convincing them that i am their best friend


Yoda:Looks really chill, nothing can bother him. Probably listens to Eminem in his room and dancing. Really smart, probably was bullied by kids when he was Padawan. But who’s laughing now?

Mace Windu:Hates everything. Has no tolerance for our boy Anakin. Or anyone else. Sceptical. Probably insults every member of the Order internally.

Kit Fisto:His smile can cure cancer. Chill dude. Loves water. Generally awesome. Deserves better. Probably everyone’s best friend.

Obi-Wan Kenobi:Sarcastic. Sassy. Classy. Eyes to die for. Bassicly what I look for in a guy. Amazing hair 10/10. Fashionista. Has a secret girlfriend, and a child (I am 100% convinced that Korkie is Obitine love child, fight me.) Better than anyone else.

Anakin Skywalker: Wears all black, looks fabulous in his clothes. Has a secret wife. She probably taught him secrets of fashion. Reckless. Eyes to die for. Hair on point 10/10. Has an awesome Padawan. Would die for his friends. Best guy out there.

Plo Koon:Father of all the clones. Loves them. Adores them. Loves Anakin’s Padawan. Loves everyone generally. Deserved better.

Ahsoka Tano:BADASS BITCH. Outfits on point. Holds lightsaber’s backwards, because she is awesome. Better than you. Kickass. Sarcasm is pouring out of her. Generally awesome.

Shaak Ti:Goddess. Spends time with clones, believing in them. Calm. Pretty. Classy. Deserves better.

Chocolate Croissant

Kim Yugyeom x Reader (Gender Neutral) 

Word Count: 3940

Genre: Fluff, Angst 

Under your breath, or at least you thought, you said, “What a prick for ordering the last chocolate croissant.”

Yugyeom and you have been close friends ever since he bought the last pastry, that you wanted, from your favorite cafe.

You were standing behind him in line barely paying attention to what was coming out of him mouth as he rattled off a long list of drinks and food to the cashier. It was not until he said the words chocolate croissant that your ears perked up. You have been looking forward to that chocolate croissant all week. And he was about to take the last one that they had. As he ordered the pastry you let out a sigh. There was nothing that you could do about it.

Under your breath, or at least you thought, you said, “What a prick for ordering the last chocolate croissant.” 

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The Contest-Part 20

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest.  They are doing open casting calls all over the country.  Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along.

A/N: My inspiration for Nikki is the one and only Red, AKA@oriona75.  So I am actually telling two stories here, Jared and Readers, and Sam and Gemini’s.  It flips back and forth, so try and keep up! :)

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader, Best friend Nikki(OC) Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Mark Pellegrino, Rory Montgomery (OC), PA Emily (OC) Cliff, Other Supernatural cast and crew

Master List

Part 1 (all parts are linked)

After much debate, Jared and Jensen had convinced me that it would be much more fun if we surprised Nikki and Misha with the wedding reception/baby shower.  “So what cover story do we use to get them there?” Jensen had asked.

“I got it!” Jared had said.  “It’s almost Y/N’s birthday, so we can say I am throwing her a party for her birthday and because she’s staying on the show.” 

“This is good.  We can work with this.  You can ask Misha and Nikki to be the ones who get me there.,  I’ll make it REALLY hard on them. Nikki will bitch, but Jensen you can say you’re helping Jared set up.”  My mind was already whirling with possibilities.

The entire cast and crew had been sworn to secrecy.  I honestly had my doubts as to whether we were gonna be able to pull this off. Mark Sheppard couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.  Ruthie Connell was so excited she could barely contain herself.  Amateurs!

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“We're Family” Glenn/Maggie x Daughter Reader

Word Count: 1,389

Parental Glenn/Maggie x Reader

Request: Could you do one where like the reader has been with the group since like Atlanta and she looks at Glenn and Maggie like parents and one day when all three of them are on a hunt she actually addresses one or both as ‘mom and/or ‘dad’ and is totally embarrassed but Glenn and Maggie both look like the happiest couple ever, saying that they looked at her like their own kid for a long time?

Warnings: Mentions of death, fluff

Originally posted by just-me-and-the-tv


Losing your parents was one of the hardest things you’ve ever experienced.

You were nine when the outbreak occurred. You, being so young, had no idea what was going on except for that a lot of people were dying. Your parents tried as hard as they could to keep you safe, and it worked for a while. They got you and themselves into a group that was formed just outside of Atlanta, and you all looked out for each other.

When you and the group arrived at Hershel’s farm, your mom promised you that everything was going to get better from there. You guys had actual shelter, food, and not many walkers came your way. You truly believed that everything was going to be ok. That was until the attack occurred on the farm. You had been inside the house with Carl when it began, your parents nowhere to be seen. When everyone fled, your parents didn’t get out. You were frozen and couldn’t move, but Glenn grabbed you last minute and took you with him.  

Ever since then, you’d seen Glenn as a father figure in your life. He took care of you after all of that and made sure you were always ok. It took you a while to warm up to Maggie, since you had a hard time opening to anyone after the death of your parents, but once you finally did she instantly became a mother to you. You’ll always miss your real parents, but Maggie and Glenn are absolutely amazing and you couldn’t ask for anyone better.

Things had been looking up ever since you arrived in Alexandria. Everyone was noticeably more relaxed and happier, including you. You finally felt like you could let your guard down. On most days, if you weren’t hanging around the other teenagers in Alexandria, you’d either be going on runs with Glenn or helping Maggie with the garden. Today, you obliged in going on a run with Glenn. You loved it in Alexandria but you also loved exploring outside of the walls and seeing what all was out there. You love adventure.

“You almost ready?” Glenn approached you in your room as you were finishing up tying your shoes. It was early in the morning and you were dead tired, but Rick always insisted on leaving as early as possible just in case it took longer than anticipated.

“I’m just putting on my shoes and then I’ll be ready to go. What’s Maggie doing today?” You ask, getting up off your bed.

“I convinced her to come with us. We don’t all get to spend too much time together much anymore, with all of us being so busy here. Plus, you’re always hanging around Carl.” Glenn winks at you, and you throw a pillow at him.

“I am not.” You roll your eyes. “We’ve been best friends for the longest time. Nothing more.”

