Off of the Smut challenge list: 11: Cop/felon 13: Hallway 18: Sensual sex Capt. Boomerang
warning there be smut ahead!
word count: 780
Grasping his elbow, the police officer lead the burly and disheveled Aussie through a door marked ‘employees only’ and into the back hallways that snaked across the mall unseen by shoppers. The man’s boots squeaked on the tile as he stumbled along next to her, off balance due to the alcohol and having his hands tethered behind him.
The officer had been called in to deal with a drunk and disorderly patron of the mall, a routine arrest, but upon arrival she quickly recognized the public nuisance from the wanted posters in the station. He was easy enough to subdue and cuff thanks to his intoxication, and she was pleased as punch with her luck.
“I have to admit,” she began as they walked down the empty corridor, “You’re much more attractive in person. Your mugshots don’t do you justice.”
Boomer quirked his eyebrow, looking over his shoulder to the shorter woman. “Ay, yah think so?” He flashed his trademark, lopsided grin before halting and facing her. “How’s about this, if yeh think I’m so cute, I’ll do something for ya and then you can do something for me?” he bargained, leaning into her personal space while she continued to hold his arm. She stepped back, closer to the wall as he hung over her.
“And what do you think you can do for me?” Though an excitement leapt inside her at his proximity and suggestion, she played it cool, keeping her expression still.
“Sit on my face and I’ll show ya,” Boomer offered as he backed her up against the concrete wall, pressing his chest against hers before swooping in to capture her lips.
Running her palms along his arms, she returned his affections, leaning into him as she linked her arms around his neck. While tugging on his bottom lip, she made up her mind. How many hundreds of times had she heard her male colleagues brag about getting head from the women they arrested?
“Okay,” she agreed in a breathy voice. Boomer seemed almost surprised as he pulled back.
“Alight, undo me hands and I’ll show you a proper good time,” he smirked, confident until she began to laugh.
His face dropped as she shook her head, “No way I’m letting you out those cuffs. You don’t need your hands to eat me out.” Boomer looked sour as she squeezed his shoulders, “Well? On your knees.” He did as he was told and dropped down while she began to undo her heavy belt and the fly to her navy blue uniform trousers. Wetting his lips, he watched eagerly as she lowered her panties and reached forward, gently running her fingers through the hair on the top of his head.
Leaning forward, he kissed at the skin of her thigh just above her knee, the scratchiness of his facial hair contrasting with the moist texture of his soft lips in the most pleasant way. The officer shivered with each touch, slowly lifting her leg to rest on his shoulder as he nipped his way along her inner thigh, closer to her apex.
She couldn’t hold back her voice as he pulled at the lips of her vulva before taking a long swipe with his tongue. She shuddered both from the stimuli of his tongue circling her clit and the feeling of power over him. Digging her nails into his scalp, she pulled at his hair, urging him to continue. Boomer gave it his all, pulling out every trick he knew as he swirled his tongue, teasing her entrance while pressing his nose against her clit.
Feeling her legs tense, Boomer could tell she was close to her end, and with a final hard pull on her clit she unravelled around him. He continued lapping at her center with long slow movements as her knees shook. He didn’t stop until she finally yanked on the curls at the crown of his head, jerking his face away while she dropped her foot and steadied herself on shaky legs.
“How’s that for yah?” Boomer asked with smirk as he sat back on his heels, watching her gather up her discarded clothing and redress.
“Not bad,” she retorted with a shrug, zipping her fly as he maneuvered to stand up.
“Okay, now undo me hands,” he ordered, only to receive a surprised look from the officer as she smoothed out her top, making sure every bit was tucked into the waistband.
“You’re kidding, right?” she chuckled before grabbing his elbow and urging him forward down the hallway. “You asked for a favor but you didn’t specify what. I was just going to make sure you had a clean cell to sleep in.”
