Chris turned the phone in hands sitting in rest room. These days stood out extremely heavy. Mad rush of patients to the clinic gave no respite. He really wanted to call Atisha and apologize to her as long as necessary. But his power is only enough to come home late at night, in bed and fall asleep over the phone. And this was repeated for several days.
He was afraid.He understood that the longer the silence, the chances of reconciliation with Atisha reduced. Whether she pardoned him after he escaped? Chris knew that he was wrong and should not have run away, leaving Atisha alone. But he could not look her in the eye after all that has happened.
He again raised his finger over her name in the phone. Again he could not dial the number.
Coward,” - he thought contemptuously. “I hate myself”.
- Chris! - In the staffroom ran nurse. - New patient, faster!
The young man sighed and got up and ran after her down the hallway.
He stood there, looking at the empty operating table with unseeing eyes.
- Nick, - he whispered. - What is it?
He burst into the operating room, and saw the patient on the table, issued a plangent cry. On the table lay Nick in a terrible state. He barely raised his eyelids; one eye was already closed murky film.
- Brother, - he said. - It’s you. What a miracle that it was you.
He coughed. Blood fan flew out of his mouth, splashing all around.
- Shut up, Nick - Chris was terrified. - Now we…
- I have a little time, Chris, - he interrupted him in a voice erupted imperious tone. - Listen to me … I’m an idiot. I’m really - he coughed again. - I was raped by Atisha was hoping … … that if you have parted, I can win it. To make peace with it, so you need her … She’s pregnant, Chris, I hope you will become a father
He went into coughing. Blood trickled down his chin; he has hardly keep his eyes open. He strained his eyes, focusing them on a brother.
- I’m sorry, Christian, - he said bitterly. - I’m a lousy brother.
- Nick, please! I forgive you, but do not you dare die!
- Farewell … It’s good … well … make up with Atisha …

Nick closed his eyes and went limp.
Chris shouted.
Nurse long stroked his shoulder. They are with the senior surgeon hardly took him out of the operating room, stuck his sleeping pills and now she was sitting next to, looking at his sleeping face. In the dream, he paced, moaning and calling Atisha.
Then, suddenly I woke up and sat on the sagging couch in rest room.
- I’m still here - surprised he said. He looked out the window. - It’s morning, and I’m still here!
- Chris, you go home, you need to rest, - said the nurse pleaded.
- Once - he snapped. - No more fear.
He sped away. A nurse sat there, hunched over. She liked Chris.
Before Dorothy door Chris took a deep breath and pressed the bell. He was sure that she Atisha.
The door opened slowly. The narrow corridor was Atisha. Her pale face paled even more when she saw Chris. The young man stepped forward and grabbed the girl.
- Atisha, - he whispered, - Atisha. Oh, my girl, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry to you …
He was shaking. Atisha closed her eyes and clung to him more. What does she do now?
- Died? - I whispered in horror Atisha.
Nick … Yes, she wanted to see him no more, but not in the same way! In her heart ached when she thought about what Nick had died in front of Chris and that he could not save him. How to help him?
Chris saw the carpet under your feet. Dorothy politely does not protrude out of the bedroom.
- It’s my fault, Chris. This I called Nick to talk to him, and because I was hit by a truck.
- And if I had not run away, it just did not happen. Atisha, nobody is to blame. It happened.

He pulled her to him. They were silent.
- I love you, Atisha, - suddenly said the young man in silence. - What do I do to make you forgive me? I was so scared, and I did not dare to call you, and if not for Nick’s death … I do not know, could come to you or not. I’m a coward, Atisha. But without you I absolutely can not live without. I want to make you happy, but instead has spoiled everything. Nick was always better than me in everything, and I at some point gave up when he realized that he is experiencing feelings for you. All these years I was afraid that unworthy of you - a poor student, and even younger. What could I give you? But you’re always there, supporting me and this gives us confidence. It is absolutely incredible happiness, when you’re around. But I understand if you do not want to see me. I myself something to see yourself do not want to just run away from yourself will not work …
Atisha looked up at Chris’s tear-stained face. He had dark, impenetrable eyes and lost against the background of the pupil of the iris. Bloodshot whites … how long it normally does not sleep? Sunken cheeks and lips bitten till blood. Most dear and loved one. How hard it is all …
She took his hand in his and pressed it to her belly.
- I do not know whose child it is, Chris. Can you live with me, with the thought that maybe you’re not the father?
He looked the girl in the eye. Again and again he was drowning in them and was willing to do it for the rest of life.
- I’ll always be there, Atisha.


