cop school

This property is HOA-Free.

This is a long one, because it involves a growing escalation of actions. TLDR at the bottom. Some terms are translated because I don’t live in an English-speaking country.

We moved houses last year, to the ugliest in the street. The previous owners must have loved Mondriaan, because the front was red/blue/yellow in windowframes and door. One paintjob, many thankful neighbors and several months later, I get an invitation to a voluntary “Collective of inhabitants”, the terms read like an opt-in HOA that you can never leave. A long list of restrictions, and no benefits? No thanks.

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Oh Lord Jesus, Thor and whatever God(s) willing to listen. My Hillary Clinton post is circulating again. Run. Save yourselves from the neo-nazis and the “I’m a feminist but” internalizers. I’ll try to hold them off.

anonymous asked:

What was the underground ice cream trade? That sounds like a cool story

*shifty eyes* oh no someone actually asked about this

alright well…. its kinda a long story that no one is going to hear in full detail because.. my brief childhood as a rising entrepreneur and procurer of goods is not to be discussed.

ahem- anyways when i was in… 1st grade (kindergarten?? nah first grade) i discovered that the Lunch Ladies were monitoring our food and reporting back to The Parents what we ate. Like say ice cream on a day we arent supposed to be eating ice cream and then our parents yelled at us because it wasnt allowed, wah wah wah cry me a fucking river. But still, such a breech of privacy was Not To Be Tolerated. so i decided to fuck the system. in ways only a 6 year old and The Godfather could.

The hows of my… procuring of the ice cream are… unimportant (I’m not telling a soul) but i managed to eat like an Ice Cream Empress for about a solid week or so before i realized that my fellow compatriots were also suffering under the tyranny of the Lunch Ladies and only I could help them. So i waited. until someone else ate ice cream on a day they weren’t supposed to and got yelled at by their parents. And when they complained at lunch and still wanted ice cream i pounced. 

“Well… i could… trade you my ice cream for something, if you want?”

and the very first deal was struck. i walked away with a pack of crayons complete with crayon sharpener and a mechanical pencil that day and i knew. I could do better. so i kept it up and soon i was selling a few ice creams here or there… for about a buck fifty within a month. i kept my rates pretty standard at that point. (icies at the school store were 75¢ for a small and $1.25 for a large - i knew what i was about)

and then a kid from the next classroom over asked me for a trade at recess and i had to expand. so i knew a kid. and then he knew a kid. and she knew a kid in 3rd grade who had a friend in the advanced class and so on. but i wouldn’t let my …opportunity out to just anyone. you had to be in to be in the know. you got me? rates stayed the same and i had to take a small cut in my profits for a minute while my operation expanded. a trade was $1.50 and my fellow entrepreneurs got 50¢ per trade plus one ice cream a week. we had to be careful now. i had about 5 comrades in arms again the Lunch Ladies in our quest for ice cream (and filling as many piggy banks as possible - even though my piggy banks were actually dalmatians and then a tea pot)

by second grade i had worked out all the kinks more or less. and developed my rules of operation.

  • no more then three trades a week per operator
  • if you share a lunch time no trades on the same day
  • do not trade to just anyone
  • all trades must be accounted for at recess or car line
  • do not tell the adults.

i was also getting sick of ice cream on the regular so i stopped eating it at this point. and then there was this kind named bry-(on? ce? something? it definitely started with a bry) and bry almost blew all of us out of the water because this little fucker got caught. he cried and was 7 years old so the adults thought poor little bry had made a mistake and let him go. but i knew. oh i knew what had happened. and this little shit could have ruined everything. and if one of us went down then all of us were going down. And the Lunch Ladies would win. but worst of all. they would tell my mom. 