Glenn is convinced that you and Carl are more than just friends, no matter how much you and try tell them that you’re not. In all honesty, he’s the only person around your age that has been there for you throughout these past six years. You have a pretty steady friendship.

“Don’t listen to him, he likes being annoying.” Maggie shows up in your doorway, leaning against the frame, smiling at the two of you.

“Ouch.” Glenn laughs, and he pulls you into a side hug, ruffling your hair with his fingers. “She knows I’m just joking around.”

“Are we all ready to go?” You ask, taking your backpack from the floor and putting it on your back. You put your gun into your holster, along with a small knife. You could never be too careful.

“Yeah. We’re meeting Rick by the main gate.” Maggie says, and the three of you walk out of your shared house and into the street.

You meet with Rick and discuss your game plan, which basically consisted of taking any and all medications that we could find in the pharmacy. We were running low and the doctor needed more supplies.

The drive to the pharmacy wasn’t too long, only fifteen minutes or so. The outside of it was old and very run down looking, but you weren’t expecting anything different. Just hopeful that the needed supplies weren’t already ransacked by a different group.

“I’ll go in first. Glenn, you come in after me. I’ll go left and you can go right so we can cover both sides of the place. Maggie, go straight to the middle of the store. Y/N, just stay with Glenn and help cover him.” Rick orders, and you follow instructions. You know that your job is significantly less than the others, but at least Rick is letting you go with them. He used to never let you accompany them on runs because you were “too young.”

You follow Glenn into the store, and the path is relatively clear of walkers. There were a few stray ones, but nothing that you two couldn’t take care of with a few stabs of your knives.

“Jackpot.” You murmured and pointed to the wall filled with bottles of pills.

“Just start putting stuff in your bag, anything will be helpful.” Glenn says. You start grabbing the pills, along with other medical supplies. You shove them into your backpack, hoping that some of these will be helpful.

You two then go behind the counter of the actual pharmacy in the back where they presumably kept all of the prescription pills. You do the same as you did in the aisle and start to grab the bottles and put them into your bag. One of the bottles looked slightly different than the others, and you picked it up to inspect it.

“Hey dad, what’s-“ You pause, shutting your mouth instantly.

You just called Glenn your dad for the first time in your life. You’d never called him dad before, or called Maggie your mom. You were always too embarrassed that they’d think it was weird, or even worse, that they didn’t think of you as their daughter.

Your face turns bright red as Glenn noticeably freezes in his tracks, turning around and facing you.

“Did you just call me dad?” He has an unreadable expression on his face.

“Uh, y-yeah, I’m sorry…” You mumble, looking down at the ground. The embarrassment you were feeling was like none you had ever experienced.

Suddenly, you’re met with Glenn’s body crashing into yours, his arms wrapping around you. You hug him back but you’re very confused.

“Maggie, come here!” Glenn yells, still not letting go of you. Maggie comes sprinting over to you, a look of worry on her face, but she instantly relaxes when she sees that both of you are alright.

“Y/N, you don’t ever need to be sorry for saying that, ever. You are our child. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t blood-related- you are our kid. And we love you so, so much. More than you know.” Glenn still doesn’t pull away from you. Maggie’s face brightens up and a huge smile takes place of the worried look that was there before.

“So I can call you guys my mom and dad?” You say, hope forming in your chest.

“We would love that.” Maggie joins the hug. “We’re family. We’ve been family ever since that night on the farm.”

“I love you guys so much.” You can feel tears forming in your eyes.  

Normally, anybody bringing up that night just put you in a bad mood. It made you think of your parent’s death. But this time was different. It made you think of the night that you got Glenn and Maggie. It made you think happy thoughts instead of depressing ones. They’re the light in your darkness.

They’re family.

I want to say that I am truly sorry to those who loved Stefan and Elena. I am not saying this out of a gloating place because my ship was endgame and yours was not. I am not saying this out of anything but a sincere heart. I know what it is like to ship something for so many years only to be bitterly disappointed and livid and heartbroken. Not only that, but Stefan sacrificed himself.

This pain is very real, and do not let anyone make fun of you for feeling this over a TV show. Or over a couple as epic as Stefan and Elena were. The man who brought Elena out of her depression and misery, and made her feel again. And for Stefan, Elena brought color and magic and love back into his life. She loved him unconditionally, and showed him what a great love was made out of.

Yes, Stelena went through ups and downs and trial and error, but they did love each other and I truly believe that with all of my heart. I think Stefan loved both his brother and Elena so much that he wanted them to experience life together knowing that his was about to come to a close. 

Their journey, their ups and downs and fights and make-ups was awesome. Even though I did not ship them on the same kind of scale that most of you did, I still appreciated many of their moments from seasons 1-3. It was hard to resist something that was so inherently pure and loving. So yes, even though I ship the opposing ship and am thrilled at my endgame, I also mourn for you. I am so sorry.  My best friend is an SEr, and I ache for her.

But, in the words of Albus Dumbledore, happiness can be found even in the darkest of times. In the afterlife, I truly am convinced that Elena was reunited with everyone that she loved. Not just Damon and her family, but also Stefan. How could her forever not include him?!? 

I’ve run out of words to say in this post without making it seem rambling, but truly know that this Delena Shipper also happens to sympathize with those who ship Stelena. 

I love you all!


