cookie stealing

When my godsister and I were kids, her parents got this wolf-shaped cookie jar that howled whenever the lid was opened to prevent her sneaking her hand in and stealing cookies.

I couldn’t wrap my head around why they got that cookie jar in the first place. Sneaking just wasn’t her style. It was my style - I’d wait for the perfect opportunity to strike, create a diversion, plot three excuses in case I got caught, and attempt to calculate the maximum number of cookies I could steal at one time without rousing suspicion and where I could store them safely until I was ready to eat them.

My godsister, on the other hand, was the sort to walk up to the cookie jar, shove her hand in, and stuff her face while staring at you defiantly, as if challenging you to stop her. What are you going to do? The cookies are already in her mouth. They’re hers now. She’s won.

I guess it’s no surprise that she became a pro kickboxer and Muay Thai champion.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS MADE OF?

Aries:
The PASSION of a five year old that really wants to steal a cookie out of the cookie jar.
The CHARISMA of a potato. A charismatic potato.
The INTENSITY of an earthquake, rocking your world and your house since before years were a thing.

Taurus:
The STUBBORNNESS of a child that refuses to eat their broccoli and will cry until their parents let them leave the dinner table.
The COMPLEXITY of doing algebra problems without a calculator.
THE DEPENDABLENESS of that one friend who always tries their best to not let you or anyone else down.

Gemini:
The IMPLUSIVENESS of a middle schooler’s first kiss.
The FLEXIBILITY of a professional gymnast, constantly flipping and turning 360 degrees at a time.
The TALKATIVENESS of a child who just learned how to talk. You want to ignore them, but you can’t because they’re just so gosh darn cute. 

Cancer:
The CARE a teenager has towards their new phone for the first week of owning it.
The PASSIVENESS of someone who is always unaware of their surroundings, but for some reason always knows what’s happening around them.
The GENTLENESS of a shiny glass cup, one mistake and they can be broken right before your eyes.

Leo:
The DRAMATICNESS of an episode of pretty much every teen drama that has been on the air for way too long.
The EGO of celebrities, always inflated and is constantly validated by others, either negatively or positively.
The GENEROSITY of a teacher that decides to give the class another day to work on a tough homework assignment. 

Virgo:
The PERFECTION of opening a new book and smelling that new book smell.
The INDEPENDENCE of a tall and beautiful flower blooming in field full of dull grass and dirt.
The CRITICALNESS of a Gordon Ramsay that spends his life roasting people on twitter.

Libra:
The CHARISMA that Aries wishes they could have and 34 shades of more charisma on top of that. Loads of charisma.
The INDECISIVENESS of someone who really wants to text someone that they like, but doesn’t want to come across as desperate.
The PEACEFULNESS of feeling that everything is okay in life and being able to finally get a good night’s sleep.

Scorpio:
The EVILNESS of a villain that just wants to be understood in this complicated world.
The PARANOIA of someone that’s been hurt way too many times in another life and just came out the womb guarded.
The WIT of someone who just mastered the art of sarcasm and refuses to talk any other way.

Sagittarius:
The CURIOSITY of a child wanting to know where babies come from and will not stop until they get answer.
The HONESTY of a mom that always wants to make sure that her children look as good as she does when leaving the house.
The INTERESTINGNESS of that one strange toy from 5 years ago that you found while cleaning your room the other day.

Capricorn:
The AMBITION of a grandmother making food for her starving grandchildren on a Sunday afternoon.
The MATURITY of an adult who finally understands the concept of adulting and is pretty gosh darn good job at it.
The INTELLIGENCE of Einstein, but it may not always be used. Trust me though, it’s there. 

Aquarius:
The STRANGENESS of your cousin that everyone thought was going to be successful, but is now a professional hipster.
The REBELLIOUSNESS of a suburban teen who just discovered rap music times one hundred.
The DETACHEDNESS of someone who has not been able to find someone that they can fully trust yet.

