convolutes

Live Blog TWP Ep. 6

This week I had just over 5 pages of thoughts as I watched the episode.  The timeline has become so convoluted I just can’t.  I think I nit pick more at the historical side of things in this one (not comparing the historical story of Henry & Elizabeth of York to the show, but rather other historical aspects).  Enjoy!


IT”S BEHEADIN TIME BBY

The whole royal fam turned out for this thang.  The fact they’re all wearing the same clothes lets me know this takes place on the same day William was arrested…. Come on, I know it was the medieval times, but surely they had more than one or two changes of clothes in their wardrobe.  They are the king and queen after all.

Lizzie grabs his hand like “don’t listen 2 the haterz.”

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keepfaithbaby  asked:

What do you think will happen to Quil and Claire?

I think SM intends for Claire to grow up and for them to fall in love.  But I don’t think people really work that way? I just don’t understand how Quil can go 15 years seeing her as a little sister and then one day flip this switch and see her as a romantic partner. Likewise i don’t understand how Claire is going to be able to fall in love with a guy who was a big brother/uncle sort of figure in her formative years. With healthy people, she’d always see him as family and not have any romantic or sexual attraction to him. 

So I sort of developed a convoluted explanation for the imprint that addresses the passing on of genes thing and has a heavy does of Fate that SM likes so much. 

I like to imagine that Claire is gay. Quil has always been there for her, so he’s the first person she comes out to and he’s 100% supportive, but kind of confused because what does this mean for the imprint? Instead of a boyfriend he becomes her best friend and staunchest ally, and without the idea of a romantic imprint, he goes back to his flirty pre-imprint self and he and Claire go to bars together looking to meet girls. 

One night Quil hits on this girl who bluntly rejects him by saying she’s a lesbian, and Quil’s like… have you met Claire?  Claire and the girl hit it off, fall in love, get married (Quil is the best man) and start their lives together.  When they decide to have children, they ask Quil to be the sperm donor, and so the genes are passed on to the next generation as the imprint intended, just not in a way anyone would have imagined. 

And Quil either finds some girl to marry himself or he just stays a flirty bachelor forever and a fun, doting uncle/bio-dad to Claire and Mrs. Claire’s kids. 

anonymous asked:

So I have a question, the less then 90º fic title is referring to you body is a triangle. Which is a metaphor for your mind body and soul, so who is the mind who is the body and who is the soul.

they are all three all of them at once. nobody deserves to be reduced to any one aspect.

realtalk, the ‘your body is a triangle’ thing was just because it cracks me the fuck up every time i see lin’s face in that gif.

less than ninety degrees is referring to the fact that a triangle with all three corners measuring ninety degrees or less is an acute triangle. and usnavi/ruben/vanessa is a cute triangle.

(probably picked the one aspect of anything i’ve ever written that isnt a needlessly convoluted metaphor) 

the hogwarts houses at their worst
  • gryffindor: *in the hospital wing with two broken arms and three teeth missing* worth it
  • slytherin: so my cunning plan got so convoluted that i somehow managed to doublecross myself and ended up with a year's detention
  • ravenclaw: I DON'T NEED SLEEP IT'S ONLY BEEN A DAY SINCE I ATE I NEED TO FINISH THIS BOOK ABOUT DRAGON DUNG DAMMIT
  • hufflepuff: *arms full of kittens* i want them all
James Comey Firing Overview

So you’re confused about this whole James Comey thing but also care about America so want to be less confused? Come with me!

James Comey was (until today) the Director of the FBI. A Republican appointed by Barack Obama in 2013. He made a lot of enemies in the Democratic Party when, 11 days before the 2016 election, he re-opened investigation into Hillary’s emails.

Turned out nothing interesting was in those new emails, and also that this probably did result in Hillary losing the election. Kinda uncool. Also turns out, he did not announce that the FBI was looking into links between Trump’s campaign and the Russian Government.

It is clear (though some still argue) that Russia actively worked to influence the outcome of the US Presidential election. They did this by hacking and releasing information on Hillary Clinton, and by creating and promoting incendiary and false news stories online.

The Obama Administration knew about this and got real mad at Russia, basically kicking all of their diplomats out of the country and creating new sanctions.

There are two main concerns that the FBI (and other agencies, including congress) have been looking into.

1. Whether the Trump campaign was in communication with the Russians before or after the election to say that the Obama sanctions wouldn’t last.

(This would be bad. Basically actively working against the existing government of the United States, which is illegal.)

2. Whether the Trump campaign actively worked with the Russians to time the release of negative information on Hillary Clinton.

(This would be even worse. Both could be considered treason.)

A number of people in Trump’s campaign and also his current team had conversations with Russian diplomats and lied about it. This includes Mike Flynn, who definitely violated the law and who was fired for lying to VP Pence about it. It also includes Attorney General Jeff Sessions, who agreed that he would not be involved in the Russia investigations because he lied under oath about it.

The FBI has had an on-going investigation into this stuff the whole time, and James Comey has been leading that investigation.

Quick note, a Grand Jury is a citizen panel that decides whether there’s enough evidence to try a case. These are usually secret, in order to protect the people who might not be even brought to trial, much less found guilty. But sometimes they need to gather information, like documents or testimony. And they do this with court summonses called subpoenas.

Well, yesterday, CNN reported that a Federal Grand Jury investigating Mike Flynn and the Trump Campaigns ties to Russia exists. That Grand Jury has issued subpoenas for more information, indicating to experts a high level of seriousness to the investigation.

It’s pretty clear that Trump campaign knows about this, and as it’s a Federal case, it was likely overseen by the FBI director, James Comey.

Suddenly, just before that story came out, the Trump team decided that Comey’s treatment of Hillary’s emails was bad, and fired him. The recommendation to fire Comey came from AG Sessions, who, again, recused himself from the Russia investigation after lying under oath. To be clear, both Sessions and Trump have previously praised Comey at length for his treatment of that investigation.

The response from Dems and also many Reps has been shock. It is very concerning for a President to fire someone who is investigating him. This seems to have happened very quickly. Comey found out he was fired the same time as everyone else, the letter Trump wrote to him was delivered to DC, but Comey was in Los Angeles at the time. Of course, the Deputy Director of the FBI is now in charge, but Trump has the job of appointing a new director, and has not made any sign that he has a list of candidates.

