conservative quotes

  • MC: Take me to art museums and make out with me.
  • 707: But they said to not touch the masterpieces.
  • MC: Did you just-
  • 707: But you know something?
  • MC: What?
  • 707: Somebody's gotta pin the artwork to the wall.
  • MC: *turning red*
I think Trump got in because of eight years of Obama and progressive left, and I think they got in because of eight years of Bush and Cheney, and I think they got in because of eight years of Clinton, and I think he got in because of eight years of Clinton and Bush. It goes way conservative and then it goes way fucking liberal. My problem with both sides is the way they ram their ideologies down your fucking throat. If you have a difference of opinion on the right, usually, it means you’re against America, you don’t support the troops, and you’re a socialist. On the left, if you don’t agree with them you’re a caveman, you’re a sexist, you’re a racist, any of those fucking things. But both sides equally try to get you to lose your job and destroy your ability to earn a living because of your beliefs.
—  Bill Burr

I distrust the extremes. Scratch a conservative and you find someone who prefers the past over any future. Scratch a liberal and find a closet aristocrat. It’s true! Liberal governments always develop into aristocracies. The bureaucracies betray the true intent of people who form such governments. Right from the first the little people who formed the governments which promised to equalize the social burdens found themselves suddenly in the hands of bureaucratic aristocracies. Of course, all bureaucracies follow this pattern, but what a hypocrisy to find this even under a communized banner.

Frank Herbert, God Emperor of Dune

Happy birthday to my #1 man... John Muir

Here is a dump of my favorite Muir quotes to commemorate this day:

“This is one of the still, hushed ripe days when we might heat the beating of nature’s heart”

“Of all the paths you walk in life, make sure a few of them are dirt”

“The world is big, and I want to get a good look at it before it gets dark”

“You may be a little cold some nights, on mountain tops about timberline, but you will see the stars, and by and by you can sleep enough in your town bed, or at least in your grave. Keep awake while you can in mountain mansions so rare”

“I’d rather be in the mountains thinking of God, than in church thinking about the mountains”

“Nature is always lovely, invincible, glad, whatever is done and suffered by her creatures, all scars she heals, whether in rocks or water or sky or hearts”

“Few places in this world are more dangerous than home. Fear not, therefore, to try the mountain passes. They will kill care, save you from deadly apathy, set you free, and call forth every faculty into vigorous, enthusiastic action”

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storm’s their energy, care will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn”

“The sun shines not on us, but in us”

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees”

“I am losing the precious days. I am degenerating into a machine for making money. I am learning nothing in this trivial world of men. I must break away and get out into the mountains to learn the news”

“Keep close to nature’s heart…. and break clear away once in a while, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean”

“As long as I live, I’ll hear waterfalls and birds and winds sing. I’ll interpret the rocks, learn the language of flood, storm, and the avalanche. I’ll acquaint myself with the glaciers and wild gardens, and get as near the heart of the world as I can.”

“Who wouldn’t want to be a mountaineer! Up here all the world’s prizes seem nothing”

On Glacier National Park: “Give at least a month to this precious reserve. The time will not be taken from the sum of your life. Instead of shortening, it will indefinitely lengthen it and make you truly immortal. Nevermore will time seem short or long, and cares will never again fall heavily on you, but gently and kindly as gifts from Heaven”

On Yellowstone National Park: “…healing, reviving, exhilarating, kept pure by frost and fire, while the scenery is wild enough to awaken the dead”

“The question comes up ‘What are rattlesnakes good for?’ As if nothing that does not obviously make for the benefit of man had any right to exist: as if our ways were God’s ways… Anyway they are all, head and tail, good for themselves, and we need not begrudge them their share of life”

After trying to describe Yosemite: “I can write only to incite good wanderers to come to the feast”

“Even the blind must enjoy these woods, drinking their fragrance, listening to the music of the woods in their groves, and fingering the flowers and plumes and cones in their richly furrowed boles” (I love this because I always forget to use my other senses outside)

Last but not least (for now…), John Muir on ants: “As soon as a vulnerable spot is discovered on man or beast, they stand on their heads and sink their jaws, and though torn limn from limb, they will yet hold on and die biting deeper. When I contemplate this fierce creature so widely distributed and strongly intrenched, I see that much remains to be done ere the world is brought under the rule of universal love and peace”

You want a physicist to speak at your funeral.
You want the physicist to talk to your family about the conservation of energy, so they will understand that your energy has not died. You want the physicist to remind your sobbing mother about the first law of thermodynamics; that no energy gets created in the universe, and that none dies.
You want your mother to know that all your energy, every vibration, every Btu of heat, every wave of every particle that was her beloved child remains with her in this world. You want the physicist to tell your weeping father that amid energies of the cosmos, you gave as good as you got.
And at one point you’d hope the physicist would step down from the pulpit and walk to your brokenhearted spouse there in the pew and tell him that all the photons that ever bounced off your face, all the particles whose paths were interrupted by your smile, by the touch of your hair, hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children, their ways forever changed by you. And as your widow rocks in the arms of a loving family, may the physicist let her know that all the photons that bounced from you were gathered in the particle detectors that are her eyes, that those photons created within her constellations of electromagnetically charged neutrons whose energy will go on forever.
You can hope your family will examine the evidence and satisfy themselves that the science is sound and that they’ll be comforted to know your energy’s still around.
According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you’re just less orderly.
—  Aaron Freeman

I swear, reactionaries are just constantly throwing shit at walls and hoping some of it sticks.

This just in: republicans quote-mine Malcolm X, a militant black-liberationist anti-capitalist, to make it appear as though he would’ve sided with their imperialist asses. This is so surreal. Malcolm X was vocal in his hatred for both wings of the white supremacist ruling class, and it’s fucking disgusting that conservatives are trying to cash in on something specific he said about democrats in service of a reactionary agenda. I guess they ran out of palatable quotes from MLK to cherry-pick and so they decided to give Malcolm X a try.

I pull out this quote often, and it never stops being relevant:

“During the lifetime of great revolutionaries, the oppressing classes constantly hounded them, received their theories with the most savage malice, the most furious hatred and the most unscrupulous campaigns of lies and slander. After their death, attempts are made to convert them into harmless icons, to canonize them, so to say, and to hallow their names to a certain extent for the ‘consolation’ of the oppressed classes and with the object of duping the latter, while at the same time robbing the revolutionary theory of its substance, blunting its revolutionary edge and vulgarizing it.” -Lenin

You know you are not living in a country built on equality when people have had to fight tooth and nail for the very privileges the founders promised to be freely given in the framework of the country.
—  Why “all men are created equal” was bullshit from the get-go
Fertilization. But even after the egg is fertilized, it’s still six or seven days before it reaches the uterus, and pregnancy begins. And not every egg makes it that far. Eighty percent of a woman’s fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet, they are fertilized eggs, so basically what these anti-abortion people are telling us is that any woman who has had more than one period is a serial killer. Consistency.
—  George Carlin