control your buttons

Watch out, Freddy! It’s the big bad demon guy!

He’s surely going to wreck your car, just like he did to everyone els–

…oh? What’s that you’ve got there?

A remote, at a frequency to override his car’s wireless controls! Brilliant!

Your random button-mashing is sending him out of control! Quickly, knock him off while you can!

Like, seriously Freddy, do it. He’s trying to kill you!

Uh… Freddy? Hello? It’s only minorly inconveniencing him the way you’re doing it right now….

Why are you still… look, just push your thumb half an inch to the right, and hold it for two seconds. He’ll go off the cliff.

Demon guy goes over the ledge, which activates the parachute every car has in this race, just in case he isn’t really the monster you think he is… it’s safe either way.

…he’s getting away, Fred. 

Seriously, buddy, he was a second away from killing Shaggy and Scooby in a huge fireball yesterday, and is trying very hard to kill you right this second

You might want to do something about this.

Oh, look, he was able to calmly walk back to the drivers’ seat.

Right before presumably spending a few minutes futzing around with his seat settings.

Oh, look, he rammed into the Mystery Machine as hard as he could.

Oh, look, the force somehow made you throw the remote out the window.

Oh golly gee, would you look at that.



Safe Word

Originally posted by xiivix-kei

(A/N:  I’m a bit rusty with smut I haven’t written it in ages xD However it’s really long though so buckle in. Rough sex included.) 

“Mmm baby, harder.” 

You groaned, grasping Taemin’s strong shoulders as he kissed your neck amorously, thrusting his hips in to you slowly but with a force that made the bed creak. You felt Taemin grin against your neck. With a cheeky smirk on his lips and a glimmer in his eyes, he gazed at you. 

“If I go any harder I’ll hurt you jagiya.” 

He uttered lovingly.

“Hurt me…just a little.” 

The words slipped from your mouth without thinking how Taemin would react first; you’d never asked him to be rough before even though you’d always wanted him to. Taemin’s stunning deep brown eyes widened at your request. 

“Is that really what you want baby? I’m scared I’ll go too far.”

He said with a hint of doubt in his voice like he couldn’t trust himself but you knew Taemin inside and out; you knew he knew your body like his own heart beat. Taemin wasn’t capable of going too far. 

“You won’t Tae. I trust you.” 

You replied, running your fingers through his surprisingly soft pitch black hair that shone beautifully in the dim light of your bedroom. Taemin broke eye contact for a moment, biting his invitingly plump bottom lip as he thought about what you said. He stopped moving his hips and held your hands sweetly, interlocking his delicate fingers with yours.

“Okay. As long as we have a safe word or something. I want you to enjoy yourself but I have to know my limit. You have to tell me to stop if I hurt you.” 

He said, looking so serious. It was weird to see him be so anxious and nervous about something but you were glad that he wanted to try it for you. Deep down, you knew Taemin had dominance running through his veins.

“Okay Tae, a safe word. How about danger? The song that made me fall for your music.” 

Your comment brought Taemin back to life as he grinned, fond of the thought and how relevant it was to the situation. He agreed that danger would be the safe word and then for a moment, the two of you stared at each other intensely, waiting for the other to make a move like a metaphorical ticking bomb.

On your hands and knees, Taemin grabbed your hair from behind you, making your arch your back and whimper. He’d barely done anything to you and you were already close to fainting with how hot it was to be taken control of. 

“Is this what you like jagiya? Being all mine and no one else’s?” 

Taemin growled. You could feel his hard erection rubbing against your wetness. He was being the hugest tease, refusing to fuck you until you were grovelling and yelling his name. You could barely speak so you just nodded your head but that wasn’t good enough for Taemin. With a harsh slap on your butt cheek, he made you perk up. 

“I like it, Taemin.” 

You moaned; his cock was so close to your entrance that you tried wiggling on to it, pleasing your lover. You could almost sense his satisfied smirk. 

“Poor baby. You want my cock don’t you? You want me to hurt you with it, don’t you baby girl?” 

Taemin continued to speak and then spank your butt hard whilst he talked dirty. The pain was mild but a red glow soon started to arise on your sensitive skin. 

“Fuck me Taemin, please!” 

You finally cried, unable to control your hunger any longer. Harder, Taemin pulled your hair so when he shoved his hard, thick cock inside you, the impact made you yelp in a mixture of pain and pleasure. Never before had you felt so full and aroused because of him. You barely had time to adjust to his size before he started moving. The sound of him grunting was so hot. His fingers dug in to your hips as he yanked your body back, forcing you to meet his thrusts. You could feel every inch as his manhood almost hit your cervix; the feeling was incredible. Using the position to his advantage, he leaved over your back and held your boobs in his hands, massaging them delicately before rubbing your tingling nipples between his fingers. You felt his hot breath as he panted close to your ear. With all of your senses heightened, you wanted to cum but Taemin was no where near done with you yet.