I stopped wishing on dandelions when I was ten years old,
That was when I realized that it wasn’t doing anything for me.
I looked to the center of a flower and asked it to bring my brother home.
I sat at my window for a week waiting,
And when he didn’t come,
I collected all of the dandelions I could find in my apartment complex and burned them in the street.
It felt good to watch their betrayal go up in flames.
I never asked why it didn’t work,
I never even thought to question why I was asking a flower to raise the dead in the first place.
It was just that my grandpa taught me to pluck dandelions and close my eyes as tight as I could,
If I kept my wish a secret, and wanted it with all my heart, it was bound to come true.
My grandpa cried when he found me burning dandelions in the street,
Cried even harder when I asked him why he lied to me.
I haven’t wished on a dandelion since I was ten,
Saw white horses and called them blind faith instead of beautiful.
I stopped finding everything beautiful until I met him.
He has eyes like dandelions and a laugh like roses.
He looked at me and turned away,
I thought I was okay with it.
I looked at him and saw blind faith and he makes my heart run like white horses and he
Does not see me.
I spend way too much time trying to convince myself that he is not breaking my heart because my best friend taught me never to show that to anyone but
He is breaking my heart.
And I am licking the shattered pieces from the ground and giving them back to him every time he kisses me.
She is beautiful,
Has skin like flower petals and a smile like wishing wells,
He drops pennies in her and I don’t think he realizes that those kind of wishes don’t come true it,
does not seem fair that only my wish would not come true.
She is what he wishes for and she adores him.
I remember when I promised myself never to hope again but hell,
When I met him I almost wished on a dandelion,
I counted lucky pennies,
Sat on the edge of a wishing well and stared at a full moon like it was tempting me,
I brushed my hair with a wishbone and I,
guess a heart never learns when to stay broken.
But my best friend taught me not to bend for anyone and I wouldn’t dare let him know that he has power over me,
So I will say nothing,
Would braid her hair like promises if it meant he would smile at me and would wish them luck if it meant his heart would warm for me,
I would abandon my hatred for blind faith if he was the path I was following but I am only a stepping stone to him.
My best friend taught me not to bend but my grandpa taught me not to give up so like a fool,
I am walking in a garden.
I have started collecting dandelions.
I left my armor of matches at home and I am sitting in a rain of leaves,
I hold my breath as not to wish on them until I am ready,
I opened a pack of cigarettes before I left home and smoked my lucky before any of the others,
When I’ve finished,
I think I’ll try a dandelion.

hello friends
out of boredom (or being enabled) i am doing ten extra tags (+1 (i may have enjoyed this too much) of my bias
in this case i’ll just do one of them (if you guys tag me ill do the other bias)

  • fdlsajkf best 9 seconds of my life
  • things im soft for: jun and jun in plaid
  • junmemehui
  • soy milk killer kisser
  • I am here for the soft jun
  • anytime I see photos from this era I’m convinced jun can’t be a real person
  • blonde jun yesss
  • jun too fab
  • jun jun jun jun jun *to the beat of boom boom where they pick their shirt*

tagging: @mystarsandmoonhao @kwon-grandma @momjeonghan @citruseungkwan @leejihxxn @junhan @nacseo-scrawl @jeongjarsofhannie @angelyoons @tswoondere  @wooziology if you guys want to


Let me break it down for you guys…

To the HV fans who keep calling me a “jealous fangirl” because of my post… I can not stress enough how wrong you guys are. I did not make my post to “justify my hatred” towards them because they are girls. Believe me, there is nothing more in the world that I want than to have girls who rock in the music industry…. but these girls are not good people. They USE people to get what they want. And my rage against them has been building up since BEFORE I was a 5SOS fan. (FYI, I was a huge CB fan.)

When I get into a new band/artist I do my research on them. To their music, their interviews, to anything because I am new to them. I just want to get to know them. With Cherri Bomb it was really easy because they were very open with their fans and they put everything online. So open, that Nia’s old Tumblr (before she redid it) had a very detailed story about how she felt when her dog died in her “About Me” (Just to give you an idea about how open they were.) 

The Lovelis clan have tried and failed to get a reality TV show… Hmmm, I wonder why? It’s almost as if they’re only interested in being “famous”… Julia’s dream is to make music for a lifetime, while the girls dream is to be celebrities… Don’t make up excuses for them, it’s there in black and white. (I got this information from Ana Lovelis’s personal FB page, btw.)

My post was created to inform people on HV and of course my opinion was going to be present because I DO have one (And I’m allowed one)… I am a music fan just like you guys… I am a child of the internet just like you guys… We are the consumers and we have the power to make or break them. The “rumors” came straight from the girls. Like I said before, they were so open on the internet. I got all my information from them and a lot of the girls friends. The sources were not cited because I didn’t want to put them on blast, but they do exist guys… they speak with Julia on social media all the time; they’ve got nothing to hide. They are real and they know more than any of us because they were there when the shit went down. On the other hand, the HV girls have not addressed these so-called “rumors”… there’s just so much dirt on them on the internet they can’t escape it (yet they choose to ignore it.) They threw themselves under the bus. It’s not hard to put the pieces together, everything is provided for you via their social media accounts/Cherri Bomb youtube video comments.  This is not something I made up so you guys can hate on them. I’m literally on your side. You and I are the listeners/buyers why should I not speak up and let you guys know what kind of people they are? I just don’t want more people to go through what the old Cherri Bomb fans (myself included) went through. They are just a problematic band full of giant egos. And don’t get me started on the mom’s (Nia, Rena, and Miranda’s) they played a big role in Julia’s “departure”… And as far as claiming that the girls are still “friends/good terms”… right, that’s why they follow each other on social media and talk to one another all the time… makes perfect sense. Of course Julia would never speak ill on those girls because she’s a professional and she will not sink to their level and become the “bad guy” they claimed her to be. (Just pointing out the obvious.) 

The “creative differences” has been used as an excuse by many bands before, usually by bands who have been a band for years and have many albums out… (any band/group who doesn’t fit in that description are no longer a working band/group, simply because they are not able to work out their problems and the consumers don’t want to waste their time on something set up for failure from the get-go.) It just doesn’t make sense for them to use that old Hollywood excuse when they were a baby band on the rise with ONE album out. They definitely could have changed up their sound for their second album. Seriously if you’re still a non-believer ask Julia on twitter, “was it creative differences that made you leave your own band?” (although she’s already answered this Q plenty of times!!) Go ahead, I dare you. In fact, when my post came out, someone asked her on twitter if it was true and she favorite it (twitter rant version). Later, she tweeted out a personal statement on the matter… While Rena, hours after the post was made, she tweeted out saying something about being “grateful all the time” and “can only look to the future and not dwell on the past.” (verbatim) …Is that an apology? Is that a denial? No, neither. Sounds more like she can’t deny the facts.

So no, I am not just some “jealous” fangirl or a “bully” hiding behind a screen as some of you have said about me indirectly… My opinion on HV stands and no one can convince me otherwise. Not even MIRANDA’S BEST FRIEND could properly defend them when he sent me messages… him or Amourrette. My ask box is open and I’m open to hearing your opinion. I’m not here to pick fights with you guys, I am on your side.

