considered making this an about me post

i think people tend to underestimate the amount of work that goes into passing for trans people and honestly i’d consider it a skill that is incredibly hard to master and i certainly have not 

yes, i can ‘pass’ in photos that i 1) take myself and 2) choose to post on here, as i only generally post pictures i like of myself that make me feel good about myself, so of course online that’s all you’d see

but passing is more than your looks under a certain angle, unfortunately 

this includes but is not limited to; how you walk (how you hold yourself up, how you maneuver yourself, what kind of presence you give off), how you speak (in vocabulary, mannerisms, pitch, tone), your size, how you sit, how you stand, how you react, how you interact, how certain facial features appear, many of these things i cannot change or change effectively

passing takes a large amount of focus and concentration and energy (both emotionally and physically) and even then, if you don’t fit certain ideas that cis people have in their heads, you’re likely to still be misgendered or worse which is already taxing enough 

it’s also very expensive - hormones? surgeries? packers? binders? if you’re disabled? if you’re not thin? if you’re poor? 

it’s not as simple as looking a certain way in pictures! 

Why I Stopped Posting Pictures of my Top Surgery Results

On December 14th 2015, after many years of waiting, I had top surgery. Like many people in the years leading up to my surgery I scoured the internet for photos for people who had had surgery with my surgeon. Being in Canada and mostly only operating in one province I wasn’t surprised to not find a whole lot. 

I also looked for results from other people of colour, other South Asian people, and people with body types similar to mine. Unfortunately, I didn’t find much. I found that the spaces dedicated to surgery results weremainly dominated by white, slim, and muscular folks. 

I was frustrated because I knew that that my results would look drastically different than theirs. Despite my best efforts I found myself feeling frustrated with other POC. I knew that slim, muscular white people would be celebrated and get more traction than POC but there was so little out there. I didn’t need the posts or Youtube videos to be popular I just needed them to exist. I thought I understood why those results weren’t as out there, and partially I did, but now I really get it. 

When I first saw my post-op chest eight days after surgery I was elated. My partner took a couple pictures of that moment and I happily posted them on the internet (even if I felt a little self-conscious). In the days and weeks following my reveal I kept posting updated pictures though I was more and more hesitant to do so each time. Every time I did I got negative feedback about my results, weight,and body shape; reblogs, messages from anonymous people on Tumblr, and comments on Facebook posts (almost exclusively from other trans folks) left me feeling shitty about my body and results. 

Before those comments I felt good about my results and while I had issues with my hips and stomach and lack of muscles I was working to feel better about myself and my body.  So I stopped posting about my results. When one type of body is the only type celebrated in a community anyone who looks different is going to feel excluded and self-conscious - when they are then met with negative comments it’s no wonder they stop posting. It’s not a coincidence that it is hard to find top surgery results from non-thin, muscular, white people.


Does posting these pictures mean that I am over my body image problems: hell no. In fact, I have been feeling pretty self-conscious for the last little while (thanks grad school for meaning I’m too busy and poor to work out or always eat right) but I want to share my results. While I know that I’m not plus sized and don’t really consider myself fat (and benefit in society because of that) I’m also don’t super thin or cut. I want other people who look like me to know that there are other people like them in this community. I want to fight the dominance of white people in these spaces by being present. 

I know that I’m opening myself up to those comments again but I hope that people reading this will realize this it is not okay to make negative comments about others people bodies - even when those people aren’t super thin, muscular and white. 

Okay so there’s a lot of talk about how BPD tumblr encourages abusive behaviour and stuff so I thought I’d say share my thoughts.

  • Most of the posts used as examples are about splitting.
  • Splitting is NOT inherently abusive.
  • Splitting is something that many borderlines struggle with, and it’s not their fault.
  • Splitting on someone does not automatically mean you are being abusive. How you FEEL is not abusive. How you ACT is.
  • You are NOT a bad person for splitting.

However,

  • You should think critically about how you act and what you post - there ARE some people who joke about behaviours that are abusive.
  • Abusive behaviours I’ve seen joked about include: intentionally hurting someone when you split on them, punishing people when they upset you.
  • Other unhealthy things include being unwilling to work on your disorder and being unwilling to acknowledge that some of your past or current behaviours are toxic.

But also,

  • You shouldn’t feel bad for making jokes about your negative symptoms as long as they are not encouraging anything unhealthy.
  • For many people, including myself, BPD tumblr is the only community where it is safe to talk openly about the symptoms of this disorder, and have other people understand you.

It really upsets me to see people painting all of us with the same brush, especially considering that BPD can display itself in a number of different ways. Not to mention that most of us are actively seeking help (therapy, meds, etc.)

