conversations at the edge

anonymous asked:

The only thing I'm having trouble understanding is when Sam tells dean “Maybe we can bring him back, like you said.” but he says this before dean tells him about the prayer and I've rewatched this ep a billion times and dean never says anything about bringing Cas back- at least not in front of Sam. I was wondering what you thought about this? Maybe the answer is glaringly obvious and I'm probably overlooking it. I'm just kinda confused :p

They cut the scene where they move Cas to the house, so maybe this was something that got lost in the process? Although Sam has to ask if Cas is really dead once they’re on the road, so I would have to guess that it mirrored the end of the episode and Sam dealt with Kelly? Since she was also already covered when Sam took Jack to see her, so I suppose they would have had to have that conversation around the edges of that? 

Unless someone can think of something we’ve both missed. I did just literally rewatch that one line as research… :P 

6

Figure Skating Jumps With Yuuri and Viktor

This blog started out as a Yuri!!! on Ice trash blog, but somewhere along the way, my love for figure skating was rekindled. My blog now doubles as a figure skating… trash blog, lol! Yeah, I have no life.

Anyway! Jumps - wonderful to watch, confusing af to recognize. If this is your usual sentiment, then you have come to the right place! Let Yuuri and Viktor show you the different jumps done by figure skaters, as well as tips on how to recognize them.

Jumps are actually fairly easy to recognize once you know what to look for. The first thing to look for is how skaters propel themselves off the ice. Was there a toe pick assist - meaning did the other foot’s toe pick help the skater push off the ice? Or was the skater propelled solely by their knees? The former is called a toe jump, because the toe pick was used to lift off the ice. The latter is called an edge jump, because the skater jumped off directly from an edge of their skating blade. This is most recognizable through a deeper bend in the knees, because without a toe pick assist, the strength of the jump comes solely from the knees.

HOLD UP… EDGES???

Right, so we also need to understand edges first. If you search for close ups of skating blades viewed from the back, you will find that there is something like a hollow on the bottom of the blade so that there are two edges. If you were to stand with your feet just slightly apart, the inside edges would be the edges in line with your inner thighs (and calves, whatever). Conversely, the outside edges would be the edges that are facing the outside world.

Now, the great thing is all jumps are landed at the back outside edge. Which foot depends on the skater. Yuuri and Viktor both seem to favor landing on their right foot. Most skaters have a preferred landing foot, but to help you visualize, a skater who prefers landing on his right foot, for example, would always land tilted slightly to the right, because he is landing on his right outside edge.

So if it is not the landing that differentiates the jumps, what does? Yep, you got it - the entry.

Now that we have the basics down, time for the fun part: the different kinds of jumps!

EDGE JUMPS

Loop: Entered at the back outside edge of the same foot. You land exactly where you started, hence the “loop”. Example of a loop is the first gif, which is a loop done by Yuuri. The knee bend is not very clear, but see how his right foot is tilted to the right and slightly back? Clear back outside edge, landed also on his right foot.

Salchow: Yuuri’s bane of a jump is entered at the back inside edge of the opposite foot. The fun thing about the Salchow is that apart from the usual clues (knee bend and tilt of the foot), the nature of the landing is such that the entry leg sweeps into a wide arch once the skater lands on the opposite leg. Example is the second gif, done by Yuuri. See how Yuuri bends his knees? That is an obvious edge jump. See how his left foot tilts slightly inwards (inside edge take-off) before jumping off? Another interesting thing about this gif is Yuuri’s entry on the Salchow – it looked like he jumped from both feet. Two-footed Salchows are right or wrong depending on who you ask, but the idea is that the skater should still be taking off from the correct foot and the correct edge when entering the Salchow.

Axel: Yuuri’s favorite is also a common favorite among fans because it is easily recognizable AND it is the jump type with the highest points. The Axel is the only jump entered facing forward. Because of this entry, however, to land on the back outside edge (where all jumps land), you have to make an extra half rotation. That means a triple Axel is actually an Axel with three-and-a-half rotations, and this is also why it is given the most points. Also because of this, a quad Axel is the only remaining possible quad jump that has not yet been landed. (Can you imagine having to do four-and-a-half rotations?) Example, of course, is our boy Yuuri nailing that triple Axel in the third gif.

