It was almost too painful to imagine a life without you and then I woke up and realized that if you could imagine a life without me and not feel anything at all, then we weren’t meant to be, and in that case you can fuck off. I deserve better. Better will find me.
Your not some game, you deserve to be loved.‘Thoughts I have at night’
So Shannon had her “Shannon’s Birthday Challenge”, and I don’t do challenges because A. Rules and I don’t get along, and B. I work strictly from inspiration. And besides that, Shannon only wanted fluffy fics, so that ruled me out. But I liked one of her prompts, so she made an exception and gave me full reign to write an angsty fic, which she regretted as soon as she did. But it was too late. My prompt was “I need more time”.
Cas watched as the flames climbed up and licked at the platform until they crawled across and stretched up into the sky. The fire slowly consumed the logs and licked at the fabric that was wrapped tightly in the hunter tradition. The shadows flickered around him as the pyre disappeared beneath the roaring flames. The smoke billowed up and reached out to the stars shining bright and clear above them.
Can we just discuss that Connor line about therapy though and how much of a question it raises about him?
We’ve always been led to believe that Connor’s been confident and secure in sexuality. We know he lost his virginity at 14 but now he’s telling us he went to therapy when he was 17 to cope with his “gay stuff”. Was Connor originally not comfortable with his sexuality? Was Aiden his first guy? What happened to make him need therapy?
And then the fact he was in therapy to cope with his break up with Oliver. That goes against everything we know about Connor - or at least thought we knew - and gives a new perspective to the events in the front half of the season. If you rewatch the 3a Coliver scenes with the knowledge Connor was seeing a therapist (after episode 4 at least) it gives a bit of a different slant on things. At Wes’ party was when Connor and Oliver had that “heart to heart”. Did that trigger Connor to see a therapist?
It’s such a throwaway line and I wish it was a detail they’d added in at the time, not to mention delved deeper into. SO much of Connor’s actions seem to be explained by things in his past and I’m getting more and more impatient waiting to see what that is.
He gets so much flak, and sure, he’s an asshole, he deserves some pushback for the shitty things he does, but he deserves some understanding too and I can’t believe Pete STILL hasn’t given us that yet.
Warnings: ANGST and a smidge of fluff. Multiple POV’s
*Not my GIF*
These past eight months without you has been torture, it has been a slow, agonizing hell, I would know, I’ve been there after all. I know we came to a mutual decision to end things between us, it wasn’t working anymore and we both decided to call it quits before we started resenting each other. That doesn’t mean I stopped loving you, doesn’t mean that watching you walk out of my life is the hardest thing I have ever done, it doesn’t mean that I will ever forgive myself for not fighting harder for us, for you.
Got7 reaction to their S/O wanting to break up due to negative publicity
A/N - Bit of a wordy title haha, but hope you all enjoy~ Keep on sending me all of your requests everyone!
I think all the boys would be really sad if their significant other decided to break up with them because of the negative publicity so the member can focus on his career but some of them would be more impacted than others. Jackson, Youngjae and Yugyeom would just be really upset by it and would try to convince their partner not to break up with them. I can see it getting really tearful and these three would just not be able to cope with the idea of breaking up, even if their partner had them in their best interests. I think JB and Jinyoung would be able to understand it the most. They’d obviously still be sad about the idea of breaking up but I can imagine they’d be able to see why their S/O was thinking about it from a career point of view. They might try to fight for their relationship but would be easier to win over since they can see why it might be for the best until they can be together without worrying about the publicity. Mark and Bambam are kind of inbetween. They aren’t going to be as upset as some of the others, but they definitely wouldn’t want to accept the idea of breaking up. I think these two would fight for this relationship because of how happy it made them, no matter what the press said about them. They’d probably say something online or make a public statement about it telling the press to back off from their personal lives because it’s only having a negative effect on both you and him.
Day 6: It’s Friday. I’m dressed up and my makeup is done. I use to do this for you because Friday’s were “our day”. I do this for me now, but somewhere within me I know I’m lying maybe it’s because part of me hopes that I’ll see you today.
prettywordsfromabrokensoul | Fridays will always be our day to me | Days Without You
Seeing a hitchhiker.
Being watched as you sleep.
Being the most powerful of all, God even.
Getting followed at the grocery store.
Hearing suicide tauting remarks all day or night.
Being the one.
Being suicidal not because you feel worthless, but because you were up all night severely hallucinating and can’t take it anymore.
Not eating because everyone wants you dead.
Feeling like a ghost in your own life.
The world is shutting down, people are dropping like flies.
Having a protector.
Panic when you go from coping to a full break from reality.
Not knowing what you’ve been doing all day.
Anxiety because you feel yourself becoming delusional and know you can’t do anything about it.
Panic because you’re having an extreme delusion.
Your mind being read.
Your thoughts being erased.
Exhaustion all the time.
Keeping it to yourself because people will think of you differently.
Being paranoid all the time.
Seeing everyone’s head turned to you no matter what their position is in your peripheral vision.
now, i know you’ll all eat me for even suggesting this, and yes, that song might be just about anything, but there’s a line that stood out to me and somehow seems to….
…yes, coming from me, you’ve probably guessed it, yea, it did remind me of Frank and Gerard….
especially since he mentions Stomachaches that were basically all about coping with break up of MCR and especially Gerard and Frank. ALSO, remember when Frank had “stomachaches”? as in that health condition? it was some time after Proj Rev (remember Gerard and Frank’s big kiss and all the homo,then big ProjRev F&G fight on the stage and G&LynzWedding,Frank absent), and during the period of time before Danger days when he started writing and toured with Leathermouth when it was rumoured that MCR had broken up…..? …so thats when someone even tweeted him, asking Frank if he got fat cuz he was depressed cuz Gerard didn’t love him back (someone legit asked him something to that effect,ahah) and he responded saying that it was a certain stomach condition blabla. Later some fan who’d studied medicine said such condition doesn’t even exist…but who knows….point is……. stomachaches and Gerard are apparently somehow linked, one way or another, in real life or just through the record title (and content of the record) it’s got to do with G.
Man….i swear today i’ve listened to Stomachaches and it reminded me of just how much Frank’s (not)coping with everything that’s gone down with G.
Also, i’ll never forget how during Frank’s show Gerard attended, Frank dedicated one song to his old friends even pointing at them on a balcony (his exact wording is in the link below this pic) ehm, and he sang this song in particular:
I swear to god…there’s hella lot of shit that can’t be about anybody else but G. the lyrics just……i mean, hell, it’s obvious, no?! Like Frank would say in Stiches:
Isn’t it obvious I’m a wreck I set these fires just for you Isn’t it obvious I’ve calmed down I saved my breakdowns just for you
like, yeah, Frank…it kinda IS obvious…pretty sure he knows too…
Wonder what Parachutes will be about.
Judging by this REMEDY song….hmmmm….who knows…one would think Frank would be over it (Gerard) by now…. but will he ever? o_O
Anyhow, i kinda doubt he’d be singing this to his wife, like, whatever he had with her was “a malady without a solution”, and that she “was his remedy but ruined him”…”gave him stomachaches”…like, probably not.
See, there’s not a lot of options y know…..and assuming Frank’s writing about his own life, (cuz when wasn’t he?!), this seems pretty obvious….
AGAIN, i might be completely wrong. This might later even be proven so …i’m just throwing my two cents in….. don’t mind me :) just listen to Frankie’s awesomeness ;)