DNA test, made shortly after the birth of a tiny girl, Chris proved paternity.

The End.



Flashback 1|2

Russian text

Thanks to all, who reading my story and comment!♥♥♥

30 Signs Of Emotional Abuse In A Relationship

Please. Please. Please, keep in mind that ANY relationship can be abusive. Romantic or not.

1. They humiliate you, put you down, or make fun of you in front of other people.

2. They regularly demean or disregard your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

3. They use sarcasm or “teasing” to put you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

4. They accuse you of being “too sensitive” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

5. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

6. They correct or chastise you for your behavior.

7. You feel like you need permission to make decisions or go out somewhere.

8. They try to control the finances and how you spend money.

9. They belittle and trivialize you, your accomplishments, or your hopes and dreams.

10. They try to make you feel as though they are always right, and you are wrong.

11. They give you disapproving or contemptuous looks or body language.

12. They regularly point out your flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings.

13. They accuse or blame you of things you know aren’t true.

14. They have an inability to laugh at themselves and can’t tolerate others laughing at them.

15. They are intolerant of any seeming lack of respect.

16. They make excuses for their behavior, try to blame others, and have difficulty apologizing.

17. The repeatedly cross your boundaries and ignore your requests.

18. They blame you for their problems, life difficulties, or unhappiness.

19. They call you names, give you unpleasant labels, or make cutting remarks under their breath.

20. They are emotionally distant or emotionally unavailable most of the time.

21. They resort to pouting or withdrawal to get attention or attain what they want.

22. They don’t show you empathy or compassion.

23. They play the victim and try to deflect blame to you rather than taking personal responsibility.

24. They disengage or use neglect or abandonment to punish or frighten you.

25. They don’t seem to notice or care about your feelings.

26. They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual.

27. They withhold sex as a way to manipulate and control.

28. They share personal information about you with others.

29. They invalidate or deny their emotionally abusive behavior when confronted.

30. They make subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you.

virgos are reticent to ask for help and reveal their weak points. but their weakness becomes evident to those who become to know them. virgos really are their own worst enemy, typically tense in paralyzed idealism, and desperately self contemptuous. their dream of perfection makes their own flaws and shortcomings so overly emphasised, almost delusional in disproportion. they long to reveal a contained inner state, obsessively focusing on details other people fail to indulge in. their precision and competence is to be admired, because virgos are willing to invest long hours into mastering a task. they have a special talent for devising simple solutions to complex problems. the virgo intelligence is, ‘why didn’t I just think of that?’

As angry as y'all are at Trump,

The Democrats gave him help on his path to the White House.

There was a popular, charismatic candidate that was galvanizing millennials voters, who was widely seen as a competent candidate, with virtually no political baggage and no scandals at all, and in response to his promising candidacy, Debbie Wasserman Schultz conspired with Shillary and her DNC to alienate and suppress his campaign.

The result was the DNC forcing a candidate of legendary unpopularity and multiple scandals on a suddenly reluctant demographic of voters that basically had the singular motivation of “at least she isn’t Trump.”

The Dems gave y'all reasons to be contemptuous of Trump, but none to be supportive of Hillary.

As a result… between those who supported Trump, and those who DESPISED Hillary, there was a population and electorate sizeable enough to defeat Hillary.

Trump won, and the Dems helped him do it.


