coolest woman

The Nature of Storytelling: Why We Have Superheroes

This article is intended for everyone. Not just people who read comics or books or play card games. What I am addressing in this article is the question of: why we have superheroes. Why do we, as a species, have stories of superheroes? To my knowledge, every single culture on Earth has a story about some great individual, or group of individuals, that has made significant changes in their world in the name of a greater good. But what makes this such a ubiquitous concept? Why do humans have stories of superheroes?

Gather `Round. It’s Storytelling Time!


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#26 [Dean Ambrose]

Requested, #26. “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.” (Prompt from here.)

AUTHOR NOTE: This is shorter than my usual stuff. Just something cute and fluffy.

@superkixbaybay @hiitsmecharlie @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @valeonmars @pjanina13 @catie-kaboom @cosmicswimming



“We’re getting married in a couple days.”

We are?”

You narrowed your eyes at your fiancé’s sarcastic response. The typical rueful grin came to his face at your look, making him appear years younger, and entirely nonthreatening. Taking it a step further, you kicked at him lightly, your foot making contact with his thigh. You were settled back against the arm of the couch, taking up one cushion, as Dean was seated on the next cushion, leaned back and legs wide.

“Hey! Be nice,” he demanded at your action. You pushed harder at this leg, grinning. “I’ll leave you at the altar if you keep it up darlin’.”

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Customer highlights from working at the ice cream store today:

  • An incredibly, incredibly polite young southern man who began every sentence with “could I trouble you for…” and ended it with “thank you, ma’am” (ex. “could I trouble you for a taste of the telltale chocolate? thank you ma’am.”) 
  • A tiny girl with pigtails who watched with rapt attention while I made waffle cones and then told me with complete sincerity that I was “the coolest.” 
  • A woman with sick tattoos who told me to put “as much chocolate fudge as is legally allowed” on her brownie sundae.
  • Dia: Oh! Chika, look! Can it be?
  • Chika: Mikan?
  • Dia: No, it’s µ’s! Japan’s premiere School Idol group, next to that of A-RISE! Ah! And the leader of BiBi! The coolest woman ever! Ayase Eli!
  • Chika: What’s so great about her?
  • Dia: If I could just touch the hem of her outfit, or even shake her hand, then maybe some of her greatness would rub off on me.
  • Chika: Dia, as a friend, I must say that’s really geeky.
2

This badass here was the coolest woman of the Middle Ages. She was the daughter of William X, duke of Aquitaine and Count of Poitiers. When she was fifteen, her daddy died and she inherited his lands. She married Louis VII and became queen of France. She accompanied her husband to the Holy Land on a crusade, where she is rumored to have cheated on him (possibly with her uncle Raymond of Poitiers). Her and her ladies dressed as Amazons and were badasses, but the Second Crusade was a disaster. Louis was not only a boring lover, he was also at the time an ineffectual military leader. Under the pretext of consanguinity (they were third cousins) and the wife’s supposed inability to bear sons (they had two daughters together), Eleanor was repudiated. She said kthanxbye and bounced with her lands. Some dude tried to kidnap her and force her to marry him but she was like HELL NO. She married Henry, Duke of Normandy, who was eleven years younger than her (what a cougar! and she might have had an affair with his father prior to their wedding). Two years later, Henry became king of England. Throughout their marriage, she gave him five sons and three daughters (in your face, Louis!). She supported her sons in their rebellion against their father, so Henry imprisoned her for sixteen years. When Henry died, Eleanor’s favorite son, Richard the Lionheart, became king and released his mommy at once. Aged approximatively 67 at the time of her liberation, she became queen dowager. She died at 82 years old! She is, to my knowledge, the only woman to have ever been queen of France and of England. Three of her sons ruled over England (Henry, Richard and John), and two of her daughters were also queens (Eleanor and Joan). Throughout history, people have accused her of every vice (notably to have poisoned Henry’s mistress, the Fair Rosamund) but such allegations are false and were only invented in attempt to discredit a queen who, in a time where so little opportunities were given to women, displayed great fierceness and power.

My therapist asked me what demisexual means and when I told her, she got kind of quiet and was thinking and she was like “…I never knew there was a word for that. I think that’s what I am too” and it is so important that labels and terms exist, not to force them on people, but for people to finally have a word for who they are.

10 costumes for Marvel Future Fight

I’m a pretty big fan of Marvel Future Fight, it’s a fun beat um up with Marvel characters that’s free. I’ve personally never had to spend money but I’ve been playing from day one so I am pretty sure people who haven’t will have to spend money to progress eventually. I want to give an honorable mention Angela’s Queen of Hel Outfits, as of writing this she just has a lot so I don’t know what one I would want to be made into a costume, I imagine the queen one works but we’ll see.