TOE JUMPS

Toe Loop: Arguably the easiest jump, it is basically a loop with a toe pick assist. With the extra assist, it is usually the first quad landed by most male skaters, and in the show, this is the only quad Phichit can land. The fourth gif is a triple toe loop done by Viktor. See the way his left toe pick helps him off the ice? See how cleanly he takes off (slight outside tilt of his right foot) and lands on the same foot (same outside tilt)?

Flip: Viktor’s signature quad, the flip jump is entered by the back inside edge of the opposite foot. Enter on the inside edge of one foot, land at the outside edge of the other foot - hence, you flip. You can also think of it as a Salchow with a toe pick assist. The fifth gif is a triple flip done by Viktor. I chose his triple flip because the animation is clearer here. See how his right leg swings for that toe pick assist? His left entry foot is tilted slightly inwards to jump from his inside edge, and he then lands on his usual right landing foot (tilted slightly outwards to the back outside edge). (Bonus: The quad flip in particular is interesting to watch out for because for some reason, the skaters do a full turn before the jump, which is not as obviously done when skaters do a triple flip instead. It makes the quad version look dramatic, at least especially in the show when Yuuri and Viktor do it with that solemn look on their faces and all, but it’s also fun to watch when real-life figure skaters like Shoma Uno - who was the first to land the quad flip - also does that full turn before jumping. Somebody explain this to me, though. What physics is at work there? Idk.)

Lutz: Chris’ signature jump and my personal favorite is the Lutz, which is entered on the back outside edge of the opposite foot. The interesting thing about the Lutz is that because it is entered from the outside edge of the opposite foot, it is counter-rotated - that means the skater goes one direction then spins the opposite direction. It is a high difficulty jump and so gets the second highest base score after the Axel. The last gif shown here is a Lutz done together by Yuuri and Viktor, and I slowed the gif down a bit to better show the characteristics of the jump. Viktor actually gives the more consistently clear example of Lutzes in the show, but see how Yuuri enters the jump on the first few frames? That is typical Lutz entry, where the skater’s entry foot crosses over to the opposite side to give it that tilt it needs so they jump from the back outside edge. See how Viktor’s left foot is slightly tilted so you see underneath his skate? He is tilted slightly to the left, but he then jumps counter-clockwise, even if with that tilt, his natural spin would have been clockwise. He then lands on his right foot on the outside edge.

And there you have it! The six types of figure skating jumps. I hope that was helpful to those who are interested in learning to recognize these awesome jumps. The more figure skating fans, the merrier, I say!

(Any questions on these jumps? Leave me a message and talk skating to me. I would love to answer your questions! ♡)

Writing is Hard, Part 5: Headcanons

Summary: Dean shows the reader that there’s truth to a famous headcanon.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“Reading anything good?” Dean asks.

Sam’s inside the gas station, picking up some snacks instead of listening to this conversation, so your face doesn’t feel the need to flush with embarrassment. Dean already knows exactly what you’re reading.

“I guess,” you tell him. No need to feed his ego by telling him how hot the story is.

“What is it?”

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Double Duty | M

Yoongi & Jungkook | BTS | 10.2k Words

w: for @tendershepherd and plotted with her (and she came up with the title. bless lmao) to create this mess of sub!jk & sub!yoongi, dom!reader, ass play, pussy worship, slight mxm, humiliation… and a lot more. this is so filthy. i’m sorry. lmfao

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Tater and Bitty become fast friends and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted

Tater is like an overprotective St. Bernard: large, affectionate, and unable to gauge personal space. Jack’s continually surprised and pleased when Tater manhandles Bitty like a favorite younger brother. They’ve struck up this cheerful, affectionate friendship. Tater watches out for Bitty, but he also genuinely likes him and food. Bitty’s adopted Tater into their friend circle, which Tater needed. Bitty was the only one who’d noticed what an outsider Tater is.

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You can make Doomguys pretty easily using Maelstrom’s Edge plastics and Pig Iron system trooper helmets.I’ve gone one step further and used Hasslefree weapons to equip mine with shotguns, chainguns, plasma rifles, rocket launchers (minor converting required), chainguns, and super shotguns. There are also engineer and medic variants, and an officer with an oversized pistol. I’m still painting the 7 objective markers - 3 skulls, 3 key cards, and a small pet rabbit.

