cookie--dan

february 2017 - dan and phil

2/12

first week (1-7): still up on the isle of man for phil’s birthweek! phil goes on a pleasant walk on the beach. accompaniment confirmed by dan howell (and martyn and cornelia). dan fell or something while trying to be an aesthetic hoe (a sprained wrist and knee? sorry my honeybee). dan posts another pic from iom and i don’t know why i’m crying in the club right now? (also he posted a flop of it on twitter…whatever). phil liveshow! (highlights: birthday present haul includes cool shoes from martyn, sock book, rewined candle, cool beetle jumper from parents, sushi gummies from dan (nostalgia from tatinof uk), firefly on blu-ray, terrarium, big lava lamp from dan, basically just spent a lot of time walking on the seaside and stuff for his bday celebrations, dan falling was hilarious and also genuinely concerning, “He’s a tall guy so it’s a long way to fall,” magic 8 ball predicted that a dog is on the horizon ???!!!!???!!!, if he does anything interesting he’ll do more day in the lifes??!!!!?!). another seaside walk picture plz stop. new gaming video: Dan vs. Phil: QUICK DRAW! phil gives us a relaxing video of the lava lamp dan gave him. nailbaiting occurred by phil. dan and nathan zed interacted and i ascended. phil takes pictures of dan a lot and dan likes posting them (aka dan lays on the floor trying to script). new danisnotonfire video: MY EVIL PIANO TEACHER (aka dan playing the piano thank god). phil still has jingle bells stuck in his head. dan liveshow! (highlights: sweaty and sensual dan ://, they help each other film because setting up tripods is for losers when you have your own person, they cried laughing filming the piano video, dan was excited about this sext marcus butler sent him from this video but then realized it was a joke, phil’s birthday week has extended until forever, dan dramatically fell and talked about it for five minutes, has hamilton tickets, he might rebrand to Dan Howell on youtube wow plz, he went to the dentist :/). 

second week (8-15): dan and phil hang out with zoe and meerkats as her wish for make a wish foundation! new gaming video: IS IT PAINFUL TO DIE?! - Dan and Phil play Google Feud #2. phil liveshow! (highlights: dan got phil a signed nude of david boreanaz, when they saw manchester by the sea a man tripped into dans popcorn oops, wow! there were three gas leaks in their house! it’s like the universe is trying to say something! *cough* move, if there are more gas leaks they will have to leave the house for three weeks and they would probs go on holiday…japan plz.., phil has pretty houseplants with pretty flowers, he bought a fluffy coat, loved the meerkats, petbaiting). cute australia pic (i wish i was that kanga). new phil icon which has effectively made me dead? (also accompanying pic) new gaming video: DIL GETS A FREEZE RAY. dan gets wet and sticky with phil in phils bedroom. new amazingphil video: Dan and Phil PASTEL EDITS IN REAL LIFE! (i dont know how to feel? i have been overwhelmed). also dan calls phil hubby but like not really but also really and… why. phil wishes us a happy valentines day with a sloth. dan liveshow! (highlights: i don’t really know dan destroyed gender roles and wore a grey wig and a flower crown and tried to scrape off his tattoos just watch the video plz). another australia selfie :( another belated birthday meal for phil but he ate moss that was attached to his drink (is he just gonna keep turning 30 forever jeez). 

