convert me to this religion

someone tried to tell me that christianity is about accepting everyone and im like what christianity did you grow with bc that aint what i grew up with

Caged Comrade

Context: We had just cleared a room of bandits and their dogs, and the man who gave us a quest is locked inside a dog cage. We had all failed attempts to brute force the door open, and more failures to pick the lock.

Ranger(Me): “I roll a perception check to see if it really is locked.” (Nat20s)

DM: “You know very well that it’s locked. It could be opened, but it’d be very hard.”

Monk: “Can I use persuasion to persuade the lock to be open?”

DM: “No”

Ranger(Me): “Can I use a religion check to convert the lock?”

Druid: “What would you convert it to?”

Monk: “Openism.“ 

DM: "Really guys? Like, really?”

PSA To Customers

Pleaaaase dont try to “preach” or “pray” for your cashiers. I had a customer full on try to convert me. Besides the fact that my religion is my business, I have a limited amount of time I can use on you. I have a line, I have other customers I need to attend to. I dont need you to stay behind and ask me to let you pray with me or for me. I need to get you on your way asap so I can move on to the next customer.

Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 34

Narrated ‘Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) as saying:
When it is Friday, the angels stand at every door of the mosque and record the people in the order of their arrival, and when the Imam sits (on the pulpit for delivering the sermon) they fold up their sheets (manuscripts of the Qur'an) and listen to the mention (of Allah). And he who comes early is like one who offers a she-camel as a sacrifice, the next like one who offers a cow, the next a ram, the next a hen, the next an egg.

Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 34/93

anonymous asked:

If you're Christian, that's all fine and cool man, that's your business. Yes, I am a cashier, and no, I don't want your pamphlets about your church and no, I am not interested in converting to your religion!

Had a coworker make me give one to my husband as he was driving me off at work… We were blocking traffic for the valet parking because of this. Hubby threw it away as soon as he got home. I think the coworker saw my expression because he hasn’t talked to me since. I am so totally not religious because of this exact same behavior. If you want people to be interested then stop harassing them with your leaflets and lectures. -Abby

universityfit  asked:

I've been interested in Buddhism for years and done some light research into it, and what I've found has been interesting and appealing to me. I know you can't really convert overnight to fully follow any religion or belief, so could you offer some tips/ideas of how I could gradually convert? I've always been an atheist but for some reason I've always been drawn to Buddhism. Thanks

Hi Universityfit!

Those who convert from pure atheism to Buddhism normally find it quite a refreshing change as they can have a form of religious outlet but don’t get bogged down in beliefs that they find unrealistic. With Buddhism you can dictate just how literally you follow scripture and how much you want it to impact your life. Hopefully this link below will point you in the right direction, but if not don’t hesitate to ask me more questions. I’d be happy to answer!

I hope this helps! 



Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 38

Narrated ‘Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (pbuh) as saying:
He who performed ablution well, then came to Friday prayer, listened (to the sermon), kept silence all (his sins) between that time and the next Friday would be forgiven with three days extra, and he who touched pebbles caused an interruption.

Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 38/93

Why Panda converted to the Religion of Oumami
  • <p> <b>Me :</b> -sees ndrv3 official art of oumami-<p/><b>Me :</b> Awwwww ~ Bet they'll be like Mahiru and Hiyoko, brotherly relationship uwu<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees demo- Oh ! Ki-bo and Ouma, wasn't expecting that<p/><b>Me :</b> Cute I ship it---<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees that many ships them becoz of the dick joke-<p/><b>Me :</b> -is now neutral to Kiibouma-<p/><b>Me :</b> Oh ! SAIOUMAAAAAAA !!!<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees fans claiming Saiouma as Komahina 2.0-<p/><b>Me :</b> . . . . . . . . . Can't people ship characters without referring them to other ships ? Stop repeating the history itself ! Saiouma is unique of its own. . . . DONT. CALL. THEM. KOMAHINA 2.0.<p/><b>Me :</b> -is now neutral at Saiouma-<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Oumaede-<p/><b>Me :</b> -adds the ship to her like list- Perfect !<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Oumeno-<p/><b>Me :</b> Double shorties but meh-<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees ndrv3 chapter 1-<p/><b>Ouma :</b> WHO KILLED MY BELOVED AMAMI-CHAN ?!!! -cries-<p/><b>Me :</b> . . . . . I didn't see that coming<p/><b>Me :</b> -sees Ouma's room-<p/><b>Me :</b> WOAAAAAAAAAH OUMAMI YAAAAAAS QUEEN YAAAAAAAAS THIS IS FRUKING NEW<p/><b>Me :</b> Otp of the year : Oumami<p/></p>