[…] I worship the power of these lovely two, with that adoring love known to so few. ‘Tis indeed a miracle, one must feel, that two such heavenly creatures are real, hatred burning bright in the brown eyes with enemies for fuel, icy scorn glitters in the gray eyes, contemptuous and cruel. Why are men such fools they will not realize, the wisdom that is hidden behind those strange eyes and these wonderful people are you and I. — Pauline Yvonne Parker

Heavenly Creatures, 1994 | Peter Jackson.

anonymous asked:

34 for andreil?? (No rush of course 😊💖💖)

34. “The way you flirt is shameful.” (sorry this took two weeks ahhajkha)

“Can you hold this for me?”

Andrew stares contemptuously at Neil’s outstretched hand, annoyed but hardly surprised to find nothing in it. 

“Josten… that’s just your hand,” Andrew says, slowly as if to make it easier for Neil to understand.

“Astute observation.”

Andrew chooses to ignore the comment for Neil’s benefit.

“Are you asking me to hold your hand?” he says after a pregnant pause.

“And if I am?” Neil challenges, holding Andrew’s skeptical gaze. 

He never gets the chance to reply because, just then, Kevin bounds into their room, muttering about freshman shirking practice and Aaron’s lack of motivation. Andrew tries his best to ignore what just happened. 

The next day, it escalates. 

They’re on their way to the Court when Neil looks up from his phone, his attention snapping towards a recklessly driving Andrew. 

“Hey Andrew, are you words on a page?” Neil asks. 

“Why the fuc-” 

“Because you’re fine print.”

There’s approximately five seconds of silence out of pure shock before Nicky, in the backseat with Aaron, starts coughing violently in between fits of laughter. Aaron, for once, has nothing to say besides a resentful ‘let this car crash’ glare at no one in particular. 

“Jesus Christ, Neil, what the fuck!” Nicky chokes out, hand clutching his side as he gasps for air. Aaron continues to stare blankly into the abyss. 

But Neil is still watching Andrew for his reaction, none too surprised to find the absence of one. Andrew keeps his eyes on the road, not even sparing a glance at Neil to acknowledge him or his pick-up line. 

Yet, it continues. 

N: “Are you a magnet?”

A: “….”

N: “Because I’m attracted to you.”

Matt: “Neil, that only works for metal…”

N: “Are you google?”

A: “Neil.”

N: “Because you’re the answer to everything I need.”

Nicky: “Do you even know what google is?”

N: “…” [ nervous laughter ]

Until, two weeks after its began, Andrew breaks. 

Pressed against the locker room shower after yet another terrible (”Do you play exy?” “Sadly.” “Because you’re a keeper.”) pick-up line, Andrew finally gives up.

“Why. The. Fuck. Do. You. Keep. Saying. Those?”

“Saying what?” Neil replies with all the faux innocence of a man walking out of a brothel. 

“You know what I mean.”

“Do I?”

Andrew huffs uncharacteristically, hands still gripping the front of Neil’s t-shirt. Neil looks down at Andrew’s hands before grinning devilishly up at the goalkeeper. 

“Hey Andrew-”

“Oh no.”

“-wanna know what my shirt is made out of?”

Andrew all but jogs out of the locker room, but still hears the echo of ‘boyfriend material’ follow him onto the court. 


I stole myself out of every good job since high school. And I never got anywhere. Because you blew me so full of hot air, I could never stand taking orders from anybody. That’s whose fault it is. It’s goddamn time you heard that, Pop. I ran down 11 flights with a pen in my hand today. Suddenly I stopped, you hear me? And in the middle of that office building- Do you hear this? I stopped in the middle of the building and I saw… the sky. I saw all the things that I love in this world. The work and the food. The time to just sit and smoke. I looked at the pen and I thought to myself, “What the hell am I grabbing this for, huh?” Why am I trying to become what I don’t want to be? What am I doing in an office, making a contemptuous begging fool of myself. When all that I want is out there, waiting for me the second I say I know who I am! Why can’t I say that, Willy. Pop, look at me. I’m a dime a dozen.

I understand that some songs are not “objectively” good, but I don’t understand why that justifies the extreme hate some songs get. I genuinely loved EXO’s “Wolf” and “Lotto”, as well as GOT7’s “Hard Carry” and NCT 127’s “Firetruck”. I’m not a stan of any of them. In the end, I’m here to find music I enjoy, and I wish people would stop acting so contemptuous towards people who enjoy those songs.

