cookies to anyone who gets the reference

Hey moho

Sssssssso, I wrote a tomtord oneshot, or more appropriately a smutshot and I think it’s really cringe so I thought “hey why not let your favorite tumblrist judge it-” so here- 

It was a request I’d gotten on Wattpad for Two Tords one Tom

———————————-

“Experiment Complete.” The robotic male voice rang out across Tord’s lab, causing a ringing in the communist’s ears. “Status?” He spoke loudly as he removed the small tube from his arm. He was working on a cloning machine, and was giving some of his blood for DNA. Because one Tord just isn’t enough.

The robotic voice answered. “Cloning Successful. Open hatch to proceed.” Tord did just that, walking over to his newly built Vault-like machine. He entered the code 24602 (Anyone who gets the reference gets a cookie), and turned the knob. As he opened it, smoke billowed out, rising and disappearing into the air. Tord held his sleeve to his mouth, coughing into it and waving his other arm to clear away any remaining steam.

“Holy shit.” He murmured… but he didn’t. Someone that sounded like him did. Tord looked up, moving his arm from his face. He was in the machine… well… his clone was. Real Tord clapped his hands together as he stared into his own eyes. “It worked! It really worked!” He laughed. Clone Tord stepped out, laughing. “Of course it did, you’re Tord! No, We’re Tord.” The two laughed, shaking hands.

“Welcome to the world, me.” Real Tord smiled at…himself. The clone put up finger guns, laughing. That’s when it got kinda weird, because they started talking in unison.

“Hentai!”
“Pizza!”
“Giant Robot!”
“Classic Stupid Tom!”
“Oh my God, he bit off his arm!”

They were both cracking up laughing, two Tords echoing each other’s laughter. “Oh wow I’m a genius!” Real Tord wheezed. “Can you imagine the look on Jehovah’s face if he saw me?” Clone Tord shook his head smiling. R Tord (R for Real, C for Clone) Turned, shutting down everything in his lab to reserve power. “Let’s get to our room, hm?”

C Tord nodded at him. The two Tords left the lab, and after R Tord locked it up, they headed into their room. Tord always made sure to hide it, the lab, if any of his friends knew about it… nothing good would happen from it. They both sat on the bed, laughing and smiling. C Tord already knew everything R Tord did, so every conversation went smoothly. That was until the talk on Tom came up.

“Jehovah’s can’t know about you-” R Tord cut off when he saw the smug grin on his clone’s face.

“You mean cute Jehovah’s…” The clone wiggled his eyebrows. R Tord blushed furiously, but he couldn’t deny what C Tord was saying. After all, he was him. That makes sense right? He was right, he did see Tom as… fairly attractive.

“Do you think he knows you- I- uh.. we stare at his ass whenever he’s not looking?” The clone smirked. “I hope not.” R Tord copied his smirk.

Suddenly C Tord had an idea, clapping his hands together. “What if he did know about me? We could let him know how we feel~” he sang the last word. “I’m not sure but….I’m listening.” R Tord hummed.

“Well… You know how you’ve always wanted to fuck his brains out?”

“Ok you make it sound more intense than it is.”

“No, that’s the exact way you’ve always thought it.”

“Hng… shut up.”

“But anyways, what if we did? Think about it, two Tords, one squealing Tom moaning and going crazy for our dicks-”

“Ok ok ok stop! He’d never allow me- us to touch him. Especially like that.” R Tord huffed, subconsciously wiping the drool from his chin.

C Tord leaned closer, his arms crossed. “Since when have we cared? And I’m sure we’d get him in the mood.”

R Tord paused, thinking about it.
C Tord groaned, rolling his eyes. “This could be your only chance to touch him!”

Finally, R Tord nodded, “Fine. We’ll do it.” He couldn’t help smiling. “You go get him.” C Tord said, standing up. R Tord got up, heading for the door. “I’ll be back.”

The real Tord went out, heading to the Black-eyed male’s room. He opened the door without knocking causing the Brit-sitting on his bed and practicing his music on his bass, Susan-to screech. “KNOCK NEXT TIME!” He yelled, chucking a pillow at Tord’s face. The Norwegian caught it, “Alright, I’m sorry! Anyways, I want you to meet someone.” Tord made sure not to smirk.