This seems the sort of thing that most congressional lawmakers, who have a mandate to check the power of the President, should be very worried about. Many are calling for a Special Prosecutor, who would be free to work without congressional approval, to be appointed.

Others want broad, unanimous support for Comey’s replacement, which would ensure someone who is not under Trump’s thumb.

The power to grant these things lies with congress. A congress that is controlled by the President’s party, but not by the President.

And that is where we are. It is pretty convoluted, thank you for taking the time to read.

The controversial points in this are:
1 Whether the Russian government hacked Hillary’s emails (many Republicans say there is no proof while every intelligence agency in the US said that it was orchestrated by the Russian government.

2. Whether Jeff Sessions lied under oath or if he just misspoke or forgot that he had met with Russian officials. In any case, he agreed to remove himself from the congressional investigation.

3. Whether the Trump Campaign investigation was the cause of Comey’s firing. The stated reason is that Comey “lost credibility” and damaged the reputation of the FBI by mis-handling the Clinton email investigation.

That’s as good as I can do, it feels like it’s a good deal more comprehensive and concise than most of what I’ve been reading. If it helped you, please show it around.

if you hated pink and/or blue as a kid because of the forced implication of rigid gendering of things that you knew you didn’t want to be a part of and as a kid you took it out on the colour but were able to embrace the colour(s) divorced from the bullshit as you grew up and were able to make your own choices about colour and now feel much more free to like pink and/or blue clap your hands

Random joke magic items

Here’s a list of random joke items to use for fun in your campaign. I’d recommend adding them to treasure hoards rather than subbing normal items for them.
Anyway here they are:

1. Ace of Spades - An ace of spades from a standard card deck. No matter where you store it on your body, you will always be able to find it in your right sleeve afterwards.

2. Amulet of Extra Amulet Slot - This amulet allows you to gain the benefit from two magical amulets rather than one. It cannot be further enchanted.

3. Amulet of Feather Fall - When worn, this amulet turns into a feather and falls to the ground.

4. Amulet of Unbreaking Bones - Con-man says you can’t break any bones. Really, he means other’s bones. -100% damage against skeletons.

5. Amulet of weather detection - yells that it is or is not raining.

6. Anti-Matches - A box of matches. Striking one will make it begin to drip water from the tip while the match shrivels away. The amount of water a match releases is about enough to fill a tablespoon.

7. Arrow of Euarere - A silver arrow, suspended on a string. It always points to the person holding the string.

8. Arrow of Slaying, The - This magical arrow is capable of killing a creature.

9. Artist’s Bludgeon, The - Inanimate objects hit with this bludgeon will receive no damage; they will however change color.

10. Attentive Guardsman’s Pike - These ornate and deadly-looking ceremonial pikes are reach weapons and appear to weigh at least 20 lbs, not counting the weight of the fluttering banners that can be unfurled for parade use. Constructed of shadowstuff, they weigh one pound, and inflict only a single point of damage on an attack, being almost entirely for show, although they also have the unique property of remaining in place when set (although unable to support more than 20 lbs), allowing a ‘resting his eyes’ guardsman to prop it up and leave it standing under its own power, while his hand sags off of it.

11. Attentive Guardsman’s Tabard - A dozen of these tabards were fashioned for palace guardsmen in the Empire of Sard, 250 miles from the nearest enemy. The bearer is placed under a glamour that causes him to appear alert and awake, even if his eyes are closed and he is snoring lightly.

12. Axe of Big Numbers - This axe shouts “Big numbers baby, come on!” whenever it is swung, but always deals 1 damage or less.

13. Axe of Empathy - Every time you hit something with this +5 greataxe, you get dealt an equal amount of damage. Both you and the thing you hit are then healed the amount of damage dealt by the axe, even if either are dead. The Axe hopes you have learned your lesson.

14. Axe of Pain - The axe is always moaning and groaning with pain.

15. Bag of Faerie Gold - This sack appears to be full of gold coins and jewels. When one attempts to spend them, however, the glamour on them soon vanishes, revealing them to be nothing but leaves and pebbles. Obviously, most shopkeepers will not be happy about this, and no amount of ‘we didn’t know, I swear!’ will change their mind.

16. Bag of Holding - This item functions as a normal backpack, however when attempting to retrieve an item, a calm female voice tells them there is a wait time of 4d10 minutes before they can retrieve their item (actual time is stated time plus 6d6 additional minutes). During this wait, the bag plays either annoying muzak or advertisements for the bag’s creator’s other products/services. Upon attempting to retrieve an item, there is a chance that the wrong item is retrieved, or that the intended item is simply missing. Obtaining the original item requires an additional 4d10+6d6 minutes and has only a 5% chance of success.

17. Bag of Trading - You can take one thing out of the bag for each object you put in the bag. However, you have no control over what you get, and there are no trade-backs. Past research seems to imply there’s some sort of correlation to what gets you what, but it’s extremely convoluted and far from understood.

18. Bag of Trick - This bag operates like a Bag of Tricks, except it only works once a week and produces a rat each time it is used.

19. Bag of Unholding - Quite a large backpack but even the smallest item doesn’t fit.

20. Bagpipe of Stealth - Grants the user invisibility as long as it is being played.

21. Ball of Eyes - A snow-globe filled with miniature eyeballs. When shaken, it grants the user a blurry, jittery vision of some future event.

22. Banana Walkie-Talkies - There exist two, and only two, of these items in the world. One of which is possessed by a cranky and lonely half-orc. It appears to be an innocuous wooden banana with a coat of faded yellow paint. When an end (doesn’t matter which one) is placed against your ear, you can hear a ringing followed by a click and a half-orc yelling at you for waking him up at this ungodly hour. If you drop the banana or “hang up,” the call ends. If you stay and listen, the half-orc will yell at you, call out obscenities, and start going on about his daily problems and mishaps in his love life. Every so often (2% chance/day), the banana will ring while you are sleeping and the half-orc will want to talk to you about his problems.

