be coolinary cookbook club: the cop cookbook
Welcome to the first installment of the Be Coolinary Cookbook Club. Today we will be exploring the coolinary treasure that is The Cop Cookbook. Published in 1997 by Rutledge Hill Press of Nashville, Tennessee, it boasts 241 pages of recipes from real life cops, detectives, and federal agents, as well as actors that played them in television shows and movies. It is truly a one of a kind read.
Have you always wanted to make some 21 Jump Street Jumbo Scampi? Or wondered what ingredients compose the infamous Chips Party Patrol Mix? Do you crave that-guy-from-the-Police-Academy-that-makes-all-the-weird-noises’ recipe for Garlic Bread? Well settle down because it is all here in The Cop Cookbook.
Today I am going to try out Don Knotts’ recipe for Barney’s Chocolate Moulage. It was a tough call between Ed Harris’ Darin’ Man’s Mandarin Orange Dessert and Mr Knotts’ Moulage. However, upon further inspection of the recipes, I found the inclusion of condensed milk, mandarin oranges, vanilla wafers, and whipped topping in Harris’ concoction to be somewhat questionable. And clearly inferior to a good old fashioned moulage.
So what is a moulage? Apparently it is a mold or a cast of something used for identification purposes. It is also the art of making fake wounds and injuries on a mannequin or dummy for medical training purposes. Neither one of these explanations is helpful in understanding what this dessert is going to be like so I suppose I should just get started…
Barney’s Chocolate Moulage
straight from The Cop Cookbook by Greta Garner-Hewitt, Ken Beck, and Jim Clark
4 whole eggs
2 egg whites
2 ½ cups sugar
2/3 cup all-purpose flour
4 tablespoons cocoa
1 stick butter (that’s 4 ounces or ½ cup)
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 ¼ cups chopped pecans (I am going to use candied hazelnuts because they are better)
chocolate syrup (optional) (I am going to use hot fudge because it is better)
ice cream (apparently not optional)
Preheat oven to 300 degrees.
Beat the eggs, egg whites, and sugar with a mixer for 10 minutes.
Got it. No problem. Easy.
Done. This already looks wrong…
Sift the flour and cocoa together, then add, along with the butter and vanilla, to the egg mixture.
I am an excellent sifter.
Mixed in the flour and cocoa no problem.
And the vanilla. So far so good.
Now I am supposed add butter…
My culinary expertise is telling me Mr Knotts did not want me to drop this stick of butter into my fluffy, eggy, chocolate goo, so I am going to melt it real quick and then fold it in. I am beginning to think Mr Knotts may have never made his own moulage.
Add the nuts.
Pour mixture into a greased 12X15X2-inch baking pan.
Your killing me Knotts! A pan with these dimensions is definitely uncommon in a typical home cook’s kitchen. And I have to say, as someone who reads and creates recipes, I am disappointed in Mr Knotts’ lack of consideration for his readers. That is not the Barney I know.
I used your typical 9x13x2 rectangular baking dish.
Place the pan in a pan of water. Bake for 55 to 60 minutes.
Voila! Barney’s Chocolate Moulage!
Drizzle with chocolate syrup, if desired (it is not), before serving. Serve with your favorite ice cream (also drizzled with chocolate syrup). No thank you Knotts.
It turns out that Mr Knotts’ moulage is some kind of a souffle-brownie-dacquoise hybrid. But instead of tasting as delicious as such a dessert combination might sound, it actually was significantly less tasty than any single one of the three. Unfortunately the whole did not prove to be greater than the sum of its parts in my kitchen today. In fact, the whole is probably going in the compost when I finish this. But maybe that was what all the chocolate syrup and the ice cream was for. Or should I say ice crime…