Pisces:
The CREATIVITY of doubt and security dancing together in a flame of inspiration.
The INTUITIVENESS of a good friend that always knows when you’re upset and how to cheer you up.
The COMPASSION of sweet child who just wants to make sure that everyone around them is happy.

What The Signs Are Made Of?

Aries:
The PASSION of a five year old that really wants to steal a cookie out of the cookie jar.
The CHARISMA of a potato. A charismatic potato.
The INTENSITY of an earthquake, rocking your world and your house since before years were a thing.

Taurus:
The STUBBORNNESS of a child that refuses to eat their broccoli and will cry until their parents let them leave the dinner table.
The COMPLEXITY of doing algebra problems without a calculator.
THE DEPENDABLENESS of that one friend who always tries their best to not let you or anyone else down.

Keep reading

BatFam Headcanon 62

Alfred sets a strict one month grounding for anyone (including the entire Justice League, Teen Titans, Young Justice, and of course batfamily) that tries to steal his cookies before he says that they can eat them. Martha also has this rule for her pies.

Submitted By: Anonymous

~Masterlist!~

Percival Graves

You and Percy Boy Try (Key Word Try) To Pick a Christmas Tree

Percival Imagine

Percival x Male Reader

NSFW Headcanons!

You Get Done Like Paperwork

In the Rain

Totally Not In Love

Newt Scamander

Welcome to New York (Chapter One)

Welcome to New York (Chapter Two)

You and Newt Enjoy the Snow

Newt Tries To Steal Cookies and You Catch Him

You Show the Newt Your Writing

You Are Scared of the Dark and Newt Fixes All

Newt Is Scared of Needles But You Fix All

Some Spicy Newt Smut

Kinda Angst

Snowy Newt Imagine

Yer an Obscurial, Reader

Happy Angst Day!

Ooh, Reader Gets Jealous

Angst and Mentions of Suicide

Smuuut

Newt Gets Chicken Pox

Smoky Mornings

Sneezes and Chaos

Terrible Pick-Up Lines

Creatures!

Kissing Headcanons

Chocolate Time!

Hot Summer Nights

Dandelion Fuzzies

A Walk In The Snow

Credence Barebone

Credence NSFW Headcanons

More Than A Feeling

3

The true story of Asajj Ventress

or why she joined the Dark Side, what she was taught, and how she left.

… it was all for the cookies ^^

(Note: Be careful, they do have cookies on the Dark Side, but they’re not actually sharing them!! You need to steal them and then run for your life)

YES, I ship Ventress with cookies!! <3

I’m so happy I’ve finally finished this little strip :) Took me longer than expected but it’s done!! Yay!! \o/ 

Hello everybody, so I have an announcement to make (or as much of an announcement as I can muster, considering this is a very, very small blog). I don’t know if you knew this, but I’ve made every gif on this blog (yeah, that explains the quality). Well, this is going to be a busy week for me, so I am proud(?) to announce that for me this week is Steal Other People’s Gifs Week! That’s right, this whole week I will be bringing you gifs straight from the first page of a search for “john oliver gifs” on google. Sure, you could google that yourself, but if you don’t you’ll get to enjoy an entire week’s worth of new gifs stolen by yours truly. So happy Steal Other People’s Gifs Week, friends, and I’ll see you next Sunday for a new episode of Last Week Tonight. Praise be.

