conspiracy theories

  • me: constantly criticizes others for not using logic in their arguments and advice.
  • also me: EVERYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY!!!! ALIENS EXIST!!!! BUSH DID 9/11!!! GHOSTS ARE REAL!!!!!!! I WANT TO BELIEVE!!! BERENSTEIN BEARS!! GLITCH IN THE MATRIX!!!

Conspiracy Theorist Max Spiers has been found dead in Poland.

39-year-old Briton Max specialised in UFOs and government cover-ups. He had been staying in Poland with friends, as he was preparing for a big presentation that he was going to give in the summer. Police have assured people that Spiers died of natural causes, despite no post-mortem being carried out. Friends reported that he vomited a dark, sticky liquid before mysteriously dying on a couch in his sleep. The most chilling thing about this story is the last text message Max sent to his mother:

“Your boy is in trouble. If anything happens to me, investigate.”

  • how I used to be: omg i cant believe anyone would think the government would lie to us.
  • me now: the moon landing was faked, the moon is a damn hologram, elvis didnt die, 9/11 was completely an inside job, our whole history is a lie, the government is out to get us and could kill me any minute now and make it so nobody knows of my existence.