Taemin knelt on the bed with you riding him, your legs outside of his in a reverse cowgirl position but better as his chest pressed up against your back intimately, he could whisper dirty things in your ear, he could reach down and rub your throbbing clit and he did; he used everything to the full potential. Dominantly, Taemin placed his hand around your neck whilst his fingers circled your clit, playing with your body like it was a remote control and pressing all your buttons. You hadn’t had anyone’s hand around your neck before though you’d heard that slight asphyxiation can do weird things to your body during sex. Though you were anxious about it, you tried to trust Taemin as you knew you could stop at any time. As his grasp around your neck got tighter, it was like you couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his cock hitting your G-spot and his fingers rubbing between your soaking folds. Rolling your head back on Taemin’s shoulder, you could see him biting his lip out of the corner of your eye. He was immensely turned on. 

“Jagi, you look so fucking sexy. Do you want it harder?” 

Taemin asked in a deep, seductive voice, his eyes burning with lust. Honestly, you weren’t sure you could take anymore. You were so close to cumming but the word ‘yes’ came out of you like you had no control over yourself anymore. 

Aggressively, he pushed you back on the bed, grabbing your legs and tugging you closer to him with an almost evil smile. Your pussy was aching and sore with the relentless fucking but Taemin seemed unstoppable; he wouldn’t go slowly either. You asked for rough and you got it, with him pummelling you with his rock solid erection. It made your pussy grip him tightly; he groaned deeply in response, squeezing his eyes shut at the pleasure. Taemin looked divine with his body glazed in sweat, his dark hair falling over his forehead; you could have had an orgasm at the sight of him alone. When you wrapped your legs around his waist, drawing him in closer, he soon returned to his authoritative state of mind, lunging his cock inside you deeper, harder while slapping your globe like breasts. He brought his mouth to your nipples, sucking on them and licking them, causing you to mewl submissively. You were almost breathless. Seeing how close you were to finishing, Taemin kissed your neck passionately, hitting all of the right spots. It was becoming so hard to stay quiet. You felt the heat of an orgasm forming in your pelvic region like a bubbling volcano about to errupt, making you dig your finger nails in to Taemin’s upper back. You were sure it was hurting him but in his euphoric state, Taemin didn’t seem to care about the scratches on his back.

“Cum baby. Cum on oppas cock!” 

Taemin grunted through gritted teeth, awfully close to finishing as well. He sunk his teeth in to the fleshy part of your neck and sucked on it hungrily, making a big deep purple mark on your your skin; Taemin’s claim on you. As he sucked on your neck like a wild beast, you threw your head back on the pillow as the orgasm shook you to your core. It felt like you were gripping Taemin’s cock like a vice and within seconds, his seed filled you, making you feel warm and complete.Exhausted, Taemin rested his head on your chest. It was your natural reaction to hold him close to you and play with his hair as the two of you desperately tried to catch your breath. 

“I knew I could trust you.” 

You uttered tiredly yet happily, the spell of sleep trying to curse you. Taemin chuckled, romantically taking your hands in his once again. 

“I think I was the one who needed a safe word baby.” 


Originally posted by archiemcphee

Reader x Jongin
Fluff with no real purpose other than its own fluffiness

‘Cover me! Cover me!’ you yelled at the screen. Your fingers moved madly across your controller, mashing buttons at the speed of light.

‘I can’t! I’m caught on this tree!’ Minseok screamed back.

You were both perched on the edge of the couch, yelling and carrying on with each other. You were supposed to be a team in this game; you were supposed to be working together, but most of the time so far had been spent trying to sabotage each other. Screw the rules, this was way more fun.

You hadn’t noticed what time it was when you heard the noise from the doorway.

‘What are you guys doing?’ came the voice.