Alright, so. Thanks to the ones who said they didn’t want me to go but modding here’s become more stressful than fun for me. When going in I thought it was pretty clear that each mod would deal with their own blunders, but apparently we all have extremely different levels of awareness and it’s not happening. I’m also the only one using the warning list I took days to gather, which makes it not very useful. And I can’t be here all the time and it’s stressful to wake up or come home home to several angry messages about posts that I had no idea existed but that I now have to apologize for. Not to say that you guys are wrong for being angry—it’s just that considering the nature of some of those posts I just feel very uncomfortable having them associated with me in any way or apologizing for them when I would’ve never made them myself in the first place. 

However, I don’t want to have to watch over everything here like a hawk, because it’s not my job, and I’m not the boss of the other mods (I don’t want to be either). My ethics aren’t the same as theirs and that’s fine but it’s making being here a little toxic for me. So I’m gonna leave the blog, and if you want to react to this I ask that you do it to me, personally and not harass the other mods or clutter the inbox with your commentary. First because obviously I won’t have access to the blog’s inbox anymore and won’t be able to answer anyway, second because it’s my decision and they have no responsibility in it, nor should they have to face any negativity or intrusive questions about it. Thank you.

Overall it’s still been a lot of fun to be a mod here, and if EJ and Zoë decide to replace me I hope they find someone a lot better than me. Have a good day!

guys…….. hear me out: orisa/athena

  • athena introduces herself to orisa and efi and orisa’s just like “oh no??? they have an ai with a cute voice???”
  • athena doesn’t immediately know why she’s so drawn to this new hero, but finds herself keeping a closer eye on orisa more than the others. she can’t work out why.
  • efi uploads orisa’s schematics for medical purposes in case she gets damaged and efi isn’t around to fix it and athena nearly bluescreens.
  • funnily enough sombra is the one who figures it out. “athena, amiga, why do you have so many notes on orisa? she hasn’t even worked with overwatch that long.” “noNE OF YOUR BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY SERVERS” “…………………..holy fucking shit you LIKE her!” “she is an effective member of the team.” “no, you - listen, do yourself a favour, i’m uploading some like it bot to your main server, go watch it when you have a minute, it’ll all make sense then. promise.”
  • their first date is orisa sitting on the roof of watchpoint gibraltar looking out at the sea with one of athena’s portable terminals. they can’t hold hands but orisa can carry the terminal and that’s close enough.
  • efi and winston work out what’s going on pretty much immediately. they’re surprised but they think it’s cute.
  • everyone else finds out when orisa returns to a watchpoint and athena says “welcome home, dear” without thinking. everyone is torn between “wait, WHAT?!” and “holy shit that’s adorable” except for tracer who is like “I FUCKING CALLED IT, ATHENA’S GAY, EMILY OWES ME A TENNER!”
  • orisa keeps putting cute stickers and things on athena’s servers and terminals. it makes winston’s eye twitch but it’s too cute to even consider stopping.
  • late-night chats about justice and protecting the innocent while orisa’s charging.
  • orisa gets damaged in a fight and athena gets really upset. sombra tries to get the other members of talon to not target orisa so much. “she’s a giant defence omnic, we need to take her down” “WHY DO YOU HATE TRUE LOVE, GABE??” “mon dieu, sombra…”
#YoiPositivityMovement

I know I didn’t say much when answering all of your asks (if i said anything at all), but I want to sincerely thank all of you for all of the support and love you’ve shown me recently.

Please give love to the other blogs experiencing hate right now, I’m not the only one. 

I also want to mention that this hate won’t change the way I run dandybek. This will still be a roleplay blog. 

I’m having a hard time addressing this. 

Scrolling through my dash and seeing your support has really helped me. I can’t thank all of you enough for the kind messages, asks, and posts. 

It still feels very strange to me. I have had very severe problems with anxiety and self harm in the past, and I’m not the only one. Sending people hate, people with thoughts, people with feelings, is monstrous. It makes you hate yourself, even though you did nothing wrong. 

For those who have sent me hate, I want you to know exactly how much you hurt me. I can’t look at the word ‘deserved’ anymore without panicking and thinking about your awful words. I was too scared to even open my ask box. I was scared to check my messages. I was scared to be on tumblr, which is a read shame considering that this is a ‘safe’ place for many. I couldn’t sleep last night. I keep thinking about what someone might have done to you (them) that would trigger you (them) to lash out at me. 

What can you do to help? 

I want to use this as an opportunity to spread some positivity in the fandom. 