I keep seeing white liberals on social media posting that they can’t believe what is happening in Ferguson, or that they can’t believe this is happening in America. Now I normally wouldn’t care enough about any of that to make any commentary, but they are sending me messages, outraged at what America has become. This America is strange to them. “Are you seeing this?” Yes, I see it. “How is this happening?” Have you all not noticed that I’m Black? Do you genuinely believe that you are sharing confidential information here? Is white supremacy and the abuse of power by the police supposed to be breaking news for me? It’s like they’re saying “us good white people wanted to let you know that there are bad white people out there doing bad things. It’s shocking! Just want to let you know in case you weren’t aware.” They can’t believe it they say.
There are only 3 reasons why they can’t believe that Black people are under siege in the United States and those reasons are as follows;
1. They know nothing about the country they live in. Absolutely nothing.
2. They haven’t actually listened or payed attention to anything Black people have said before.
3. They are deep denial about their country.
This is a country that dropped two bombs via air on Black people in Philadelphia in 1985. When it comes to raids and sieges, all white people know is Waco and maybe Ruby Ridge. They don’t know about MOVE in Philadelphia. Go ask your white liberal friends if they know about MOVE and you will probably be met with blank stares.
Since the inception of the US as a settler nation, Black people have been under siege. Black people being under siege is something many white liberals cannot fathom because they have never been under siege and they don’t know Black history beyond Martin Luther King having a dream and Rosa Parks sitting on a bus. They are comparing Ferguson to war zones outside the US because this doesn’t seem like home. Certainly not the home they know. They can’t fathom it happening in their country. No my friends, this is America. This is your country. This is what it has always been. Violence committed against Black people is as American as apple pie.
This level of savagery is foreign to white liberals because they don’t encounter openly hostile and aggressive law enforcement as a default. They don’t have to deal with the indignity and dehumanization of barbaric policing and then get told that them being targeted for abuse is the law (i.e. stop and frisk, broken windows, Rockefeller drug laws etc). They’re not accosted by officers with K9 units. They’re not dealing with aerial outposts of police surveillance in their communities. It’s not their blood flowing on the streets. Pictures of dead white bodies murdered by the police and white vigilantes isn’t a reality that gets shared on social media. Their dead bodies aren’t used by opportunistic media outlets looking to garner traffic and clicks for profit. Their dead bodies aren’t consumed by an eager audience looking to take a bite out of the latest ‘strange fruit’ that fell off the poplar tree. Cops are not barging into their homes and destroying everything in sight. It’s not their naked grandmothers being dragged out of their homes. It’s certainly not their 7 year old daughters getting shot and murdered as they sleep like Aiyana Jones, nor is it their teenage sons being taken to remote marshes, forced to strip, beaten to a bloody pulp and then abandoned nude, like Rayshawn Moreno.
Do they think these cops became this aggressive, violent and militarized overnight? They evolved into the beasts you see by enacting brutality on Black people. Evolved is the wrong word here. They’ve always been like this. They just have better equipment at their disposal. Gone are the water cannons and fire hoses. They now have rubber and wooden bullets, tear gas and sound cannons that cause permanent hearing loss.
The looting narrative is dead. Anti-Black racists can’t spin this with the classic Black criminality boogieman. The police are assaulting residential neighborhoods. The tide turned for white liberals after journalists started getting assaulted. Then it got real. It wasn’t real before when it was only Black bodies. Black suffering is meant for consumption and profit, not for enacting justice. Anti-Black racists wanted to conflate the issue with a handful of looters, as if the entire Black community in Ferguson were looters.
The question that should now be posed is that if journalists are getting arrested, physically assaulted, pelted with rubber and wooden bullets and even getting shot at with tear gas; if this is how the police is acting when everyone is watching, how do you think the police acts towards Black people when no one is watching? How do you think their policing in Black communities is conducted? Please note, after shooting journalists directly with tear gas, the police took their cameras. See here.