The Boss Pt.9

Another update today because I wanna finish this series before deadlines at uni kick in. Three more parts to go after this. Will this end happily for everyone involved?

You arrive back home to the aftermath of Tony Stark’s massacre at Legs. You’re the only thing Bucky has left. Will you stay? (1,756 words; Bucky x Reader; 70′s Bucky Strip Club AU; Angst; Character deaths, language) 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

nick... i really just lost a lot of respect for you. ridiculing a fellow content creator's choices when his channel is for fun and speculation, especially when he's said that he regrets it? i always admired how you treated other creators. i'm sorry. i suppose i don't know how to be a fan when you would post something so contemptuous toward another creator.

Fun and speculation shouldn’t come with a side order of malice and smug talk about a man whose work made you thousands of dollars and millions of subscribers.

And this is far from ridicule–this is condemnation for a seriously tall order of disrespect I’ve been keeping quiet about. I am contemptuous towards MatPat because I am always about how you treat other creators. When you’re a Game Theory, or a Night Mind, the creators who are out there breaking their backs to make 100% original work should be elevated and honored far above yourself. Why do you think I always tell you to go to the channels of things I cover, and subscribe to them, and watch their videos, and be happy for them?

MatPat and I only have things to cover because other people made things worth talking about, and I will never put myself before the creators of content I’m covering and benefiting from through my coverage. I am furious with MatPat because he’s broken that code of respect and integrity and demeaned Scott Cawthon. 

MatPat should kiss Scott Cawthon’s feet. Instead, he spit in his face. 

One specifically American contribution to the discourse of empire is the specialized jargon of policy expertise. You don’t need Arabic or Persian or even French to pontificate about how the democracy domino effect is just what the Arab world needs. Combative and woefully ignorant policy experts, whose world experience is limited to the Beltway, grind out books on “terrorism” and liberalism, or about Islamic fundamentalism and American foreign policy, or about the end of history, all of it vying for attention and influence quite without regard for truthfulness or reflection or real knowledge. What matters is how efficient and resourceful it sounds, and who might go for it, as it were. The worst aspect of this essentializing stuff is that human suffering in all its density and pain is spirited away. Memory and with it the historical past are effaced as in the common, dismissively contemptuous American phrase, “you’re history.”
—  Edward W. Said, Preface to Orientalism, May 2003, p. xvi.

Everyone, who contemptuously calls Griffith a fag, because they believe it’s something negative to be gay, should rethink their behaviour. Guts using that word in some translations doesn’t make it cool. Also, we are living in the 21st century, unlike Guts. Stop acting like cavemen, please.

(Whether Griffith is straight or not doesn’t even matter here, that’s not my point.)

*; ★.:。—  character aesthetics ;; the scripturient.

( having a consuming passion and desire to write. )

nobody hates writers more than writers do. the most vicious and contemptuous portraits of writers, both as individuals and as types, appear in books written by writers themselves. nobody loves them more, either. megalomania and paranoia share the writer’s mirror. the writer-as-faust looks into it and sees a grandiose and evil and superhuman mephistopheles, master of magic, controller of destinies, to whom other human beings are as puppets whose strings he controls, or as fools whose hearts and deepest secrets he holds in the palm of his hand; the writer-as-mephistopheles looks into the same mirror and sees a shivering and pathetic faust, longing for eternal youth and terrific sex and untold riches, and clutching desperately to the pitifully delusional belief that he can conjure up these things through the miserable scribbling, the puerile fooling around with words, that he has the overweening nerve to call “art”.


Taboo | Stills

Murder and madness, incest, slavery, and witchcraft… It wasn’t just the presence of Tom Hardy that made Taboo a dark, disturbing, break with tradition, by Jim Shelley

Taboo lived up its name and proved nothing is sacred – not even the most comforting conventions of that great British tradition: Saturday night television.

