constant paradox

INFJ Confession #2996

Being infj is a constant paradox of wanting to socialize, but at the same time not wanting to talk to anyone & wanting to be alone, but at the same not wanting to be around people

rabbitsedits  asked:

another question: shinichi gave ai that amazing speech about how he wants ran to be happy even if it means he has no place in her heart anymore but why did he tell eisuke his identity to keep him from confessing to ran and possibly making her happy again then? also why did he confess to ran when during that speech he said "she'd miss me even more [if i confessed]"? like.. his words and actions seem to completely contradict each other. this is giving me such a hard time. your thoughts??

Hey there! 

I’ll answer this one first because the other one you sent (coming soon) is longer and I don’t have much time. So: 

Screenwriter’s Rule #1 about creating a complex, varied, interesting character: contradictions. As humans, as people, we are full of constant contradictions, paradoxes, if you will, that make us rich and deep. In other words, we are not flat characters. And, regardless of what a lot of haters try (and fail) to prove, neither is Shinichi. 

Alas this is where the fun begins. That whole speech thing Shinichi so maturely gave Ai all those years ago? Bullshit. Did someone actually believe he meant it? Please. My man is a lot of things, but capable of letting go of Ran is not one of them. 

Rationally, he knows it’s the way to proceed. He knows the logical, good-natured thing to do, (the “good guy” option, if you will) is to let her go and allow her to move on since the end to his condition is nowhere in sight. But, okay, we all know that would change nothing because A) Ran would still wait for him because she loves him and B) Shinichi still thinks (and God bless him for doing so) there is a way out of his situation. So yes, Shinichi is aware that the correct thing to do would be to let Ran go. 

But nothing in love is ever ‘correct’, and, of course, nothing in love is ever logical. 

So Shinichi tries to convince himself that he’s going to help Ran move on because he knows he’s hurting her, but we all know –Ai is the first one– that’s never going to happen. Because this man –boy– has never loved anything in his life as much as he loves Ran. He tells Eisuke who he is because he cannot stand the idea of losing Ran to anyone else. And he tells Ran how he feels because A) my man isn’t perfect and he sometimes panics and does things irrationally, B) it’s the only way he figures she will stop crying and C) in the spur of the moment, it just bursts out of him. 

I’ll summarize this whole thing in simpler terms: it’s like when you tell yourself you’re not going to eat junk food in a week to try and lose weight but then someone plucks a giant piece of chocolate cake in front of you and you realize resistance is futile. That’s essentially the gist of it. Ran is the chocolate cake. 

The fact that his words and actions contradict each other is brilliant. It’s narrative gold. It’s every single one of us. It makes him a complex character, someone who is not as straight-forward minded as we thought initially. But, most important of all, it makes him human. 

And it makes him real. 

being muslim and lgbt is really…complicated, i guess? because you don’t really have that “i can come out and never speak to my family again and i’ll be fine” mindset that christian lgbt people seem to have and you can’t just “keep it hidden away–for your family’s sake. and just pray.” the way straight muslims will tell you do. you understand the seriousness of what calling yourself gay means, but you don’t really comprehend the vehement hatred of lgbt people and why you have to keep one of the biggest parts of your life hidden from your family. you hate yourself for being gay sometimes and other times you hate yourself because you aren’t willing to abandon everything to be able to safely exist as a gay person. you want your family to understand you and accept you, but the chances of you ever coming out and actually telling them are slim to none. your non-muslim lgbt friends don’t understand your attachment to your family and faith and blame you for not coming out of the closet without understanding that you grew up in a community where it’s just not that easy. it just feels like existing in a constant state of paradox where you’re constantly battling internally with yourself and also everyone around you & it’s really, really lonely. 

anonymous asked:

Any fics where Jim and Spock have a child? (Preferably daughter but I really don't care) I'm struggling to find any that feature adoption or something of the like rather than m-preg... thanks :) I love this blog so much thank you!!!

So Wise We Grow by Deastar

“Commander Spock, we have located your son,” the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock’s face that he’s never heard of this kid before in his life. “If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise withing the week.”

The First Four Times Spock Expected a Child and the Fifth Time He Didn’t by lalazee

Babies always come as a surprise, even to the logical Spock. But the last time is a real whopper.

Note: There is a Kirk/Spock biological child, but neither Kirk or Spock were pregnant

a sequence that you never learned by annataylor

When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim’s humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

wip but cute so far

David by WanderingAlice

When Spock met Lieutenant James T. Kirk and his son, David, he did not expect them to become a permanent fixture in his life. He was wrong. 

L’appel du vide by jouissant

“Look,” Jim says. “It’s like I was saying the other day. I think this…uncertainty is kind of a universal constant.”

“It is a paradox,” says Spock. “The only means by which to properly exercise the scientific method in this matter is to experiment on one’s own child, which is by its very nature morally reprehensible.”

In which Jim pops another sort of question, and Spock needs time to think.

Again, in the sequel, DNA combination occurs,but no actual mpreg.

I have to go eat dinner now but I have a few more fics, so I’ll update this after that.

-HRH Rabinowitz

ISTP Confession #52

I cannot handle boredom at all. If I even start thinking about it, my life suddenly loses all purpose and feeling. It’s not like I care much about stuff by default and this condition just makes it worse. Classmates I don’t get along with boring me with their potential love stories? Sarcasm saves the day. Close friends’ jokes and conversation topics getting old? Try subtle shit-talking to create tensions, and with it, some fun in my life. I need almost-constant change (what a paradox) and disruption in my life — at whomever’s cost it might be. This could be because of my inferior Fe and it makes me feel like a bitch at times. My tendency to say things to a person’s face bluntly doesn’t really help.

ichihime simultaneously killed and ressurrected my gay ass and now i live in a constant paradoxical state of being made and unmade at the same time im schrodingers origo

How The Nature of Information Could Resolve One of The Great Paradoxes Of Cosmology

Stephen Hawking described it as the most spectacular failure of any physical theory in history. Can a new theory of information rescue cosmologists?

One of the biggest puzzles in science is the cosmological constant paradox. This arises when physicists attempt to calculate the energy density of the universe from first principles. Using quantum mechanics, the number they come up with is 10^94 g/cm^3.

And yet the observed energy density, calculated from the density of mass in the cosmos and the way the universe is expanding, is about 10^-27 g/cm^3. In other words, our best theory of the universe misses the mark by 120 orders of magnitude.

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