And for those saying, “it’s about the music and not the artist…” how does that make sense? I am honestly asking because as far as I know the music comes with the artist and the artist comes with the music; it’s a packaged deal. No one likes a problematic artist/person, for example:

Iggy Azalea, Chris Brown, Wendy Williams, Robyn Thicke, Perez Hilton, etc….

Man, they must know someone high and mighty in the industry to get this third shot as a “new and improved” band (Red Shadow, Cherri Bomb, and now Hey Violet.) In fact, I do believe they know someone “high and mighty” because they had a meeting with Capitol Records long before 5SOS was even on their radar, and they kept them in the back burner until they found the “right fit” for the girls and now having 5SOS to their label and being very successful (in their own right), I guess they found this to be the “right fit” for that recycled wanna-be band. (and yes, I got this information from one of their personal FB accounts that has since been re-made. You can choose to believe me or not, idc.)

Of course the boys HAVE TO “like” them, support/promote them because their signed to THEIR label, it would be a BAD BUSINESS MOVE if they didn’t.

The girls have been given PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITIES to face the problem head on and excuse their behavior and apologize (or at least deny it) not only about their problematic past/present, but also Rena’s hair controversy.. she was given the chance multiple times to explain herself and she chose to turn the other cheek (as always)… when the old CB fans finally had enough, they confronted Nia (on one of her many, many social media accounts) asking her to “please just cut the bs/lies, we know what you guys did, for whatever reason, why don’t you just fess up to it and apologize?” And Nia responded (getting defensive and deflecting the question) with, “you’re fucking crazy if you think one person (Julia) built all of this, there’s a big machine behind it and a lot of work to put into it.” Just to show you how jealousy and greed can ruin a band/group, one of the girls also stated that, “CB was never suppose to be about one lead singer; it was suppose to showcase all of our talents.” 

Cherri Bomb Traklist:

Stark EP

Mirror, Mirror - Julia, lead vocals

Already Dead - Rena, lead vocals

Let it Go -Julia, lead vocals

Spin - Julia, lead vocals

The Pretender (Foo Fighters cover) - Rena, lead vocals

This Is The End Of Control (Debut album)

Take This Now - All do vocals

Better This Way - Julia, lead vocals

Raw. Real. - Julia and Rena take turns as lead vocals

Shake The Ground - Julia, lead vocals

Too Many Faces - Julia, lead vocals

Let It Go - Julia, lead vocals

Sacrificial Lamb (full song) - Nia, lead vocals

Act The Part - Rena, lead vocals

Drawing A Blank - Julia, lead vocals

Heart Is a Hole - Julia, lead vocals

Paper Doll - Miranda, lead vocals

Hold On - Rena, lead vocals


P.S. Before anyone dares to tell me my post sounds like when someone did that post with Michael’s old tweets, here’s the DIFFERENCE:

Michael wrote those tweet out of ignorance and has since shown character development.

On the other hand the HV girls were old enough to know right from wrong (Miranda, 17/18 yrs. old, Nia, 15/16 yrs. old, Rena, 14/15 yrs. old… 2012/2013) And lets not forget the participation of Gloria and Ana (nia, rena, and miranda’s 40 something yr. old moms.) YET they still chose to be bullies, chose being the operative word here. 

(To everyone claiming they’ve “changed” because they’re being nice to the (new) fans, OF COURSE THEY’RE GOING TO ACT THE PART ACCORDINGLY, getting you guys to like them is the goal here!!!)

Miranda is the oldest and saw herself as the “mother figure” and still participated and Nia has been of victim of bullies and yet stood by her sister and participated as well. There is NO IGNORANCE in this only BIGOTRY, because they’re aware of the problem, yet see nothing wrong with it and continue to ignore the situation. They’ve convinced themselves the lie they told is the truth. Their sense of ENTITLEMENT is what annoys me to no end; they think they’re BETTER than everyone else…


I have never been more embarrassed to even be adjacent to the fandom

Cole and KJ are very likely together and unless you literally need to watch them make out on camera, this shouldn’t be up for discussion anymore. And yet, this stupid fandom is looking at a photo where Cami literally had to grab Cole’s face so he was looking at the camera rather than kissing KJ and said “Awe, such a bromance, this could have been Lili and Cole’s wedding” 

Do you hear yourselves? Usually, I advocate for coming out, but for the first time in my entire life, I hope the CW execs don’t let them, I am convinced this fucking fandom would literally blame Cole for hurting Lili if he and KJ came out. Do you even understand how fucked up that is? 

Shut the fuck up about Sprousehart, cause though you aren’t hurting their friendship, you are making it impossible for two best friends to spend time together. 

It’s 2017, gay people exist in real life, shocking, I know. Don’t tell me I’m fucking assuming, I’m not. I could be wrong, I’d be really confused, but it is possible. However, standing next to each other and going to a museum together does not equal dating, it barely equals friends. 

At Wondercon, Cole was bored as hell. Newsflash, celebs HATE press day. Have you noticed that he and KJ are not allowed to do interviews together alone anymore? Of course, you haven’t. Just like everything else you only care if Lili is involved. If you never /look/ at your friends like that? I kind of question your friendships. You giffed things that lasted for less than a second and said, “Oh My God they are staring at each other!”

Lili is likely queer too, but again no one paid attention to that either. Queer friends often act really close, it never means they are dating. Stop taking nothing and making it something. There are young gay boys out there who could really use a non-flamboyant role model and under 27 that doesn’t really exist in the entertainment industry. KJ could be that. 

Give these men a chance to be themselves and don’t fucking be that Sprousehart who blames Cole for hurting Lili. I have never seen a more homophobic fandom and I hope I never do again. Just think about your actions. And how insane they actually are. If you come away from reading this with just a little more awareness, well, at least there is that. 

Its In the Stars to Make Our Own Destiny

It’s In the Stars to Make Our Own Destiny | Dan and Phil meet at a support group for those whose soulmates have had their soulmarks removed, but Phil’s got a secret that could get him kicked out, and Dan’s only there because his parents are trying to force him to find his match. In the end, they’ll find happiness in each other – and maybe a little more. | Phan | Teen and Up | 6,219 Words

Disclaimer: In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil.

