convert me to this religion

Why Panda converted to the Religion of Oumami
  • <p> <b>Me :</b> -sees ndrv3 official art of oumami-<p/><b>Me :</b> Awwwww ~ Bet they'll be like Mahiru and Hiyoko, brotherly relationship uwu<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees demo- Oh ! Ki-bo and Ouma, wasn't expecting that<p/><b>Me :</b> Cute I ship it---<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees that many ships them becoz of the dick joke-<p/><b>Me :</b> -is now neutral to Kiibouma-<p/><b>Me :</b> Oh ! SAIOUMAAAAAAA !!!<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees fans claiming Saiouma as Komahina 2.0-<p/><b>Me :</b> . . . . . . . . . Can't people ship characters without referring them to other ships ? Stop repeating the history itself ! Saiouma is unique of its own. . . . DONT. CALL. THEM. KOMAHINA 2.0.<p/><b>Me :</b> -is now neutral at Saiouma-<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Oumaede-<p/><b>Me :</b> -adds the ship to her like list- Perfect !<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Oumeno-<p/><b>Me :</b> Double shorties but meh-<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees ndrv3 chapter 1-<p/><b>Ouma :</b> WHO KILLED MY BELOVED AMAMI-CHAN ?!!! -cries-<p/><b>Me :</b> . . . . . I didn't see that coming<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Ouma's room-<p/><b>Me :</b> WOAAAAAAAAAH OUMAMI YAAAAAAS QUEEN YAAAAAAAAS THIS IS FRUKING NEW<p/><b>Me :</b> Otp of the year : Oumami<p/></p>
Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Travellers Book 6, Hadith 301

Narrated ‘Uqba b. 'Amir reported:
When we were in Suffa, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came out and said: Which of you would like to go out every morning to Buthan or al-'Aqiq and bring two large she-camels without being guilty of sin or without severing the ties of kinship? We said: Messenger of Allah, we would like to do it. Upon this he said: Does not one of you go out in the morning to the mosque and teach or recite two verses from the Book of Allah. the Majestic and Glorious? That is better for him than two she-camels, and three verses are better (than three she-camels). and four verses are better for him than four (she-camels), and to on their number in camels.

Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Travellers, Hadith 301/378

Maintaining Religion in the Face of Facts: Now You Can, Too!

A motivated Christian talked with me about coming back to Christianity. Surprisingly, not knowing anything about his religion didn’t convert me, but he also managed to maintain his belief. How does that happen? Well, this particular Christian broke it down for me. While he’s not as eloquent as some, his methods are the exact same as I encounter from even very well-spoken individuals. 

Christian: I choose Christianity
Me: I know you did. so how did you choose it? using what evidence?
X: I read the bible
Me: Do you know what leprosy is?
X: Yeah it’s is a disaster
Me: Right, it’s not a fun time. Tell me, if you contracted leprosy, what would you do?
X: Wat u mean???
Me: What would you do if you caught leprosy? How would you treat it?
X: I would pray to God to give me a miracle to take that away from me
Me: Why would you pray? Leprosy is 100% curable with modern medicine. Did you know that?
X: No
Me: It’s been curable since 1981. What if I gave you a choice between the medical treatment and ripping own a bird and putting the blood on your skin? Which one would you do? If I told you that you had to kill one bird, rip it open, and then take another bird, dip the live bird in the dead bird’s blood, and let the bird flap the blood onto you, would you do that to cure leprosy? Or would you take the medicine?
X: Medical treatment
Me: Why? Is it because birds are full of disease?
X: Yeah???
Me: Right. And that’s smart. But the bible says to do that…the bird blood. So the bible gives us advice that can harm us. You believe YHWH knows everything, so why not tell people how to cure leprosy? Why give a treatment that can make them even more sick?
X: Don’t know
Me: I do. It’s because many years ago, people used to think blood was really purifying. That’s why the bible (and other religions) ask for blood sacrifice. You know who also does bird blood for purification? Voodoo practitioners and priests. It’s common in many religions, and it’s just as unhealthy as ever. In fact, we had a type of virus mutate from birds and we can get sick from it. It killed many, many, many people in 1918. But the bible says to do it…same as every other old religion. By the way, it’s in Leviticus 14:7 if you want to read it yourself. I have another question: does the sun go around the earth, or does the earth go around the sun?
X: Earth go around the sun
Me: Right, but the bible says the sun goes around the earth.
X: In wat book chapter and verse
Me: Joshua chapter 10, verse 13
X: Alright
Me: Why would it say that?
X: Don’t know
Me: The bible even quotes another religious text to say that. It talks about the Book of Jasher, which is not in the bible. Hey, if I tried to grow a plant but put it in a dark room, would it grow or does a plant need sunlight to grow?
X: Sunlight to grow
Me: Right, but the bible says that YHWH created plants, and then later created the sun.
X: Right
Me: so why would he do that if he knows plants need sunlight to grow? It seems the bible was written by people who didn’t really understand the world. If the information came from an all-knowing god, then this wouldn’t be in there.
X: Oh
Me: That’s the same feeling I had when I was studying the bible. Jesus gets kinda angry and mean pretty often, to be honest. He acts like a jerk to his disciples and family,but the strange part is the gospels don’t all say the same thing. For example, they all disagree about his last words on the cross and Matthew wrote about a zombie uprising…but no one else did.
X: O
Me: did you know that?
X: No
Me: why not? You haven’t read your bible, have you? Everything I said today comes from the bible, but you didn’t know it was in there, why not? How can you say the bible is evidence of YHWH when you haven’t even read it?
X: The Bible is the word of God truth
Me: you haven’t even read it, though, so how can you say that? Besides, the sun doesn’t go around the earth. That’s not true, but the bible says it does. You don’t cure leprosy by throwing bird blood on people, but the bible says to do that. So that’s not true. So how can you say the bible is the truth when it has things in there that are factually wrong?
X: Prophecy are being fulfilled itself
Me: No they aren’t, there are unfulfilled prophesies in the bible. YHWH promised to destroy a city during King Nebuchadnezzar’s time…and it is still there. YHWH had promise for Abraham’s descendants, but the bible says they all died without it being fulfilled
X: Yeah they is prophecy are  being fulfilled itself
Me: That is false. Like I said, there are failed prophecies in the bible. The bible also says the Egyptians would all speak Hebrew. That is false.
X: U don’t know wat u talking about i know u don’t know
Me: I will cite the verses for you. Ezekiel 26:7-14 says king Nebuchadnezzar would destroy Tyre, but it still stands. Isaiah 7:1-7 says the king of Judah shall not be harmed, but in 2 Chronicles 28:1-8 it says he was harmed. Isaiah 19:18 says Egyptians will speak Hebrew. Genesis 12:7 says YHWH will give all the descendants a certain land, but Hebrews 11:13 says they didn’t get it (even though they were faithful). Even the bible itself states that some of the prophesies failed.
X: U wrong
Me: It isn’t me, this is the bible. If you think I am wrong, then you are saying the bible is wrong (and I agree with you).
X: The Bible never wrong the Bible is always right
Me: But you already pointed out how the bible is wrong, like with leprosy, plants, and the sun. And the unfulfilled prophesies are listed as unfulfilled right in the bible itself. You say the bible is always right but you haven’t even read it.
X: I read the bible every day so u can’t tell me nothing nothing literally nothing u don’t know wat u are doing i will pray for u right now I’m getting mad
Me: Why are you mad? When I told you some things in the bible, you didn’t know they were there. If you studied your bible, you would have known.
X: So tell me where did people came from i’m testing u now