These guys are being used for my wargame FRAG, a simple d6 mass battle system inspired by 90s FPS games.

Demigods Being Real
  • Since his time spent in the bronze jar Nico can’t stand silence, there always has to be something in the background or else his vision will darken at the edges and this sickeningly heavy feeling in his stomach grows
  • Calypso cries almost every day, begging to be back at ohygia. The world moves so fast she can’t keep up. The cars, conversations, time, even the butterflies floating on the edge of the stream at camp half blood seem like they’re in a hurry. 
  • The pain Reyna feels from her fellow legionaries and campers becomes too much for her sometimes. She shy’s away from Nico the most and immediately feels his sadness, she constantly reassures him and others not to worry. Reyna often takes long walks by herself, embracing the freedom it gives her.
  • Percy has a silent anger about him, he’ll let most things slide but when everything gets too much he’ll look at you with the most dead ass hateful glare you’ve ever seen. One time a cabin counselor told a newbie camper to ask Percy for a tour around CHB, this happened and the camper ended up crying and scared. A lot of people are careful around him now
  • Annabeth never really paid much attention to her well being, if she got sick or hurt herself she worked regardless because “there’s always something more important going on.” 
  • Even after Ares’ blessing on Frank he still feels self-conscious about his weight. It’s always been something on the edge of his mind, growing up in middle school was especially hard and Frank sometimes catches himself comparing his body to Jason’s especially. 
  • Rachel can go weeks without even thinking about her parents, when she casually mentions this to the others an awkward silence falls because almost all of them have lost a parent and don’t have the option of choosing to ignore them. There is a barely-there resentment in Hazel and Frank and Jason and Leo towards her

“Mamae, mamae!”

“Careful, Neris! I just finished that one, we don’t want to smudge it right away,” Vallera said, pushing the freshly painted mask to the side as she shifted to accommodate her daughter on her lap.

Mamae, hahren said that I could be at the dance!”

“Did he, now? Then you need a mask, da’len.” She planted a quick kiss on the top of Neris’s head. “Do you remember hahren’s lessons about the gods?”

“Why?” Neris asked tentatively.

“Well, because for the wolf dance in the new year, the children wear masks of vallaslin. Which of the gods do you favor, hmm?” Vallera waited as Neris pouted and looked away from her eyes for a moment. “I’ll give you a hint. Do you favor like me, the flames of S…?”

“Sylaise!”

“Yes! Good girl,” she said with a smile, “Or maybe the wings of D…?”

“Daa…”

“Dirth—”

“—amen!”

“Dirthamen, yes, like your…” Vallera looked over to the edge of the camp, where Neris’s father conversed with one of the lead hunters. “Your papae?”

“No.” Neris shook her head to the sides and Vallera laughed.

“So… what do we do?”

“I want to be a hunter!”

“A hunter?”

“Yes, I want to track down the Dread Wolf and defeat him like Sulanin!”

“Oh, to find Fen’Harel you’ll need the guidance of Ghilan’nain, but to defeat him you’ll need the blessing of Andruil,” Vallera paused, “So whose will it be, da’len?”

“Both.”

“Both?”

“Yes.” Neris smiled.

Vallera laughed at her child. “Alright, my love. Do you want to paint yourself?”

Neris nodded, amber eyes fixed on her own.

“Very well, let’s see what you come up with,” Vallera said, kissing her daughter’s cheek three times in quick succession, and handed Neris her painting brush.

My piece for @thedosianlny, featuring toddler Neris and her mamae, Vallera, Lavellan’s clan artisan, painting masks for the Dance of Fen’Harel, where the children don vallaslin masks and help the dream warrior Sulanin defeat the Dread Wolf.

{PART 11} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU

Originally posted by jengkook

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Vampire!AU, Fantasy, Angst, Smut

Summary; Jungkook opens up to you more about his family - while keeping your attention off the elephant in the room. However, the rosy feeling doesn’t last long when Jungkook drops you home to your apartment.