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living w/ borderline personality disorder

This is my own story, and I’m writing it a little bit so I can say something to someone who won’t speak to me, and also just cuz i wanna share my experience having bpd. 

Friendships- Friendships for me aren’t as hard as relationships, but they have their difficulties. People feel like they have to love me from a distance because if they get too close, I’m very time consuming and energy draining. I get angry when I’m triggered and push people away, very meanly. I think they forget it is also tiring for me to always be mad or upset about tiny things that don’t matter, and then I hate myself later. 

Here’s my main issue- When I’m having a bpd episode, I believe from the bottom of my heart that my anger, or my irrationality is REASONABLE. Then, a few days later I will break down and realize I was wrong and it was totally unreasonable, and I hate myself for it. I’ve also lost many people over it, including my best friend. 

Relationships- Relationships are hard. I fall for people quickly, and I usually ruin my relationships quickly. I need attachment and love, and I look for it in ways that probably aren’t very healthy, but I can’t help it. I fight with them, or I repeatedly ask them questions like “do you love me?” or “do you still wanna talk to me?” and then they get annoyed, because I never believe them when they say they do. I convince myself I’d be better without them, because everyone around me can see how distraught I am, which is NOT their fault, and I cut them off randomly, or say something mean to push them away. Then they don’t want to talk to me anymore because they think I meant it and they don’t understand that what I say when I’m angry is pretty much NEVER true. 

I go from feeling extreme love to extreme hatred for them, and it’s confusing to me too. They didn’t do anything wrong, but sometimes I get triggered or the fact that they’re ignoring me, even if it’s for a good reason, sets me off. I CANNOT BE IGNORED. I need attention. I live and breathe off of attention, especially when it’s from my favorite person. Texts from them can either send me into pure happiness or extreme depression. Sometimes I want to die just because my brain says the way they sent one message without a smiley face means they hate you and don’t ever wanna talk to you again. Then I push them away because that’s what I think they want. 

I’ve been told I’m unlovable, abusive, manipulative, unkind, and tiring. People say that it is is exhausting to talk to me. I understand that. It’s exhausting to be me. 

Bottom line: Having borderline means I feel every emotion much stronger than others. This is not always a bad thing, but society says it is. It also means I can love with all my heart and I will be loyal to someone until I die. It means I feel compassion and understanding to levels that some people can’t. But it also means that when I’m sad I want to die, which means I’m suicidal a lot. It also means that when I’m angry, I’m ruthless and cruel. 

The thing I wish people understood, however, is that I do not want to hurt them. I am not abusive, because it is something I cannot control. It is an illness in my brain that I will live with for the rest of my life, and how should that make me not worthy of love? 

Treatment: Borderline personality disorder is hard to diagnose, because it can look like a lot of different things. This is why I have not gotten medication or therapy for bpd UNTIL NOW. This is why I’ve not known how to handle it. It can look like the many things I mentioned above, but it can be lessened and it can be MANAGED. It will never go away, but I’m learning ways to fix it, because I don’t want to lose someone like I lost Megan, and I don’t want to keep hurting my friends and confusing people. 

Trust me, this is something I don’t want to have. It tires me out daily and stops me from doing many things that I’d enjoy doing. It’s like any other mental illness, but it is a personality disorder, meaning my personality is not set in stone and it also means I can be unpredictable. 

I just wish I was easier to love. I promise I’m not doing this on purpose or for attention. This is a part of me that I hate, because I want love so badly, but I was biologically coded to push away those who love me. 

-Darian Rehder

anonymous asked:

Hi ladies, I am gutted by Quinn's death. Based on the THR RF interview and the FB LIVE, it was the show runners that decided to kill Q and not RF wanting to leave. I want to send a letter to Showtime to express my feelings and to advise them I have cancelled my subscription. Would you know the best and most impactful way to send my feedback to them?

I was so convinced that the only reason they could kill Quinn was if Rupert Friend wanted to leave, you know? And I was SO wrong. 

We are not communication experts, but if you cancel your subscription to Showtime, send a mail stating why - in the most rational, calm way you can. If we sound angry, we sound irrational. Explain why you think Homeland didn’t hold its promises, or threw away years of character development… or any other reason that is, you know, yours.

Then go on Twitter. That’s where the action is right now (follow @sho_homeland) and express your disappointment, again, in a rational way (and in less than 140 characters)! Then retweet all the other disappointed viewers… there are tons of them.

It also doesn’t hurt to show your support on the Rupert Friend Interview Facebook page, too. Good luck!

Tired of it All

Word Count: 2,542


Warnings: Demon reader, stabbing, language, and lots of cuteness ;)

Request: Can you please do a fanfic where the reader is a demon but she’s sick of it so she goes to the Winchesters to cure her and they have a fight over if they should trust her but they’re convinced. She helps them with cases but then they think she tricked them (she didn’t) and they stab her then Cas defends her. (She is human at the end and she and Sam fall in love) Work your magic baby! ;D

A/N: I truly am sorry that this took longer than it was supposed to but here ya go. I hope that it was what you were looking for! I tried my best with this one and thank you to my lovely friend winchestertrials-spnfics  for helping me out with the ending :*

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My inferior Fe does really weird things sometimes. Like, for months I won’t miss anyone and am convinced that I could live my entire life in solitude. But then eventually I get lonely and literally every time I interact with anyone I get super fixated on them. Like, did I meet a semi-attractive person? I’m going to marry them, or at least date them for months. Did someone say hi to me? Best friend for life. And then inevitably none of the people actually like me so I just go back to pretending I have no feelings again.

Let you go |

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Requested! Jungkook asks his wife for a divorce when his family approved first love comes back. 

Genre: Angst

Authors Note: This was requested by anon here:  Sorry this took so long. I’ve re-written this so many times and it’s a tiny bit different fromt the request and I apologise, but I hope you like it anyway. - Elle 

It was a mess. A complete mess.  Yoongi had to step over the remnants of broken photo frames, strewn clothing, piles and piles of tissues amongst other things. There were more empty soju bottles than he wanted to count, that was a sure way to completely destroy your insides. Then there you were, in an exhausted ball on the bed, tear streaks dried upon blotchy cheeks. It had been weeks and yet you still struggled to complete the simplest of daily tasks. Your husband had left you. You were heartbroken and an absolute mess and it showed. Your hair was left tangled and unwashed, the skin of your cheeks constantly in an alternating state of saturated and streaked with dry tears when you were completely worn out. You looked thinner and underneath your eyes grew to a deeper purple each day. 