If you’re reading this, go send 5 different blogs some love in their inbox. (Not me.) It can be anon or not, but try your best to make someone’s day. 

Make a post telling a blog how much you appreciate their work. Gift someone writing, or artwork. Make someone feel special. 

Tag everything as #YoiPositivityMovement , especially in the asks. I want to see how much love we can spread. 

Example: anonymous asked: you’re gr8 #yoipositivitymovement

Reblog this. Spread the word. Spread positivity. 

xoxo, dandybek

About Seddm

since people are so goddamn dense I’m gonna compile all the shit he’s said and done (Including gross commentary from his disgusting followers) and how so much of his behavior can be taken as intentionally pedophilic.

Links and Screenshots are provided so if you’re just gonna bombarded me with obvious defense like “it’s fictional!” then you already missed the point.

Here is why Seddm can be considered dangerous to children in a fandom that praises him for the content he posts while letting his shit fly, basically following him blindly.

#NSFW and #CSA ahead; also another thing about Areablog (Where Seddm and other adult fans get their child porn from)

Keep reading

It’s pretty scary and shitty that literally anyone can just make a post about someone and people will just take it too the bank and consider the person guilty until proven otherwise. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if someone on here ends up taking a bunch of dumb shit I’ve said out of context and just make me look like the biggest tool and people will just take it and run. 

2

Respectful and cool Lena/Katie/Supercorp blogs

Hi dear Anon, sorry it took me a while to answer, and I applaud you for wanting to stay out of the toxic side of the fandom! Now, first of all you definitely have to follow @fy-katiemcgrath for anything Katie McGrath related. And @fylenaluthor for anything Lena related.

My personal favorites: (There are more but for the moment I’ll just post these)  @a-jedi-in-purgatory,  @aledu89 ,  @protectlenaluthor ,  @lena-lipbite-luthor,  @supersunnydanvers,  @51shadesofburgundy, @tantoun, @pendragong, @sango-blep 

More cool blogs: @misslane1981, @kara-danvers-lena-luthor, @supercorpppp, @supercorptrashed, @caitlinsnowqueen, @whosthatnerd  @xxcommonfangirlxx,      @name-h, @thecatsbian, @cyclone-rachel, @cophinescience, @missmisanthropic

If you consider yourself a respectful Supercorp shipper please let us know. Let’s make this fandom a better one! (If I tagged you and for some reason you want your url removed from this list, please let me know and I’ll remove you)

Note: The last couple of blogs listed here might post critiques about the Karamel development every once in a while but they’d never post (not that I’ve seen) offensive things towards the Karamel/Mon-El fandom, it’s more like constructive comments. They’re very respectful. They’re cool. 

Valentine

Series: Kobayashi-san Chi no Maid Dragon

Words: 1,570

A/N: I have no excuse. I’m gay dragon trash and I didn’t write anything for any fandom for Valentine’s Day specifically this year, so I whipped this up this morning (in addition to another fic which I shall post later).

Blame my followers. They only encouraged me to write for these two gay idiots and their dragon daughter and now I’m hooked and will probably write more…

——-

Valentine


When Kobayashi had left the apartment that morning, she’d sent out a silent prayer to the universe itself that nothing too crazy would happen today.

She found herself making that wish just about every day now, but it wasn’t always granted, considering the company she was keeping back at home.

She merely went to work as usual and kept her fingers crossed. She hadn’t even remembered about Valentine’s Day until she’d gotten into the office and heard most of her male co-workers mumbling about how they still needed to buy last-minute gifts for their wives or girlfriends.

Oh, Kobayashi thinks briefly. I guess today is that holiday… I doubt Tohru knows about it. It might be best if it stays that way.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You know of all the "Lena is a lesbian" posts I've ever seen, not once are her hands mentioned. She's a very fashion forward character and always has her make up done (those red lips are to die for!!!) but her fingernails are never polished nor does she have overly long fingernails. Call me old fashioned but isn't one of the biggest tells in lesbian culture the unmanicured short fingernails?? Just something I think about lol

Oh bless you my love! Fam, can we all drop everything and take a moment to appreciate Lena’s beautiful gay hands!?

Please refer to this post for the source and further thirsty appreciation.