I update this series every Tuesday evening, 9pm-10pm (UK Time) 

{Part 1}// {Part 10} {Part 11} {Part 12}

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This Is War [11]

Summary: After being rejected by your best friend Bucky, Sam sets you up with one of his friends, on the condition that if the date doesn’t go well, you have to sign up for a dating app. The date doesn’t go well. As you begin to look for love in other places, Bucky starts to feel something he never felt before. Jealous.

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1520

Warnings: Angst. Maybe some language. Mentions of alcohol

A/N: Haha.. Insert sweating emoji face here..

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Joshua from Fire Emblem the Sacred Stones :) A stylish swordsman and a gambler, he had to be in my 10 favorite FE characters. 5 more to go! I voted for him to make it in FE Heroes ballot, here’s hoping they add him soon!

Sacred Stones is my favorite FE game. I think monster units should come back in next installments of the series (not only zombies, but also gorgons, gargoyles, skeleton knights, spiders and so on)  and it would be great  to make them playable units! Would they have support conversations? lol

Think Outside the Lovesquare Day 1: Wrong Number AU

(Just a note to clarify, I elected to use bolded text to indicate Adrien’s texts and italicized text to indicate the person texting him.)


Hey, are you back in France yet?

Adrien stared down at his phone. He wasn’t entirely sure who was texting him, but he could only guess it was someone working for his father. Maybe Nathalie needed a new number and hadn’t had the chance to tell him yet. He shrugged and replied.

Just got back today. I should be home soon.

How’s work?

Adrien raised a brow. Nathalie had been with him until the last two days, so she already had a pretty clear idea on how most of the work had gone. Maybe she just wanted to know about the last shoot.

Fine. Everyone seemed pretty happy with it.

Cool. Are you free this weekend?

Adrien checked his schedule, a bit confused that Nathalie was asking him, instead of the other way around.

I should be, yeah.

After all, she’d promised him a few days off after the grueling three weeks of travel and photo shoots and media attention. His calendar was indeed free aside from a fencing lesson he’d chosen to keep.

Wanna meet up?

Now he knew something was wrong. Nathalie wouldn’t ask

Wait. Is this Nathalie?

What? No, this is Nino.

After a moment, the mystery person added on.

I sat behind you last year.

Adrien frowned. So, it wasn’t Nathalie after all. That didn’t explain who it was, however.

Sat behind me? Where?

In class. Remember?

Now it was beginning to make sense. Adrien flopped back onto his bed and stared up at the screen. It really should have been obvious. After all, Nathalie and Chloe were the only ones who texted him.

I think you have the wrong number.

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Strength of Spirit- Part 1

Dean Winchester walks into your laundromat looking very much like your next one night stand. Instead, tragedy strikes, and you end up in the middle of a nightmare, with only Dean (and his brother Sam) to help you navigate it.

Warning: canon-typical violence

Word Count: 1800ish

A/N: It’s been a while since I’ve done a series that wasn’t just smut. I’m hoping we’ll all have some fun with it! XOXO


There was a thunderstorm in the air. The clouds were rolling in and you could feel the heat about to break as you hauled your laundry across the street. Your apartment building really needed its own laundromat. This one was close, of course, which was nice. But if it started raining, you were stuck there until it was over.

Still, you took a deep breath and grinned. This was your favorite type of weather, gray and still, something forceful brewing, something wild and unpredictable.

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i just want kala and wolfgang to be happy and comfortable and together. i want them to have conversations in quiet voices cuddled up together on a balcony at night. i want them holding hands and walking down the sidewalk in comfortable silence. i want snorted laughter and playful nudging in all the wrong moments. i want kala moving around the kitchen and wolfgang leaning against the counter and “stop staring and let me cook in peace.” i want gentle smiles and jokes and lazy mornings in and conversations that aren’t always on the edge of conflict. i want kala and wolfgang to get the peace they deserve.

I Won't Say It

Requested by an anonymous flubble for their birthday. They wanted an Eleven fic based off of the song “I Won’t Say I’m In Love” and I’m pretty sure I nailed it (I even managed to incorporate some lyrics).