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  • <p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Gryffindor:</b> are early mornings with coffee that burns your tongue because you don't want to wait for it to cool down; old well loved hardback books with split spines; long good morning texts; caffeine induced tired eyes; red ink-stained fingers from poetic words; cracked smiling lips that hold secrets in a romantic language; soft touches on flushed freckled cheeks; full-bellied laughs so loud you have to laugh along; hyper voiced explanations about things they love; leaning back on rickety chairs anticipating the adrenaline inducing feeling of falling; hazel eyes that see and know everything about everyone; the feeling you get from walking around listening to music in the bright sunlight; flannel shirts only slightly unbuttoned; the tapping sound of a pen against a school desk; the feeling of staring out large windows and wishing for sunshine on pale skin; the warm summer breeze on pale skin; the feeling of skin on skin touch; fingers grasping at dark green grass; the smell of burned wood in the warm summer night air; an hour long nap after filling your stomach; hands running through damp hair; knowing silences; understanding head nods; worried almost green eyes.<p/><b>Ravenclaws:</b> are the first sounds of birds chirping in the morning, letting you know you stayed up too late; the feeling of laying awake whilst the world sleeps; the sound of blue ink pens scrapping along lined paper; the satisfaction of anecdotes in university texts; cool fall nights that almost don't require a hoodie; the sound of running natural water against rocks; the pit in your stomach that reminds you that you forgot to eat today; the warm feeling of making your friends laugh; the matching pair of hazel eyes as a reminder you're not alone; the feeling you get from talking to someone in a language only they understand; the overwhelming feeling of needing answers; the tapping of fingers against game controller buttons; your favorite well worn blue sweater; the warmth of comforters up to your ears; a genuine meaningful smile; long nights of thinking about the galaxy around you; intensely deep conversation that give you chills; silence that is never empty; racing thoughts; one knee shaking from over thinking; the feeling of laying on damp grass; the sound of rain on bedroom windows; cloudless nights filled with stars; cloudy mornings threatening rain; freshly opened moleskin journals; childhood nostalgia.<p/><b>Hufflepuff:</b> are chipped nail polish on bitten fingernails; hair that can't decide if it wants to be straight; stray hairs falling from a loose ponytail framing freckled cheeks; sun-kissed skin threatening to burn; eyes like an dark evening summer storm; running your fingertips softly over exposed skin; crisp winters of freshly fallen snow; wolves howling before a storm; flushed faces and chapped lips from chilly nights; a full moon behind barely clouded skies; soft giggles as an attempt to hold back embarrassing laughter; the feeling of sleeping on your stomach under thick comforters; the scent of freshly washed clothes; old blankets against bare skin; worn brown combat boots covered in dirt; heart racing to the point of becoming exhausted; full fake smiles and high-pitched lying voices; the feeling of coming down from forced socialization; charcoal rubbed against the side of a cramping hand; black ink pens stuck in loosening hair; warm vanilla baking in chocolate chip cookies; long silences sitting between relaxing and anxiety-inducing; the glow of soft street lights late at night; whispering voices in listening ears; soft paperback books with bent pages; pitch black bedrooms with soft lighting; the sudden cool breeze of the day coming to an end; the feeling of your eyes adjusting to darkness; stepping in freshly fallen snow; the wind blowing through your hair while driving with your windows down; the smell of salt in dried ocean hair.<p/><b>Slytherin:</b> are wide grins when they know they're right; hands rubbing behind a sunburnt neck; the adrenaline behind skipping class to adventure around the park; old music that brings you to tears; the first cigarette lit in the early morning; burned black coffee; old thick quilts lying on soft couches; the soft glow of the afternoon light through dusted curtains; eyes colored like sunshine through a bottle of bourbon; the smell before nighttime rain; deciding between sleep or seeing the sunrise; tapping your fingers along to your mothers favorite song; realizing the stage of waking from a nightmare to the break of reality; hands in tangled hair; the constant worry about missing expectations; feeling overwhelmed by the knowing of time being lost; the sounds of a room full of voices; late night whispering phone calls; the feeling after your first bitter heartbreak; constant headache inducing nostalgia; always wondering what you did wrong versus what you did right; nervousness behind thinking you're wrong when you know you're right; the feeling of screaming into your pillow after fighting with someone you love; broken guitar strings and sore finger tips; the seasons changing to remind you nothing is eternal; the smell of spring nights; dark red roses.<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

so after that uglyass search bar hit one of my blogs I naturally had to meddle with it because it’s totally unnecessary and intrusive, and I’ve found something of a workaround to make it at least tolerable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

adding the element .tmblr-iframe–unified-controls to your theme code will let you edit that search bar like any other theme asset. 

I personally just set opacity:0.5; but you can make it completely invisible by adding display:none; , but people won’t be able to use your tumblr control buttons on your blogfront if you do :’)

visual example:

just so you all know :^) 

Mark thinks Lisa’s manipulative ways are to blame instead of his lack of self-control on the spiral staircase.


Biohazard ASCII Controller (Resident Evil Dedicated Controller)

More Biohazard/Resident Evil
More Peripherals/Controllers

This asymmetrical PlayStation controller is made specifically for Biohazard fans. With your left hand gripping the handle of a knife and your right hand on that of a gun - it is no wonder this thing is endorsed by the Raccoon City Police Department.

Jokes aside, this controller feels great in your hands. It actually holds better than a ps1 controller…and I have held that thing most of my life….

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