This is bad for you, and you might die
- 1 big ol bag o dorites
- 2 libs of chicken, boneless strips
- 3 eggos beaten into a liquid
- Some malk splished into the eggo mix
- Blocka Cheese, grated (don’t use this yet, I recommend yellow cheddar or Colby jack)
- 1 Buttload flour
- Barbecue sauce
- Spices (cumin, cayenne, gorlic, adobo, bacono bits, whatever you like broesph, mix to taste)
- Olive Oil
Put all the chicken in a big old ziploc container with enough barbecue sauce to just flood it. Adequately cover all the chicken and close it up. Throw that bad boy in the fridge overnight.
Okay, now it’s tomorrow. Smash up the dorites until they’re all just dorite bits. You’re gonna want dorite bits to be super small, so they stick to the chicken, I mean, these are bread crumbs, you know? Throw it in a big old bowl with the spices and the flour. Mix it up evenly, but make sure it’s still able to stick.
Turn the eggs into a yellow mixture in a mediumish bowl. Splish some milk in there and stir it up. Should be a medium yellow. One by one put a piece of chicken into the bowl of yellow, make sure it gets all eggy, and then put them in the dorite crumb mixture. Coat it evenly and put it aside in a dish. Make sure to finish coating each strip before starting on the next one, we don’t need a disaster on our hands where all the chicken is in an eggy bowl at once.
Once all the chicken has been egged and coated in your dorite crumbs, go get a frying pan. Heat the oven to the lowest possible setting (we’re just trying to keep it warm). Put about ½ inch of olive oil in the pan and heat up the stovetop to like medium. Drop a few of the bread crumbs in there, when they sizzle, it’s time to chuck the chicken in there. Again, only put the chicken that will fit in, you don’t need to cook it all at once.
Cook the chicken in the oil (you should know how to do this, but if you don’t, the goal is to eliminate all the pink without letting it dry out like SOME PEOPLE DO, COME ON, GUYS) and set them aside as they finish on a big ole oven-safe tray on a paper towel so the oil gets soaked up.
Put the tray in the oven, but keep putting new chicken on it as you finish (you will need to open the oven multiple times to do this). Replace the chicken strips on the pan until they’re gone, and try to keep the oil levels consistent. Remove and discard stray dorite crumbs so they don’t burn in there, that would be bad, and you might die.
Once all the chicken is cooked, take the tray out the oven and remove the paper towel. Then getcha cheese. Sprinkle it evenly over all the chicken and put it back in the oven until it’s melty. Take it out, let it cool for like one (1) minutes, and serve.
Results: Juicy, delicious, overly plentiful, tastes like sweet baby ray’s and dorites.
Now clean up the damn kitchen so mama doesn’t get mad.