I love how ppl assume when I bitch about religion and Christianity as a whole that I Dont believe in the Christian God or Jesus. Like I do, and I still have a connection to Jesus but I also believe in other deities that I’m working with atm and coming and going with deities is just how some religious people work. I could go back and become a christowitch or never touch back with anyform of Christianity - Jesus is chill with it and so am i

Also just cuz im critical about religion doesn’t make me nonreligious or nonspiritual lol

Just….mind ya own business and worry about your own spiritual and religious paths, why do Christians feel they NEED to force Christianity down literary)y everyone throats???? Fuck off with that?????

If you actually want to discuss anything (in a civil manner ) hit me up in my inbox- however if anyone reblogs this condemning me or trying to convert me will be automatically be blocked.

anonymous asked:

I just recently learned of a Jewish line in my family. I'm not sure if I'd want to convert (im queer, and sadly religion has always kind of intimidated me) but I do want to explore this aspect of my heritage...I've heard synagogues hold a variety of classes, and even let outsiders sit in on some services, is ths true?

Hi there,

I’m sorry that you have struggled with religion in the past.  Often organized religion is awful to LGBTQ+ folks.  Fortunately for you, Judaism is not just a religion- but a peoplehood.  The Jews are a people (really an ethnoreligion) with a land, a culture, a history, literature, language, tradition AND we also so happen to have a malleable theological belief.  It is common for Jews to hold a more agnostic theology, or not to believe in God at all.

Synagogues do hold classes.  Although some are only open to members (or to those who pay), I am sure that there are many who hold free classes.  Most shuls also would be comfortable with you (and even a friend) sitting in on a Shabbat service.  Before attending any synagogue functions, please contact the shul so that they can expect you. Jewish communities are very careful about who they let into their spaces due to the recent rise of antisemitism.  (you shouldn’t have a problem).

Beyond attending a Synagogue, I suggest checking out my FAQ section. There is a long list of resources close to the bottom.

I also suggest having a conversation with a rabbi or cantor.  Regardless of what you eventually will do, I think that it would be very helpful!

If you would like some help finding a community near you, please don’t hesitate to reach out.  I’d love to chat with you about anything as well!

Good luck friend!


Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 23

Narrated ‘Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Apostle () as saying:
“There is a time on Friday at which no Muslim would ask Allah for what is good but He would give it to him.” And further said: “This is a very short time.”

Sahih Muslim, The Book of Prayer - Friday Book 7, Hadith 23/93

What not to do when calling a call center

AKA: how to make a call center rep your worst enemy

9 times out of 10, we’re wearing headsets so if you talk very loudly, it’s gonna hurt our ears. Of we can’t hear you, we will tell you. Don’t assume.

If you’re ordering, don’t just start listing off what you want. This isn’t Burger King and there are a few things we need first, like your name and shipping address.

Seriously, it’s just rude and your mother taught you better. Interrupt us when were literally in the middle of a sentence and you automatically become the douchnozzle of the day.

I don’t care how mad you are, we are not going to let you talk to the head honcho about your trivial issue. That’s what we have customer care for. You don’t really expect to talk to Bill Gates when you Microsoft, do you?

PS: the line “Does (insert owner here) know how his company is being run?” is seriously overrated and we’ll hate you more for asking it.

We package the order, we give the shipping company the address to send it to, and we pay them to do so. From then out, it’s out of our hands. Their policies now. If they want to leave it on your doorstep, or won’t deliver it til someone signs for it, that’s their choice. We cant tell them what to do. So don’t get mad at us because you weren’t home to be there to greet the UPS driver.

We do not need to be asked “Are you going to heaven or hell?” and we don’t need a ten minute preaching about Jesus or God. It’s especially annoying when we’re not even Christian. (And if I tell you so, do not try to fucking convert me) You have your religion and we have ours, let’s not bring it into business.