The legions of caterwauling karaoke contestants had been silenced and there was not a Doctor or Dalek in sight. Politicians desperately doing ballroom dancing and sad celebrities belly-flopping off the top board were noticeable only by their absence.

The magical, innocent, days of sword-fights with Robin Hood or The Musketeers were, like Merlin, ancient history.

Instead, Taboo appeared, spreading like a dark, disturbing, stain across the screen, causing the same contemptuous chaos with the schedule as it’s black-hearted hero (played by Tom Hardy).

As alternatives to the norm go, Taboo was certainly comprehensive.

The first episode alone included references to rape, incest, and slavery, pedophilia and prostitution, evil, witchcraft, ghosts, madness, and ‘The Beast With A Million Eyes and Ears’; men whose lives had been devoted to murder, military genocide, grave-robbing, gold-trading, and bear-fighting in Chancery Lane. Not to mention talk of bags of testicles being devoured by whores and drunken experiments setting ships ablaze with mashed potato. (+)

“Nathaniel paced. The bat hung motionless. Time passed as slowly as it always does when you’re hanging out in cemeteries. Once only was there movement in the street below the railing: a strange four-legged, two-armed creature with a kind of double head came shuffling out of the night. My master caught sight of it and halted in doubt. It passed beneath a lantern, to be revealed as a courting couple, heads resting together, arms entwined. They kissed assiduously, giggled a bit, moved off along the road. My master watched them go with an odd expression on his face. I think he was trying to look contemptuous. 

From then on, his pacing, never particularly energetic, became distinctly halfhearted. He scuffed along, kicking unseen pebbles, and wrapping his long black coat about him in a hunched, uncaring sort of way. His mind did not seem to be on the job. Deciding he needed a pep talk, I fluttered over and hovered by a headstone.

“Perk it up,” I said, “you’re looking a bit lackluster. You’ll put this Harlequin bloke off if you’re not careful. Imagine you’re on a romantic assignation with some pretty, young girl magician.”

I couldn’t swear to it—it was dark and all—but I think he might have blushed. Interesting…. Perhaps this was fertile ground to furrow, in due time.”

Tone/Attitude Words

accusatory -charging of wrong doing apathetic-indifferent due to lack of energy or concern awe-solemn wonder bitter-exhibiting strong animosity as a result of pain or grief cynical-questions the basic sincerity and goodness of people condescension; condescending-a feeling of superiority callous-unfeeling, insensitive to feelings of others contemplative-studying, thinking, reflecting on an issue critical-finding fault choleric-hot-tempered, easily angered contemptuous-showing or feeling that something is worthless or lacks respect caustic-intense use of sarcasm; stinging, biting conventional-lacking spontaneity, originality, and individuality disdainful-scornful didactic-author attempts to educate or instruct the reader derisive-ridiculing, mocking earnest-intense, a sincere state of mind erudite-learned, polished, scholarly fanciful-using the imagination forthright -directly frank without hesitation gloomy-darkness, sadness, rejection haughty-proud and vain to the point of arrogance indignant-marked by anger aroused by injustice intimate-very familiar judgmental-authoritative and often having critical opinions jovial-happy lyrical-expressing a poet’s inner feelings; emotional; full of images; song-like matter-of-fact–accepting of conditions; not fanciful or emotional mocking-treating with contempt or ridicule morose-gloomy, sullen, surly, despondent malicious-purposely hurtful objective-an unbiased view-able to leave personal judgments aside optimistic-hopeful, cheerful obsequious-polite and obedient in order to gain something patronizing-air of condescension pessimistic-seeing the worst side of things; no hope quizzical-odd, eccentric, amusing ribald-offensive in speech or gesture reverent-treating a subject with honor and respect ridiculing-slightly contemptuous banter; making fun of reflective-illustrating innermost thoughts and emotions sarcastic-sneering, caustic sardonic-scornfully and bitterly sarcastic satiric-ridiculing to show weakness in order to make a point, teach sincere-without deceit or pretense; genuine solemn-deeply earnest, tending  sanguineous -optimistic, cheerful whimsical-odd, strange, fantastic; fun