so i called a business meeting at recess. now let me explain how recess was divided up. all of the 2nd graders went out at the same time and of course not all of the 2nd graders can associate with each other so parts of the playground and subsequent field was claimed by different groups. and i always got the swings. unless i wanted the slide and all the surrounding monkey bars. but that day i wanted the swings. Now its almost important to note that beyond the swings was an area that had some trees and this huge stone picnic table that was absolutely covered in gum. That belonged to the 5th graders. And no one fucked with the 5th graders. (unless you are off school property and can run fast as hell but thats another story entirely)

well. i made sure to be the teachers pet smiling little line leader that day because i didn’t need to make an entrance, i needed bry to come to me, on my swing, and know that he’d made a mistake. (i also miscalculated on the line leader thing since i was never the line leader, i always walked firmly in the middle of the pack, and my teacher was suspicious) so I’m swinging as high as i dare, this kid i knew tried to go around the bar earlier that year and broke his arm,  and waited for bry to show up. now I’m on the closest swing to the gum table and no one ever dared step a foot over the railroad tie that marked the end of safe and the beginning of danger. well. bry comes walking over and stands next to the swing set and I hop off my swing storm right up to this kid and start pushing him back. until this little shit steps clean off the playground and stands with both feet just inside 5th grade territory. and I’m standing there on the railroad tie and i say something along the lines of

“i won’t tell if you dont”

with a very pointed glance at the table of gum and since 5th graders are infinitely more terrifying then adults bry bursts into tears and swore he wouldnt. and because it was 2nd grade i probably made him swear to give me his batman folder if he did. (was i a fan of batman as a 7 year old? i was not. it was the principle of the matter.) well my teacher saw part of this and i spent a few hours in the principals office and then got sent home for the rest of the day. but my message was clear and the lines had been drawn. everything was smooth sailing there on in.

and then my parents sent me to private school for third grade afraid of all the bad influences i was encountering at public school.

they didn’t know I was the bad influence

youtube

At last! I’ve located the 60 Minutes interview featuring that Nate Dykeman interview.  Among other goodies; :)

  1:12 sharper senior photos of Eric posed by the bench
30:04 - Brooks Brown, Randy and Judy Brown interviews
35:51 - two more clearer Eric senior photo
34:02 - Nate Dykeman interview (yes that one!)
34:44 - Devon Adams interview - reported Eric to the school; clearly no love.

I found this 60 minutes to be pretty interesting thorough show.  They really pursue and demonstrate to us how unquestionably poor Jeffco police/SWAT handled Columbine. Lives were lost due to their lack of action.  They justify it as following the protocol they had in place which is basically a passive ‘wait and see’ response but no adequate excuses can be given to justify the lives that were lost because of their lack of flexibility in an emergency situation. Their fuck up cost their own children’s lives. Some of those cops had children in that school too!  The poor parents, two years in and filled with grief, still do not understand how police could’ve stayed outside waiting hours to get the green light to go into the school and do their job.  Even then, the cops went in on the far/east side of the school (where none of the action occurred) and slowly combed through. Such a waste of time and resources.  Today, Eric and Dylan would not at all have had the upper hand they were given by the authorities back in ‘99.  It’s amazing when you think of E and D walking around lazily in the cafeteria trying to get the bombs to explode when they could clearly see the cops surrounding the school from the cafeteria windows.  They must have continually wondered why in the back of their minds that no confrontation was happening. They were ruling the roost for far longer than any school shooter today would be allowed to.

Dean gets pulled along for a Halloween prank and gets caught by the last person he wants to see him like this: Castiel Novak.
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Dean doesn’t quite understand how he got here.

Alistair thrusts a roll of toilet paper in his hand with a dark grin and turns with the rest of their group to face the looming Colonial. 

“All right,” Alistair sneers. “Let’s do this before someone comes home.”

Streams of white sore through the air, wrapping around the house and tangling in the bushes and the large oak tree. Dean watches, frozen in place, as the boys run across the yard, cackling as they break garden decorations and kick up the flower beds. 

“Dean!” Gordon laughs, circling back toward where Dean is hiding by the car. “Get in on this man!”

Dean shakes his head and tries to seem as casual as possible. “Ugh, nah, dude. I’m good.”

But Gordon just rolls his eyes and grabs Dean by the arm, dragging him into the yard. He puts an egg in Dean’s hand. “Here, man. Throw it at the window.”

