cooking leftovers

Fancy tuna fish salad
  • 2 cans of oil packed tuna
  • 1 jar of pesto
  • pre-sliced black olives
  • fresh spinach
  • crunch (I usually use celery, but that requires chopping, so you can add something else or skip this)
  • bread

Dump the tuna into a bowl without draining and mush with a fork.  Mix in pesto until it’s pretty well coated.  Add in black olives and your crunch.  Serve in a sandwich with a few spinach leaves.  This should be enough for 2-3 servings unless you’re really hungry.

The notion that kale is some expensive white people food makes no sense tbh like you can get a big ass bunch at walmart for $1.18 and i basically lived off of ramen, kale, frozen corn, and vegetable broth cubes (about $4.50 a week at most) for a few months becausebit was cheap, quick, and easy but still had vitamins. Like the whole two years my sister worked at Edible Arrangements they used it as the base to hold the skewers in place (like florist’s foam) because it was cheap enough to be used as a throwaway basically while being non-toxic/food safe.

I need your help.

Hey guys. So. I know you all probably have seen a lot of these and you’ll probably scroll right past this, I can’t really blame you, I usually did the same. But even a little help will go such a long way. Right now I’ve made it back to school in New York, I’m away from the depression, anxiety, and poor health as a result, of my hometown. I’m actually healthy both physically and mentally at the SAME TIME for the first time in seven years.


Right now, I’m living with my amazing boyfriend (of now over two years!) and everything has been going right. Except for money. We live in the cheapest apartment complex nears our schools, we don’t eat out, we cook and make the leftovers last longer than we probably should, we budget, and we both work as many hours as we can while still attending school.



It’s not enough though. We there’s not enough to cover the monthly bills while also being able to eat and cover those little expenses that pop up. I’ve been living off of cheap bulk Mac and cheese for a week, for twice as long I’ve been walking around with a literal hole in my shoe.



So please. Help us stay here. Help me stay somewhere I’m finally healthy and where my boyfriend doesn’t need to be around his homophobic parents.



I can do almost anything witchy you might want. My strongest skills are SIGIL MAKING, any sort of SPIRIT WORK, and TAROT. Please contact me if you want to purchase a sigil, a custom conjure spirit companion, or a tarot reading or really anything else you’d pay for. PRICES ARE PAY WHAT YOU WANT! Of course I can’t do anything for free right now but you make what you think is fair (or more if you’re feeling generous and are in a position to spare) and that’ll be the price.



If you can’t spare anything I more than understand, it’s your money and you might very well be in the same sort of situation I’m in now. But if you can I hope you’ll consider. Even a reblog would mean a lot to me. Thank you all ❤️❤️❤️

Ginger sesame noodles

(makes 4 servings)

  • ¼ cup low sodium soy sauce
  • 1 teaspoon grated ginger (dry - found in seasonings aisle of grocery store)
  • 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 4 cloves garlic, finely minced
  • 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
  • 3 tablespoons sesame oil
  • 4 tablespoons oil (rice bran, olive, canola etc)
  • 2 tablespoons water
  • cooked noodles of your choice

Stir together all ingredients, except the noodles. Pour the sauce over the noodles and toss to coat. Serve, garnished with chopped spring onions and a side of steamed brocolli to make it healthy.

4

Food Journal Day 174, for the 29th of August 2017! These noms were:

Breakfast: Banana, apple, blackberry, ginger, carrot & raisin porridge with nuts (almonds, walnuts, hazelnuts, cashews & pistachios), seeds (linseeds, sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds & chia seeds), powdered banana, blueberry & cranberry.

Lunch: Leftover kidney bean chilli, vegan spaghetti bolognese, spiced rice, vegan jambalaya rice, corn on the cob, pasta with pesto, roast broccoli, pickled chillies, pickled mushrooms, salad (lambs lettuce, beetroot, red chard & ruby red chard) and a sourdough bread roll.

Dinner: Cauliflower steaks with sesame dressing, courgettes in tomato sauce, baba ganoush, rice and salad (iceberg lettuce & cucumber).

Supper: Diced frozen strawberries with blackberries, pumpkin seeds and crushed nuts (cashews, almonds, walnuts, pistachios & hazelnuts). This was a bit of a rush job because I wanted to watch something on tv that clashed with my prep time, and while nice, wasn’t as nice as it would have been if I’d had half an hour to make it presentable (also I should probably have blitzed it, but oh well) :P

Restaurant style hummus

Ingredients

  • 2 cups dry chickpeas
  • 3 bay leaves
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • ¼ cup tahini
  • salt to taste
  • juice of one large lemon 
  • ¾ cup of ice!

