Human Sayings are Weird

We have a lot of weird expressions.  Some are anachronistic, having come from a time and place that no longer exists, leaving us with a phrase that seems to have no context; one of these would be to “bite the bullet”, which referred to the practice of literally biting down on a bullet (or a piece of would) while someone operated on you/seared a wound shut, to keep yourself from screaming too much or biting your mouth and hurting yourself.  In an era of much more precise surgeries and anesthesia, the context no longer exists, but the phrase is still used.

Then there are phrases that are deliberately hyperbolic.  “I’m going to tan your hide”. for example, is a descriptive way to tell someone you’re going to beat them, but odds are good you’re not literally going to be tanning their hide.

So I was thinking that a group of enterprising aliens would form a betting pool around certain words and phrases; you can bet whether phrases are anachronistic, literal, or hyperbolic, and then the pool pays out when the phrase is confirmed one way or another.  

Which brought me to an amusing little scene in my head.


Malchior 7 was an incredibly hostile planet.  All the local flora and fauna had self-defense features that would kill most species.  It was advised, if you were determined to visit, to wear full haz-mat suits and bring at least one human.  Most dangerous of all were the dominant species, a carnivorous form of primate with near-sapient intelligence, clever enough to use tools and form societies, but either not intelligent enough or too violent to have dialog with outside races.

So when a scouting party was ambushed by a large warband of these primates, the alien members fled in terror, only realizing about twenty paces down the path that the humans were standing and fighting.  Their hazmat suits were already ripped from the beasts’ claws, and their guns hand been knocked from their hands, but the humans still fought, wresting the primates’ weapons from their hands and turning them on their creators.  One of the humans managed to get a firm grip on the ankle of one of the beasts, and began slinging him back and forth, using the primate as a flail to slam into his cohorts.

One of the aliens let out a warble of delight, hurriedly pulling out its comm device and beginning to record, while simultaneously opening a codex page and beginning to type.

“Gor’thax, this is hardly the time!”

“You don’t understand.  I am about to make SO.  MUCH.  PROFIT.”  The alien uploaded the footage to the codex, with the title “[VIDEO PROOF - LITERAL PHRASE] “I’m going to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker.”“

This is one of those things that I cannot find a political reason to explain. POTUS withdrawing from the Accord makes no sense if you ask the electorate, no sense if you ask Energy Sector leaders, no sense if you ask the military, no sense if you ask economic experts, and certainly no sense if you ask scientists. 

With nothing else left to explain it, I return to the same question, I’ve been asking for months, 

Is this malicious, or just stupidity?

(Sierra Club)


I just finished reading ‘Shakespeare On Toast’ by Ben Crystal and oh my gosh I loved this book! I wish I’d read it before my GCSEs, since I now have a much better understanding of how the plays were written and why certain things are as they are.

Did you know that ‘thou’ and ‘you’ in Shakespeare are like tu and vous in French (informal and formal/plural)?
Knowing this, you can pick up on meaningful subtleties, because when a character switches 'thou’ to 'you’ or vice versa it always means something.
For example, Lady Macbeth never uses 'thou’ to her husband again after he tries to persuade her that they shouldn’t kill Duncan.

Interesting, huh?

I can’t believe I have just spent days of my life defending people I don’t even fucking like because there are actual cunts on this website who 

a) think you should be able to physically assault people who disagree with them

b) think context doesn’t matter

c) think jokes are any kind of -ist, or are in any way inherently bad because they’re against some protected group

d) don’t think freedom of speech should apply to those they disagree with, and are willing to hurt people and violently riot in order to shut them up

You’re all terrible, you have wasted my time and you have only proven yourselves to be the fascistic cunts that you claim to hate. 

Russia’s intelligence services interfered in the 2016 presidential election to hurt Hillary Clinton and help Donald Trump win, the U.S. intelligence community says. During this time, American spy agencies say, they also found that people connected to Trump’s campaign were communicating with Russians in ways that caused “concern."The story has raised many big questions. So NPR News has created this resource of background information to try to help make it all a little clearer.

Learn More About The Trump-Russia Imbroglio

Photos: Getty Images; Illustration: Chelsea Beck and Brittany Mayes/NPR

On the fallacy of claiming foreign terror is the greatest threat to our nation: You are 5.5 times more likely to be killed by the police than foreign terrorists.

I can appreciate the gut deep fear of terrorism. It’s unusual, it’s dramatic, it’s traumatic. It sticks in your mind and it haunts you. That’s why they do what they do. There are far more efficient ways of killing people. The things they do are meant to unnerve you. 

That does not make them the greatest threat. 

Put another way, as frightening and disturbing as events like 9/11 are, an American’s unfathomably remote chances of winning the Powerball lottery jackpot are many times greater than those of being killed by a refugee terrorist on any given year — and even higher compared to the odds of being killed by an illegal immigrant terrorist.