#Amen

anonymous asked:

That post about Erika Moen made me feel sick and I gotta express it to someone cause ugh. I love Erika, she taught me so much about sexual expression, and those comics were just used out of context. Like I feel like I can't openly express this off anon cause im cis and straight and maybe my opinion doesn't really matter but Erika seems to be super sex positive and very trans inclusionary. A lot of the stuff they used was just taken out of context and warped...

anon since you’re cis and straight i don’t think you understand why she’s offensive to other people.

if this comic doesn’t scream yikes then u gotta do some rethinking. erika is fetishsizing how people transition, she doesn’t even see transgender people as people and instead she objectifies them. literally right there in the comic, she doesn’t know how to respect someone’s gender.

and the “LUG” comic she made confuses me. “lesbian until graduation” is not a thing. it’s pretty dang homophobic considering how she thinks her liking girls was just a phase, yet she talks about how something she has in come with her boyfriend is her “love for pussy”. also biphobic too, just ignoring that fact that bisexuality is a thing. 

Just a little reminder for JayTim shippers:

● Jason and Tim aren’t related and even Tim stated that Bruce isn’t technically Jason’s dad anymore, as you can see here:

They weren’t raised together or stuff like that so there’s no reason why he should necessarily consider Jason as his brother (I’m not saying that It’s not ok or possible to see them as brothers, I’m just proving a point)

● They overcame their problems and even If the writers didn’t make a perfect job exploring this important aspect of their relationship, there are still some conversations to prove that:

(Oh Gosh I love this panel so much)

● Tim always cared about Jason:

(even in young justice)
● And he still cares (and considers him as his partner):

(”you’re not just the man under the Red Hood” is actually one of my favourite JayTim quotes ♥ Tim is so sweet)

● Jason eventually got psychologically better and started to care about Tim, to see him as a partner:

Just look at the pictures, the ship sails Itself:

● Aaaand It’s not pedophilia because: http://salt-sass-and-lyrium.tumblr.com/post/146304003444/superboyvapes-despite-you-wanting-to-make-me (Sorry I always quote you, I just love your post lol)

SO our ship is perfectly normal and you’re perfectly normal, bye.

listen. the gang is horrible people. horrible to each other, horrible to others. horrible. but they literally love each other so much, and it kills me.
they’re all obviously emotionally wrecked, and their dynamic is like a microcosm of abusive behavior because of all the emotional damage and defense systems they have up. but at the end of the day, they love each other so much.

like in the season eleven finale, they were all literally going to just. die together. that’s probably the biggest indication of their love for each other, and reinforces the concept that the gang is just black or white with their mindset.

for example, most of the structure in politically charged episodes is that one member brings up a hot topic, while the other four split into pairs on the extreme sides of said opinion. and by the end of the episode, both views are inconclusive, pushing their black or white minds into a grey area they they’ll inevitably just throw away.

so, that’s also how they show how much they care for each other. in huge displays of affection (the RPG, frank in the christmas episode, the gang’s relief over mac coming out) or barely there comments (dennis telling dee her hands are the right size, everyone lightly nudging charlie away from drinking paint or sniffing glue or his other destructive behaviors)

they also kinda just, throw those things away and go right back into their vicious rhetoric with each other, even tho deep down they do care about each other when they have a moment to consider it. and i don’t know where this post is supposed to end up. but despite being awful people, the gang loves each other and it makes me emotional

A/N: After 1x07 I typed out a quick little text post (which you can read here) and it inspired me to make it a full-fledged fic about Jughead moving in with Fred & Archie. Hopefully this will help pass a little time until the new episode. Almost 5k words of Bughead fluff. Enjoy!

just looking for something (something like home)

He moves in with the Andrews men early on a Saturday morning.

Not that he could really call it moving in considering his entire life fits into a backpack but at least he’s got a room to call his own.

The basement, to be exact.

Fred sets up a cot in the corner, near boxes of Christmas decorations (he’s pretty sure those haven’t been touched since Archie’s mom left) and old rusty tools and lawn equipment. He sets his backpack on a rickety tool bench but doesn’t move to unpack.

“Sorry it’s so cold down here,” Fred is saying as he throws a fitted flannel sheet over the cot’s mattress. “We’ll get you a space heater or something before winter comes.”

“Alright,” Jughead says although he’s not really paying attention. It’s not that he’s not grateful for Fred’s generosity, he is but he can’t help but think about his dad at home alone. Probably drunk, even though he promised to get his act together.

Just a month, maybe two.

Not a chance in hell.

Jughead is glad Archie is at football practice because there’s a question on the tip of his tongue that he’s a little embarrassed to ask.

“Just curious,” he starts but his voice shakes a little and his hands are sweating. He runs them down the front of his pants and clears his throat. “Is there a uh… um…a girl policy?”

Judging from Fred’s expression he’s just as surprised Jughead asked as he is.

“A girl policy,” Fred repeats. “Well, Archie has girls over but they usually keep the door open. And no sleepovers.”