Get angry and change the subject: the greatest method for keeping one’s religion alive

Christians let me make super clear to you since you seem to not be getting the message:

Jesus himself could crawl out of his grave, take me by the hand, and point me to ‘salvation’ and ‘heaven’ and I would say no.

I’m not gonna convert no matter how many shitty arguments you try to engage me in or how many message you send me telling me I’m going to hell.

And if I land up in ‘hell’ for being a Jew I’m okay with that.

Besides I’m generally cold most of the time so I’ll be fine.

I would seriously 100% rather die as a Jew then live for even a millisecond as a Christian.

So stop trying to convert me to Christianity because it is not going to happen.

odd request au's

* “can I borrow that used condom?”

* “let me help you cheat on this test”

* “hide in the cupboard under the kitchen sink”

* “hi Mr priest, would you mind giving me a gallon of holy water?”

* “can I hitch hike a ride, and can you drop me off on the highway?”

* “can I pay you to hug me whenever I come to this shop”

* “can you help me set up this ball pit in the middle of the street?”

* “convert me to your religion”

* “send me to military school”

* “can you put some ice in my hotel room for my penguins?”

* “can you be the best man at my dog’s wedding?”

Please stop trying to convert/de-convert people out of religion!

When people try to prove to me that God exists, or show me that their religion is right, I don’t get annoyed or irritated, I just know that they are wasting their time if their intention is to get me to believe in God or convert to their religion. People need to understand that faith is something you either have or you don’t. It’s not something you should force on anyone. I’ve read into this topic extensively and for a while I developed very unhealthy feelings of resentment towards religious texts, and I hold myself accountable for that, because as I learned and investigated it further it became more and more evident to me that much of what we see and read on the surface is part of a much larger framework. That goes for both the Bible and the Quran. Both texts are very much misunderstood by millions of people. I am not saying these books are perfect, or that I agree with them on everything, but I am saying there are many misconceptions. This is why I think the worst thing Believers out there can do is tell people who criticize their religion to “just go and read the Quran/Bible for yourself”. This is a horrible suggestion! Nobody who just reads the Quran or the Bible and takes it all literally will have a positive impression of it. So please stop this awful “suggestion”.

I’ve become stronger in my atheism as I’ve come to understand and even appreciate religious texts. I understand the Quran and the Bible better, the context, and the many allegories that accompany them. My lack of belief in them is not out of hate. I do not want nor do I expect people to become atheists. People should be free to join and leave religions as they wish. Atheism, the mere idea that there is no God, is one that brings me peace and tranquility. The same feelings of serenity are achieved by millions of people through religion and the belief in God. I do not fault them for that, I actually completely understand them.

In a world filled with so much havoc and chaos, so much hate and malice, the greatest thing we can all do is be more understanding of each other, instead of holding feelings of moral superiority. We each find our way in life and while other people may have different ways, so long as they are not harming anyone who are we to tell them they are wrong and should not believe in what they do? 

In all fairness, people of faith are very welcome to speak to me about their beliefs, but if your intention is to convert me, then know that you will not just be greeted in a bold manner with my views, but you will not have me convert, you will just be wasting your time. Not only that, but why would you go through so much trouble to take away something that brings me peace and happiness?