consulting ravenclaw

Hogwarts houses as parents


  • Sets awesome boundaries in the best way to the envy of all other parents
  • Enjoys children most when not having to play on the floor with them
  • Can keep child in line by raising a single eyebrow
  • Has read a couple parenting books and will readily consult a Ravenclaw if the need arises
  • Biggest parenting challenge is trying to avoid pressuring kids into doing things for success/achievement
  • Takes up their kid’s hobbies and enjoys the hell out of doing them with their kid
  • Kids can never get away with anything; do they have eyes in the back of their head?
  • Age they enjoy parenting the most: 21+


  • Loves playing on the floor
  • Has absolutely no idea what they’re doing as parents but makes up for it with enthusiasm
  • Spontaneous trips to the amusement park!
  • Struggles with setting limits because they worry about quashing their kids’ spirit
  • They never quash their kid’s spirit
  • Has awesome talks about everything important from sex to morals to drugs because, eh this is awkward but what the hell, we’re talking about it!
  • Biggest parenting challenge is not losing temper during conflicts
  • Age they enjoy parenting the most: 7-14


  • Has read every parenting book and disagrees with every one
  • Notices any issue with their child, consumes tons of info about it, becomes an expert on it to the point where they can educate their kid’s doctor/teacher, comes up with and executes a Plan™
  • The one every other parent comes to with parenting problems
  • When kids ask Big Questions, has a really strong “Hmm, I wonder, what do you think about that?” game
  • Biggest parenting challenge is learning how to STFU and not overwhelm kids with too much info
  • Doesn’t like playing on the floor
  • Becomes obsessed with children’s books and lets their kid stay up too late reading together
  • Age they enjoy parenting the most: 14-21


  • Babywearing! Guys did you see this new rainbow woven wrap carrier!! Yes I know I already have twelve others, but did you see it?
  • Attachment parenting and bedsharing and Cuddling™
  • Super nonjudgmental of other parents but will hex someone who abuses a child in public
  • The one who shows up to friends who have a new baby with five casseroles for their freezer and starts cleaning the house for them
  • Their teenagers tell them everything
  • Biggest parenting challenge is saying no, because they just love their kid so much and look at their face how can I say no???
  • Age they enjoy parenting the most: 0-7
The Houses Trying to Rob a Bank
  • Gryffindor: *goes up to the Teller* GIVE US THE FUCKING MONEY ASSFUCK!!!!
  • Slytherin: *infiltrates the company, becomes a high-ranking employee, launders thousands of dollars everyday without being noticed*
  • Ravenclaw: *consults a book about bank robbing first*
  • Hufflepuff: *asks the teller nicely*

never ever dreamed that i would ever hit something even fucking CLOSE to this number, so hello, here, have a follow forever! 

i’d bold mutuals except, you know who you are. so i bolded friends, just in case they forgot.


aarontvait / adammonley / aheartfulloffrance / alittlebitmaybe / allp1nkandyell0w / andyflynns / apiarys / aquilldeferred / arojavert / benyoncefabhauser / bisexualrogers / blodwymm / blogjolras / brynniebrynn / buckynats / buckysexual / buckytaire / captainfart / cassiused / christstan / clintparton / consulting-ravenclaw-fairy / courfey-cat / courfius / courfiusette / cynic–grantaire / dameferre / derseofprospit / dwarrowdelves


empiricalformula / enjjolras / erinhatesthings / euphrasiefauchelevent / evilkitten42 / foreverboybucky / fuck-me-barnes / gender-princeghostbuttvin / grantaireyourclothesoff / halfpastjohnegbert / hamerru / handwritingofgod / hellacourf / hellhouse / imaginedragons / jasonforbae / jeanenjolras / jehanthepoet / justawordshaker 


kelsiers / ket-hzard / kiyala / lauras-benanti / laurencombeferre / lecapunk / legallymarx / lucithor / lucymonster / margaretrogers / mayordave / mercutiobenvolio / mitch123k / montparnasseofficial / nebulaism / nolifecrisis / paratactician / peterquit / piratekarkat / piratesollux / pixel-nymph / prouverre / queenchingshih


redemmanems / riley-coyote / ruthvsreality / ryukokiryuuin / samyazaz / sarah-yyy / scarlettwidows / sgtbames / shedreamedofwolves / siriuslikesboys / spectrology / staticafternoon / stereolights / subcourfeyrac / sungender / talkrevolutiontome / the-strangest-sea / theydieholdinghands / tommyshepherrd / trojanwars / virginjolras / vulcanhearted / watsonduck / weretaire

you may use this as material if i should ever unfollow you- just come yell at me and i’ll follow you again like OOPS