How to annoy everyone you know in 5 minutes or less.

Current Mood: Contemplative

Drink of choice: Uhhhh a lot of things.

Count: ????

I’m not doing politics. I’m gonna basically sum up the plot of shows I’ve never seen before.

Avatar series: Some bald dude with an arrow AKA the most ego centric person since Kanye gets a bunch of his friends together to fuck up China in the most convulated way to say that ego man is America nad his friends are Europe. Also has good representation I guess. Also the bald dudes mom is married to a girl? Which I’m happy about? All the bald dude is his mom? And there’s some weird fedora wearing group in the second series that wants everyone to be equal or some shit? But does it all the wrong way I guess. They tip their fedoras to bending atheism. Also bending did not mean genderbending and I was infinitely disappointed.

Dr. Who: Dude goes through time and space and spends a huge chunk of his time on Earth. Can reincarnate into anyone and always picks a white British man. This cosmic being has a blue police call box as a spaceship. Again. THIS COSMIC BEING DECIDED ENGLAND IS WHAT HE WANTED TO MODEL HIS SHIT AFTER. Apparently some guy named Moffat is a tosser. 

RWBY: Spelling is irrelevant, only sword guns from FFVII are relevant. Does not contain enough magnum gun for me to care? Apparently is better than sex and the second coming of Christ, but at the same time, worse than dead babies and Space Mecha Hitler. There’s an academy and they’re people and Kathleen Zeulch is in it too. Monty’s actual baby.

Hunger Games: Jennifer Lawrence’s quest to use a bow and arrows to take down a regime populated by the most fucked up people ever. Also there’s a bird and some weird death match with kids. Totally family friendly.

Harry Potter: Boy is The One. Turns out everyone else is a tosser save for the boy and his friends and everyone but the people who aren’t tossers.

House of Cards: Kevin Spacey’s autobiography.

Orange is the New Black: Better representation than your average liberal arts college. Also there’s a prison or something.

Parks and Recreation: the reason Aziz Ansari can’t tour all year long. Amy Pohler is a better Michael Scott than Michael Scott. Moustacheses. Fat Chris Pratt. A stereotype of the uncaring millennial.

The Big Bang Theory: Revenge of the Nerds for the people who thought that movie was too nerdy. 

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The only way we’d ever stop yelling at Marvel for murdering the FUCK out of best fucking character from the Avengers. MARVEL WHAT THE FUCK.

Marvel’s Agent Carter: Way better character than Captain America gets a show because she is way better than Captain America.