23. Barrel of Holding - This large wooden barrel measuring √(12/π) feet in diameter and 5 feet in height can hold up to 15 cubic feet of matter.

24. Beam Sword of Severed Nerves - A beam sword. It cannot cut anything but nerve strings. Will pass through any other material leaving no harm.

25. Belt of Pants - This belt creates illusory pants on the wearer. The wearer can suppress the illusion at will

26. Belt of Tightening - Every time you put this belt on, all of your clothes permanently shrink a fraction of a millimeter. The effect is compound.

27. Belt of Unbathed Breath - When worn around the waist, allows the user to breathe underwater. Does not function when wet.

28. Boogie Skeleton - This pile of bones is small, such as one that might be obtained from a bird or a toad, though it can look as though it came from any creature. When a song is sung or played in the vicinity of the skeleton, it begins to dance appropriately. As soon as the music stops, it collapses into the pile of bones again. The skeleton, when dancing, can be no larger than Diminutive.

29. Book of Canon - A book that automatically transforms into a copy of the sacred text of any religion, translated into the language the user is most familiar with.

30. Book of Confusion - The letters in this book always appear to be upside down, even if viewed from different directions at the same time. The book is a bad novel about zombies.

31. Book of Curses - When opened, the book verbally berates anyone in the immediate vicinity, calling into question their combat ability, intellect, personal hygiene, lineage and profession of their mothers, and other delightful insults. Once closed the book continues shouting (although it is muffled) until placed inside a bag or some other similar container for 1d4+1 minutes and ignored. Replying to the book in any other way causes the insults to get louder and more childish the more time you spend replying to it.

32. Book of Exalted Deeds - Contains a listing of some of the finest houses ever sold and the specifics of the titles to the properties.

33. Boots of Blinding Speed - The wearer’s speed is doubled, and they are blinded.

34. Boots of Levitation - These boots levitate a few inches off the ground when not worn.

35. Boots of Stylishness - Knee high black boots that are always clean and shiny. They never take in water, thus feet are always dry.

36. Boots of Teleportation - Allows the player to teleport wherever they like, but don’t carry the wearer with them when activated; the boots teleport just fine, though.

37. Boots of Walking - The wearer of the boots cannot run, nor can he take a double move action, and takes a -5 to Tumble checks. These boots are made for walkin’, and that’s just what they’ll do.

38. Bottle of Air - It’s a bottle. Full of air. Congratulations.

39. Bottomless Beer Mug - Any liquid poured into this mug treats the bottom as incorporeal, but solid objects don’t.

40. Bowl of Comfortable Warmth - Any liquid in the bowl will feel comfortably warm, so icy cold water will feel like it’s a bit over room temperature. Do note, however, that it’s still icy cold water, it just feels warmer.

50. Breastplate of Secret Detection - If the wearer of this breastplate gains a piece of information that is somehow connected to the concealment of a hidden conspiracy or plot, a live and still wet red herring forms on the inside of the armor.

51. Bullying Gloves - At random intervals, these gloves instil the wearer with a near-irresistible urge to hit themselves.

52. Bunyan’s Belt - When worn, causes an enormous, bushy black beard to appear on the wearer’s face.

53. Cape of Resistance - When this item is placed on any living thing it somehow manages to fall off, untie itself, slip past the owner’s neck entirely, or otherwise avoid being worn.

54. Case of the Litigator - Translates any document placed in the case into legal jargon; non-reversible. Does not confer the ability to understand legal jargon.

55. Cat of Schrodinger - When this cat is not being observed in any way it is both dead and alive. When something observes it, it suddenly becomes either dead or alive with a 50% chance of either.

56. Chair of Steadiness - This chair can be moved but cannot be tipped over by anything less than a DC 35 Strength check.

57. Charles - This small, unremarkable figurine of a gnome refuses to be called anything but Charles. No other name will leave the lips of the speaker. It has no other powers.

58. Chime of Interruption - This instrument can be struck once every round, which takes a standard action. On any round the chime is activated the user may ready one action without spending an action to do so.

59. Chime of Opening - Commonly affixed to or near doors, when pressed it emits a sound on the interior of the owner’s home to let them know guests have arrived.

60. Chime of Opening (Alternate) - When struck against a solid surface, this chime emits a loud click, and opens along its length, to reveal a tiny compartment adequate to conceal a single 'smoke’ worth of pipeweed or a blowgun needle. When the compartment is closed, it is seamless and can be detected only with a DC 20 Search check. If hit with an instrument such as a small mallet, it chimes.

61. Cloak of Billowing - This black and silver cloak will always billow dramatically behind the wearer, it has no other effects.

62. Cloak of Displacement, Minor - This item appears to be a normal cloak, but when worn by a character its magical properties distort and warp reality. When any attack is made against the wearer the cloak has a 20% chance of falling off, no matter how it is secured.

63. Compacting hammer - The force imparted by it is multiplied, but is spread around the surface of a struck object facing inward.

64. Cymbal of Symbols - This musical instrument enables the user to comprehend dead languages, but only while they are deafened by noise.

65. Dagger of Told Secrets - A simple-looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper your most embarrassing secret to that person.

66. Dagger of unnatural sharpness - The blade is exceptionally sharp to your touch. It confers no combat bonuses but can be used as a normal dagger for fighting or crafting, but the user seems to always cut himself in minor ways when using it.

67. Dagger of Untold Secrets - A simple looking dagger. If used to backstab someone to death, it will whisper the most embarrassing secret of that person to you.

68. Decanter of Endless Sorrow - A pewter flask that produces limitless alcohol when held to their lips by someone who is troubled. It gets them drunk but they never feel any better.

69. Diadem of Brothaurity - When wearing this headpiece, you are as elegant and well-spoken as a famous diplomat or regent, but you can’t stop calling everyone bro.

70. Enchanted Book of Collected Stories - Opening this will cause miniature creatures/people to pour out and perform a chapter from the book much like a theater.

71. Focusing Ring - The digit on which this ring is worn can be viewed in extremely high definition from a great distance.

72. Gloves of Tinkering - Wearing the gloves will make you able to almost repair any broken item. However, you will always end up with pieces from the item that don’t seem to fit anywhere.