Dean’s fingers close loosely around the egg and he swallows roughly. “I-I don’t — can’t we just go to the-”

“Stop being such a bitch, Winchester,” Cole teases from across the yard where he’s smashing a jack-o-lantern. 

“Yeah, throw the damn egg!” Alistair says.

Even in the dark, Dean can see the glow of a threat in Alistair’s eyes. He looks up at the house and the big dark window and takes a deep breath.

Just as he’s drawing his arm back, the house floods with light and water shoots from the ground. 

“Oh, fuck, run!”

Dean drops the egg and the four boys race toward the car as the front door opens. 

“Hello? Whose there?” 

Dean can’t resist a quick look back because the voice sounds familiar and the next thing he knows he’s falling face first into the wet grass.

A few meters ahead of him, an engine starts and tires squeal against asphalt as it speeds away.

The water cuts off and Dean pushes himself up with a groan, trying to scramble to his feet but his ankle throbs and he collapses back to the ground with a curse.

“Are you okay?”

He jumps at the voice, body chilling with dread. He’s so busted. Why did he ever agree to go out with Alistair and his evil minions? This guy’s going to call the cops and then his parents are going to murder him. Shit, shit, shit.

“Dean?”

Dean’s head whips up at his name and he blinks at the dark figure standing over him, not recognizing him until the guy leans closer. 

Fuck.

“Cas?”

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Underrated Voltron Dynamics: Pidge and Keith
  • The fite team, living proof that shorter people are closer to hell.
  • Team up to get things off of high shelves.
  • Would probably kill you for Takashi Shirogane. Would probably kill lots of people for Takashi Shirogane.
  • Keith is interested in tech, if not naturally talented with it. He sits next to Pidge and watches the work, and helps a little bit. Handing wrenches and that sort of thing.
  • Twin obsessive personalities. Keith finds a wall and makes a big galactic map that they put sticky notes on. Pins tied together with string. Military strategy interpreted old school cop style.
  • Helps Pidge with the search for the Holt family in the same way. There are file folders. Allura despairs of why Keith is constantly printing things out to stick them to walls. Pidge has no idea why he insists on doing things this way, but appreciates the help.
  • They judge Lance together.
  • Keith teaches Pidge more about really close quarters combat.
  • Pidge is a a bit of a picky eater and Keith is too by nature, even if he’s learned to be flexible. They trade foods at the dinner table if one person likes something and the other person doesn’t.
💖tips for people starting high school (or even middle school) this year!💖

🍀 if you’re worried about getting lost get a map of the school. i guarantee you every school has a map (they need them in order to plot emergency exit plans) and you can get these either by popping in to your school office and asking the people at the front desk if they have one or by just looking online. mark the location of your classes on the map, jot down your class schedule, and keep it out with you until you can figure out how to get to your classes by memory.

🍀 if you actually do get lost don’t be afraid to ask someone for help. my first day of high school i was walking all over the damn place for a good 20 minutes looking for a classroom before i finally went to the front office and asked for directions (i had somehow entirely missed a wing of the school in my wanderings and that was where the class was, yikes). teachers and other adult staff are the best to ask but if none are around find a kid that looks older than you and ask them. someone will know where you need to go and will be able to point you in the right direction, you just have to be willing to ask them as soon as you’ve realized you have no clue where the hell you’re going instead of walking around like a lost duck for so long like i did.

🍀 write your locker combination down somewhere that’s easily accessible. even if you’re like “ha! it’s only three numbers, i can remember that!” write it down. and if you’re not comfortable or familiar with using combination locks, look up how to use them online - watch a video or two - and maybe write the instructions for which way to turn them down too. it’s not hard but it can be tricky, especially if you’ve never used a combo lock before and you’re already dealing with new school jitters that can throw you off.

