cool snakes

3

Corn snake (Pantherophis guttatus)

The corn snake is a North American species of rat snake that subdues its small prey by constriction. It is found throughout the southeastern and central United States. Their docile nature, reluctance to bite, moderate adult size, attractive pattern, and comparatively simple care make them popular pet snakes. Though superficially resembling the venomous copperhead and often killed as a result of this mistaken identity, corn snakes are harmless and beneficial to humans. Corn snakes lack venom and help control populations of wild rodent pests that damage crops and spread disease.

photo credits: wiki, wiki, wiki

max has been in town less than a week. like, four days at the most. how has he already turned into 

this cool guy when he has done so many weird, weird things? like, he did some weird things.

acrobatics? in math class???

he got deputized

fought in school, to which everyone was like

did this whole “i’m in a really cool snake forest but no one else can see it so they look at me like

this.”

is he extorting a teacher???? his classmates wonder

confronted a strange tooth-filled beast in the school hallway

did some more acrobatics

got blackmailed by someone in the middle of gym

broke both his arms 

had this conversation-

in front of a group of his peers

look at all those hands. the hands of people who watched him psycho-analyze a known tyrant.

okay technically none of his classmates saw these but look at what he’s doing to the administration

he had this talk with lisa in front of a crowd of people

and that’s a lot of people to yell at lisa in front of

and, of course, he did this:

he played the recorder. 

how could anyone think this kid is cool?