Steps

Chickpeas

  1. Soak the chickpeas for 24 hrs changing the water at least twice
  2. Wash and drain the chickpeas
  3. Cover with fresh water (3 inches over) add the bay leaves and baking soda
  4. Bring to a boil, lower the heat and cover
  5. Cook for one hour or until the chickpeas become very soft and easy to mush

Hummus

  1. Let the chickpeas cool completely
  2. Blend the chickpeas with all the ingredients until very smooth
  3. Taste and adjust to your liking
  4. Garnish with extra chickpeas and paprika or cumin
My Best Friend’s Sister (Part 2)

Originally posted by a-winchester-by-choice

Summary: The reader gets to know Jensen more at work but he wants to know what’s up with the Padalecki siblings…

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x reader (with sibling!Jared)

Word Count: 3,400ish

Warnings: language, sibling angst

A/N: I adore giggly Jensen…


Keep reading

cheesy waffle tots

you’ll need:

how ya make it:

  1. spray both sides of waffle maker with your oil spray.
  2. place tots in single layer on the waffle maker. they’ll get a little squished once you close the waffle maker so leave a little room around the edges for when they flatten.
  3. sprinkle a generous layer of shredded cheese on top of the tots. 
  4. turn on the waffle maker and close it! i give these a food 8-10 minutes to cook based on the heat level of the waffle maker. once steam stops coming out of the sides, they’re basically done.
  5. take out your cheesy, savory waffle and enjoy!

the cheese gets all crispy in the cooking process, while the tater tots get warm and soft. it’s a super yummy combination!

you can treat these waffles like a baked potato and cover ‘em with all kinds of toppings:

  • chili
  • sour cream
  • chopped chives
  • spinach
  • hot sauce (highly recommend cholula!)
  • more cheese (why not?!)

these are super easy to make, inexpensive, and you can make a few to reheat throughout the week for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. 

Hybrid! Park Jihoon

masterlist can be found (here)

warnings: mentions of violence and swearing
genre(s): hybrid! au // angst, slight fluff 
a/n: this was a request from my ask game but I decided to turned it to a full length fic instead ^^ dedicated to @porkjeojang bcs it’s been the longest time since I wrote something for sum T^T 

“People fall in love without reason, without even wanting to. You can’t predict it. That’s love.” 