third week (16-23): phil’s parents come to london to visit (no phil liveshow) but during their next liveshows they confirm they saw book of mormon again with the in-laws *cough* parents. new gaming video: IS THIS THE END? Dan and Phil play THE IMPOSSIBLE QUIZ! #6 (twas a good one). there are seagulls outside phil’s windows (side note: hector aka shitty watercolour made a painting of it and the livestream of it was good not that anyone cares). phil spent his weekend watching time lapses of cats when they are home alone. dan threw an entire salad out (aka his agenda to force phil to eat pizza and not get healthy even though phil has signed up for the gym and gone jogging i hate him). new gaming video: HORSE BOYFRIEND SIMULATOR?! - Dan and Phil play: My Horse Prince. phil is a bad lurker irl #confirmed as he tried to watch a couple argue but it didn’t work out that well. dan said chicken instead of ordering coffee at starbucks and now he can’t go to that one anymore. also on the same day someone spotted dan and phil out on a bus wow. dan and phil were watching a property show (moving? stay woke) and saw their merch. dan liveshow! (highlights: pastel beanie: on, curly hair: worn, dick: out, i am forcibly removed from the liveshow, he said chicken because of the cow and chicken theme song stuck in his head what a weirdo, he has a cheeky idea for a video thats important but not really and he doesnt know if hes ready :), he has realized he could murder someone because he just spaces out aka the salad event, they forgot to paint their nails and put in earrings for the pastel edits video wow thats great, asmr, he loves moonlight thank god, he and phil play sing star and are only good at toxic and muse, his reblogs on tumblr don’t mean anything, he had a very long shower). phil keeps buying weird things for their home. phil liveshow! (highlights: storm doris, had a haircut in his house again and it goes without saying dan got one too, liveshow haul, he froze younow is philphobic, seven exo planets and countless universes! phil is so smart, final fantasy is too long for dapg, excited for the oscars, and then that’s it because phil likes to keep his liveshows short). 

week four (24-28): oops i counted the days wrong this week is too short, dan is a sad pimp, new gaming video: BATTLE OF THE BALLS - Dan vs. Phil: Golf With Friends. phil had a cozy day and ate cookies. dan believes moonlight should win for best film as it is the most important (thenks dan howell for my life). phil tries to stay up for the oscars but fails and dan lets us all know. “at least i didn’t fuck up as hard as the 2017 oscars envelope guy”, new gaming video: DIL BURNS THE PANCAKES - Dan and Phil Play: Sims 4 #36, dan didn’t have a liveshow because younow was broken

a nice month. what in februation

  • Hansung: So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4000 degrees for 1 minute.
  • Dan Se: Hansung nO THAT'S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES
  • Hansung: FLOOR IT?
  • Dan Se: HANSUNG NO
  • Hansung: HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND
  • Dan Se: HANSUNG YOU ARE GOING TO BURN THE HOUSE DOWN
  • Hansung: I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE SUN TO MAKE COOKIES
  • Dan Se: HANSUNG PLEASE
Christmas with Dan

Christmas with Dan would include:

Baking cookies with Dan aka a perfect little disaster

“Dan you can’t eat all of the dough already!”

(we have all seen the baking videos) but the cookies always taste delicious in the end

lots of Christmas decoration

(so much that no room in the flat doesn’t look super festive)

getting excited when it snows

(like freaking out and running outside in just pjs)

going window shopping

“are you cold, baby?”

“maybe a bit”

him rubbing warmth into your hands and warming your cold cheeks with kisses

Dan in a beanie

drinking lots of tea and hot chocolates with marshmallows

Dan observing you when he takes you shopping to know what he should get you

visiting your families

“one can never have enough Christmas jumpers”

wrapping lots of presents

(dan really needs your help with that. left handed, remember?)

“oh is that a mistletoe?? I totally didn’t see that. What a convenience!”

“Dan, you are literally holding that thing above our heads. .., okay, fine. Kiss me you dork”

lots of lazy days in bed, just cuddling

(c’mon it’s so cold outside and it’s so warm in bed)

dan in a freaking beanie, again!

getting Phil all kinds of stupid presents

you decorating the lower half of the Christmas tree while he decorates the top half because you can’t reach

“why do you always get to put the star on top?!”

“here, let me lift you up, baby”

lots of cheesy Christmas movies

cooking Christmas dinner with Dan (a little disaster again)

playing games with Dan’s family on Christmas Eve

 waking up on Christmas morning just as excited as when you were ten

singing every Christmas song you know together

him getting you exactly what you wanted (+ self- made coupons for back massages)

“Merry Christmas, baby.”

“Merry Christmas, Dan.”  