🍀 familarize yourself with the rules of your school. your teachers will probably give you a rule booklet on your first day but if not then the rules are likely available to view online. this tip isn’t here to be a buzzkill but to caution practicality: different schools have different rules. some of those rules may be weird, some may be unfair, but in any case it’s always a good idea to know what is/isn’t allowed in your school so you can avoid doing anything that might get you punished (or at least so you’ll know that you should hide what you’re doing so you don’t get caught). specifically be sure you know rules that are about your school’s dress code, their policy on snacks and drinks in the classroom (this may be something you need to ask individual teachers about as well, as different teachers may have different views on this), whether phones or other devices are allowed in school, and if you take any kind of medications (down to an over the counter tylenol or benadryl) whether you’re allowed to bring those or if you need to fill out some kind of form to get permission first.

🍀 buy your own mini pencil sharpener. these were never on any of my school supply lists but they’re one of those things that you’re better off having and not needing than needing and not having (trust me you don’t want to get up and walk all the way across the room during a test or something to use the teacher’s sharpener, they’re big and loud and they annoy everyone).

🍀 make it a habit to write things down! write down all of your homework assignments and any projects, their due dates, and any quizzes/tests your teacher tells you about. also go through your planner and mark out any days that your school will be closed or closing early. some schools give out planners at the beginning of every year (mine did) but if yours doesn’t then buy one for yourself. it doesn’t have to be fancy or anything, they sell decent ones for cheap at stores like dollar tree. just make sure that you use it! it will make your life 100x easier.

🍀 if you’re someone who has a period make sure you have a small bag of necessary supplies with you in your bookbag. include a few pads, tampons, or whatever you use. different schools have different policies on bringing medication (such as ibuprofen, tylenol, or other pain killers you might use for cramps + other period symptoms) so please be aware of what your school’s policy is before you bring a bottle of pills or even a few loose pills to school with you; even if it’s an over the counter drug you can still get in trouble for bringing it to school without permission. if you’re not sure of your school’s policy your best bet is to drop by the school nurse’s office and ask them about it. don’t be too embarrassed to talk about period stuff with them, school nurses have seen/heard everything and they are not going to judge you.

🍀 don’t freak out about where to sit at lunch. seriously. movies and tv shows make a big deal about this (mean girls, anyone?) but in reality it’s just not that big of a deal. if you’re lucky you’ll share a lunch period with people you know and like and will be able to sit with them but if you don’t then don’t worry too much about it, either. try finding a table that seems mostly empty and sit down there. people you don’t know will probably sit with you and this is okay—you’re not obligated to introduce yourself but you’re also not obligated to not introduce yourself either, be polite and maybe smile and say hey if you want or just nom your food and mind your business. these kids are no different from you, they just want to eat, and chances are they’ll be perfectly fine. if you can’t find a mostly empty table, then look for an empty seat next to someone who looks more focused on eating. ask them if you can sit there. 9 times out of 10 they will say yes. sit, eat, wait for the bell, go. repeat the next day. eventually, it’ll just be another part of the routine.

🍀 don’t bring anything expensive to school unless it can fit in your locker (and you’re willing to keep it there) or you know you can keep it with you at all times. i’m not saying your stuff is going to get stolen but i’ve seen it happen before—kid comes to school, shows off their phone or ipod or something, goes to the bathroom leaving the thing unattended, and whoops! it’s gone when they come back. be responsible with your things, especially if they’re things you wouldn’t want to lose. and if you don’t absolutely NEED to bring a thing to school, consider leaving it at home.

🍀 don’t bring drugs, alcohol, weapons, or anything else illegal to school. this is common sense y'all. if you don’t want a police dog to start barking at your locker and to get in some serious trouble then leave the weed at home where the cops actually need a warrant or some kind of probable cause to come in and find it. the school building is not yours and your locker is not yours, it’s the schools. don’t bring anything into the school that you’re not okay with school staff and school cops finding.

🍀 turn your phone off before you go into the school in the morning. there are very few ways to piss a teacher off quite as quickly as having your phone ring while they’re in the middle of speaking or the class is in the middle of a test. not only will they be angry but it’s also just super embarrassing and will probably end up with you getting your phone confiscated. also, don’t text during class. i know it’s tempting but it’s not worth getting in trouble for. keep it off and if you can’t trust yourself to keep it off then keep it at home.