  • As an avid animal lover, you hated how the world viewed hybrids
  • They were treated as nothing but toys for human pleasure and it made you sick as no matter what circumstances, they still bled and felt pain like us
  • You got angry whenever you watch a tv program of people selling these supernatural beings because once they were sold, the owner could do whatever they want with them
  • There wasn’t any law from hybrid abuse or stopping laboratories from exploiting them from various experiments 
  • It wasn’t right for them to be treated like slaves, or to be tortured for having abnormal features
  • Or even worse, to be called as monsters since they were born this way, they didn’t choose to grow up miserably 
  • It saddens you when you realized throughout their entire life, they will never receive proper love and care unless they are lucky enough to meet a nice owner
  • If you had the money, you did choose to do something, make a difference but still, you were only a university student juggling their studies and having a social life
  • You had been walking home from the library when you heard a loud, boisterous laughter coming from an alley
  • You could’ve chosen to ignore it, as it was usual for one of those people who were way too drunk to make a ruckus
  • The place you lived was rather shady but for the price you were paying your rent, you had a decent amount of space to yourself and had extra money left for other spendings besides grocery and the bills 
  • But then again, it was only 4pm in the afternoon, it just didn’t add up together
  • It also didn’t sound like a friendly voice but one that held a mocking and hideous tone which only hinted something bad was taking place
  • You braced yourself for whatever it was and went closer to the source
  • If you wanted to call the police, the least you could do was to be a witness and have an image of the culprit in your mind
  • It seemed the person was too distracted or perhaps having too much fun
  • Seeing how they never noticed you when you attempt to creep quietly, hiding discreetly behind the dumpster
  • You wondered what was causing the noises and whimpering but you nearly gasped out loud when the scene in front of you started playing out
  • A lanky male seemed to be attacking a person smaller size than him, who was on the ground, choking blood
  • “Stand up kid, I know you can still move! Your nasty kind doesn’t die so fucking easily!”
  • Watching as the stronger person continuously landed punch after punch in the other’s face was a disgusting sight
  • It was excruciating to watch him trying to uselessly defend himself and you soon had enough
  • You decided to try using the oldest trick in your book, it was risky but hey, there wasn’t much you could do at this point
  • Worse come to worse, you could just use your pepper spray and try to sprint the hell out of that alley
  • Punching a button on your phone, the police siren blared out from it and you shouted at the top of your voice that the police is here
  • The culprit didn’t seem to suspect a thing as he swore loudly and ran off 
  • You thanked the heavens it worked but you were frozen in your steps when you saw him turned back and shouted again
  • “Did you call the cops, you worthless shit? I’ll come back for you again, bunny!”
  • Was he talking about you? It didn’t make sense to use such a nickname on the boy you were approaching
  • But when you stood in front of the injured boy, you realized he really wasn’t talking about you as you started at the bunny-like, pink ears that were stained with blood
  • Why was a rabbit hybrid like him doing on the streets?
  • A hybrid like him from your knowledge, was worth a lot of money since they were obedient and weren’t a species who would try to escape despite how badly treated they were by their owners
  • “What’s your name?”
  • “..Ji…hoon…”
  • The rabbit boy muttered weakly and you decided not to waste the efforts you put for gym class the last few weeks as you push your sleeves back
  • You told him back your name and you could hear him whispering it and you continued on, telling him that you are only here to save his life
  • He was clearly far too weak to refused any help as he made no attempts at attacking nor stopping you
  • You hooked his shoulders around your back and hailed a taxi
  • The taxi driver took one look and muttered ‘kids these days’
  • You acted like you didn’t hear it as you gave him the address to your apartment 
  • You were aware that hybrids healed relatively quicker than humans so you chose not to go to a hospital 
  • Instead heading to your own apartment where it was the least likely place for someone to hide what you could tell was a wanted hybrid 
  • Going somewhere public would most likely capture lead to Jihoon being sold or be used as a test experiment
  • It was just going to be a repeat of the same process again and seeing how he seem to trust you, you didn’t want to take the risk
  • Once you reached your apartment, you placed him on your bed 
  • You would’ve bandaged his wound but he already shift and curled himself up like a ball as a rabbit
  • Jihoon was unconscious the entire time but you knew it’s because hybrid went through a process of ‘hibernation’ in their animal form to heal all their wounds
  • You took the time to think what you had to do with him in the living room 
  • Even if he was sleeping, you wanted to give him his space
  • You didn’t really think of the consequences when you brought him back since hybrids suffer from the heat and whatnot
  • But there was just no way you could leave him back on the streets as you remembered the look he last gave you, the pleading gaze that screamed to be saved
  • The more you thought about it, the sleepier you got and soon, you were dozing off on the couch
  • Waking up to something soft and fluffy wasn’t in your plans but you had a rabbit snuggled to your chest
  • In order not to wake him up you giggled softly as you gently stroke his fur which was so soft, almost like a ball of cotton
  • Jihoon had a pale pink, almost white shade of fur while his ears had a red undertone to them and his eyes were a light brown, hazelnut colour
  • You didn’t want to wake him up but looking at the time, you had to prepare dinner for two and also simply because you were starving as hell