Yoongi had watched it all unfold, from your shy flirting to your blossoming romance, your marriage, all the way up to the moment where you were begging Jungkook not to leave you for another woman. He felt sorry for his friend, he could do nothing else but be there for you. Time would heal all wounds, and he would help you do that. And he had, every day he would find time and check in on you, he’d often stay nights on your couch to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid. He felt so guilty, if only he kept both of his best friends away from each other, this might not have happened. Now he was losing both of you, Jungkook grew apart from him as soon as Soojung came into the picture. He’d spent less and less time liking who Jungkook was becoming. And you, you were not his best friend you were someone that looked and acted like a half-dead version of the girl he was best friends with. He honestly hated it all. 

Keep reading


I’ve decided that 2017 is going to be the year that I become more confident in my own skin. This is me. I was born with what is called an upper body deficiency that is genetic, my dad is the same way. Early on in high school, I began battling with depression. This battle is still on going at times, but I have made tremendous headway in the battle. In March of 2016, I was convinced by some friends to start coming to the gym with them, and after being asked many many times, I finally gave in. Me giving in was the best decision that I ever made. Getting into working out and fitness in general may have saved my life. I dove head first into it and I never looked back at all and I fully believe that saved my life. If there is any anyone who is struggling with depression and needs to talk to someone, I am here. All that aside, 2017 is going to be a year full of even more gains, and I can’t wait.

I am one of many people who was very highly anticipating the solo effort from Harry Styles. I’m coming at it from a slightly different perspective, however, because I am not a One Direction fan. I enjoy some of their songs, with many thanks to my best friend who convinced me, after years of adamant refusal, to give them a chance. 

You see, I’m old. And old people are quite usually set in their ways, and because I still think there’s never going to be a better modern boyband than *NSYNC, I was being very stubborn.

“Drag Me Down” was the first song I willingly listened to and enjoyed, and I moved backward from there, gaining a certain kind of appreciation for what I heard, and taking some songs to keep along the way.

Harry Styles has a unique voice and range, and it’s well suited for many genres and expressions, and to me stood out among the other voices. 

When One Direction took hiatus, memories of the *NSYNC “hiatus” came flooding back to me like a horrible nightmare, and I knew that while Zayn would be the Timberlake of the group, that meant Harry would be JC Chasez.

I don’t mean to keep comparing 1D to *NSYNC, so I’ll just say that while Justin’s first album was great, it was also very predictable if you knew anything about him, while JC chose to go completely left of center for Schizophrenic, a title which aptly described the album contents. I see a similar path here.

Now, to my reason for writing this. Harry’s first single. “Sign of the Times” was released today, April 7th, to a mass of fans who’d been holding their breath since the teaser promo came out.

The lyrics are insanely timely and relevant, considering all the harrowing changes that have occurred in this world in the last few years. Wars continue to get worse, countries secede from unions, human rights granted have been removed, authorities are more like villains instead of the heroes they have been advertised to us as. Now I don’t know that’s the direction he was coming from when this was written, but it has come out at a very important time in history.

Musically, however, it is a bit over produced. Prior to its release, I’d heard a lot of comparisons to David Bowie, which is a huge leap to make as a PR rep marketing to the people who might not have given Harry a chance due to his musical past. It’s less of a leap when you actually hear the track, but you can also hear that it was most definitely the sound they were going for, instead of letting it happen more organically. 

I do truly think it would have happened organically because Harry tends to lend himself to that kind of style, aesthetically. It isn’t a stretch to think he’s influenced musically by that era of music, as he himself has said he was. I think the producers just got a little carried away with making it a huge revelation. 

It leans heavily on the emotional weight of songs like “Life On Mars” and “Starman”, though it might be hard to recognize the latter, since “Sign of the Times” is quite slow. It could have been sped up about a half a step to keep it from dragging the way it does.

Vocally, this is the strongest I’ve ever heard Harry. Again, reminder, this is coming from someone who is not a 1D fan. But of the songs I’m familiar with, this towers above the rest. Even “Drag Me Down”, which upon first listen gave me goosebumps, the vocals he gives on this track are beautifully rounded and full. He makes sounding like a one man auditorium seem effortless. The sweeps in the background join his voice nearly seamlessly and give an airy, lightweight quality to his performance.

The song is good, but as with most freshman solo efforts, there are things that could be improved on. I’m looking forward to the rest of the album, because if my past experience is anything to go on, album tracks tend to be better than singles in situations like this. He gets an A for effort. I just hope he pulls back on the overproduction for his sophomore album, which I am very prematurely excited for.

