Whiteness really is construed as an epistemologically neutral starting point, and you see this in how no one approaches white women or white lgbt people and makes assumptions about the misogyny/homophobia of their families or cultural communities or friends. Again, white women/white lgbt people are given the room to have complex and nuanced relationships with the people in their lives, who ostensibly aren’t politically radical or perfect or whatever. Yet every fucking time a woman of color or lgbt person of color talks about the people in their lives who won’t have perfect or even good opinions about everything, people make assumptions about their relationships, their comfort levels, their boundaries, their cultures, and their communities. 

No one ever asks white women/white lgbt people what it’s like being from “traditional” or “conservative” families/communities, no one ever treats white women/lgbt people as victims in need of saving from their “oppressive” families and communities, and no one ever asks them how they can maintain relationships with misogynistic/homophobic friends or family members or community members. On the other hand, women of color & lgbt people of color are inundated with performative and callous questions about the people in our lives and how “feminist” or “open” or “accepting” or “progressive” they are and what our “plans” are for coming out or “getting our parents to tolerate us”. Those questions hardly ever come from a place of empathy or sincerity, but always from a place of malicious curiosity and a gleeful desire to seem culturally superior. They come from a position of pity and dehumanization. 

And if you as a woman of color/lgbt person of color admit that not everyone in your family/community is “accepting” or “progressive” (whatever the implications of those words are), suddenly your own political priorities are called into question. Hell, even your experiences and personhood as a woman or lgbt person are invalidated and negated because you had the audacity to Not denounce and banish every person in your life who hasn’t read the sexy feminist and queer theorists and who doesn’t know the difference between lgbt sub identities/cultures. 

It’s not as if white women/white lgbt people don’t struggle with misogyny or homophobia/transphobia stemming from their families and cultural/religious communities. They constantly do. But because the epistemological center delineates whiteness and European ethnic identities as “objective” and “apolitical”, white women/lgbt people don’t have to deal with an added burden of needing to defend their culture or peoples from paternalistic assumptions. Implausible expectations of radicalism and ideological purity are forced upon women of color and lgbt people of color, who themselves are depicted as having some “extra” amount of internalized misogyny or homophobia/transphobia by virtue of being nonwhite (especially if they’re first generation immigrants). But white women and white lgbt people not only get to “fuck up” and grow from their mistakes within feminist & lgbt circles, but they are also allowed to manifest the complexities of human nature and human relationships without being ceaselessly interrogated on the private details of their lives. Not only that, but when their previously misogynistic and homophobic/transphobic friends or family members become more educated and more “accepting”, those moments aren’t treated as Grand Scenarios of Enlightenment (the way the “noble savage” trope is used against people of color) but at the same time, those white people are then added to the celebratory pool of “whiteness as a cultural/racial phenomenon is the paradigm of progressive movements and collective liberation” amongst feminist/lgbt circles. And even then, a white woman/white lgbt person existing is somehow seen as “innately radical” yet also mundane and human, whereas a woman of color/lgbt person of color existing is simultaneously saddening, evoking feelings of being humbled, and also the bravest act of resistance (especially when that woman of color/lgbt person of color “tells off” their cultural/religious communities, and that act of resistance is filtered for white consumption). 

Exclusionists are the conservatives of the LGBT+ community

Think about it. They’re trying to keep things the same and kick out people who are part of marginalized groups that they don’t like because they see them as dangerous invaders.

anonymous asked:

I'm the typical "good daughter" who's been brought up in Europe and my parents expect me to get married with a brown man once my studies are over. But feel oppressed and want to be able to love whoever I fall for, even if he's white. The thing is brown people have preconceived ideas about white people and white people about brown people. My community is conservative. People will talk about me, say I put shame on my family (culture shock, dating, low tolerance of PDA). Family or freedom? Advice?

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longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac  asked:

I can’t help myself so I’m sending you yet another prompt: Dean lives with his brother Sam and his parents in a Christian conservative community . He wants to his last year of HS to go smoothly and the last thing he wants is to fall in love with a boy. Especially when the boy is his best friend Cas. After party he and Cas end up sleeping together but Cas distances himself from Dean and dates their friend Meg. I understand you’re busy but I don’t how long it take to complete this :)

Okay, I think this is actually gonna wind up as a multi-part story if anyone’s interested. (I’ve already got some thoughts on where i want this to go)

The first part has almost everything you wanted.

Word Count: 2212

WARNING: Vaguely Not Safe For Work (near the end)

And of course, there is angst.

Dean hated it here. The only thing that made it bearable was his best friend, Cas. Together they made plan after plan over the years, of just how to get out of there, refining it more and more the older they got.

Now they were in their senior year – almost old enough to strike out on their own legally, but neither Dean nor Cas held out much hope that they’d get out unscathed.

“Hair, Dean, hair!” Cas ranted one afternoon. He lay on his back with his feet propped against the wall of their old treehouse. It was really too small for them, but they squeezed in anyway, the only privacy they could find and trust these days. “How does hair lead to sin? So what if I want to grow it? Or…or…turn it blue? How does that lead me to hell? Is it really comparable to being a murderer? Seriously?”

Dean nodded absently. Cas was really preaching to the choir. Literally. Dean had been volunteered as a child to sing every Sunday in church. When he was small, he’d been proud to do it, happy that he could do something that made his mom so happy. Now Mary was gone, and no one would tell him what had happened to her and if he wanted to leave the church choir, he would risk the wrath of John Winchester falling upon his head.