  • “Change to this alright?”
  • You place a change of clothing beside the bunny as you heated up some leftovers and cooked rice
  • Jihoon was already at the counter waiting for you to freshen up as he stared at his bowl of food, his wounds seemed to have healed nicely as if he was never touched by anyone yesterday
  • No wonder people are so curious about their abilities, you thought to yourself as you glance over at him
  • You watched him finished his rice in mere seconds without touching any of the side dishes, even gulping down the scalding bowl of hot soup 
  • “Do you want another bowl?”
  • “No.. no it’s okay. I’m already full.”
  • Despite him rejecting your offer, you sopped the urge to roll your eyes as you could easily see through his lie and immediately went to refill his rice and soup
  • This time, giving him double the amount he had just now and making sure to pile his plate with all the side dishes you made
  • If only you knew the poor boy hasn’t been eating for days, you would probably have given him the entire box
  • In his mind, Jihoon was telling himself to trust you as this was the first kind gesture someone had ever done for him
  • Not only that, you had gone out of your way to save him, a mere species like him who didn’t have their own rights
  • His kind hated all humans but he felt himself slowly warming up to you
  • Every time he made eye contact with you, his heart was accelerating so fast like he had just come back from a run
  • You let out a breath of relief after receiving an email from your lecturer that your morning class the next day was cancelled 
  • But something else caught your attention
  • It was the news on a hybrid with the code #1102 that had escaped from a laboratory which was in your district and that people were asked to report if they have any clues
  • Sneaking a peek, you opened your mouth to break off the awkwardness surrounding both of you
  • It was time for some question and answer so you could give him the help he needed
  • “You don’t have to answer if you feel uncomfortable okay?”
  • Jihoon looked curiously at you as he blinked his doe-like eyes
  • “Are you the one who escaped from the lab recently? If you are worried, I swear I’m not going to turn you in. You have my promise for that.”
  • He nodded hesitantly and although you were curious, you decided not to ask for more, just a nod from him was already a progress
  • But after glancing around and making sure no one was listening besides you and him, the bunny seemed to have made up his mind
  • He spoke about how he witnessed his brother being killed by the latest freak experiment humans were testing out 
  • Knowing the horror of it, he forced his way out but ended on the streets where he soon met you 
  • Without knowing his backstory, you would never guess that someone with such delicate and ethereal feature had gone through so much or how someone would willing to lay a hand on him
  • Jihoon was dressed in one of your outfit you had ordered online
  • But the company had screwed up your order by sending you a much larger size but yet they seemed to fit him perfectly
  • The sweatpants were just above his ankles and the shirt sat perfectly on his shoulder
  • Ever since he left the lab, he had been in the same clothes which he hated
  • He was never addressed by his name but the code #1102 and it was also printed on his sleeves, just like a prisoner
  • So you calling him by his name made him felt accepted and that he was normal 
  • “Your ears are cute, can I touch them?”
  • If not for his ears and his bunny teeth, he looked just like someone your age, preparing for classes and joining club activities
  • Still, you tried to be as careful as you could around him because god knows what he had been through even if he was the same age as you
  • But Jihoon only smiled and said yes, which was gone as fast as it appeared
  • When he was younger in the lab, the scientist will sneer at him and try to snip off his ears, calling them ugly
  • Hearing you compliment them made him feel better and his cheeks pinked when you ruffled his hair and felt his ears
  • And his ears were honestly the softest thing you had touched 
  • Seeing it twitched the slightest made you chuckle, as it was very much real and not one of those headbands you did purchase on an impulse in an amusement park
  • “Thank you for everything but I should go now.”
  • “Where are you going to go then?”
  • “…. I haven’t thought about it yet.”
  • He replied honestly and while the sadness in his eyes showed painful, untold stories, you were drawn to it, wanting to unravel them beneath the layers
  • Biting your lip, you decided to take the risk, your apartment could most definitely fit another person after all
  • On another note, you were worried for his safety, what would happen to him once he left your place? 
  • While you still had the chance, you were going to try your best to help him
  • “You can stay here with me … but only if you want to, it does get lonely living alone sometimes.”
  • You were probably the world biggest liar at this point because you have been perfectly fine living alone for the past two years
  • But seeing his eyes lighted up and his smile,,,,, made you want to lock it in your memories forever as it was just so precious
  • “Wait really? Are you being serious? Can I?”
  • You laughed, seeing the child-like expression he carried which you made you wanted to protect him 
  • His grin made you had the urge to reached out and smoothen his messy hair that stuck up in odd places
  • “Uh huh, for as long as you want.”
  • Jihoon was taken aback at how kind you were, from saving him earlier to treating him like an actual human being
  • You gave him a place to sleep, something warm to wear, gave him breakfast and now you were offering him somewhere to stay
  • Blood rush to his cheeks the more he thought about it and his heart warmth up at the thought of having a place to go back to where he no longer would feel lonely
  • Change was something he vowed to have when he left and you could be his first step
  • To your surprise, Jihoon suddenly went up to you and attack you with a kiss you on your cheek
  • Making you drop your spoon in your bowl of rice and almost giving you a heart attack
  • “ahhh it’s just the rabbit way of saying thank you.”
6