A/N: Merry Christmas from me! It really is the most wonderful time of the year. This is a little present 🎁 for you. I hope you like it (it can’t be returned haha) I also hope you have a super lovely day. 🎄💕
Pretend

[read on ao3]

genre: fluff!!

word count: 5.3k

warnings: lil bit of swearing i think

extra tags: reality, gettingtogether, friendstolovers, firstkiss

summary:

-

“Hey Dan,” Phil said suddenly, gripping his mug as he holds it under the coffee machine, his face lighting up in the way it does when he’s finally gotten the take on a video. “What if,” he says slowly, savouring the words in his mouth. “We pretended, just for one day, that we had no idea who the other person is?”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm looking for a fic where Phil invites dan to come to his family's for Christmas (or maybe it was fathers day or mothers day or something like that??) and at first he says no and is sorta angry because he doesn't want to be looked down upon because his relationship with his parents isn't great but then he goes and all else I can remember is that when he's in Phil's his dad calls and he has a fight over the phone with him and Phil's family hears it. Please help, Thanks!

Fortune Cookies (ao3) - Dan goes with Phil to celebrate Father’s Day with the Lesters, and suddenly all his complicated feelings about his own parents come bubbling to the surface.Basically 11k words of Dan being angsty and the Lesters being wonderful.

- Tori

Coffee and Calligraphy- Part 8- Plans and Presents

Part 1

Part 7

Word Count: 721

A/N/: I’m sorry this is really short and really bad I’ve had horrible writers block for the last few days. I swear the next chapter will suck much less. :(


Dan wakes up alone in the bed, and for a moment he forgets where he is. Realizing it’s Phil’s flat, their flat, he sits up and heads downstairs to where Phil’s eating the Crunchy Nut Dan brought with him when he moved in the day before. “Phil!” He looks up from the box, from which he’s shoveling cereal into his mouth with his hand. “I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you again. It’s my fucking Crunchy Nut!” Dan snatches the box from Phil’s hands, pouring the remaining cereal into a bowl. There’s only about half a serving left. “You little shit.” He sits down at the table and eats the cereal. 

Phil sits down across from him. “You’re not actually mad, are you?” 

“Mildly. But it’s fine. It’s not like I’m going to break up with you over my box of Crunchy Nut.”

“Good, because we need to start planning the wedding.” Weddings take months to plan, which they both know. They want the wedding to be as soon as possible, so they need to kick it into overdrive. 

“You’re right. But where do we even start?” 

Phil thinks on this a minute. “We don’t have any friends, do we?” 

“Not exactly…” Dan chuckles. “Do we really need a big wedding?” 

Phil hesitates. “I guess we don’t. We could just have it at my parents’ house! They live right on the sea, and it’s beautiful. Only a few people will be invited, and we can spend the money on dolling up the place.”

Dan smiles. “You know, I’d like that.” 

“It’s a start.” 


“I want red roses,” Dan pouts.

“Why do we even need flowers? We’re outside!” Phil rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time.

“Flowers are a tradition!” 

“So is wearing white.” 

It’s now Dan’s turn for an eye roll. “I don’t like white, and you know we’re far from the innocence it represents.” 

Phil lets out a laugh. “Okay, you got me there.” He sighs. “Why are we fighting? We haven’t agreed on anything since the venue! Our wedding is supposed to be a joyous time. Not the time of us screaming about colors.” 

Dan smiles, agreeing. “You know what we should do with the money?” 

Phil raises an eyebrow. “What?” 

“Hire a planner.” 

They both smile. “Agreed.” 


The date of the wedding approaches quickly. Mostly because they planned it for Valentine’s Day, which was only two months away from their first conversation. In the meantime, Christmas rolls around and they head up to Phil’s family’s house to celebrate and scope out their wedding venue. 

“Hello, hello, Dan, Phil!” Phil’s mom opens the door for them, welcoming them in. “Dan! It’s great to finally meet you! It’s been so long! Well, it really hasn’t been that long, has it? We all understand the rush.” She smiles weakly, having finished her awkwardly long greeting. 

“Hello, Mrs. Lester.” 

“Please, call me Mom.”


Dan and Phil race down the steps like children on Christmas morning, quickly followed by Phil’s brother Martyn. Phil’s parents are already wide awake and sipping coffee. “I guess you kids are ready for the festivities?” They all nod and the five head into the living room, where the Christmas tree and their presents reside. 