ok listen to me, people, listen

voltron rock band au

  • Keith is the guitarist and is way too obsessed w his guitar like i’m talking he got it custom-made and keeps it locked up and only he has the key and he does some sort of ritual before every show with just him and his guitar and everyone thinks he’s fuckin’ weird but he’s probably some guitar-playing prodigy so they let him do his thing
  • Pidge is the drummer and has wicked arm muscles and they can drum fast enough that ur ears bleed and u just don’t fuck around with Pidge because their constant threat is shoving a drumstick up ur ass and everyone knows they’ll do it 
  • Shiro is the lead singer because hello, look at him, he probably has the voice of a raspy angel sent from sex god heaven or smth?? look at him
  • Hunk as the bassist and is just as chill as usual and is suuuper good and he gives off ~good vibes~ but he also does back up vocals (and damn can this kid sing ok like he sounds like crystallized honey or something else equally incredible)
  • They’re called The Paladins and they’re kind of “underground famous” and had like one hit that was in the top ten on the charts for a couple weeks so like they’re recognized but they aren’t constantly swarmed, y’know?? and they like it like that bc it means they can play at a lot of local venues from their hometown and be able to relax and enjoy it
    • work with me ok they all grew up in the same small shitty town and got bored enough in high school to make a garage band and then figured out that they actually weren’t that bad and made a mixtape and sent it to a friend of a friend of a friend who sent it to someone who was actually important and came out to see them play and hired them on the spot bc why not
  • Lance is a groupie/super fan who has followed them on YouTube since they had 93 subscribers and has watched their rise to fame and has been low-key (read: high-key) obsessed with them for years
  • He finally finds out that they’re playing a gig half an hour from where he lives so he convinces his friends Rolo and Nyma to come with him because this is the first time they’ve been within a three-hundred-mile radius of me, Nyma, do you think i’m gonna pass this up DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ok Lance calm down
  • The three of them watch their gig in this run-down theater with a too-loud sound system and shitty lights but it is the best performance Lance has ever seen in his life and he would die for this band ok 
    • he has one of their lyrics tattooed on his right shoulder: “never be who they want you to be, you’re not you when you’re faking it
    • that song changed his life and made him realize it was okay to be bisexual and to not fight to live up to anyone’s expectations but his own and it empowered him to become comfortable with himself and who he is and to come out to his family and this band is so important to him
  • Somehow, someway, Lance hears there’s gonna be an afterparty with the band at this club a few blocks away and Lance decides that he will truly pay a cab driver to run him over tonight if he doesn’t get into that party
  • He gets into the party
  • It’s like a blacklight party or smth and when he snuck in, some girl came up to him and smushed his face between her hands and covered him with glowing face paint and he can barely recognize anyone but the one thing Lance is certain of is that no one has a mullet quite like Keith Kogane, even if he is covered in fluorescent purple paint
  • Lance manages to flirt his way into a conversation with Keith (who is absolutely wasted because Pidge challenged him to do shot-for-shots with them and he forgot he was a lightweight so he’s unusually giggly and not quite as angry/angsty/whatever as Lance expected him to be) and Keith keeps up a playful banter until he gets bored and hooks his arm around Lance’s neck and drags him on the dance floor and grinds on Lance so dirtily that Lance nearly cries 
  • They make out for the entire night until Hunk comes to drag Keith back to their tour bus because they have a gig the next town over tomorrow and he knows Keith is sloshed and probably needs monitoring
    • Lance looks so devastated when Hunk is leading Keith away that when Lance follows them outside to see them off, Hunk goes back to offer to put him on the guest-list for tomorrow’s show
      • Lance doesn’t know that it’s been 84 years since Keith has shown interest in anyone and Hunk is hoping that sober-Keith will enjoy Lance’s presence as well and also Hunk thinks Lance seems like a cool guy so why not? (we love Hunk)
  • Lance manages to convince Rolo and Nyma to do another show because hello they’re on the guest list?? and Lance goes up to them after the show and Hunk brings him backstage and Lance is just gushing about how amazing they all are and Shiro and Pidge are nice to him and they’re all sitting in the back room and Keith finally asks “who the fuck are you and why are you here” and Shiro’s like “Keith pls” and Keith is like “no he’s annoying why is he backstage with us rn” and Lance dies that day
  • Basically I just want me a nice cross country road-trip with a band and groupie!Lance who becomes one of their friends and who fights with Keith on their tour bus every night and Keith tries to kick him off at every one of their stops but the rest of them are like “Keith” so eventually Keith warms up to Lance too and finally Hunk lets it slip that this was the guy from that one time and Keith is like “oh” and he finally stops ignoring the fact that he likes likes Lance
    • their first real kiss is when Keith wakes up to Lance sneaking off the tour bus at 3am and he follows him to find out that Lance likes to sit on the top of the bus on the nights that they’re parked outside whatever city/town they had a concert in so he can stargaze
    • Keith joins him on the roof of the bus and they sit cross-legged and talk about nothing and everything and eventually Keith finds that he can’t stop staring at Lance’s face covered in moonlight so he just leans over and kisses him and it’s so perfectly them
  • I just want this really bad

Originally posted by syubprince

Members : All of BTS

Genre: Pretty much everything fluff, angst - whatever it is Including smut of course

Word Count: 1965


I was writing just because I wanted to write. It was a way for me to stay close with the idol I liked. I mean a girl could dream, couldn’t she? When I started my blog and shared it it didn’t get much attention at first. Somehow day by day it grew bigger.

It got to the points I had thousands of messages for it. People were counting days for the new chapters and expectations were really high.

At first I had no idea how could I handle that much like and comment but I just decided to keep doing what I was until then. People were real sad when it came to an end. I got tons of messages praising the whole thing.

After two days of the end I also got a mail which was written “WE HAVE GOT AN OFFER” for the notice. Thinking it was about advertisement I rolled my eyes but oppened it anyways. I took a sip from my latte and just spilled it when I realized what it actually was.

One of the biggest movie company wanted to turn my fiction into a movie. A fucking movie ! I was not reading wrong ! Having no idea how should I respond I just wrote that I wanted to talk details and they arranged a meeting.

The Meeting Day

My car growls as I stop in front of the huge, all glass building. This place is totally first class and doesn’t suit me at all, I think as I hand the keys to the vale. The automatic, glass door slowly opens and I take a step in. The tapping sound of my heels echoes through the huge hall as I make my way to the sweet girl who kindly bows at me.

“Hello. How can I help you?”

I smile back at her.

“Hello…Ummm… I am here to talk to Mr Choi”

She asks my name before taking the phone in her hands. She talks briefly then smiles at me before hanging up.

“This way please”

We take the elevator to the 8th floor and she leads me to the huge door at the end of the long hall. She kindly knock and announces I am there. I walk in with a sweet smile and bow. The man sitting on the huge, leather chair seems he is in middle of forties.

“Take a seat.”

I do and he locks fingers as he begins talking, fixing his eyes to me.

“You already know we are interested in your fiction to make it a movie, don’t you?”

I nod then he goes on.

“We have professionals here to turn it into script. All we want is you to trust us.”

I bit my lip.

“I will… For sure… But how about the actors and actresses?”

He kindly smiles.

“Don’t worry… We will choose them with utmost care”

I think about it one second and ask.

“Will I be joining you in production?”

He raises an eyebrow.

“You want to be included in shares?”

I gently shake my head.

“Not like that… I mean I would like to be around during the shooting and cooperate with the director and script-writer”

He looks away and thinks a little bit, seems serious.

“That can be arranged. “

I smile as I bite my bottom lip.

“And one more thing… I want the head role to be the same”

The man in front of me furrows his eyebrows.