Virginia: Virginia is Visions wife in the new Vision comic and she or either of his kids could make an awesome alternate costume for the not so human hero. The comic is very popular with it’s readers making many people’s favorite book at Marvel. It’s so strange and it be a cool way to promote it.

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes Wasp: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes ended far too early but the stand out from that show to me was Wasp. Seeing the version from the show get a costume would be best.    

Black Suite Daredevil: I am shocked this one didn’t get added in with  it being the main costume of the Daredevil Netflix show. I think it could raise doge rates or something for the character and I think it’s one of the few costumes that totally need to happen for the character.

Mayday for Spider-Gwen: Mayday Parker will likely never be worth a slot in future fight given she likely will never have her own series or movie again. Still she is the female character with the longest running solo series. So it’s a great idea to take the new hotness and give her a throwback to the coolest Spider-woman of the past.

Mania for Venom: I can’t think of many other cool versions of Venom but it’s never a bad idea to expand the number of female characters in a game so why not give Mania a go in this. She is from the Flash Tompson venom and would never get to be playable given the sort of low level hype this character has. Still she is really bad ass and I think she could work well inside the normal venom moveset but then again I’ve hardly read anything with her in it. 

ANAD Mockingbird: Mockingbird’s new outfit is really cool and with it adding wings it could add a cool extra feature to Mockingbird as well. I mean look at the cool design with her getting her own book finally she should be able to slip into that outfit.

Classic Luke Cage: Classic Luke is just way too Iconic to not be in the game. Plus he doesn’t really have very many other choices given his normal wear is just normal clothing. I really like this costume plus it’s what he wears in that iconic I’m already rock hard baby panel XD. 

Hoggie Jessica Jones: This would be a really funny costume paying tribute to the netflix series. Jessica Like Luke doesn’t really wear any “Iconic” costumes but she did have this funny number and it be a really cool shout out.

Lawyer She Hulk: She Hulk doing law has happened in many series now. She needs a lawyer outfit to bring the law down on this game. It’s a really cool look for her and it will let people who don’t know much about her understand one of the biggest parts of the character.

Loki Agent of Asgard/ Goddess of stories: Okay so this one is hard because I adore Loki and I would love to see every look that the Agent of Asgard Series had for them added into the game. Goddess of stories look though is the coolest one of them all. Awesome genderless costume design that  really pops and marks Loki freeing herself from his fate.

Probably the most specific weird AU I’ve spent extensive time thinking about is the one where Jessica Jones is working a food service job, and Luke Cage is making some extra money by being a secret shopper, and after about a minute of talking to Jessica, two things are very clear: 1) this is the coolest woman he has met in a long, long time, and 2) in a rare case of Luke siding with management, this woman desperately needs to be fired from any job that requires her to interact with customers.

A day after Luke comes in, he gets a call on his cell. “You got me fired,” Jessica says.

“How the fuck did you get this number?” he replies, not quite as mad as he thinks he should sound.

“You wrote it on the form where you called me aggressive, unhelpful, and quote, ‘weirdly threatening.’”

Luke’s one hundred percent certain she was not supposed to see that form. “You tracking down my personal information so you can berate me is not making me rethink that assessment.”

“This isn’t me berating you. You’ll know when I’m berating you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Because you’ll like it.”

Luke laughs. “Maybe I would. What the hell was a girl like you doing at a shithole chain anyway?”

“What’s a guy like you doing getting girls like me fired from shithole chains?” she asks. Luke isn’t sure himself.

“Let me get you dinner,” Luke says instead. “You can yell at me in person.”

“You’re paying,” Jessica replies.

“Course I am,” says Luke. “I’m traditional like that.”

“Good. Cause some asshole got me fired. Really cut into my spending cash.”

When Luke pulls up to the curb Jessica’s waiting at, she’s still wearing her work uniform, a garish button-down flecked with ketchup and coffee. With the streetlight washing her out even more than the fluorescents in her former workplace, she looks like Snow White coming down from a bender. She finishes off her cigarette like she’s angry at it and says, “Nice ride.”

“Nice shirt.”

“Fuck off,” Jessica says, but with a smile, and she gets on the motorcycle behind him, her arms sliding around his waist with a surprisingly strong grip, and Luke can honestly say that he’s never been happier with his job.

@exitiumparit liked for a starter

Trever was a little bit graceless as he flopped onto the couch in Chyla and Rel’s apartment. It was kind of nice, talking to her, at least most of the time, ‘cause she got off work late sometimes and Trever was morally opposed to a normal, diurnal sleep schedule.

Also, she was the second coolest adult woman in his life, so sometimes he could go to her about things that he wasn’t sure he could go to some of the others about.

“Can I ask you a question?” he asked, staring at Chyla from where his head had landed. “About girls.”