“Tord, I swear to Jehovah how many times have I told you anime girls are not real?”

Tord bit his lip, but this wasn’t the time to argue over that. “No, he’s a living cl- person.” He quickly corrected himself. Tom raised an eyebrow, looking clueless. Of course.

But nonetheless, the brit stood up, groaning. “What have I got to lose?” He grumbled. Tord coughed, deciding not to answer that. He led him into his own room, where his clone was no where to be seen. Tord guessed he was hiding. Duh-

“Take a seat.” He pointed to the bed, where Tom went and sat like ordered. The shorter male looked bored and annoyed. “Now this is going to freak you out, but please try not to scream.” Tord said, holding up his hands. Tom simply crossed his arms, looking at him. That was until C Tord decided to come out of the closet. Literally. The black eyed Brit, once he saw him, gave a small shriek. “Ok, what the fuck? Tord I’m seeing double, why are there two of you?!” He scrambled back against the wall as Tord’s clone approached him slowly. R Tord hummed, walking towards the now-shaking Jehovah’s.“Tom, meet… me. I cloned myself!” Both Tords sat on the bed, both chuckling in unison. Tom flattened his back against the wall, looking freaked out and…kinda scared.

C Tord leaned and grabbed Tom’s arms, pulling the startled male onto his lap. “Well we were right about one thing for sure.” He spoke calmly as he held onto Tom’s waist. Tom tried wriggling from the clone’s grip, but Tord, clone or not, has always been the stronger of the two. “He is cute.” The Tords nodded, scooting closer to one another. Tom looked at them both, blinking several times. “Care to let me go?” He snapped with a glare. “Not yet… we want something first~” C Tord murmured, standing up and turning.

He laid Tom on the bed, where both Norwegians climbed up and hovered over him, staring down with equally smug looks. Tom looked up at them both, his chest heaving. “Do you know how long we’ve wanted to touch you~?” C Tord made the first move, slipping his hand under the Brit’s shirt and hoodie, sliding it up over his stomach and chest. “And how long we’ve wanted to hear just what noises you can make~?” R Tord leaned down, rubbing his thigh and kissing his neck sweetly. Tom stuttered, unsure of who to look at or what to say. He knew that Tord had a dirty mind but he never would have guessed he’d do something like This!

“Overall, we want to be… inside you, Tommy..” C Tord murmured, causing the Brit to sharply inhale. R Tord softly bit into his neck, drawing a small noise from Tom. “So why don’t you let us have our fun, hmm~? It’ll feel really good~” They both hummed, kissing different parts of his neck at the same time. Tom groaned, both hands reaching up to grip their hair. “F-Fine… but no double penetration.”

Neither Tords decided to ask him how he knew what that was. R Tord smiled, nodding and pushing his shirt and hoodie up and pulling them off the male beneath them. C Tord took Tom’s pants and boxers, stripping him of the last bits of his clothes.

Tom wasn’t always proud of how feminine his body was, but it sure seemed to work for the two dominating men. Well, the dominating man and his clone. “Oh fuck it’s perfect!” Tord exclaimed. Tom didn’t know which one was the clone, but did it really matter right now? Either way, he was basically about to get fucked by his tolerated housemate… and his clone. Fuuuuun.

It was quite interesting for Tom to hear the next string of words from the two Tords’ mouths.

“So i guess I get the ass?”

“No, your the clone, you get the mouth. Ok?”

“But it was my idea to fuck him!”

“Mm…no, I existed longer.”

“Fiiiiine.”

All of that made Tom’s face turn redder than.. something really red, like a tomato or a red hoodie.

“On your hands and knees, Tommy~” R Tord instructed, slipping off his shirt.

The Brit did as he was told, grumbling to himself as he flipped over and positioned himself as instructed. After both Tords removed their clothing, one, Tom guessed was the clone, came up in front of him. He sat on his knees, leaning down so that their faces were levelled. He didn’t say anything, just leaned in and kissed him. No warning, no words, just dove straight in. But… Tom was surprisingly ok with it. So he kissed back, his eyes fluttering closed as he felt Tord’s hand softly cup his cheek. It was actually kinda nice, the way this Tord didn’t demand for attention and didn’t try shoving his tongue in like Tom theorized Tord would do in a kiss.