Not everyone shares your opinion and it’s the last thing we want to talk about at work.

It’s not our fault if we don’t have an answer for your asinine question, and there is absolutely no reason to call us stupid.

It might work the first 2 times, but then we’ll put a note in your account/name so everyone will know NOT to give in to your demands. And the line “But I always get…” will do you jack shit.

If we said it’s not free shipping, it’s fucking not free shipping.

11. ALSO…
There is no 5 or 10 percent discount just because you’re “a good customer” If you want a membership discount, go shop at Sam’s Club

It’s disgusting and I didn’t think I’d need to put it on this list until it actually happened. (I was gagging in disgust throughout the call and had to finally tell her to “stop chewing her food and talking at the same time”)

If you stay the call off by immediately saying “I’ve been a customer for years and know how things are done there” we already know you’re calling to complain about something. And no, you don’t “know how things are done here”, you’re not an employee.

Don’t call customer care to place an order, or call order dept to file a complaint or ask questions.

Maintaining Religion in the Face of Facts: Now You Can, Too!

A motivated Christian talked with me about coming back to Christianity. Surprisingly, not knowing anything about his religion didn’t convert me, but he also managed to maintain his belief. How does that happen? Well, this particular Christian broke it down for me. While he’s not as eloquent as some, his methods are the exact same as I encounter from even very well-spoken individuals. 

Christian: I choose Christianity
Me: I know you did. so how did you choose it? using what evidence?
X: I read the bible
Me: Do you know what leprosy is?
X: Yeah it’s is a disaster
Me: Right, it’s not a fun time. Tell me, if you contracted leprosy, what would you do?
X: Wat u mean???
Me: What would you do if you caught leprosy? How would you treat it?
X: I would pray to God to give me a miracle to take that away from me
Me: Why would you pray? Leprosy is 100% curable with modern medicine. Did you know that?
X: No
Me: It’s been curable since 1981. What if I gave you a choice between the medical treatment and ripping own a bird and putting the blood on your skin? Which one would you do? If I told you that you had to kill one bird, rip it open, and then take another bird, dip the live bird in the dead bird’s blood, and let the bird flap the blood onto you, would you do that to cure leprosy? Or would you take the medicine?
X: Medical treatment
Me: Why? Is it because birds are full of disease?
X: Yeah???
Me: Right. And that’s smart. But the bible says to do that…the bird blood. So the bible gives us advice that can harm us. You believe YHWH knows everything, so why not tell people how to cure leprosy? Why give a treatment that can make them even more sick?
X: Don’t know
Me: I do. It’s because many years ago, people used to think blood was really purifying. That’s why the bible (and other religions) ask for blood sacrifice. You know who also does bird blood for purification? Voodoo practitioners and priests. It’s common in many religions, and it’s just as unhealthy as ever. In fact, we had a type of virus mutate from birds and we can get sick from it. It killed many, many, many people in 1918. But the bible says to do it…same as every other old religion. By the way, it’s in Leviticus 14:7 if you want to read it yourself. I have another question: does the sun go around the earth, or does the earth go around the sun?
X: Earth go around the sun
Me: Right, but the bible says the sun goes around the earth.
X: In wat book chapter and verse
Me: Joshua chapter 10, verse 13
X: Alright
Me: Why would it say that?
X: Don’t know
Me: The bible even quotes another religious text to say that. It talks about the Book of Jasher, which is not in the bible. Hey, if I tried to grow a plant but put it in a dark room, would it grow or does a plant need sunlight to grow?
X: Sunlight to grow
Me: Right, but the bible says that YHWH created plants, and then later created the sun.
X: Right
Me: so why would he do that if he knows plants need sunlight to grow? It seems the bible was written by people who didn’t really understand the world. If the information came from an all-knowing god, then this wouldn’t be in there.
X: Oh
Me: That’s the same feeling I had when I was studying the bible. Jesus gets kinda angry and mean pretty often, to be honest. He acts like a jerk to his disciples and family,but the strange part is the gospels don’t all say the same thing. For example, they all disagree about his last words on the cross and Matthew wrote about a zombie uprising…but no one else did.
X: O
Me: did you know that?
X: No
Me: why not? You haven’t read your bible, have you? Everything I said today comes from the bible, but you didn’t know it was in there, why not? How can you say the bible is evidence of YHWH when you haven’t even read it?
X: The Bible is the word of God truth
Me: you haven’t even read it, though, so how can you say that? Besides, the sun doesn’t go around the earth. That’s not true, but the bible says it does. You don’t cure leprosy by throwing bird blood on people, but the bible says to do that. So that’s not true. So how can you say the bible is the truth when it has things in there that are factually wrong?
X: Prophecy are being fulfilled itself
Me: No they aren’t, there are unfulfilled prophesies in the bible. YHWH promised to destroy a city during King Nebuchadnezzar’s time…and it is still there. YHWH had promise for Abraham’s descendants, but the bible says they all died without it being fulfilled
X: Yeah they is prophecy are  being fulfilled itself
Me: That is false. Like I said, there are failed prophecies in the bible. The bible also says the Egyptians would all speak Hebrew. That is false.
X: U don’t know wat u talking about i know u don’t know
Me: I will cite the verses for you. Ezekiel 26:7-14 says king Nebuchadnezzar would destroy Tyre, but it still stands. Isaiah 7:1-7 says the king of Judah shall not be harmed, but in 2 Chronicles 28:1-8 it says he was harmed. Isaiah 19:18 says Egyptians will speak Hebrew. Genesis 12:7 says YHWH will give all the descendants a certain land, but Hebrews 11:13 says they didn’t get it (even though they were faithful). Even the bible itself states that some of the prophesies failed.
X: U wrong
Me: It isn’t me, this is the bible. If you think I am wrong, then you are saying the bible is wrong (and I agree with you).
X: The Bible never wrong the Bible is always right
Me: But you already pointed out how the bible is wrong, like with leprosy, plants, and the sun. And the unfulfilled prophesies are listed as unfulfilled right in the bible itself. You say the bible is always right but you haven’t even read it.
X: I read the bible every day so u can’t tell me nothing nothing literally nothing u don’t know wat u are doing i will pray for u right now I’m getting mad
Me: Why are you mad? When I told you some things in the bible, you didn’t know they were there. If you studied your bible, you would have known.
X: So tell me where did people came from i’m testing u now