All this is happening in Ferguson because Black people dared to demand that the cop who murdered 18 year old Michael Brown be held accountable. They have to fight for mere accountability. Justice is not a given, they have to literally take to the streets and brave a police force that looks like an occupying military presence, complete with weaponry for warfare.
Ask yourselves white liberals, how often do white people have to galvanize entire communities and protest to get someone charged with murdering a white person? This is what Black people have to do time and time again.
Anyone who “can’t believe” what is happening in Ferguson is someone who is ahistorical and ignorant about the relationship the US has with Black people. We live in a country where the first air strikes delivered on US soil was on Black people in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Their communities were destroyed. Incendiary bombs and explosives were dropped on them by white law enforcement via World War I planes. I repeat, they dropped bombs on Black people in residential neighborhoods. I made no mention of the ground attacks, just the aerial assaults. So by all means, after you feign shock at what is happening in Ferguson, crack open a book (written by a Black historian) and see what your country has been doing and getting away with for time immemorial.
We are living through and watching Ferguson in real time, and this will be history. Like with previous sieges and assaults on Black communities, the grandchildren of today’s white liberals who know nothing about MOVE in Philly or Black Wall Street in Tulsa or Rosewood or the Colfax riot or the Wilmington insurrection or any of the numerous state sponsored and funded assaults on Black communities will feign shock and disbelief when Black people are again assaulted and they will say “I can’t believe this is happening in America”. These are the same white people who are outraged at wiretaps and declare that “the government is invading their privacy”. They will say “this country is turning into a police state”. They will say that when this country had the FBI’s Cointelpro. Surveillance is something that is shocking to them. It’s shocking because they don’t know about Cointelpro and what it did to Black people and Black progress. Black people have lived under siege and under surveillance. This might be new for you, but it’s not new for Black people.
In the future when the young Black protesters of today’s Ferguson will be old, the young white liberals, much like their forbears who have never heard of MOVE, will know nothing of Ferguson. White people have the privilege of not needing to know. Ferguson will be another ugly chapter in the annals of US history that will not be part of a school curriculum outside of a Black studies class.
Black people will soldier on. They are survivors. The very existence of Black people in the US and the Americas is a tale of survival. Bless them. Bless us.
These totals have been complied by counting the number of kills by each of the protags in solo missions (including Strangers and Freaks and character specific Random Events) and splitting the amount of kills made during play in missions with two or more active characters wherever the story/settings allows for variations on gameplay.
* = optional kills. ** = before switch is available. ~ = variable based on play style.
Michael’s confirmed kill count is a minimum of 189 people.
Jay Norris (Friend Request)
At least 1 of the boat thieves (Father and Son)
and 21 IAA/security agents at the morgue (Dead Man Walking)
4+ at the IAA building, plus 3
choppers, max 3 people in each (Three’s Company)
~18+ cops/N.O.O.S.E (Blitz Play)
1 alleged terrorist in Chumash (By the Book)
A minimum of 3 building workers (Mr. Richards)
Rocco Pelosi and Gianni (The Ballad of Rocco)
Pilot and passenger of plane (Caida Libre)
2 O'Neil brothers (Predator)
20+ IAA agents/scientists (Monkey Business)
22 Triads (Bury The Hatchet)
**10 Triads (Fresh Meat)
**10 FIB agents at
the Kortz Center (The Wrap Up)
3+ Ballas (Lamar Down)
Molly Schultz (Legal Trouble)
22 Merryweather agents (Meltdown)
Stretch and/or 10 Ballas (The Third Way)
Dr. Friedlander* (Abandonment Issues)
Abigail Mathers* (What Lies Beneath)
Tracey’s stalker* (Doting Dad)
12+ Epsilon members* (Unknowing the Truth)
Trevor kills approximately a potential minimum of 426 people.