🍀 manage your time between classes wisely. know how much time there is between class letting out and the bell for the next class ringing and know how long it will take you to get to your next class from where you’re at. socializing is good and healthy but don’t burn up all of the time you have between classes hanging out talking to people in the hallway because it can wind up making you late. make sure you pee if you’ve gotta pee and that you have everything you need for your next class.

and for a lot of you beginning middle or high school is usually the first time you’ll have a gym class where you have to change your clothes in a locker room or shower around other students. this can obviously cause a lot of anxiety, especially for those of you who might deal with body image issues so here are a few tips for how to potentially deal with that as well as other locker room tips:

🍀 a lot of gym locker rooms have bathroom stalls attached and you can potentially get changed in those rather than out in the open with everyone else. note that some gym teachers may not be okay with students doing this. if that’s the case then they’ll likely tell you about it on day one of gym class. if they don’t mention it then consider it okay but if they don’t allow people to get changed in the bathroom then you can always slip into a regular school bathroom prior to gym class and change your clothes there and then change into your regular clothes after gym. as long as you manage your time wisely and don’t take too long and wind up late for gym or your next class, you shouldn’t get in trouble for this.

🍀 if you have body image issues about how your upper body looks you can consider wearing a long tank-top underneath your regular clothes and, after you change out of your regular clothes, just put your gym shirt on on top of the tank top. you’re still changing but no one is actually seeing your chest/skin which reduces some of the anxiety.

🍀 if you have body image issues about your lower body or people seeing you in your underwear you can consider wearing boxers or some kind of shorts-like underwear instead of briefs. these cover more skin than briefs do which can, again, reduce anxiety. no matter what your gender identity is there should be some kind of underwear like this in a pattern/color/material that is comfy for you. alternatively, you could also wear thin leggings under your regular pants (though this may not be feasible for you during summer when it’s really hot out).

🍀 if you don’t want to shower after gym, no one can force you. just make sure to have a clean set of clothes to change into, make sure you wear deodorant, and carry a packet of nicely scented wipes in your gym bag to wipe down with after gym is over. maybe also spritz a bit of perfume or scented water in your hair.

🍀 keep a pair of fresh socks in your gym bag. everyone knows to bring their gym clothes but a lot of people forget to bring a pair of clean socks and you really need to. your feet will get sweaty and hot and even if they don’t start to stink it’s still going to be really uncomfortable to wear them until you get home.

🍀 actually wash your gym clothes. YMMV, i don’t know how much y'all sweat or stink, but be sure you wash your gym clothes at least once a week because no matter what your body odor level is they will start to stink after awhile. if your clothes get particularly funky then wash them in a mix of antibacterial soap and baking soda—the soap will kill the germs and the baking soda will make them smell good again.

🍀 and speaking of stink, if your gym shoes start to smell funky buy some baking soda spray and spray the hell out of them too.

🍀 be respectful of other people in the locker room. don’t make comments about other people’s bodies that could make them feel uncomfortable or upset. if you make any kind of mess, clean it up. if the locker room has bathroom stalls attached, don’t hog them - always be aware of how much time you’re spending in there or in front of the mirror and whether there’s anyone standing around who needs to get into a stall or use a sink. and if you use perfume or body spray or any other kind of aerosol, for the love of god and asthmatics everywhere, don’t use too much of it—not to call anyone out but you young dudes out there who are just beginning your manly love affair with AXE body spray need to be especially on notice over this. when i was in middle school boys used so much AXE that you could see the waves of it drifting out of their locker room and making its way across the gym. i know y'all want to smell good but that shit can choke people out, i promise you that you don’t need to use quite THAT much in order to smell nice.

🍀 stand up to bullying and body shaming when you see it happen. if you see something, say something. if another student is being bullied in the locker room, stand up for them. sometimes the only thing it takes for a bully to stop is for other people to tell them to shut the fuck up and make it clear that their behavior isn’t acceptable. reach out to classmates of yours who you see being bullied and body shamed even when you don’t know them. you don’t have to be friends with someone in order to understand that they deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. defend people who are being attacked and taken advantage of and make sure they know that they deserve better.

💖 💖 if i missed anything please feel free to add on to this list!!! 💖 💖