I totally get that wacky conspiracy theories are fun to joke about - but if you’re going to joke about lizard people, you should probably be aware that “reptilians” is a code-phrase for “crypto-Jews”.

When conspiracy nuts talk about politicians and celebrities secretly being lizard people, what they’re really implying is that they’re secretly Jewish. The whole “Reptoid conspiracy” thing is just a verbal smoke-screen - a veneer of plausible deniability.

Sure, you probably didn’t mean it that way when you joked about it. You probably weren’t aware of the double meaning at all. This stuff is pretty good at flying under the radar; indeed, that’s the whole point.

But, well, now you know.

Signs as Conspiracy Theories
  • Aries:The moon is just a hologram
  • Taurus:The government killed Paul McCartney and replaced him with a lookalike in order to help them in their agenda to control young people's minds with LSD
  • Gemini:One out of every 25 people is actually a lizard
  • Cancer:Aliens helped construct the pyramids in Egypt and many other world structures
  • Leo:Yoga is actually an evil practice used to get people to worship Satan
  • Virgo:The entire Middle Ages was made up and we're all living around 1500 CE
  • Libra:Cabbage Patch Kids dolls were made to resemble mutant babies created by the US government's radiation experiments used to get people to grow accustomed to babies after nuclear war
  • Scorpio:Elvis Presley never died. He had someone else killed in his place as a stunt and then continued living as a new famous singer.... Cher
  • Sagittarius:Michelle Obama is actually a man and her children are just actors
  • Capricorn:Throwback Thursday was created by the NSA to get people to upload and catalog pictures of themselves that existed before the internet
  • Aquarius:Many of the world leaders are possessed by or are actually reptiles
  • Pisces:The Ice Bucket Challenge is a Satanic baptism ritual
Why Don't We Know Much About Right-Wing Terrorists? Conservatives Fired The Guy Studying Them
Since 9/11 more Americans have died on U.S. soil from right-wing terrorism than from Islamic terrorism and conservatives don't want you to know about it.

After a mass shooting at a historically black church in Charleston, South Carolina, left nine people dead and a right-wing white supremacist arrested, the country once again faces the uneasy question of just how many so-called “home-grown” terrorists are out there – heavily armed, ideologically driven, and violent.

It’s a good question, but it may be tough to answer because for reasons that are astoundingly dimwitted, the Department of Homeland Security pushed out the guy who was in charge of watching them, and dismantled his team all the way back in 2009.

The beleaguered hero of this story is Daryl Johnson, a top government counterterrorism analyst working at Homeland Security who spent six years with the agency amassing a wealth of data on far-right extremist groups that posed various degrees of threat to citizens in the United States. In 2009, in the months after President Obama assumed office, he watched as these groups veered even further right, and began to fear that America’s first African-American president could be the catalyst of a major uptick in hate crimes and anti-government attacks.

In a landmark report released just months into Obama’s term, and now looks downright clairvoyant, Johnson made the case that radical Islam is only a small piece of the terrorism pie:

“Do not overlook other types of terrorist groups,” the report warned, noting that five purely domestic groups had considered using weapons of mass destruction in that period. Similar warnings have been issued by the two principal non-government groups that track domestic terrorism: the New York-based Anti-Defamation League and the Alabama-based Southern Poverty Law Center.

An annual tally by the latter group of what it calls “Terror From the Right” listed 13 major incidents and arrests last year, nearly double the annual number in previous years; the group also reported the number of hate groups had topped 1,000 in 2010, for the first time in at least two decades.

In response to that report, Johnson was destroyed. It wasn’t his integrity or claims that got him in trouble, his facts were solid. Instead, it was the inconvenient truth that much of the threat comes from right-wing conservatives, and even more awkwardly, radical right-wing conservatives who say and think a lot of the same things mainstream right-wing conservatives say and think.

Conservative pundits and politicians were incensed by these facts laid bare and demanded heads roll. DHS officials caved and Johnson was shoved out.

Since his departure, Johnson has only been vindicated. President Obama has faced an unprecedented amount of death threats, hate groups have gained ground (and in places like Bundy Ranch actually boldly stood up to the U.S. Government – and won), and, as we’ve seen, white supremacist attacks are occurring with disturbing regularity. In 2012, Johnson gave an interview with Wired magazine where he said:

“DHS is scoffing at the mission of doing domestic counterterrorism, as is Congress,” Johnson tells Danger Room. “There’ve been no hearings about the rising white supremacist threat, but there’s been a long list of attacks over the last few years. But they still hold hearings about Muslim extremism. It’s out of balance.”

We’re reminded of that imbalance again this week. In fact, the evidence has been around us for some time. In an uneasy coincidence, just one day before a white supremacist massacred unarmed men and women in a South Carolina church, the New York Times published an article reminding Americans that right-wing extremism is a clear and present danger. They couldn’t have known how soon they’d be proven right.

[R]ight-wing extremists averaged 337 attacks per year in the decade after 9/11, causing a total of 254 fatalities, according to a study by Arie Perliger, a professor at the United States Military Academy’s Combating Terrorism Center. The toll has increased since the study was released in 2012.

Other data sets, using different definitions of political violence, tell comparable stories. The Global Terrorism Database maintained by the Start Center at the University of Maryland includes 65 attacks in the United States associated with right-wing ideologies and 24 by Muslim extremists since 9/11. The International Security Program at the New America Foundation identifies 39 fatalities from “non-jihadist” homegrown extremists and 26 fatalities from “jihadist” extremists.

But the DHS and most Americans still remain consumed by fears of Islamic terror attacks. That stubborn refusal to face reality does two things: It allows many dangerous people to go unnoticed until they hurt people and it allows the right-wing ideologues who overtly or subconsciously encourage these people (think Texas Gov. Greg Abbott feeding “Obama is invading Texas” conspiracy theories) to wash their hands of it once something inevitably happens. If no one is studying the links, then no one can speak up about what is happening.

And this will play out again and again, until our nation wakes up and realizes the lives of minorities, the safety of children, and truly combating terrorism in all its forms demands that we put our deference to conservative feelings aside and look at the rotting underbelly of the radical right-wing. Pretending it’s not there just isn’t working.

NOTE: Daryl Johnson, the author of the 2009 DHS Report on Right Wing Extremism, is a staunch Republican and Mormon.

H/T: Jameson Parker at Addicting Info

the signs as conspiracy theories
  • Aries:berenstein/berenstain universes
  • Taurus:reptiles are running america
  • Gemini:fake moon landing
  • Cancer:area 51
  • Leo:people don't need to drink water, thirst is just an addiction
  • Virgo:angelica from the rugrats was schizophrenic and the characters were part of her imagination
  • Libra:hurricanes are controlled by the russian mafia
  • Scorpio:bush did 9/11
  • Sagittarius:the world ended in 2012
  • Capricorn:tupac is still alive
  • Aquarius:paul mccartney died in 1966
  • Pisces:illuminati run the world

UFOs in old artwork- Many theories exist as to why a lot of old canvases appear to depict spaceships in the background. Some people think that it was the artist’s creative attempt to decorate an accidental splash of paint, or they were simply using their imagination to create something unusual that would grab the public’s attention. However a more disturbing theory is that these artists actually saw UFOs, and were painting what they witnessed. The paintings above are just some of the ones that show clear evidence that alien life may have existed centuries ago, if not now. They are certainly hard to explain, and the true identity of these sci-fi looking additions remains a mystery.