  • Mika: Okay who ate one of my chocolate cookies!?
  • Matthew: *pops head into kitchen* There's cookies!?
  • Mika: Ah-ah! These are for Naomi's birthday. Someone stole one while they were cooling.
  • James: *walks by* Honestly, Matthew, I thought your willpower was better than this.
  • Matthew: Wha-!? I didn't eat it!!
  • Mika: *grabs James by the shoulder.* Whoa there, and how do I know it was Matthew and not you?
  • James: Miss, please. You think I would stoop so low as to steal cookies from you? I respect your handiwork, you and I both know.
  • Mika: James...
  • James: If I had wanted one, I'd have asked for one. You don't believe me?
  • Matthew: *covering his mouth* Holy shit dude...
  • James: What?
  • Mika: *reaches up and wipes a smear of chocolate off his chin.* What were you saying?
  • James: ...
  • James: ...
  • James: Well shit.
flower shop AUs

based on things that have actually happened to me working at a flower shop:

  • “someone just died in your family and you came in to order some flowers for their funeral and you’re just crying all alone at the counter and I feel so bad I want to hug you” AU
  • “you keep coming in here and asking for a single red rose and you’re such a regular you just call me on the phone and I have it ready for you when you come in but I’m also very interested who you’re buying all these roses for?" AU (bonus: person B keeps wanting to give the roses to person A but gets too flustered so they just have vases full of roses in their house)
  • "I work here to make some extra money while I go to school and you come in every day, walk around the store, steal a cookie and then leave and I’m starting wonder if you have any food to eat at home so now I’m concerned for your health” AU
  • “the store is dead and I go in the back to water some of the dish gardens and I bust out singing so I don’t hear the door open but when I turn around I see you standing there watching me and you look so good and I’m such a dweeb how could this happen to me?” AU
The Hogwart Houses At Christmas

12 days of Christmas: day 2

Gryffindor
-Sitting around the fire place in the common room with friends and drinking hot chocolate.
-Wearing your Gryffindor scarf literally every single day during the winter months.
-Stealing Christmas cookies from the kitchen when the house elves aren’t looking.
-Snowball fights in the court yard.
-Going sledding down huge hills.
-Having a killer Christmas party the night classes end, and someone put candy canes in the fire whiskey and it actually tastes phenomenal.
-Making gingerbread houses.
-Watching Christmas With the Cranks and Elf.

Ravenclaw
-Learning about a bunch of really cool Christmas facts and legends beloved in different countries and religions.
-Big fuzzy socks while studying in your down.
-Instead of red and green your common room is decorated so intensely with blue, white, and silver that it looks like a winter wonderland.
-Still caring about school work but also giving yourself a break since it is the holidays.
-Being more subtle about your celebrating in public, but when it’s just you and your friends you go hardcore.
-Asking for so many books for Christmas.
-Celebrating/acknowledging other holidays because Christmas isn’t the only one.
-Watching the Polar Express and a Frosty the Snowman.

Slytherin
-Living for all the green used to decorate and being worn.
-Actually getting really excited when Christmas season starts but trying to chill because none of your friends seem to care.
-Until one night you’re all laying in bed and one of your friends blurts out into the silent room that she actually really love Christmas.
-Going all out after that.
-Getting confused for being a Hufflepuff since you’re so spirited, replying sassily and nobody makes that mistake again.
-Having a battle against the Gryffindors on which house could sing the Christmas songs the loudest. In the great hall the Slytherin table screaming All I Want For Christmas, and the Gryffindor table screaming Jingle Bell Rock.
-Convincing Snape to decorate his classroom, all he puts up is a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.
-Everyone expecting Slytherin to be super anti-Christmas, that couldn’t be more far from the truth.
-Only giving presents to a select group of close friends, the gifts are all really meaningful because the holidays is not a time to half-ass stuff.
-Watching The Nightmare Before Christmas and A Christmas Carol.

Hufflepuff
-Having the most awsome and festive holiday sweaters.
-Having so much Christmas cheer you feel like you’re gonna burst at the seems.
-Singing Christmas song in the common room and slowly everyone else in the room joins in.
-Wrapping Christmas lights around everything, the stairs case, the sofa, other people, the list goes on and on.
-Getting gifts for everyone you know and being completely broke afterwards.
-Making homemade cards with lots of glitter.
-Watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer.
-Big fuzzy blankets that like five people all cuddle under on the sofa.