73. Glowing sword of orc detection - When it gets orc blood on it the sword glows.

74. Good Luck ring - Gives your enemies good luck!

75. Greater Staff of Random Summoning - Summons a random creature at a random place. You could be summoning a giant Ogre on the other side of the globe for all you know.

76. Helm of Awareness, The - The wearer is acutely aware of the fact that they are wearing this helmet and that it has a magical effect. - All you need to do to make this work as a DM is frequently remind the player that the helm is magical while they are wearing it but be evasive about exactly what it does.

77. Hoarder’s Wand - Does nothing but for some reason you think it might be important later in your quest.

78. Hood of Offensive Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others to the appearance of the person they most personally dislike.

79. Hood Of Worrisome Facades - This hood will change your identity in the eyes of others, however the identity used will be random.

80. Indestructible Notebook of Memories - This otherwise normal notepad of normal notepad size cannot be damaged or destroyed, and anything written in it cannot be obscured or defaced. It also has unlimited pages despite its finite size. However, the data it holds only lasts as long as the writer independently remembers it, and decays in exact proportion to the relevant memories. Remember who and when, but not where? Then the words describing the location in that particular entry are the only ones gone.

81. Intransigent Rod - When the button on this artifact is pressed in, the holder’s opinions solidify and they become impossible to convince.

82. Key to anywhere - opens any door into a closet with a water bucket that falls and hits the player’s head. Inside this closet is the treasure of true adventurers. If opened with a key, it opens a closet…

83. Lunch Box of Delicious Unfulfillment - This lunch box will hold whatever food you desire. However you will never get full and the food will deliver no nourishment.

84. Mask of Concealment - Hides the wearer’s face and conceals everything from them by blocking their eyes! Bonus points for requiring a strength check or a time limit to expire to be removed.

85. Mattress of Poverty, The - No matter how you fluff this gorgeous, thick, mattress, you will always sleep on the thin part of it.

86. Mug O’ Dissatisfaction - A mug that always produces a steaming hot cup of coffee or tea when tapped on the bottom. It conjures the opposite of what the tapper prefers, so if you like tea you get coffee and vice versa. Handing the full mug to another person will make the drink in it transform to the opposite of that person’s preferences.

87. Murder Dagger - All damage it would deal is instead replaced by the target being harassed by crows for that many hours.

88. Needle Of Learned Compromise - This needle will create beautiful tattoos of any design, however they hurt a tiny bit more. When used to sew it is entirely normal.

89. Portable Dark Tavern Corner - Consisting of two wooden boards connected by a hinge, this artifact draws those nearby into assuming it is a perfect spot to conduct seedy business.

90. Potion of fire breathing - For the length of time that the potion is in effect, every breath out is on fire, whether you want it to be or not.

91. Potion of Quelchment - Cures thirst when consumed

92. Ring of Fire Detection - becomes warm when placed into Fire.

93. Ring of First Impression - Wearing the ring will make you able to perform a perfect handshake with the hand wearing it.

94. Ring of Stoneskin - Turns your skin, muscles, and organs into stone! Character is now a stationary statue. Can’t be reversed until someone takes the ring off.

95. Rope of Entanglement - Becomes entangled when left in a pack

96. Sack of Hive Eggs - Crushing one of the numerous tiny eggs will cause the thoughts of everybody in the proximity to merge. Everybody can hear what you think and you can hear everybody.

97. Shirt of fire protection - this shirt is sopping wet.

98. Shoes of the Restless Traveler - These shoes allow their user to run for miles without feeling fatigue, but if they try to do anything else with it (walk, sit down, jump), they will instantly trip

99. Sword of Parrying - Parries every attack, swinging it yourself will force it to “parry” your opponent’s weapon/attack even though he/she/it is defenseless.

100. Torch of Night Vision - grants bearer Night Vision while lit.

101. Vorpal Grindstone - It can “sharpen” any object to become vorpal. Any object.

102. Wand of command - Lets your character be controlled after saying the command word!

103. Wand of Create Wand of Create Wand - Creates a Wand of Create Wand. Consumes original Wand.

104. Wand of Pigeon Summoning - summons 1d20 pigeons everyday. On a 20 it breaks and summons a giant pigeon god (can be the size of Godzilla or like 5 pigeons.) Giant pigeon god should be in the mid 20s for CR, but is uninterested in attacking, and will simply fly away when summoned.

105. Water Hat, The - A small red hat, when worn, causes water to pour from the wearer’s fingers at the speed and pressure of a kitchen faucet at half power.

106. Wineskin of the Eternal Primary - This wineskin never runs out of water, but even the tiniest sip makes you have to go potty, like, super bad. Right now.

Yuri!!! On Stage Event Report!

So today (4/29/2017) I went to the Yuri on Ice Yuri on Stage event. To clarify though, I was not at the actual Tokyo event, rather a live viewing at a local movie theater. Which of course does alter the experience but it’s the next best thing. At first I thought the theater was only doing the afternoon session, but very last minute I ended up being able to attend both!

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Random DnD Worldbuilding
  • Male tieflings wearing skirts because having custom pants tailored to accommodate their tails is too much of a hassle
  • Firefighter clerics, wizards, and druids
  • (and the apologetic sorcerer that probably started the fire by mistake)
  • Young, forty-something dwarves joining druid circles and protesting the damage their clan mining does on the environment
  • Everyone gives up trying to categorize sexuality when a half-elf can bring their cute dragonborn boyfriend home to meet their family
  • Human kids having an awesome bearded dwarf vodka-aunt that adventured with a great-grandparent decades ago and gives the best presents
  • Ok but there are several disciplines of magic that let you bring people back from the dead wtf
  • Young punk elves barely in their 80s but yelling at humans “Check yourself knave I made out with your grandma before she even had your Da.”
  • Wizards for Familiar Rights
  • Spellcasters using ‘alter self’ and switch genders at will
  • A giant half-Orc mom adopting street kids and giving them shoulder rides
  • A normal human whose sibling was born a tiefling beating up village kids who mistreat them
  • Integrated cities made to accommodate smaller folk like halflings and gnomes
  • Would alchemists be the ones to concoct magic medications for psych disorders? Are divination clerics and wizards psychologists?
  • Convoluted age laws because a half-orc is an adult at 15 but an elf isn’t considered of-age until their first century.
  • Maybe democracies aren’t a thing in Faerûn because all you’d need is a few necromancers to literally have dead people voting
  • Bard rock bands

Life has always had cheat codes, but activating them has been so convoluted that no one has ever activated one, until you in a drunken stupor accidentally executed each specific step (of many) to activate: debug mode.

anonymous asked:

Mavis sitting on zeref's head while hes trying to run away from a puppy?