“Phil, this is from me to you.” Dan picks up a small box and Phil tears off the wrapping paper. Inside the box is a golden ring. “I didn’t quite think it was fair that I get a ring and you don’t.” 

“Thanks, Dan.” He pulls his fiance into a warm embrace, grabbing his own present to Dan. “Here’s mine to you.” Dan opens the box, which he finds very heavy for its small size, and finds a Crunchy Nut scented candle. 

“Oh my gosh, Phil. I didn’t even know this existed.” Dan laughs along with the family. Somehow, he feels at home.


Full of ham and Christmas cookies, Dan and Phil leave and head back home, chatting all the way there. Dan won’t stop saying he’s jealous of Phil’s family, and Phil simply tells him as many stories as he can about why he shouldn’t be. As they arrive home, Dan finally says what he’s been thinking ever since they arrived at the Lester household. “In a month and a half, I’ll be a true part of that.” 

“But Dan,” Phil says. “You already are.”

Scrooge Howell

Summary: Dan Howell absolutely hates Christmas. Although maybe he should’ve warned his new roommate before Christmas came, as now he was in the metaphorical equivalent to Christmas Bootcamp.

Word Count: 3.3k

Contains: Christmas

My other chirstmas oneshots:

-malevolent mistletoes: enemies to lovers drabble

-mistletoe miracles: christmas smut

-christmas can’t be cancelled: also christmas smut

-snowdin: not really christmas but totally cold be

-fireplace cuddles: same as snowdin

Keep reading

Things Dan can do:

  • Talk to mummies, see ghosts, literally work for Satan
  • Crash an alien spaceship
  • Fight an infamous murderer
  • Fight a yeti, and cause the entirety of Canada to die off
  • Talk to cats
  • Trick a well-trained government agent
  • Face a gang and live
  • Create a broccoli monster
  • Take down a real, living, dinosaur
  • Break through all government defenses and almost destroy the world over squirrels

What Dan can’t do:

  • Bake cookies 
Dan x Reader - Gingerbread Baking

Dan and I are sitting on the couch, with me on my laptop and him writing down the script for his new video. We both are kind of unhinged now though because we kind of lost focus. Whilst sitting my mind starts to wander and tastes bud flounder a taste for something sweet. I look over at Dan who’s now mindlessly watching the TV running finger circles over my hand while I ponder the craving.

I look up at him catching his attention
with staying, “I want to bake something.”
“Hm?” He looks at me confused at first and then shrugs with a small smile, “Sure,” I’m guessing in admiration of my silly spurted thought.
“But, I don’t know what to bake though, like I’m in the mood for cookies or brownies.”
I sit there thinking until Dan suggested, “How about gingerbread men?”
I think about it for a little bit, eagerly searching up a recipe on Google.
While I review the ingredients,
Dan says, “It’s a cookie but like a special holiday version.” He winks and I laugh, getting up to jump up on my feet in excitement.
“Let’s do it!” I rush over the kitchen and here Dan groan slowly walking over. I examine the shelves to see if we have the needed supplies, we do.
“Wait you’re serious? We actually have all the supplies and stuff?” He looks surprised as I nod excitedly.
“Yep! I have all the baking stuff and there’s enough to make them.” I cheer as my face lights up.

We gather the ingredients and begin blending them in, with Christmas music playing in the background. I roll out the dough as Dan grabs the gingerbread men cutters. After doing a few, I preheat the oven and come back to Dan sitting at the table cutting the remainder. I come over from behind him and help, but kiss him on the cheek first. He grins and turns his cheek to me. After we place them in the oven, we make the frosting. The yummy and sweet scent of ginger, vanilla and cinnamon flows through the kitchen. The heat is up, Christmas decorations are all up, and music is playing with cookies baking in the oven. Truly a festive night.

The cookies finish baking and offers to Dan get them out. The aroma is amazing and the cookies look delicious as well. We let it cool for a little and then begin to pipe the frosting.

