Sorry, I'm... uh... blind?
Context: Still a little new to DnD, our DM decided to have a little impromptu session with characters that we made on the spot after raiding Mr. DM’s house. We had a half elf rogue (me), a dragonborne barbarian who wants to be a doctor, and a high elf sorcerer trying to convert people into his religion about Cthulhu. In the story, me and the barbarian visits the sorcerer because the barbarian wants to learn about this special medicine that this sorcerer supposedly knows. But during a mishap of trying to summon Cthulhu, we’re all sent to the other side of the world.
Rouge: Oi! Asshole (the sorcerer)! Look at what you done! Thanks to your stupid spell, we’re in some weird place! Tell us where we are!
Sorcerer OOC: Do I know where we are?
Sorcerer: I don’t know what you mean! My spell was going perfectly till you two morons appeared! Don’t just throw accusations like that! For all I know, you could have done something, you dirty thief. Why don’t YOU say where we are?
Rouge: You-! Doc (Barbarian), I’m gonna shank him! We can’t trust him! I can tell he’s hiding something! (rolled insight and got a decent roll)
Barbarian: Now young Mills (my character’s name), let’s not-
Sorcerer: See! Throwing out threats like a villain! How can we trust you? Huh? Look, you’re a thief with sticky fingers! You took my staff!
Dm: Did you actually take his staff?
Rouge OOC: Ha ha, no.
Sorcerer OOC: Wanna bet on it?
Dm: *sighs* roll off.
*I got a high number while the sorcerer gets a 2*
Barbarian: Er… sir. I see that your staff is, right next to you.
Rouge: See! This guy is crazy! Let’s just leave!
Sorcerer: No wait! I’m sorry for saying that… the truth is… I am.. uh, blind.
*Everyone at the table starts laughing*
Rouge OOC: Ha, ha, ha. That’s such a bullshit statement. Can I do insight on that?
Barbarian OOC; Ha ha, me too? After watching that whole stupid argument, I can’t let him slide on that.
Sorcerer OOC: *looks away from the table* How can you doubt a blind man?
*Me and the Barbarian roll but I got a nat1 and he got a 2*
Rouge and Barbarian OOC: Shit.
Rouge: Oh my god! Why didn’t you tell me sooner! I’m so sorry for my treatment, here, I’ll hold your hand and guide you through the forest. Do you want me to carry you?
Barbarian: Yes, I am so sorry for doubting you.
Sorcerer: Hmpt! Why would I hold hands with such a dirty and gross thief-
Dm: Roll for it. See if you actually think Mills is ugly or not.
*Sorcerer rolls and gets a nat1. The entire table dies laughing*
Sorcerer: Oh my- I mean *looks me up and down* I don’t mind if that thief is you though *Actually takes my hand and feel me up irl and in game*
Rouge, both in and OOC: YOU GUYS. HE’S FEELING UP MY HAND. HIS HAND IS SO SWEATY.
Sorcerer: Shhh, accept me. Don’t you find me attractive too? *rolls charisma and gets another nat1. His glamour spell disappears suddenly to reveal a shriveled up elf*
Rouge: DOC. SAVE ME!
Barbarian: Ugh-! Oh gods! Er, stay strong, young Mills. We’ll find a town soon! *runs ahead to leave the rouge and sorcerer behind*