Not exactly what you meant, but I like the idea of those two just running away from cute creatures before they drop dead

Energy Tethers 101

Updated (again): 04.28.17

*this post is fueled by angst*

Okay, no, seriously though, it really does make me sad that so many people seemed to have no idea what I was talking about when it comes to connecting things for energy transfer.


So, what even is an energy tether?

I personally use the term “energy tether” to describe this type of energy work, but they could be called anything - energy cords, energy feeds, etc. Basically, it’s a metaphysical connection to allow a direct and continuous flow of energy from a source into a target. And I say target, because it doesn’t need to be an inanimate object - it’s possible to do this with yourself too.

That sounds a little convoluted, Richtor; can you break it down a bit more?

Yes, I know, I’m fancy with my words. You’re creating an energetic line between two things, one thing to be used as a battery, to allow energy to constantly flow from the battery into the second thing, keeping it charged / powered forever.

Are you serious?

Yes.

Why don’t we do this for everything in magic?

Honestly, I don’t know. If you’ve got an understanding of energy work and visualization, it really isn’t even that hard to create one. It can even be done with representational magic if you really wanna go that far, but it’s not that complex when you get down to it. 

I’m assuming it’s just a case of, people don’t think about it like that, or, it wasn’t as widespread a thing as I thought it was.

Can’t we just do this with passive charging, like how we charge things in moonlight?

Yes, but objects only hold a limited amount of energy before they become full; once you’ve used up the energy, you need to recharge it again. Creating an energy tether allows a constant flow of energy, so as it is being used up by your intent or goal, it just refills itself.

To me, passive charging is no guarantee that the energy will stick or be absorbed by the object, and that is also why I prefer things that require focusing on the energy yourself (direct channeling), or this method.

What *can* you use energy tethers for, anyway?

Basically anything you want to keep charged for extended periods of time. Optimal for sigils, any sort of charms - hell, you can even connect thoughtforms / servitors this way. But, seriously, anything you want to keep constantly charged with minimal effort, this is a way to do it.

What can you use for “batteries” or power sources?

Anything that produces an almost endless amount of energy. The sun is the first and most obvious one I think of. You can use anything else that produces a lot of energy, though. If you live near a dam, or those electricity windmills, those would work. Power lines and electric generators are awesome, and a great way to incorporate different feels of energy (and tech magic) into your practice. Space, even; like, the entire damn thing. If it produces energy, it can be tethered.

What do you mean about different feels of energy?

This isn’t specific to tethers - all things that have and produce energy have different “feels” to them. The sun is more hot and energetic than the moon, which is cool and calming. Rose quartz is a bit more gentle than, say, jasper, which is hot and fire-y. Tiger’s eye is more solid and stable than clear quartz, which is fluid and mold-able to almost any intent. 

We all experience feels of energy differently, however; these are just how I “energetically feel” those things.

(You also don’t need to “feel” anything to still do energy work, but that’s like a  whole ‘nother post.)

Can you tether to something that doesn’t have unlimited energy?

Sure, yeah, but you’ll drain it, and then it won’t be fulfilling its purpose anymore.

So, you could use yourself as a power source?

You could, but it’s super draining and I wouldn’t recommend it. That object would constantly be taking your energy away from you, and it could have bad consequences, including physical ones - physical exhaustion is a side effect that can occur when you use too much of your energy, and I see it happen often to people who are not careful about their energy expenditure.

However.

You can create switches for your tethers. As in, you can cinch them, close them off, to stop the flow of energy. Like you can turn on a pipe to get water flowing, then shut it off just as easily - you could create a “modification” for a tether similar in that manner.

Can these energy lines be broken?

Yep, absolutely. You can do it yourself if you no longer want them, someone else could do it if they could sense them, or they can naturally fade over time if you don’t give them proper upkeep and care.

Wait, upkeep? What happened to endless energy?

Yes, upkeep. You’re creating something to funnel energy, with energy. Energy needs to constantly be molded and kept in shape, or else it tends to just drift away. It really isn’t that hard to upkeep, though.

How do you keep your energy tethers safe from other people? 

Just program that into them when you make them.

Any disadvantages to using an energy tether?

It depends on how you view the term disadvantage. 

I think the thing that energy tethers lack is that bit of personalization that we often talk about being important in witchcraft. For example, you can keep a thoughtform powered by the sun, but it won’t contain your energy, won’t be as personally tied to you as if you charged it with your own energies. That can lose a lot of impact, when you really think about it, especially considering the nature of thoughtforms and the like.

Not to mention, you can overwhelm yourself with energy if you use a tether to connect yourself to an external source that produces more than your body can handle. You know how you can be overwhelmed by external energies, just by walking around? Yeah, now imagine that pumping straight into your body without a natural exit channel. Not fun.

Are there any other applications for energy tethers?

Fuck yeah. Use them to draw energy out of a target, in the form of a curse - literally sap their energies away so they have none left for their daily lives.

You can even connect yourself and another person with energy tethers, if you want to be able to share energy more freely and with more ease. (This is basically what I did with @ashesforeverashes​, in a sense.) 

Some people don’t like their energies taken without consent, though, and certain witchy protections can even prevent these sorts of tethers from forming in the first place, so keep that in mind.

Okay, all this talk about tethers, are you gonna show us how to make them?

Only if you ask nicely.

Please?

Okay that’s better. 

It is essentially just a combination of energy work, intent, and visualization.

The first thing you need to do, is have an object you want charged.

Now, pick an energy source. You don’t need to be able to see it, but it can help.