Making burritos! I used the leftover filling mixture from my stuffed peppers to fill spinach tortillas, folded them up in parcels in a baking dish then made a tasty tomato sauce with haberno chillis, to cover them over before baking topped with some chopped Swiss cheese

9

Jikook Social Media AU

Evanescent 2/?

Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, both famous actors, shocked the nation when they revealed their long-time relationship to the public. Five years later and they’ve become icons to the LGBT community in South Korea. What the public doesn’t know is that they broke up 6 months ago and are now faking their relationship so as not to damage the image they’ve helped build for their community.

EDIT: I had someone ask if it was Jungkook talking to Namjoon and yes! It is him! I should have clarified that on here but I totally spaced it. Sorry to anyone who wasn’t sure! I’ll keep an eye out for mistakes like that in the future! <3

When Jimin steps through the door he’s greeted not by a soft kiss from Jungkook and a freshly cooked meal, but cold leftovers and the sound of Haru, the puppy they had gotten shortly before breaking up, scratching at Jungkook’s door to come see him.

He drops his bag on the floor, rubbing at his shoulder as he kicks the door shut and shuffles inside. The scent of the leftovers washes over him but the thought of eating right now just makes him sick, so he makes his way toward the sound of skittering claws instead.

Keep reading

mercenaryselena  asked:

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a retelling of the birth of Hermes and the fight he gets into with Apollo for stealing his cattle?

OK, so I put this up to a public vote and this myth was by far the most popular choice, so here we go. If people don’t want to read a myth about a mouthy child prodigy stealing his half-brother’s cows, then press J on your keyboard now as this is going to be a long post. More info under the Read More, as always!

The story starts, as all good stories should, with a woman giving birth in a cave. The woman in this instance is Maia, who is giving birth to Zeus’ baby, because approximately 70% of all babies in Greek mythology belong to Zeus. Once she’s popped the baby out, she’s like “well, it’s time for a nap. Hermes, watch over yourself” and then she’s out like a light and Hermes is left to stare at the walls or something.

After a few hours, Hermes gets really bored with living the baby lifestyle, and so he decides to absolutely subvert the infant hegemony by immediately learning how to walk. Like the freakish genius baby that he is, he escapes from his swaddling and toddles all the way down to Pieria, where he finds a whole field of cows. Immediately, he’s just like “sweet, I’ve always wanted a whole field of cows” and starts stealing them. Being a complete genius, he realises that he has to cover his tracks, so he finds a whole load of cow-sized boots that are presumably just lying all about the place in Ancient Greece, and he puts these boots on the cows and leads them away to a little town called Pylos. As soon as Hermes has left, Apollo saunters into the field where he keeps his favourite cows, and when he notices that they’re gone, he drops to his knees dramatically and cries “I will have my vengeance, in this life or… well, the same life, thank goodness for immortality!” and he sweeps away in a haze of sunlight and glory. 

Once he’s at Pylos, Hermes hides all the cows in the grotto, when his little tummy starts rumbling. Apparently forgetting the fact that he’s a newborn baby and absolutely should not be on solid foods at this point, he decides to slaughter two of the cows as a sacrifice, and then he cooks up the leftover meet with a little sage and probably some mixed herbs and a lovely red wine roux. While he’s waiting for the meat to cook, he finds an adorable little tortoise wandering around outside the cave, and immediately he’s like “awesome, time to continue my sociopathic spree of animal slaughter” and he kills the tortoise and cleans out the shell, stretching some of the cow hide and tendons across it, and bam, he’s invented the lyre. After playing a few prodigal ballads on his rad new instrument, he decides that he’s tired and it’s absolutely time for a little nap and maybe a burp or two, and so he waddles back home to Kyllene, where Maia, who is definitely not up for the mother of the year award, doesn’t even realise that he’s been missing and is covered in cow entrails.

Meanwhile, Apollo is doing some absolutely stellar detective work, probably whilst wearing his special detective hat, the one with the blue ribbon around the brim which brings out the cornflower hue of his eyes, because no-one steals Apollo’s cows and gets away with it. Seething with rage, he goes into the heart of the town of Pylos, and to the first woman he sees, he’s like “look, this is probably a really strange question, but have you by any chance seen a shitload of cows?” and the woman nods, briefly dumbstruck by Apollo’s jawline, and she says “this is probably a really strange answer, but I’m pretty sure I saw a baby leading a really well-organised line of cattle wearing shoes right through the heart of our fine town” and Apollo blinks and he’s like “shoes” and the woman says “yes, without socks” and Apollo says “a baby” and the woman nods and says “a human baby” and Apollo frowns and says “are you sure it was a baby and not just a tiny bald man?” and the woman shakes her head and says “it was definitely a baby, I don’t usually get confused between my infant son and my withered grandfather” and Apollo just sighs and says “well, that’s really thrown me for a loop, I have absolutely no idea who this nefarious baby could possibly be” and the woman is like “judging by your cheekbones, I would say that you’re probably a god, so why don’t you just use your whole divine science mojo and get it over and done with?” and then Apollo blinks, briefly denying the woman a glimpse of his azure gaze, and he’s like “that is the best idea I’ve ever heard from a woman, I will do just that”