And for those of you wondering why Jack Harkness is here - first of all, Jack Harkness is too good to not be here, and secondly, he’s the best person I could think of to be a sassy singing Greek Muse in a toga whose most pressing interest is matchmaking. (Except for maybe Donna, but I don’t think she’d put up with all this nonsense.)

Also, look at this gif. Look at those lips. Just look at the lips. Look at them.

“I’m not doing this with you, Jack.”

“Like you have anything better to do than me.”

You glared at Jack Harkness, Captain of the Innuendo Squad, and wondered how long it would be before Jack got distracted by something shiny and ran off. That’s basically what he did last time. Alright, so last time, the “something shiny” had been a blue alien woman in very revealing clothing (what she was revealing, you weren’t sure, but that was not one bit human at all), but the point stood that Jack could be distracted from this current line of discussion. But, considering the lack of revealing aliens in this situation and how intent Jack seemed to be on having this conversation, you doubted it would happen like that again anytime soon. Shame.

“You’re disgusting,” you said plainly, playfully tossing a grape at him so he would know you weren’t quite as angry as you sounded. He leaned back and caught it in his mouth.

“You love it," Jack said around the grape. He chewed it with a smirk on his face.

You picked up another grape and stuck it in your own mouth. "No. And we’re not talking about this.”

“Oh, so we’re not talking about your very mature, reasonable crush on a really sexy Time Lo-”

“No, we’re not!” you snapped. Now you were angry. Or at least very, very frustrated.

This conversation happened a lot. Every time the Doctor left you and Jack alone in the TARDIS (which the Doctor seemed a little uncomfortable with because he always tried to take you with him and leave Jack behind, but you and Jack weren’t having any of that), Jack hounded you about your ‘crush’ on the Doctor. It wasn’t a crush, though, and you knew that, and you were pretty sure that Jack knew it too, which was why he was pushing it so hard. Because it was more than a crush, way more, and Jack wanted you to say it.

“And we’re not talking about it,” you continued, angrily chomping down on another grape, "because there’s nothing to talk about.“

"Who d'ya think you’re kiddin’?” Jack drawled. “You like him…”

You rolled your eyes. “What are you, four?”

“Nah. I’m six, at least.” Jack gave you that grin, the you-can’t-hate-me-because-I’m-so-cute-and-sinful grin, trying to take the edge off of the conversation. It didn’t work. "Honey, I think the world of you, but this is ridiculous. You love the Doctor. Can’t you face it like a grown-up?“

Hurt stung you. He hadn’t actually said anything offensive, but there had been a veiled accusation of immaturity there, and you couldn’t defend yourself and tell him that it wasn’t like that, not without saying exactly what you didn’t want to say. So instead, you said:

"Get off my case, Jack, would you?”

Jack scoffed irritably. Jack rarely got angry, as far as you had seen, but this was obviously getting to him. You didn’t want to see what an angry Jack was like, but you weren’t going to give in just because he got huffy. There was no good reason for him to get to bully you like this and you weren’t about to let him do it, either.

The grapes were left forgotten on the granite countertop of the island in the TARDIS’s oddly compact kitchen. You had stood up in an effort to regain the upper hand by making yourself taller than Jack, but Jack was leaning forward in his seat, halfway to standing up himself. Oh, he wasn’t going to turn this into an actual fight, was he? You had never fought with him. Why did he have to push this?

“You can’t keep denying this. It’s unhealthy,” Jack hissed. “You’re too proud to say it and you’re making yourself miserable.”

“Oh, please.” You put as much biting sarcasm into your voice as you could, trying to stave back the sting that was making your eyes water. You were going to cry. You didn’t want to cry, not in front of Jack or in front of anybody, but especially not in an argument like this.

“You love him.”

“No way. Nuh-uh.”

“And he loves you too!”

Now that was taking it too far. That hurt.

Jack!” you snapped. A single hot tear welled over and made a scorching path down your cheek. You aggressively wiped it away, trying to save face despite your complete loss of control.

You knew your face was red - you could feel the heat of blood rushing up to your face. Your ears were hot and your mouth felt full of cotton. You weren’t sure how this had escalated so quickly, and maybe it wouldn’t have under normal circumstances, and maybe you wouldn’t have let tears fall so easily, but this was a wound that had been festering for years and Jack had poked at it in all the ways that hurt the worst.

