“Dad, permission to arrest Rosa for being a jerk.”
“Permission to shoot Amy for being a coward.”
“Stop it, both of you… Now you’ve done it. You’ve made me turn my chair.”
→ inspired by this post and every canon reference about Holt and Kevin being the resident dads
“Are you hiding in my bathroom with a dog you’re deathly allergic to?”
Somehow, despite extensive evaluation, everyone had completely missed that the 1 year old Raymond Holt and Kevin Cozner are adopting is allergic to dogs. Allergy testing hadn’t been performed, and little Amy had just never been exposed to potential allergens during her stay at the orphanage. They don’t even realize it when they bring her home for the first time.
Raymond carries her through the entire house, cooing softly and introducing her to every room. Kevin follows close by, with their 3 year old daughter clutching his hand tightly and staring curiously at the toddler. When the tour is over, Raymond places her on Rosa’s old play mat, waves a few stuffed animals in her face, and leaves to see if Kevin needs help preparing lunch.
Rosa stares at the tiny slobbery stranger for another minute then redirects her attention to the architecturally accurate Eiffel Tower she and her dad had been building out of legos earlier in the day.
She’s just about to start decorating the base of the tower with plastic flowers when she hears a strange half-wheezing, half-choking noise coming from the heap of toys on the floor. When she looks up and sees Cheddar standing over Amy and sniffing at her, Rosa’s first thought isn’t: “Oh no! My new baby sister is allergic to our dog!” It’s actually: “CHEDDAR IS GOING TO EAT THE BABY.”
She’s inclined to run to the kitchen for help, but she’s seen the corgi scarf down his breakfast in mere seconds and is convinced he’ll gobble up her sister before she even makes it past the dining room.
“Cheddar, no! Bad dog! Stop!” She yells, charging toward him and shooing him to another room. She knocks over her lego building in the process, and the noise from that plus her shouting gets her fathers’ attention.
“Rosa, what’s going on?”
“Cheddar was going to eat Amy! Look, she’s so scared!” She points to the toddler, who’s red in the face and taking short, shallow breaths.
Wasting no time, Raymond whips out his phone and dials 911. Kevin scoops the baby in his arms and tries to calm her down.
An ambulance arrives in 4 minutes, Amy’s given a shot of epinephrine, and Raymond rides over to the ER with her for some extra evaluation.
That night, after Rosa’s tucked in bed and Amy’s finally asleep in her crib, Raymond and Kevin sit down to discuss their plan of action. They’ve had Cheddar for long enough that they couldn’t bear giving him up, but as parents, the last thing they wanted was to put their child’s health at risk.
With doing the necessary research and later consulting doctors at the allergy clinic, they settle on dividing their home into Cheddar-free and Cheddar-designated zones. (They decide he should be free to roam the kitchen and master bedroom, considering he had grown accustomed to finding his bowl in the kitchen and because neither of them had the heart to scold him for snuggling in their blankets. The girls’ bedrooms, living room, and dining room were to remain Cheddar-free since Amy was most likely to spend her time there over the years.) They also install an air purifier in each room, implement a scheduled cleaning regimen, and make sure Rosa knows how to use an EpiPen.
The first few years of Amy’s life are miraculously allergy-free - at least until she’s about to turn 4 and sneaking into her fathers’ room.
Her eyes dart around the room as she considers where they might have stashed her birthday present. She had only been there a few times (always right after the vacuuming is done and the sheets and curtains are changed), so she isn’t entirely sure where the best hiding places are.
Before she can peek underneath the bed, she hears footsteps in the hallway and her dad’s voice.
Panicking, she runs into the bathroom and crawls into the tub. She’s just about sure she’s going to get away with this when she hears panting and a low growl. She tries to move as far away from Cheddar as possible, but he pads closer toward her and jumps in the tub as well. Her heart starts racing as she feels her throat tighten and her nose itch. She lets out a little sneeze then quickly clamps a hand over her mouth.
The door opens, and Raymond draws back the shower curtain. He regards her for a moment then wordlessly carries her to her room, where he gives her an epinephrine shot and talks her through the real possible consequences of her actions. She listens, wide-eyed, but mopes for the rest of the day.
Amy’s particularly sad when Rosa gets home from school and goes straight to the backyard to play fetch with Cheddar. - Truthfully, she loves the dog like a little big brother and hates that she doesn’t get to pet him or give him belly rubs.
Rosa catches her sister pouting from behind the window, gives Cheddar a last good scratching behind the ears, then heads inside to find her father.
At her birthday party two days later, Amy opens up a beautifully wrapped box to find a small plush corgi. She gasps and pulls it close to her chest, beaming.
Rosa smiles and ruffles her hair. “It’s crazy stupid you’re allergic to dogs, and I know this isn’t Cheddar, but It does sort of look like him… Maybe we can name him something weird, like, Gouda?”
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