and so, Apollo taps into his super special psychic abilities, and immediately he’s like “that goddamn little shit, I should’ve known it would be a devious child of Zeus that did this, honestly all of Zeus’ kids are just so terrible and badly behaved, he’s like a walking advertisement for vasectomies” and the woman is like “but aren’t you a child of Zeus?” and Apollo just pushes her to one side and he’s all “quiet, woman, I have a baby to physically overpower” and then he’s off to Kyllene to fuck an infant up.

At Kyllene, Hermes is sitting in his crib, being really adorable and cherubic and basically the epitome of everything a non-criminal baby should be, when Apollo bursts in, stark and handsome against the bright light outside the cave, and he’s like “arrest that baby! I have reason to believe he has partaken in a bovine conspiracy” and Maia is like “you are aware that he is literally three hours old?” and Apollo nods sagely and says “it’s a bitter pill to swallow but the worst kind of criminals start young, now hand that baby over and no-one gets hurt, except probably that baby” and then Hermes opens his little rosebud mouth and says “you’ve got the wrong man, Apollo, this is madness” and he smirks wryly and Maia’s mouth just falls open and she whispers “I’m getting Mensa on the phone right now” but Apollo ignores her and hisses “you won’t get away with this, Hermes, your one man crime spree is over” and Hermes just snorts and he’s like “dude, I’m a baby, you won’t convince a jury” and Apollo narrows his eyes and says “we’ll see about that, sunshine” and then Hermes just says “no, you’re sunshine” and then Apollo leaves to go and do the mature thing, which is to call their dad.

When Zeus arrives, Apollo is like “you have to do something, my incredibly recent half-brother has stolen all my favourite cows” and Zeus sighs and he’s all “can’t your mother fix it?” and Apollo is like “his mother isn’t the same as mine, dad, jeeze, I just said he was my half-brother” and Zeus blinks and he’s like “oh yes, of course, you’re my son. Haha, I totally knew that, son. Let’s go and sort this out, son” and Apollo is like “please stop calling me ‘son’, it’s weird” and Zeus is like “I agree, we will never speak of this again” and they go into the cave.

Immediately, Hermes just throws his little pudgy hands in the air and says “whatever Apollo says I did, I didn’t do it” and Zeus narrows his eyes and says “you’re both more verbose and defensive than the average baby, aren’t you?” and Hermes is like “what can I say, I got some traits from my dad” and then they make finger guns at each other and Apollo just starts banging his head against the cave wall and says really wearily “my cows, dad” and then Zeus clears his throat and tries to arrange his face into a serious expression and says “son, what’s all this about Apollo’s cows?” and Hermes is like “I didn’t steal them from under his nose and sacrifice some of them and turn one of them into a lyre and plectrum” and Apollo just shouts “I can’t believe what I’m hearing!” and Hermes scoffs and says “then fix your hearing, I just said I didn’t do it” and Zeus is like “you totally did it, didn’t you” and Hermes has the grace to look a bit bashful as well as proud and says “yeah, I may have very slightly done it” and Zeus beams and turns to Apollo and he’s like “are you kidding me? This absolutely fantastic baby of mine managed to steal your cows and invented an entire musical instrument! This is better than the time I stole a human male with the promise of cups” and Apollo just whimpers and Zeus sighs and he’s like “right, Hermes, let’s stop your brother’s bitching once and for all. Show me where you hid these cows” and Hermes whines “but daaaaad” and Zeus is like “no buts, I am putting my foot down and temporarily assuming the role of a father figure” and Apollo is like “you are literally our father” and Zeus says “for the next few hours, yes” and before Apollo can make a pithy rebuttal about parental responsibilities, Hermes is leading them to Pylos.