Relax yourself, clear your mind if you can. Hold onto your object in your hands. 

If you can, look at your energy source; this is clearly not applicable with the sun, so close your eyes and have your face turned toward it. If you can’t see your energy source, picture it in your mind as clearly as you can. Try to get a feel for its energy as well as you can, too. 

Once you are confident with your source, imagine a cord connecting from it and to your object you want to keep charged. A nice visualization for this would be seeing the particles form together out of thin air to form your tether - literally materializing out of nothing and attaching to the source, creating a line that is slowly building down from the source and to your object. This can be done in whatever way you wish - just make it.

Take as long as you need to allow the cord to be build from your energy source to the target - it can take some time, depending on the distance and how experienced you are with energy work.

While you are creating it, focus on any attributes you want it to have - a thick cord that is hard to break, a shimmery appearance so no other magic users can see it, etc. Keep in mind the purpose of the cord, what you want it to do, how you want it to behave, and fuse that into it as it is being formed. If you wish to incorporate a switch, in order to turn on and off the flow of energy, now would be the time to do so - more visualization and intent, and declarations of “I can halt this flow of energy whenever I desire” should do the trick.

Once the cord is in place, you want to draw energy from your source and into the object, through the tether. Make it clear that energy only flows one way through this particular tether. Continue to draw from the energy source and down into the target, until you begin to feel the energy flowing through the tether naturally. Once energy is accumulating into the object on its own, you know the tether is complete.

For the upkeep; about once a week or so, focus on the tether and visualize it still being strong, without any gaps for energy to sift through. See a smooth, clean flow of energy from your energy source and into the target. If there are any obstructions, break them down and funnel them out.

What was this “representational magic” method you mentioned?

Oh yeah. 

As a boost, you can have a representation of your energy source physically attached to the object or target, if you can. So, for example, you could have a tiny model of the sun, connected to the physical vessel for a thoughtform, by a piece of string. This can help keep the energy tether strengthened in a “physical” aspect, especially if you bind the physical to the energetic. Not to mention, just looking at it, you are reaffirmed that the tether is there and the object is charged, and that can assist with the upkeep.

Are there any “modifications” for energy tethers?

Totally. You can change the “material” you make the tether out of. Think of how people can put spikes onto personal shields, or make them have reflective surfaces - it’s sort of like that, but moreso changing the tether itself into something besides a beam of light. It can be a black cord like the ones electronics use; it can be made out of natural rope or hemp; it can be just a metal pipe that the energy slides through. Try to think about how each “material” might impact the flow and/or feel of energy.

You can also have one tether break off and charge many items at once - you don’t need a separate tether for each thing. Just focus on your tether and how it can fork, and imagine another branch coming from it naturally. Or, if you’re adding a separate line after the original tether has been “installed,” imagine a separate line growing or being molded from the first and down to the new object.


And there you have it - my post on energy tethers. Obviously this isn’t complete or all encompassing. This is just my view on these energetic cords, what they are, and how they can be made and used. I wrote this off the seat of my pants, but I think I covered everything I intended to. (And it feels hardcore like the old windvexer posts to me, which I’m not bothered by lol.)

I hope this helps you guys, or inspires you, or whatever. If you have any more questions, I… guess I can open my ask box, as long as y’all behave. Good luck, and have fun!

anonymous asked:

Any chance you have anything with fake dating/boyfriend for hire turned lover fics? >w<

Thanks for these requests! This is a fun AU! As always, let me know if you have read another fic that you think should be on this list! 


Fake/Pretend Relationship


When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Sugar by shereadsthestars, Mature, 7.7k
What could possibly be worse than getting stuck with a roommate you weren’t expecting? Discovering that roommate is none other than Viktor f*cking Nikiforov. I LOVE THIS FIC SO SO MUCH! 

Impostor Syndrome by renaissance, Mature, 61k 
At some point, most people with a childhood crush will imagine meeting their idol, and might even pretend that they’re dating. This is the story of how Yuuri Katsuki meets his childhood crush, and how they pretend that they’re dating. LOVE!

A Katsudon for Two by koi_ling, Teen, 8.6k (WIP)
Yuuri wakes up with a headache and a new boyfriend. (an AU in which Yuuri and Victor pretend to be dating because Yuuri’s mom is too worried about her son staying solo for his whole life) This is SO good so far, hoping for more!

Looking for a rhythm like you by Cesare, Teen, 12k (WIP)
“I know we only really met yesterday, and this may be skipping ahead a lot,” says Victor, “but would it be all right if we told people we’re dating?” Thumbs up!

The Power of Love by kiaronna, Teen, 19k (WIP)
Yuuko and Yuuri dominate the singles skating competition as Japan’s power couple—except they aren’t a couple, and when their old skating idol stumbles into their personal life, everything rapidly goes downhill. SUCH a good fic!

The nostalgic feeling of the familiar by myoue, Gen, 11k
Yuuri’s the one who suggested being fake engaged in the first place, tugging Victor along on such a convoluted plan at the start of cherry blossom season. This is great!

It Doesn’t Have to be a Lie by Recesskup, Not Rated, 54k (WIP)
Yuuri is not outgoing. That’s why when Phichit supplies Viktor as his fake boyfriend he’s bringing home for Christmas he nearly dies on the spot. And in all Honesty, he’s not quite sure how he managed to convince Viktor Nikiforov to play the role of his pretend boyfriend. And he’s even more at a loss for words when he remembers he has to go along with this for two weeks. Highly recommend!

locker room talk by thehibiscusthief, Teen, 1.3k
“Yuuri, I… I really like you! Will you go out with me?” Kenjirou cried. Yuuri froze. The reporters surrounding them fell silent, cameras trained on Yuuri’s shocked expression.
“Um…” he began. “I can’t, because…” His eyes desperately darted around the room, searching for an acceptable answer. “Because I’m already in a relationship! With someone very special. Um.”
Kenjirou’s face fell. “Who is it?” he demanded. His bottom lip was quivering, tears pooling in his eyes.
“Viktor,” he blurted. “I’m dating Viktor.” Cute one-shot!