Get angry and change the subject: the greatest method for keeping one’s religion alive

Whatever the fuck you are, I don’t care and I won’t treat you differently if you were something different. That is unless you are phobic of any orientation (especially ace and aro)/color/fucking anything and/or against a religion. If you are one of those people and you try to talk to me, you can fuck off. Especially fuck off if you try to make me convert to a religion, because I honestly don’t fucking care. I’ve already had my handful of (some really bad) Christians trying to convert me into their religion and it made me more fucking depressed and one particular person fucked with me really bad so don’t even think about it.

Basically, talk to me if you want to and share whatever the fuck you want as long as you are respectful of other people and myself.

anonymous asked:

I don't know why but SubhanAllah I had hard time believing the supernatural of the religion, like shaytan or angels. I know this is very haraam, but I don't know how to convince myself

Don’t force yourself. As a convert, believe me that religion takes time. Some things you might never believe and some things will come really easily. As long as you can justify it to yourself then that’s all that ultimately matters.

odd request au's

* “can I borrow that used condom?”

* “let me help you cheat on this test”

* “hide in the cupboard under the kitchen sink”

* “hi Mr priest, would you mind giving me a gallon of holy water?”

* “can I hitch hike a ride, and can you drop me off on the highway?”

* “can I pay you to hug me whenever I come to this shop”

* “can you help me set up this ball pit in the middle of the street?”

* “convert me to your religion”

* “send me to military school”

* “can you put some ice in my hotel room for my penguins?”

* “can you be the best man at my dog’s wedding?”


My name is Allie and I’ve recently decided to start recording some of the experiences I’ve had in converting religions. I am doing what makes me happy and what I feel is right, however my parents aren’t thrilled about my choice. I hope that maybe the super hard and difficult parts of this will one day be able to help other people, but in the meantime I’d just like to keep record of my progress. My basic background story is below. Ask box is always open for questions or suggestions! (I’d also really love to meet some people who have converted or are converting)

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