“Look, I made you!” I hold up my cookie showing him. It’s a gingerbread man with Dan’s little hairstyle fringe in white frosting, along with his signature little smirk.
He laughs, “That’s amazing.”
After a few moments, he creates my hairstyle on the gingerbread and we chuckle. We continue along smoothly, both happy and content with our state and selves.

Dan and I sing along to all the songs and smile, whilst aimlessly frosting the cookies. Everything was peaceful and nothing mattered, just our company. Dan randomly stopped and looked over at me.

“You have a little frosting—” He leaned over taking his hand to wipe it off. His hand brushed softly against my lower cheek tapping off the white substance lightly. I do a quick grin and slightly blush, but it’s only for a spilt second. Before Dan can fully take his finger away, I stick out my tongue to lick the frosting off his finger. Now we both giggle, before smirking and meeting ours lips together. This went on for a nice amount of time.

I moaned in pleasure as Dan smiled slowing bringing his hands down to my waist after he ran his hands down. I sit down in a chair beside him and begin helping him with the frosting as well. We sang along more to the Christmas songs playing on the record player as our right hands held each other.

“Thanks for getting that frosting off me,” I conclude as we finish our up the gingerbread cookies.
“Anytime.” Dan walking over to me at the kitchen counter.
Then I see something come across him, as his demeanor totally changes becoming
more passionate, not that I minded.

He firmly comes towards me, not saying a word but I can feel what he wants. I’m what he wants. I then feel Dan’s hand grab my ass. He draws into me, our chests are close. I feel his breath as he lifts me up onto the kitchen counter. He practically throws his lips on mine and I oblige. His kisses are dominant and strong, his thirst glowing, leaving me flustered in all the best ways. I rub myself up against on our kitchen as he’s trying hard not to push me up against the wall.

After awhile, he can’t stand it anymore and wraps my legs around his body to lift me off. We don’t go far just to the kitchen wall. I feel my hands up in his back as I feel like I’m in an amazing state. His jaw still over my neck as we embrace, me getting pinned to the wall. Dan was intensely aggressive, but careful not to shove me although the passion must have made it somewhat tricky.

Finishing our session in the kitchen (who knew we’d would’ve had a session in the kitchen), Dan decides to make us both some hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows. I pack up the cookies for later and grab the few we are taking with us to the lounge. I leaned into Dan’s grip as we held our mugs and gingerbread men. We peacefully chatted as Dan ran his hand through my hair, with the fire lightly burning.

By time the night ended, we were both curled up with each under the coziness of blankets, hands and bodies intertwined. We nearly finished our hot chocolate, both of us almost falling asleep as we were in cuddle position. The gingerbread cookies we made were deliciously sweet, but something else we made that night was much much more deliciously sweet.

Why Dan being Bisexual is my Headcanon

1. In the episode The Family Camping Trip Dan stops everything just to discuss about how “Dreamy” and “Strong” he thinks Colby is.

2. Dan speaks Old English sometimes, yes? But… he only speaks that way to Females… and Chris!
In the episode The Salvation Armed Forces he sends Chris a letter about his plan in Old English, in the episode Burgerphile he speaks to Hortense this way!

3. He knows fashion! 
(yes i am aware that this sounds like a stereotypical gay thing but just hear me out) Dan really knows how to dress and what looks good! 
In The Wedding he is aware about how bad his makeup looks, in New Mexico he comments on how stupid the lady’s hat looks (and i think we can all agree that it was pretty dumb) and also in The Wedding (assuming that he chose his suit) Dan looks pretty damn good.

4. The way he is with Chris…
admittedly, this one is a bit biased because i am Buddyshipping Trash, but in a lot of episodes Dan’s attitude changes when he’s with Chris, he admits that he’d be nowhere out him and he’d never leave him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want Chris to marry Elise???

5. He said NOTHING when the Impostor called him Adorable!
Normally, Dan would most likely rant about how he’s not cute “he’s manly as hell” but in the episode The Telemarketer he also called Dan a “Man-Cookie” which Dan also didn’t comment on!

i dunno, it’s just my own opinion on the subject of Dan’s sexuality… what do you guys think?