Hide the Mistletoe by cosmicthief, Teen, 10k (WIP)
Yuuri has a problem. Maybe more than one.1. He just got broken up with.
2. There are five days until Christmas.
3. His mom’s expecting a date at their celebration. Awesome fic, hoping that there will be more!

It Was Simple Until It Wasn’t by marihy, Teen, 7.3k (WIP)
It was simple really. Yuuri wanted revenge on his cheating ex, and Victor needed someone on his arm to appease his parents. The solution to both of their problems was a fake relationship. Nice and simple. But of course, these things rarely stay simple. Great fic!

Rent A Date! by Y3Melisa, Gen, 3.8k (WIP)
Yuuri ‘rents’ a fake boyfriend to bring home so that Minako-sensei will stop trying to hook him up with her ballet class students. Victor, the most popular bachelor on the site, gets chosen. I really like this fic so far!

you are the best thing that’s ever been mine by JMonCheri, Mature, 13k (WIP)
Wherein famous actors Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are forced to fake a relationship for mere reasons such as fame, money, and for teenage girls to make thesis long rants about them on Tumblr. Rec’d by a follower!

never could be sweeter than with you by nihonlove, Teen, 13k (WIP)
Back in highschool, Yuuri Katsuki was basically every stereotype of an unpopular nerd rolled into one. Since then, he likes to think his life has improved in miles. But when an invitation to his highschool reunion arrives, it forces him to take a longer look at his life and his relationships. Particularly with one certain friend he’s been in love with for years and who now wants to help Yuuri through his reunion by pretending to be his boyfriend… Really good!

D&D Curses

There are initially four different ways to use the Bestow Curse spell in D&D 5e. Those are as follows:

  • Disadvantage on ability checks and saves for one ability score
  • Disadvantage on attacks against you
  • WIS save or do nothing during a given round
  • +1d8 necrotic damage when you damage them

The spell normally lasts for a minute, but if cast with a 9th level slot, it lasts until dispelled, which is worth noting because the best curses last until dispelled. if cast with a 4th level slot, it lasts for 10 minutes. A 5th level slot is 8 hours. A 7th level slot is 24 hours. These all have their uses for creative players, but the best part of the spell by far is the encouragement to invent your own curses, which many players and DMs have taken as a challenge for their own creativity. So while it is certainly not new, it’s my turn to take a crack at it!

Unique Curses

* - A curse marked with an asterisk is a 9th-level only curse due to its powerful detriment or long-lasting nature. But who is to stop you from enchanting an innocuous item with such a curse?

  • Hair Growth/Loss: You are cursed to grow hair at a rapid rate for the duration of the curse or else lose all of your hair (it grows back after the curse ends).
  • Mute/Deaf/Blind: You are rendered either mute, deaf, or blind for the duration of the curse.
  • Forbidden Speech: You are cursed to never speak about a certain subject, topic, or word for the duration of the curse.
  • *Rapid Aging/Deaging: You are cursed to either age by one year each day, or to grow one year younger each day. After you reach your final day, you die.
  • *Phylactery: Your fate becomes tied to a creature or object. If the creature or object is slain/destroyed, you die as well.
  • Ugliness: You are cursed with horrible deformity for the duration of the curse. You have -5 on Persuasion checks and Deception checks for the duration and are easily noticed and shunned by most humanoids of any race.

image source: Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn

  • Possessed Limb: One of your limbs (usually an arm) acts on its own for the duration of the curse, usually attempting to harm its host, harm others, or sow chaos.
  • Petrified Limb: One of your limbs becomes petrified and is unable to be used for the duration of the curse. It could turn into any solid mineral like stone, iron, glass, salt, or gold. Any damage it takes is retained once the curse is lifted.
  • Funny Looking: For the duration of the curse, anyone who you attempt to communicate with bursts into uncontrollable laughter. This does not prevent hostile creatures from attacking you, but prevents them from speaking.
  • Lichsight: For the duration of the curse, you can see the spirits of the dead. Whether real or illusory, you cannot communicate with them and you must make a WIS saving throw each round or become frightened and run in a random direction or cower in place (50%/50%).
  • Butterfingers: Each round while the curse is active, you must make a DEX saving throw. On a failed save, you drop whatever you are holding and cannot pick up or hold anything for the rest of the round.
  • Forgetful: You have a tendency to forget things. During the curse, whenever new information is revealed to your character, you have a 50% chance to not be able to remember it, even after the curse has ended.
  • *Lady of Shalott: You are doomed to die if you ever lay eyes directly upon another being, and must therefore look at the world through a mirror and avoid direct sight of others. The difficulty of maneuvering a hand mirror or the necessity to close your eyes effectively makes you blinded while in combat, imposing disadvantage on attack rolls.
  • Stingy: During the curse, you must make a WIS saving throw whenever you intend to part with money. On a failed save, you opt not to spend your money on it. You cannot make another such save for the same purchase, even from a different seller.
  • Empty Coinpurse: You are compelled to buy things until all of your wealth has disappeared. You will even go so far as to barter your own goods once out of money. Whenever you find something for sale, you must make a WIS saving throw. On a failed save, you will do anything you can to attempt to purchase it or trade for it. Only if the seller refuses three times will you give up.
  • *Baleful Polymorph: You are transformed into a small creature or tiny animated object for the duration of the curse. You retain the ability to speak using a disembodied voice emanating from the creature or object, usually paired with animation like a moving mouth (if a creature) or a mouth-shaped part (if an object; like a book opening and closing its covers and such). You can move with a move speed of 10 ft. per round if an object.

image source: Star vs. the Forces of Evil 

  • Talking Tumor: You grow a tumor-like second head that can speak that embarrasses, berates, or otherwise annoys and inconveniences you. It has +6 for Persuasion, Deception, and Intimidation checks, helping it be a complete jerk.
  • Evil Aura: Plants within 15 ft. of you wilt and turn brown or gray and animals within 60 ft. feel afraid or threatened by you for the duration of the curse.
  • Bad Taste: Eating food or drinking water causes you to become poisoned for 1d6 hours, or for the duration of the curse.
  • Bad Luck: Whenever you have advantage for the duration of the curse, you instead have disadvantage.
  • *Prophecy: You become destined to die under certain circumstances. Whenever it is possible for those circumstances to be met, you must make a relevant saving throw (falling boulder? DEX save. Poisoned apple? CON save. etc.) or begin dying. The victim cannot be threatened by the curse more than once every 2d4 hours. The curse will take increasingly convoluted measures to try and make the prophecy come true the longer the curse lasts.
  • *Guardian: The victim is polymorphed into a hostile creature of CR 6 or less. The victim is given some sort of command like guarding a location or spreading suffering, and will continue to do so until the curse is lifted or they are slain. They revert to their regular form if they are slain. The victim cannot communicate and is hostile to all creatures. The creature becomes immune to the charmed condition.