Cash depot guard (Prologue)
Johnny K and 24+ Bikers (Mr. Philips)
Ortega and 25+ Aztecas (Trevor Philips Industries)
30+ Bikers (Nervous Ron)
18+ O’Neil brothers (Crystal Maze)
5+ bikers in (Friends Reunited)
~8+ cops/N.O.O.S.E (Blitz Play)
30 Ballas (Hood Safari) [if played solely as Trevor]
Javier - Madrazo’s Cousin (Caida Libre)
10 Merryweather guards (Minor Turbulence)
2 train drivers and 15 Merryweather (Derailed)
Floyd Hebert and Debra (Hang Ten)
Leon, the former owner of The Vanilla Unicorn (Hang Ten)
100 People, and in some cases Things, that would make a better President than Donald Trump
3. Beyoncé’s 3 year old child Blue Ivy
4. Franklin Roosevelt
5. Abraham Lincoln
6. George Washington
7. Nicki Minaj
8. Nicki Minaj’s butt
9. Chris Pratt
10. Fetty Wap
11. Mariah Carey
12. Velma from Scooby Doo
13. Daphne from Scooby Doo
14. Scooby Doo
15. Ariana Grande
16. Ariana Grande’s hair extensions
17. Paul Blart: Mall Cop
18. A jar of mayonnaise
19. The cast of Empire
20. The cast of SpongeBob SquarePants
21. Mr. Rogers
22. Big Bird
23. Mickey Mouse
25. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich
26. A toothbrush
27. A spoon
28. Ellen Degeneres
29. Bill Nye the Science Guy
30. Myself & I
31. You, probably, depending on who you are
32. Steven Spielberg
33. Harrison Ford
34. Han Solo
35. Princess Leia
38. Wonder Woman
39. Mr. Incredible
40. Mrs. Incredible
41. Jimmy Fallon
42. Jimmy Kimmel
43. Jimmy Neutron
44. Carl from Jimmy Neutron
45. Shaquille O'Neal
46. Michael Jordan
47. The movie Space Jam
48. Bugs Bunny
49. Daffy Duck
50. The number 50
51. A Mexican American, including but not limited to:
52. George Lopez,
53. Ricardo Montalbán,
54. Eva Longoria,
55. or Salma Hayek
56. Will Ferrell
57. Steve Carell
58. Amy Poehler with auburn hair
59. Amy Poehler with blonde hair
60. Sir Mix-a-Lot
61. Will Smith
62. Jaden Smith
63. Willow Smith
64. the song Whip My Hair by Willow Smith
65. The entire population of the state of Hawaii
66. Marty McFly
67. A doorstop
68. James Bond
69. A wax figure of Gwen Stefani
73. A high-heeled shoe
74. A martini
75. Miranda Cosgrove
76. Josh Peck
77. the song We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
78. Beyoncé saying “Onika” in the Flawless Remix
79. Dory from Finding Nemo
80. Meryl Streep
81. Jodie Foster
82. Jennifer Lawrence
83. Bianca Del Rio
84. Leonardo DiCaprio
85. An Academy Award Statuette
87. Roman Zolanski
88. The Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Show Performance
89. A soup ladle
90. A pair of Crocs
91. Nicki Minaj’s verse in Monster by Kanye West
93. A trash can
94. Moderate to severe plaque psoriasis
95. A minivan
96. The Abominable Snowman
97. Adam & Eve
98. Adam & Steve
99. Michelle Obama
100. Bernie Sanders
I was discussing this with my brother last night, but how come all the DBZ ship names are just the names of the characters mushed together (GoChi, Tiencha, Bulgeta, K/18, etc)? Why can’t we have dumb punny ship names like the Pokemon and TF2 fandoms do? I DEMAND GOOFY SHIP NAMES FOR ALL MY FANDOMS.
KimK already rejected M. (Gossip Cop, April 18): Kim Kardashian Trying To “Strike Up Royal Friendship” With Meghan Markle?…..There has to be a MAJOR reason why The Kardashians rejected M. Something even *they* couldn't tolerate. That says A LOT.
Yes, it does say nope we got your number sista, that was the fastest debunk ever! Good for Kim.