It was better to let it go and not cause ripples or any type of suspicion to fall on him. Not when they were so close. Not when John already looked at him in disappointment, though for what, Dean had no idea (he suspected though, but he wouldn’t admit it to himself so he refused to think of it).

“Dad told Sammy not to associate with Max or Alicia yesterday.”

“You’re next door neighbors? Why not? They’re some of the nicest kids around!” Cas dropped his feet and twisted to sit upright, crossing his feet elegantly beneath him.

Dean tried not to watch, knowing he would only wind up staring at how fluidly his best friend moved. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach.

He couldn’t afford to let the butterflies have their way.

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whoisajew - Judaism
reddit: the front page of the internet

Check out this really neat flowchart that determines Jewishness!  Please note that there are some Orthodox Jews that recognize Conservative and Reform Conversion and many (if not most) Conservative communities recognize Reform Conversions as legal.

ik warriors amino has been so very yikes in the past, but today they finally made psa stating that first offense homophobic and transphobic comments will result in a strike, second offense will result in ban. shouldn’t be so monumental, but it is and i really hope this can be the first small step in making the place safe for lgbt people

unfortunately a lot of individuals are sayin some pretty gross stuff in the comments of the psa so i don’t recommend looking at that. but shout out to fenris, a leader, who’s been working really hard to defend this new rule and explain why it’s important

like nothing there is incredibly revolutionary, but it’s an important change to a very conservative community and a good start

Hi.. um.. i really need advise, im sorry haha. But i juat dont have anyone to talk to it about since we live in such a tightly conservative community filled with tightly conservative people. And…Im an 18 year old bisexual in a serious relationship with another girl.. and we havent came out yet if we did they’d most likely make sure we never see each other again…and my girlfriend is suggesting that we run away and just skip towm amd live together so we dont have to “hide” anymore but… im 18 and she is just turning 20 in January… and even though we’ve been together for six years now. (We got together when i was maybe just 12 and she was like 13) I dont know if its a good idea yet id love to do it… can you please help me sort out a decision?

Answer: Well, my best friend did that. She met a girl on Tumblr and ran away with her because the community we live in would never accept them. She was 22. Happy to tell you that they have been together for 5 years already. They got married exactly one year ago!! They are still happy and my friend said that leaving is the best decision she ever made.

anonymous asked:

re: q slur post. im glad you commented. because a lot of young lgbt people still get called that as a slur by homophobes, especially in more closed off conservative communities. they call it a slur because that's the way it was used historically and in their personal experiences, and they haven't had the time/opportunity to become comfortable reclaiming it the way some older people have.

Totally agree, though I don’t know if it’s just because they haven’t had the time or opportunity to reclaim it. Some people are never going to want to reclaim that word, and that’s fine and they shouldn’t feel pressured to

anonymous asked:

Honest to God if I'm being honest. White people are straight up awful. They don't care about black people and would rather get defensive than own up to the benefits their privilege grants them. I don't care how progressive or liberal they are. Or if they're a women or part of the LGBT community. They are the face of it all and refuse to share. I live in a conservative white community and have to see their insensitivity everyday and I'm done. They're awful.

Girl, i feel you to be honest. A lot of them are sooo ignorant it’s alarming and frustrating.

Seeing a leftist complaining about “regressive leftist ideology” is infuriating when you live in a dangerous, deeply conservative community. That liberal community you hate so much sounds nice. Trade ya.

On Charlotte Lucas

You guys, I grew up in a really conservative community and I have friends who pulled a Charlotte Lucas and married dudes that they knew were idiots. My community put so much pressure on getting married that they just married whatever dumbass asked them. I know the stakes aren’t quite the same now as they were in Jane Austen’s time, but just in case you ever feel like Jane Austen isn’t relevant this type of thing is still going on all the time. 

average-taurus  asked:

Sybill, Luna! 💕

When I was at my uncle’s house for holidays, basically the whole trip was one huge “I’ve done this already” it was amazingly uncomfortable!

Basically everything I do is seen as weird, I live in a pretty small and conservative community. Everything from knowing Astrology, to collecting jars, to owning over fifteen coats, is weird to them!!

Voting:) green:) isn’t:) a:) wasted:) vote:) you:) assholes:) we:) have :)more :)voters than:) UKIP:)

They are pro gay, pro choice, pro environmental, anti Donald Trump, anti fascism and pro animal rights I genuinely don’t understand why people say that it’s a ‘wasted vote ‘ because the more of us there are the more mps locally win to make decisions in parliament

Still in the closet

I wasn’t able to come out of the closet to my Mom on Saturday like I planned. I am so worried about her reaction. What if she hates me? What if she disowns me? I just can’t bear the thought of either of those things happening. My Mom and I are very close and we tell each other almost everything. I don’t want to lose that relationship with her. Plus my Mom does tend to overreact to things. I’m worried she’ll blab my news to everyone and then I’ll be cast out and all alone. Even though I haven’t been cast out I do feel alone right now. I’m the only one I know of in my community who is gay. If there is anyone in my community who is LGBT+ at all they are keeping it a secret because they know as well as I how much of a conservative community this is. Also, news travels like wildfire around here you tell one person something and by the next day, everyone in the community knows about it. There are no LGBT+ groups around here where I live. All the Churches here are very conservative. I hate living here and as soon as I can I’m living elsewhere.