Jack stared at you, stunned by the way you had broken so quickly. He didn’t know what to do - he knew that you needed to face up to this, but he hadn’t realized that it was so bad that you would… well, this. He had never made you cry, not once in all the years since you had met. The Doctor, who could sometimes be extraordinarily insensitive, had made you cry multiple times, and Jack had never failed to give the Doctor hell for it, but this wasn’t the Doctor. This was him. Jack had made you cry, and he didn’t know what to do about.

“I-” He swallowed, trying to find the words. He stood up from his seat, slowly moving to comfort you. “Aw, Sweetie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Just stop, Jack. Okay?” You shuffled towards the sink, purposefully out of Jack’s reach. "Just stop.“

You grabbed a scrubbing brush and began to clean dishes that had been left to soak in soapy water. The TARDIS could do he own dishes very well and didn’t mind doing them, but you liked to extend her the courtesy of doing it yourself. Not to mention it was a good distraction. With your back to Jack, you couldn’t see him and he wasn’t saying anything.

Finally, you heard the scrape of a chair and the quick footsteps of Jack making his escape from the kitchen. You sighed in relief even as another traitorous tear slipped from your blotchy cheek and into the sudsy water. You looked at your murky reflection. Your eyes were already red and puffy, just for two little tears, and your cheeks were terribly flushed.

"Get a grip, girl,” you told your reflection, and then you splashed it away with frothy suds and a tea-stained mug.

Since bringing Jack back onto the TARDIS, the Doctor had been torn about the decision. On one hand, he really liked Jack and was glad to have the man back. On the other hand, you really liked Jack and Jack really liked you and that meant that the Doctor didn’t get you all to himself anymore, which he didn’t like. Since finding you, he hadn’t really bothered bringing other companions aboard for very long, mostly because he liked it best when it was just the two of you, as it should be. But on the other hand, Jack was sort of a good security measure. The Doctor wasn’t a fool - he had lost companions before and he wasn’t so arrogant as to think that he wasn’t in danger of losing one again. Jack was like extra security for you, which was good. But on the other hand, you were spending more time with just Jack when the Doctor wasn’t around, and that made the Doctor terribly nervous, because Jack was handsome and charming and tempting and romantic and a man and you were- were- well, he was a boy and you were a girl and the Doctor didn’t like what his brain came up with when he wondered what went on when you two were alone together. But on the other hand, Jack was trustworthy and the Doctor knew that you were safe with the captain. But on the other hand, you had very pretty lips, and Jack couldn’t resist a set of pretty lips, and the Doctor couldn’t recall seeing you kiss anyone ever in all your travels, so perhaps you were letting Jack kiss you, just because humans got lonely without kisses. But on the other hand-

Oh, goodness, that was more than enough hands. That was at least six hands and he didn’t have nearly enough, even if he used his feet.

But the point was, in the end, that even though the Doctor knew that you were quite safe with Jack, the Doctor hated leaving you with him, because the Doctor would spend his outings thinking of Jack kissing you and you kissing Jack, and the very idea of it made him feel frantic. So he would do whatever errands he needed to do and then scurry back to the TARDIS as quickly as he could, often entertaining the thought that, maybe, if he asked nicely, you would get your kisses from him instead of Jack. The Doctor was lonely too, after all, and it seemed more than fair to him that if you were both lonely, you could be unlonely together. Jack could and would get his kisses from just about anyone else in the universe. The only person who the Doctor wanted was you. Wouldn’t it be fair for you and the Doctor to be together while Jack had the rest of the universe? Yes, that was perfectly fair.

This, of course, was all very ridiculous, and the Doctor knew it.

