Conservatives: “There is a finite amount of dollars in the world, we can’t help everyone. The debt is too high. We need to tighten our belts. Healthcare reform and college education reform are too expensive. There’s no such thing as free stuff. Taxes are the government stealing. Let’s take care of our own needy first. These deficits are out of control.” Conservatives: * Support wasting 20+ billion dollars on a useless vanity project wall for Trump to metaphorically blow himself with*
Sam notices you acting differently almost immediately. He is in tune with most peoples emotions, so of course he’s in tune with yours. He notices your short responses and little interaction and decides to give you some space for a short while. Once he realises how pointless that is, he decides to confront you. He finds you in sitting on the end of the motel bed, head in hands. He stays quiet before sitting down beside you, his hand moving to rub small circles on your back. “Want to talk about it?” he asks quietly before you shake your head, keeping your eyes focused on the floor. His hand moves to your chin as he tilts your head up to look at him. It only took one look for your sobs to escape you without your control. He wastes no time before wrapping his arms tightly around you, telling you that everything will be okay and that he loves you as he places kisses on your forehead and temple. Although the pain doesn’t disappear, his presence brings you comfort as you feel safe and protected in his arms.
Dean picks up on your feeling down as you tend to act the same way he does. You almost shut down as you immediately distance yourself from him and others, your mind racing as you think of every possible bad thing. At first he doesn’t know how to act as your feeling bad makes him feel extra empathetic since you’re the person he feels connected to the most. When he finally decides to talk to you about it, he finds you locked away in the bathroom as he hears your sobs through the door. “Y/N? Open the door” he says quietly as his heart starts racing. “Please, Y/N…” he whispers before you finally open the door, staring up at his as tears rolled off your cheeks. He quickly wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you cry into his chest. He doesn’t say much as he just holds you, he knows you can’t talk right now and he knows you just need him to be there. He’d hold you for hours if you’d let him, his arms holding you tightly at all times. He tells you he loves you and presses a firm kiss on your head, letting you get out the bottled up feelings inside you.
Cas always struggles with how human beings feel and act, but it’s always been different with you. He can tell you’re acting different with a simple facial expression, he doesn’t need you to tell him for him to know something is wrong. He has loved your soul long enough for him to know you inside and out, you’ve always been an open book with him. He notices you trying to distract yourself, taking on case after case until you were worn out. He catches you mid-case, panicking when you couldn’t figure out what was doing the killings. You didn’t notice him until you were already sucking back tears. As soon as you looked up at him, your hands moved to wipe away yours tears; playing it off as if it was nothing. Without a word, he reached out to grab your arm; pulling you towards him before you melted in his hold. The tears poured out of you as you struggled to breathe, but his chin tucked into the crook of your neck somehow made you feel like you were going to be okay.
but most of the time, you have all the time in the world! i mean, its not like you are aging....
“Sure. Let the humans destory themselves, leave the vampire council behind to make their own descisions, and make sure to let Russia go nuts in the meantime. It’s true. I have all the time in the world. To make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“Perhaps some time in the future I’ll leave the responsibilities behind. Now is just not the time.”
I think the problem with my social anxiety is that I feel, as I said before, like it’s a performance. Meaning that I feel that I’m the central cog, the keystone, instead of one of the many gears or stones that make up the conversion. I bear the brunt of holding the convo, keeping things moving, instead of letting things flow. It makes others feel less influential and that in turn keeps others from wanting to interact with me. So the fix here is simply to let others have control and just stop wasting so much energy. I can save a bit there.
But then there’s the part where I feel that others think I’m stupid or uncool, and that translates to me being uncomfortable and awkward. Where I look to them for validation. I am missing a key here that will unlock what it means to be comfortable.
The key perhaps is self esteem. It’s believing I have a right to interact (that’s a big problem with me thanks to my mother and my peers when I was young - they made me feel I didn’t have rights) with others and that I am worthwhile. Having positive self esteem would affect the way I carry myself, which in turn affects the way others see me from the beginning.
I see the world in terms of possibilities. When I’m in a convo I see the possibility of me being cool, of me making a stupid joke, of me telling them they disgust me. Even if I don’t feel something, I still have the possibility in my head. And that’s very fucking distracting. There’s a voice in my head that tells me shit like that as well. Like, I’ll be talking and suddenly it chimes in and I lose concentration. It usually says very unhelpful and unrelated things. I think everyone has something like that. It’s just that mine is abnormally loud.