Finals are approaching and the air of stress is beginning to condense into a rain shower.
A fellow student doctor was just sitting on my couch not five minutes ago, discussing with me her fears regarding the upcoming weeks.
“I feel like I am in control and then I am not in control and then I force more control and then I lose more control,” she said. “It gets really bad and this has happened before.”
She is a good friend of mine now and I know her fairly well despite only having met her in August. She is a woman of sincere faith and a good Christian–full of love and acceptance of others.
“When you think about it,” I replied, “There really is no control, ever. Everything is just happening and there is a divine movement behind it. The notion of control is a human folly. The best we can do is move with the movement, like riding a wave. Maybe we can ride it and go where we want. And maybe, at times, we will falter. But regardless the wave will sweep us along and take us where we are going to go, whether we want to or not.”
I feel the stress too but I know it is not me or mine. It is just part of the movement and I let it be. I know it will go the same way it came.
She left my apartment feeling a bit better, I think.