“How to get a boyfriend in 20 steps, Judy style. Written by Nick Wilde.
Step 1: See future bf in ice cream store.
Step 2: Immediately fall in love with him.
Step 3: Buy future bf his ice cream.
Step 4: Stalk future bf.
Step 5: Confront future bf about his job.
Step 6: Blackmail him into helping you.
Step 7: Do dangerous work.
Step 8: Amazing epic future bf stands up to your boss, everyone is in aw.
Step 9: Trick future bf into opening up about his feelings.
Step 10: Start a howl.
Step 11: Sort of figure out case.
Step 12: Ask future bf to be a cop and your partner.
Step 13: Publicly discriminate against future bf and break his heart.
Step 14: Run away for half a year.
Step 15: Show up crying to future bf about how he was right and how you missed him and tell him he’s super awesome and stuff.
Step 16: Hug.
Step 17: Solve actual case.
Step 18: Become cop partners.
Step 19: Ask future bf out multiple times until he says yes.
Step 20: Have boyfriend.”
Clawhauser looks up from piece of paper, amazement on his face. “Is that really how it happened?” Clawhauser asked. Judy sighs out of annoyance.
“Of course that’s how buddy!” Nick smiles.
“Wow, Judy I didn’t know all this…” Clawhauser started.
“Oh my, no, some of the points are exaggerated, I didn’t ask him out he asked me out, only once, and I said yes…” Judy said, annoyed.
“Sure, sure,” Nick said teasingly.
“Come on Officer Wilde, we have work to do!” Judy says, grabbing Nick and pulling him towards the door.
“Whatever you say Officer Hopps. Clawhauser, take care!” Nick calls, waving as he is dragged out of the building. Clawhauser smiles at the door.
“What a cute couple, I’m going to copy this and give it to all the ZPD.” (Outside in the patrol car) Judy suddenly shivers.
“What’s wrong Carrots?” Nick asks.
“I just got a really bad feeling…” Judy answers.
Is it racist that a white, 20 year old unarmed kid was shot by a black cop on Monday, Aug 18, 3 days ago and its no where in the news? Oh wait, it happens all the time, its just not newsworthy. Sucks to be white.
Dear Racists: I know you’re going to to be trotting this out in the next few days claiming that this shows how white people are just as badly treated as black people in the US (though, of course, the idea that “it happens all the time” to white people is, of course, a ridiculous and disgusting lie).
But guess what, fuckheads, as usual, you’re wrong as fuck. The reason this tragedy isn’t national news is because, surprise surprise, a similar (ish) shooting of a white teenager by a black cop is being handled by the authorities completely differently! That’s right, you dumbfucks, this officer is being immediately and vigorously investigated, the officer’s name was released, the victim wasn’t denied medical care, nor was his body left on the street for hours. It’s almost like we treat black and white people differently in our justice system! And if you want to argue that the fucking Salt Lake City PD (oh shit, was I able to read about this case in the NATIONAL NEWS?!?!?! ) is racist against white people, you are fucking out of your mind.
So, nice try, you asshole, I know you were salivating over finding a case to compare this to Mike Brown, but, even with this timing, you’re not even fucking close to proving your racist “point.”
To someone on the outside, one of the most baffling parts of the Ferguson Police Department’s response to their shooting of an unarmed teenager was when they refused to name the officer who pulled the trigger. “If we come out and say, ‘It was this officer,’ then he immediately becomes a target,” the Ferguson, MO police chief said, about officer Darren Wilson, the cop who shot 18 year-old Mike Brown. “We’re taking the threats seriously.” The reason it seemed strange is because it implied that the cops don’t see themselves as part of the community. In a perfect world, the police chief should look at a dead kid and be like, “Wow, this whole town needs to work together to figure out what happened here, because a child is dead, and that is unacceptable.” But instead he prioritized the comfort and security of his officer over the comfort and security of his community, which … okay, non-rhetorical question: Isn’t that literally the opposite of his job?