image source: Sleeping Beauty by Henry Meynell Rheam

  • Slumber: You fall into a deep slumber and cannot be awoken until the curse is lifted.
  • Eternal Rest: If slain while under the curse, you cannot be resurrected by any means even after the curse fades.
  • Phantasm: You believe that you have been polymorphed into a small creature (like a toad or chicken) and act as such for the duration of the curse.
  • Unquenchable Thirst/Hunger: You feel eternally hungry and thirsty. You must make a WIS saving throw whenever you encounter food or drink, no matter how dangerous or questionable it might be (swamp water, obviously poisoned food, moldy bread, etc.). On a failed save, you consume it.
  • *Obedience: Whenever someone you can understand issues a verbal command to you while you are cursed, you are compelled to obey. You may attempt a WIS saving throw to resist a given command for one minute.

Hold your tongue! (Ella Enchanted)

  • Magical Immunity: You become immune to nonharmful spells for the duration of the curse. Spells cast by enemies or damaging spells still affect you, but healing spells and buffs do not.
  • Unhealing Wound: A wound you have will never heal. Your maximum hit points are reduced by 2d4+the caster’s spellcasting modifier. This curse cannot reduce a creature’s health to 0 in this way.
  • *Wandering: While under the effects of the curse, you are compelled to wander. Each day at dawn, you must leave and never return to the same city/town or 2.5 mile radius (if in the wilderness).
  • *Deadly Descendants: All of your descendants are cursed to kill their birth parents, whether intentionally or not.
  • *Lonliness: You are cursed to die alone. Anyone you become romantically close to or close friends eventually leaves or dies or meets a horrible fate.
  • *Gargoyle: You are petrified during the daytime and return to normal at night for the duration of the curse.
  • Voyager: You cannot set foot on dry land for the duration of the curse, taking 1d6 psychic damage each round that you do.

Removing Curses

Yes, there’s always a Wish spell or a Remove Curse spell, but I often believe that if any cleric can remove a curse it undercuts the drama of the punishing spell. Instead, use an alternative way to remove the curse. Most of it depends on how the curse was placed and the reasoning behind it. For instance, if you refuse to give a gypsy shelter from the cold in your luxurious castle, you might get transformed into a beast until someone falls in love with you. Here are some ways that one could feasibly break a curse (if the situation allows).

  • Give back an item that was stolen from the caster
  • Complete a quest or mission for the caster
  • Kill the caster
  • Pass the curse onto someone else (through some deliberate means like a handshake or kiss or losing a wager)
  • Seek out a powerful extraplanar being
  • Seek out special magical ingredients for a cure
  • Find a loophole in the wording of the curse (either through tricky wording or by finding a liminal loophole. “No man of woman born” could exclude a man born by C-section. “Neither day nor night” could exclude twilight)
  • Change your alignment (an evil or chaotic character learns to be good or lawful.)
  • Change your ideal or traits after learning some sort of lesson
  • Overcome one of your flaws.
  • Let the curse run its course instead of fighting it.
  • Find true love/True love’s kiss etc.
  • Prove your worth to the caster
  • Atone for past sins
  • Selflessly risk your life for someone else
  • Convert a creature to worshiping the caster’s deity
  • Avenge the caster

image source: Disney’s Beauty and the Beast (1991)

Feel free to use this list and add to it your own ideas for curses! There are so many possibilities that it’s never out of the question to find a new curse that uses arbitrary magical rules to drive the plot of a story. I guess that makes curses the sitcoms of the fantasy world.

Another thing I love about TAZ, they have (accidentally or not) turned out an interpretation of elves that matches the traditional Mischievous Unknowable Tricksters much more than the Tolkien elves that DnD usually ends up with. 

Taako is the foremost example because he’s the main character, but he’s this glamorous, prickly, powerful weirdo with his own specific and slightly off-center moral code. He’s rob a corpse but not a bank. He likes doing things purely to spite other people. He refuses to do what he’s told, and will sometimes do things no one expects for seemingly random reasons. Even more than the rest of the Boys, he’s a very chaotic but in a consistent way. And he feeds off of attention, he’s an entertainer at heart. 

Jenkins seems more straight laced, but by the end of his arc he’s a trickster as well. He uses his wits and magic to play a game and that game is called “steal things and kill people”. He makes convoluted plans and even though he has a steady job seems to enjoy the thrill of the “perfect crime”. Like Taako, he’s doing this because he’s bored

Same thing with the possibly elven Sloane. She’s a principled thief in it all for the joy of the chase. She runs illegal races because she enjoys it, and she clearly likes the attention a lot. She’s not high and mighty, she’s a storm of a person who comes in and throws everything off course. She’s unpredictable but does have her own logic- Hurley has a pretty good grasp of her psyche. It’s just not quite the same logic everyone else uses. 

Then you have Lydia and Edward, who might not actually be elves but are definitely playing off of expectations of them. Human twins in the forest running a weird magical death game? Suspicious. Dwarves doing the same thing? Super suspicious. But elves are strange and capricious and live for a very long time. Sometimes they just pull stunts like that. And Lydia and Edward definitely play up their garishness and glamour, they use appearances and bright colours and music and gaudiness to distract from what they’re really doing. Only in the final battle do we see them dressing down, they’ve finally put away the props and costumes and are playing for keeps. 

They’re a lot more involved in their world and as major characters we know them a lot better, but the elves of The Adventure Zone could easily slide into myths about strange and beautiful creatures who do everything for kicks and can’t be contained or understood.