He was relaxed until he felt a cold pair of hands on his ass. He squeaked a little, and the Tord kissing him pulled back slightly, grinning at the Tord behind him. Tom shivered lightly as R Tord massaged his ass, his breath hitching as he felt a finger get pushed into his entrance. “Wh-what-”

“Shhh…” The real Tord rubbed his side with his free hand. “It’s preparation, you’ll thank me~” he purred, moving his finger inside him slowly. Tom shivered at the feeling, letting out a small noise as R Tord added a second finger. It hurt a little, of course. But nonetheless, it felt kinda good. It was like… a good pain.

It wasn’t long before the original Norwegian was thrusting his fingers back and forth quickly. Naturally, this caused noises, many noises, to come from the Brit. He squeaked and moaned, shaking violently. Since he’d never felt something inside of him before, to him this was almost heaven.

“Clone!” R Tord looked at C Tord hastily, who was watching Tom’s pleasured face.

“Hmm?”

“Shut him up, what if Edd or Matt hear him?” Real Tord scissored his fingers apart, biting his lip. C Tord nodded, lifting himself up and, without a word, pushing his member into the Brit’s mouth.

(*pauses the smutshot*Minor A/N, I know most Tomtord Smuts have Tom with No gag reflexes, but that idea originated from the real Tom’s 7 facts video, and so I’m not going to add that small detail since it’ll feel like I’m putting the character and the person too close together. Ok? ALRIGHTY LET’S KEEP SINNING-)

Tom’s body tensed up immediately, his eyes wide. The clone ran his fingers through his hair, slowly rocking his hips back and forth. “It’s alright, Tommy~ now be a good boy and put your mouth to work~”

Tom made a small sound, nodding slightly as he rolled his tongue around the object in his mouth. The clone groaned softly, his fingers twitching in the smaller male’s hair.

The Tord at the back pulled out his fingers, deciding he was prepared enough. Wiping his hand on the bed, he gripped onto Tom’s waist and rubbed his erection against his ass. “I’ve wanted to do this for a looong time~” he purred, pressing his tip against his hole.
Tom’s body trembled, choking when the clone basically shoved his dick into his throat without warning. Tears poked out of the corners of his eyes as he gagged and tried pulling away. All of it sent vibrations up C Tord’s body, causing him to moan and tug on his hair until he was merciful enough to pull back slightly.

R Tord let out a small groan as he finally started to push himself into the Brit. The preparation had helped, but he was still pretty tight. When he finally got the head in, Tom stiffened up with even more tears streaking down his face. He whimpered in pain, rolling his hips and trying to get comfortable. The Norwegian continued to push, his grip tightening on his hips as he finally managed to get inside completely. The male beneath the two was already a mess, whining and moaning against the clone’s cock. (Hhhh-) R Tord allowed him to adjust, rubbing his sides affectionately. C Tord was already fucking Tom’s mouth, thrusting his hips back and forth and forcing the brit to take all of him.

Finally R Tord couldn’t wait any longer, and started to thrust. Mind you, he didn’t start slow. He just went straight to the pounding, turned on by every little noise Tom made. Tom screamed and whined, his hands clenched into fists. The two communists thrusted in sync, when one pushed forward, the other pushed in at the same time, vice versa. Though it slightly hurt, Tom found himself loving it. His hips bucked and rolled as he struggled to control himself, finally putting his mouth to really good work and sucking C Tord off. The Clone’s reaction came quickly. “F-Fuck…there you go, Tommy~!” It was almost like he were cheering him on.

R Tord grunted quietly as he tightly held onto Tom’s hips and slammed forward as quickly as the tightness allowed. “You love this, don’t you?” He growled, leaning down slightly so that Tom could hear him. “You like getting fucked senseless on both ends? Hmm? Little slut~” Tom only moaned in response, his eyes closed.