As soon as they get to Pylos, Apollo just runs over to his cows and starts hugging them, murmuring things like “don’t worry, papa’s here, no-one’s going to hurt you now” and Zeus looks at Hermes and says “he’s getting a bit Pasiphaë over this, isn’t he?” and Hermes is like “yeah, I’m starting to worry that he’s going to try and get revenge on me somehow” and Zeus takes him to one side and says “between you and me, son, I think you should apologise” and Hermes is like “I literally cannot do that, it goes against all my ethics as a spoilt brat, but I guess I could give him that sweet lyre I made from the flesh of his pets” and Zeus is like “that’s an excellent idea, son, we’ll make a diplomat of you yet”. So, Hermes goes over to Apollo and gives him the lyre, and says “no hard feelings, bro?” and Apollo just blinks and asks “what is that?” and Hermes is like “well, I tore the skin off your favourite cow and made it into this really beautiful instrument” and Apollo is about to start screaming when Hermes just holds up his hands and says “we can get into the ethics of that later, but first, here’s Wonderwall” and he starts playing a really haunting melody on this fantastic instrument, and when he’s finished, Apollo just blinks and says “I want it” and Hermes is like “if you promise to put this whole silly thing behind us, then it’s a deal” and Apollo is like “put what whole silly thing behind us?” and Hermes is about to clarify when he sees that Apollo is making a finger gun at him, and Hermes rolls his eyes and makes a finger gun back, and Apollo says “bro” and Hermes says “bro” and then Zeus is like “sons” and they all just hug it out in the beautiful scenic fields of Pylos.

And then, many months later, Zeus promotes Hermes to the role of his personal herald and messenger, because nothing says ‘employee of the month’ quite like juvenile petty theft.

My other retellings can be found here; my dedicated mythology blog is here; and my Mythology Mondays Facebook page is here. The latter two links also allow you to follow my progress in writing a whole actual book. Thrilling.

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Easy vegan nacho cheese

  • ½ cup soaked cashews, overnight or at least a couple hours in warm water
  • 2 T nutritional yeast
  • ¼ t salt
  • ½ t turmeric (optional but helps with color)

plus

  • ½ of a 7 oz can of green chilli’s (3.5 oz which I measured out as about ½ a cup) most, but not all liquid drained out
  • ¾ cup of salsa, spiciness to your desire

OR 

  • 1 small de-seeded red (or your favourite color, whatever!) bell pepper, chopped
  • 1 cup salsa

equipment:

  • blender
  • measuring spoons/cups
  • utensils 

Instructions:

Soak your cashews either over night or for a couple of hours in warm water. If you have a really fancy high powered Vitamix or the like you apparently don’t have to soak. Add all the ingredients to the blender. (You can either use a fresh bell pepper or canned green peppers, whatever is on hand. Just note the adjusted salsa amount to ensure the correct amount of liquid.) You will probably want to stop partway through blending and scrape down the sides. Blend until creamy consistency & it’s ready to go!

Serve on nachos, quesadillas, in burritos, mac & cheese for a southwestern take, or honestly whatever.

This stuff is great. I’m vegetarian not vegan but made this the first time because I was craving nachos and didn’t have cheese. I’ve now made it a bunch of times. This can also be kept in the freezer if you need it to last longer than 3-4 days. Otherwise, keep in the fridge. 

4

Food Journal Day 139, for the 25th of July 2017! I dined upon:

Breakfast: Banana, apple, ginger, carrot & raisin porridge with nuts (walnuts, hazelnuts, almonds & cashews), seeds (chia seeds, pumpkin seeds, linseeds, sunflower seeds & sesame seeds), powdered banana, cranberry & blueberry. So, I caved today and decided to go back to soy milk, despite prior ramblings where I said I wouldn’t. What swayed me more than anything else was the fact that, as a vegan, it’s extremely important to have a reliable source of Vitamin B12, which you have to get get from fortified foods or supplements, as it only occurs naturally in foods from animal sources. When you look at the the labels of many non-dairy milks, you’ll find B12 has been added, and that’s very much for the benefit of people like us, so we don’t develop a deficiency. As much as I loved the one I made, it’s good to have a kitchen staple that fills that role, and gives me peace of mind :)

Lunch: Leftover veggie burger, spaghetti in tomato sauce, stuffed pepper, roast carrots, roast broccoli, couscous, cucumber & beetroot salad and regular salad (spinach, chard, red lettuce & green lettuce).

Dinner: Dal with rice, onion bhaji, green beans, sliced cucumber & salad (red lettuce, green lettuce, chard & spinach).

Supper: Banana, nectarine, grape & clementine nice cream with crushed nuts (almonds, cashews, hazelnuts & walnuts) and slivered almonds.