He had no proof, or even the barest bit of evidence, that you and Jack were anything other than good friends. And he wasn’t so silly as to think that he could just ask you for a kiss, or that he could woo you like a Gallifreyan might, but it was a beautiful fantasy that he liked to entertain. And it was true that humans got lonely. Your species was meant to be in pairs. There were some of you who didn’t need it or want it for some reason or another, but the majority of human beings were much better off when they were in pairs. Romantic pairs, that is, and devout pairs, not the casual sort. And you didn’t weren’t part of a pair, which meant that you could have all the friends in the world, but that would not stop you from feeling that loneliness. The Doctor empathized, to a degree - Gallifreyans didn’t feel that pressing urge to find a bond-mate until much later in their lives (the second puberty, if you will), so the Doctor had gotten through many of his regenerations with some curiosity towards the idea but no sense of loneliness or hurt in his lack of partner. Then he had hit the age when that changed, and since then, there had been a terrible gap that he wanted someone to fill. That he wanted you to fill, if he could have his pick, but he doubted you would agree. So, knowing what it felt like, to be missing the other half of something so dear and yet not knowing how to find it… the Doctor couldn’t find it within himself to be angry or blame you at all if you were interested in Jack

The Doctor opened the door to the TARDIS, arguing with himself over whether or not to find you immediately or leave you in peace with Jack. As it turned out, there was no answer to that debate, because Jack was sitting in the console room, looking awful, and you were nowhere to be seen.

Jack looked up at the Doctor with an odd expression on his face. The Doctor stared back even as he shut the TARDIS door behind him.

“… Jack…?” the Doctor ventured to say. “What’s the matter with you, eh?”

Jack grimaced. “I screwed up, Doc.”

The Doctor blinked in surprise. Jack wasn’t terribly proud, not compared to many of the Doctor’s other companions, but rarely admitted to failure before he was absolutely sure that he couldn’t fix his mistake or at least give another attempt to do better. 'I screwed up’ were not words to be heard from Jack Harkness’s mouth.

“What happened?” asked the Doctor, dreading the answer.

“It was…” Jack sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I was just trying to get her to admit it to herself, y'know? It’s been hurting her. I can tell. I thought that if she could say it in front of me, maybe she could tell you, and then you’d both stop dancing around it like it’s not there… you two would be so perfect, and you don’t even…”

The Doctor’s nose wrinkled in confusion. “Jack, what are you talkin’ about?”

Jack scoffed. “Both of you are hopelessly oblivious. Doc, she loves you.”

No. No, no, not this. Jack wouldn’t pull such a cruel joke.

“I mean, she really loves you. She is in love with you. She has been for ages. Maybe even before I met you guys. I dunno.”

Stop. Stop, it hurts. Don’t lie. Don’t tease. It hurts.

Then Jack sighed again, heavily, and pursed his lips. “I tried, and I screwed it up. She got upset. Cried. I’ve never made her cry before, Doctor. And what did you do that has her so convinced that you don’t love her, huh?”

I never said anything. Actions speak louder that words, but I never kissed her, either, and I never gave her a flower or shiny thing or a note full of love words. What I’ve done for her, she could logic away to concern and friendship and the protection of a companion. I never said that I love her in straight words or unquestionable actions. How was she to know?

“Where is she?” the Doctor asked when he finally regained his voice.

“Kitchen,” Jack grunted.


You furiously scrubbed away at a pan that you had already scrubbed twice. You were soaked all down the front of your shirt from splashing yourself. There were suds on your face that itched and your fingers were starting to prune, but you didn’t care. You were too upset to care. You usually knew better than to take anything Jack said too seriously, but this time, that was impossible.

“Hey.”

You paused. When had the Doctor gotten back? “Hey, Doctor. I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I love you.”

The pan you were scrubbing slipped from your grip and splashed loudly into the sudsy water in the sink. You turned around so that you could face the Doctor, scrubbing-brush still clenched in your hand.

“I love you,” the Doctor repeated, green eyes large and pleading, "and I… I know that I’ve never said anything about it, or shown you how I care, and I’m sorry. I was… scared. I haven’t, I mean, felt this way, not since… well, Rose, really, but this isn’t about Rose. It’s about you. And me, but mostly you. Or, um, us. Because Jack said, and I- I- I want… I want what he said.“

You swallowed, trying to make your voice come out steady: "And what… did Jack say, that you want?”

“That you love me,” the Doctor whispered, stepping closer to you, “and that we would be perfect.”

“I bet we would be,” you agreed, and the Doctor’s eyes lit up.

“I was thinking the exact same thing!” he exclaimed, and he swept you up for a kiss, soapy clothes and pruned fingers and all.