“I’m… I’m close..” C Tord was barely able to finish the short sentence before he shoved his tip down Tom’s throat and came. Tom gagged and pulled at the sheets with his fists as he struggled to swallow it and breathe at the same time. The cloned Norwegian finally stopped, pulling out slowly. When he was out, Tom coughed multiple times, spurting semen everywhere on the sheets from his mouth and his own dick. Yes, he came as well.

Soon enough, R Tord finally reached his peak, leaning down more to hug Tom, bury his teeth into the screaming male’s shoulder and shove himself in as far as he could. He rolled his hips slightly, filling him up with his cum and sucking on the bit mark, causing a hickey to form. C Tord bit his lip, watching Tom’s eyes flutter slightly as R Tord pulled out. The Brit, once R Tord let him go, collapsed on his side, panting and occasionally coughing up tiny drops of remaining seed.

“Fuck that was amazing..” R Tord huffed, lying down and pulling Tom up comfortably against him. He spooned the smaller male as C Tord laid down on the other side of them. Tom, sandwiched between them, nodded slightly with a yawn. It was peaceful enough… until R Tord remembered.

“Did I…?” He sat up, his eyes widening as he saw a very pissed and flustered Edd standing in the open doorway.

Tord had forgotten to close the door.

“Fuck.”

- Moho says: holy FUCK
LB Gets Woke: A Bullet-Point Crack Fic

I told @luciemiddleford​ how I would really like there to be a rival for Chat Noir’s affections in upcoming seasons.  Not like another superhero or akuma, but a normal civilian who notices how freaking awesome this cat is and makes Ladybug have to work for Chat’s affections.  Her reaction was something along the lines of “oh HELL yes” and she planted ideas in my brain, guys.  IDEAS.

I’m not a fanfic writer.  Brytte is, but she refused to turn her ideas into a fic.  Half of the blame for this goes to her.  Maybe 75%….no, no.  68.2%.

Seeing as how this glorious honor has been entrusted to me, you can guess where this is going.  Y’all should know my M O by now.


Chapter 1: The Not-So-Epic Beginning of an Average Relationship

  • Chat Noir and Ladybug Save the Day™
  • LB leaves and a civilian approaches Chat
  • Let’s call her…idk Marie-Suzanne 
  • because she’s French, you see ¬‿¬
  • she doesn’t want an autograph or anything
  • she just wants to make sure he’s ok and thank him for saving her sister
  • she has shoulder-length caramel colored hair with grey eyes that look like twin storm cl–
  • –what?  That’s been done…?
  • crap
  • ummmm….she looks like Jane Q. Public
  • that better?
  • …dammit I should’ve gone with that name…
  • ANYway, Chat is touched that some rando citizen cares about his well being
  • after blushing enough that it’s a miracle he’s still alive, they part ways…for now

The romance(?) continues after the cut…

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Closure || 1/?

Next> | Last>>

a.k.a. tiny salad thief and the feels train of reforging Caladbolg.

OH BOY HELLO FRIENDS.

First page get!  I may rename it (such creative name waow), and it’s going to be a long, melodramatic feels train with Ive and Trahearne, but ayyyy.  We’re going to try and stick to a schedule and see how out of hand this behemoth gets.  I may change the title, but I’ll be putting this out a page at a time, hopefully 1-2 a week unless life happens.  What have I done

Page 1 random facts: Ive doesn’t have the classical glider, but ad infinitum is annoying to draw (multiple times).  In the same vein, Bo is in place of Nevermore since Nevermore would be obnoxious and awkward for any action sequence.  And I’m lazy.  

Additional edit: Bo is slung the opposite way that staves usually are in-game because Ive, although trained to be ambidextrous, is dominantly left-handed.

Truth and Tears

Characters: teen!Dean x teen!Reader

Words: 1834

Summary: the Reader finally gets the truth from her mother, and got more than she expected.

Part 9 in Emotions Series. Part 1 here, Part 8 here.

Here we go- the climax! There are still more parts, so don’t worry about this being the end. And there’s a small twist in here too. ;) Anyone who can tell me where the Hellboy reference is gets a (virtual) cookie! LEt me know what you think, messages just saying what you liked or what you’re excited for make my day! Enjoy everyone!

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