constable turnbull

Things Ray Kowalski is no longer permitted to do at the Canadian Consulate

* Make unwelcome commentary about the contents of the Consular refrigerator.

* Use Consular stationary and Sharpies to redecorate the Queen’s Bedroom.

* Shout out of the windows to random passersby with any iteration of “Hey, did you know Canadians (insert commentary here)”.

* Make unwelcome commentary about the taste of Consular coffee.

* Use aforementioned Consular coffee as mouthwash.

* Draw on Consular portraiture. 

* Ask the pizza delivery person if he ever gets ‘funny money’ from the Consular staff.

* Request Constable Turnbull demonstrate curling using cleaning supplies and the Consular hallway.

* Use Consular curtains as weaponry.

* Declare any part of the Consulate to be under American occupation. 

* Sing the American national anthem (poorly) after doing so.

* Rouse Consular staff at unseemly hours using kitchen utensils.

* Substitute Consular staff hair products with Vaseline or any variation thereof.