Jughead laughs and holds up his hands. “Yeah, of course. That’s not really what I was talking about. More just…in general.”

Fred gives him a knowing smile and it makes him want to melt into the hard concrete floor under his feet.

“Betty is more than welcome in this house whenever she wants. She always has been and that won’t change just because you’re dating.”

Dating.

What a foreign concept. It’s something he’s still getting used to, if he’s being honest. He’s never had a real girlfriend before and he’s not even sure he knows how to be a boyfriend.

Then again, Betty kissed him after he walked her home so he’s hoping that means he’s doing alright so far.

“Great,” he says a little too enthusiastically and he blushes a little when Fred grins. “Thanks, I mean. Betty is…”

“A great girl,” Fred finishes and Jughead nods. “You’re a lucky guy, Jug.”

He just laughs and shakes his head because that is a statement that is so unfairly untrue that if he didn’t laugh about it he’d probably cry.

Keep reading

I promised you guys a thing, so here you go! I hope you like it. I maybe stayed up all night fiddling with it, oops

I have really felt pretty bad about the fact that my re-introduction to the community was a self-indulgent sad post, so I’m trying to make up for it with as much positivity as I can. The quote is from Mark’s “We Are Youtube” video a few years back. It’s always stuck with me, but I think I forgot it for a little while there. 

Anyway, it’s no masterpiece, I know, but I worked hard on it and I’m quite pleased with the results. It’s really good, considering my usual stuff, and I have to learn to be okay with that for now. Besides, the point isn’t the art- the point is spreading positivity, and I hope I can fulfill that role better than I have been. I dropped the ball for a bit, but I promise I’ll do my best to make you all proud from now on.

@markiplier thank you again. Just that small comment made a world of difference and brought things back into perspective. I needed that.

I’ll quit babbling now, since I have to get back to my work, but I love you all and hope you have a wonderful day. As always, my ask box is open if you need me. Stay lovely, dears.

(P.S. Sorry, original anon who wasn’t too happy to see my stuff in the tags. You’re just going to have to put up with me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

anonymous asked:

I don't normally like scifi but I'm obsessed with these and I can't figure out why

I mean, sometimes that just happens. I generally don’t like non-fantasy/scifi/adventure stories, especially those that focus on romance, but I somehow devoured Nowhere But Here (by Katie McGarry) which is about teenage love and family drama and a motorcycle gang and I don’t even know why I enjoyed it, but I did.

But if you’re trying to figure out why you’re enjoying these, some possibilities are:

1. Good, fun writing. Tumblr is filled with talented and creative people whose work sometimes just appears in front of you, unlike books where you have to search them out, or at least read a bit more to get into them.

2. Length and setting. Tumblr posts are short[ish] and quick compared to most forms of entertainment, and often mixed in with posts on completely different topics. You don’t have to settle in and decide, “I am going to read/watch this thing which I may or may not like.”

3. Different sci-fi topics than you’re used to finding. If you’re used to finding sci-fi stories about established alien civilizations and intergalactic currency transactions and basically things that require a lot of attention to keep straight, it only takes one or two tries getting through something like that to decide to stay away from anything remotely similar. (…She says from experience.) They’re not bad, but not your cup of tea, perhaps.

But the things I’m finding and reblogging here tend to fall into a couple categories that I had not seen in published fiction before:

Like, Space Australians/Space Orcs/Humans Are From a Death World, stories that portray humans as tough and durable compared to aliens. Popular posts like this include the invading-aliens-foiled-by-animals megapost by @giraffepoliceforce, humans-come-from-a-death-world-and-aliens-think-we’re-crazy post started by @arcticfoxbear, the humans-are-terrifying post by @bogleech, posts following @timemachineyeah‘s post about “what if humans were considered really cute?” and a bunch of others.

Then there are the posts that focus on things humans do that are unusual to aliens. Some of these are written straight, like the short stories by @authorbettyadams and the Gentleman of Fortune humans-as-companions stories by @ts-porter​, while others take a more humorous view like the Star Trek-based humans-are-crazy-like-Doc-Brown and humans-are-considered-freaky-nihilists posts by @prokopetz​, among others.

Whatever you figure out, I hope you find more to enjoy. And if you find someone whose writing you like, let them know! (And if you find books about the above, let me know, I’m trying to make a list.)

Yo, if you really want to unfollow me because I advocate for punching people who see other races as lesser or not even human you go on ahead, but I stand by what I said. White supracy shouldn’t be considered a political stance. This is the last post I’ll make talking about this. Any asks sent to me about this will be deleted because I don’t want to let this drag on forever.