“You mean you want it to be the same person?”  Then he checks some papers in front of me as he murmurs “Who was it? Wait… Jeon JungKook?”

When I nod he shakes his head.

“You just need to convince the sponsor and director for him”

I suggest arranging a meeting tomorrow.

“… so I can meet them and we can go over the details together, isn’t it good?”

He accepts and I felt all light and peaceful just as I am walking out the huge building. I grab my phone to call my best friend. As soon as he answers Hoseok gets loud.

“Yah ! You little… You have been ignoring me for the last couple of days”

I giggle.

“Sorry Hobi… I was kinda busy. Something big happened”

He laughs.

“Ohh you finally got a boyfriend?”

He sarcastically asks. I squint even if I know he can’t see me.

“Hey don’t be a fucking savage. You know the fic I was writing, right?”

He goes a-huh and I go on.

“It’s about to become a movie”

He does not answer for a few seconds and what comes next is instant screaming.

“Whaaaaaaat… You serious? Wow man that’s amazing. We have to meet. Are you free for dinner?”

I try to remember if there is anything I should do.

“Umm… I guess so”

We meet at some shibby chic place and order something to eat. He fixes his hair by pushing it back as he sits in front of me and smiles.

“You better start talking”

I just tell him about the meeting as he refills our soju shots.

“Wait… They let you to keep Jeon as the head role?!”

I shake my head as he chews his bite like its the most delicious thing on earth.

“I don’t know yet. They told me that I should convince the sponsor and director for it. We have another meeting tomorrow.”

Hoseok asks who they are as he feeds me a bite of his meat and takes a pinch from mine.

“Who are they?”

When I say their name he seems impressed.

“Woah baby.Min YoonGi is an amazing director but I heard he is pretty strict about his work. It might not be easy to convince him.”

Losing my last shade of confidence and hope I frown.

“Really?” and lightly hit his left arm “Thanks, now I feel defeated already”

He brightly smiles at me as he makes those huge sweet eyes.

“Baby, I said it might be hard. I didn’t say you can’t do it. I am sure you will find a way to convince them”

I smile and we go on eating then he walks me to my home.

“Just get inside and I will leave then”

I just can’t help but hug him as I whisper a thank you. Which how I truely feel inside. I always am thankful to Hoseok for listening to me, for having faith in me when I even don’t have it in myself, for making me laugh and for caring about me through all the years we have been best  friends.

Feeling relieved I get inside. The night just does not pass as I am so damn excited. Sleep visits me pretty late so its hard for me to wake up by the morning. I wash my face and try to relieve some of the stress by cold water. I choose my clothes carefuly and do my make-up. Cheking myself on the mirror I believe I will make a good first-impression.

When I arrive the luxury huge building again I check my phone for time. There is still 15 minutes but I walk in anyways. The sweet girl welcomes me kindly then calls Mr Choi directly. When I make my way inside the meeting room. I see a few people already sitting around long dark wood table. Noone needs to introduce them because as I heard their names from Mr Choi I madem y research.

I bow gently as I introduce myself. Mr Choi smiles as he sees me.

“Here is the sweet owner of that famous story”

The man in casual clothes with bright green hair slightly moves his head as he says “Hey” then fixes his glasses.

That is Min YoonGi aka the legendary director who never misses success with his masterpieces.

There is another man with silver hair who keeps rolling the pen between his fingers.

“Hi” he says in a cool way.

He is NamJoon, the man most of the industry wants to write their scenarios.

The other man in a obviously expensive tux smiles at me kindly.

“Welcome dear”

Even if he simply sits I can tell he is tall. This is Kim SeokJin, a chebol that runs his fathers inherited business.

I smile back an take a seat as Mr Choi explains why I suggested the meeting. They listen and as soon as YoonGi hears the name Jeon JungKook he raises his eyebrows at me.

“I don’t want to be like this to such a sweet girl but… You want me to work with a guy that has no acting experience for shit?”

I bit down my lip and take a deep breath. You can’t back down now.

“I know that he has no experience at all but he is talented. Don’t you think he can pull it off?”

YoonGi looks away.

“Look I just can’t take the risk, ok?”

I try to find another way to convince him and decide to go with Seok Jin.

“Jin-ssi since you are the one supporting this you want the worth of your money, don’t you?”

He nods.

“Of course”

I smile.

“Don’t you think even his presence will make most of the girls watch it?”

He seems serious as if he weights some options in his head.

“Not sure about that honey. I am doing this because the director is YoonGi. I trust this guy and if he says so I believe he has a reason for it”

Having no other choice left I grab my phone, open one part of unedited the story. YoonGi seems indifferent as he takes the phone to check whatever it is. When he reads the first few paragraphs his eyes widen in surprise.

“Wait… You actually wrote this thing for him?”

NamJoon nods from his seat.

“Yeah, the names you saw was edited by me while I was working on the script of first chapter.”

YoonGi takes a deep breath as he gives my phone back. He closes his eyes as he takes his glasses off.

“I hope that I won’t regret this but fine… Still I can’t take much risk so I have one condition”

Everyone looks at him carefully as the room falls silent.

“You gotta hire Kim TaeHyung as the coach so he will help”

Mr Choi directly turns at Jin.

“Since you are the one in charge would you mind if we ask for a little more support?”

Jin shrugs.

“Thats fine by me but can you write the script through Jeon?”

He asks to NamJoon. NamJoon takes a deep breath and thinks deeply for a few seconds, seems lost.

“I guess I can but I will need her help”

I nod, telling him that I will be glad to help. Proud that I convinced them I leave the building in happiness after the meeting. A few days pass by pretty much the same. I hint NamJoon about JungKook, he writes then sends it to YoonGi and he approves.

In the meantime JungKook is offered the role and he accepts. Which means I am officially going to meet him at the script reading tomorrow.

When I carefully get ready and check my natural red lipstick and outfit for the hundredth time I walk in. Thinking that he might already be at the meeting room my hearth is pounding so crazy that it feelis like my chest will expolde at any moment. Thinking that I should calm down I make my way to the girls bathroom quickly but my shaky hands betray me as my phone falls down. Cursing myself mentally I just stay still instead of picking it up. While I am facing the cracked screen of my phone still laying on the ground someone picks it up.

When look up to face who picked it…