conscious sleep

Tales from the Special Branch
Seven-Four Alpha
Murder Board

This has been a labor of love for a series I hold very dear to me. We can all attest to how amazing @femmequixotic is at building an incredible world and giving us an amazing crime fighting/case solving story with a lot of heart and soul. 

This series has a lot to take in, especially when looking at the case Seven-Four Alpha is trying to solve. As a result, I took it upon myself to create this murder board of sorts in order to keep track of pertinent characters and how they factor into this world. This has been updated to include everything from the first 3 parts of the series (Can’t Get You Out Of My Head, Lost In Your Arms, and These Secrets In Me) and I’ll continue to update it as we progress. 

It may not answer all the questions we have, but it may keep things straight moving forward. At the very least, it has opened up my eyes to characters I hadn’t thought as important players to keep my eye on. As you can tell, at the center of this chart is Althea Whitaker. Multiple times I tried to have Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter at the center, but the more I followed the connection between all groups, the more Althea emerged as a character that pretty much has ties to everyone. Yaxley’s are ones to keep an out for. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and that it’s useful. There are some conclusions I drew on my own, please feel free to ignore if you do not agree. More than anything, this is how I am seeing the story at the moment. If you have any questions, let me know. Please pay attention to the key at the bottom, to help you understand the diagram. All mistakes are my own (I tried my best with the spelling, but I am sure I messed up a name here or there). I’ll leave you with questions I am looking to have answered as the updates on Dare To Think, continue.


  1. At one point Seven-Four Alpha acquired the Resurrection Stone, then Wrightson and his team took it, what happened to it and how will it come back? What has it been used for?
  2. Will we meet Blaises’ dad and will he be pertinent to the story?
  3. Soul Grass? What’s happening there again…Dementors? Azkaban?
  4. Will Bellatrix make a comeback?
Past paramore songs referenced in No Friend

1)Let the flames begin: this is how we’ll stand when they burn our houses down.

No friend: another misspelled band burning their own houses down.

2) Future: lasts 7:52

No friend: another song that runs too long

3) Misguided ghosts: We are just misguided ghosts travelling endlessly

No friend: God knows no one needs more misguided ghosts

4) Riot album in general but also fast in my car: we have out riot gear on but we just want to have fun

No friend: A nickle in our basket and we’ll do our riot! dance

5) Anklebiters: you know anklebiters ate up your personality

No friend: in scores of catatonic smile covered anklebiten ships

6) when it rains: you made yourself a bed at the bottom of the blackest hole

No friend: A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I’ve made

7) That’s what you get: that’s what you get when you let your heart win

No friend: and you’ll say that’s what i get when i let ambition win

8) For a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic: I’m not so naive my sorry eyes can see

No friend: in the naive expectation in your eyes

9) Tell me it’s okay: now when the sun is out I’m not afraid to feel it shine on me

No friend: before the dreaded sun appears

No Friend lyrics

Another brick red room

Another black-top town

Another misspelled band burning their own houses down

Another pinebox tune to fill the cemetery day

Another stay, a touch of orange over purgatory grey

Another thorny field to scatter seed

Another song that runs too long

God knows no one needs more misguided ghosts,

More transparent hands to drop a nickel in our basket

And we’ll do our riot! dance

Beneath another burning sky, behind our painted lips in

Behind our painted lips in scares of catatonic smile covered ankle-bitten ships

So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea 

As protection from the paper thin perfection you project on me

When this repetition ends behind the window shades,

A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I made

That most unrestful bed, that most original of sins

And you’ll say that’s what I get when I let ambition win

Again I’d hate to let you down

So I’ll let the waters rise and drown my dull reflection in the naive expectation in your eyes

Back in a cast-bit part

Back when I felt most free

I had a butcher’s heart and no one thought they knew me

So before the regiment resumes

Before their dreaded sun appears

My driver’s waiting

So let’s make one point crystal clear:

You see a flood-lit form

I see a shirt design

I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes

Realizing what they see may not be even close to the image I see in myself

And I think I might actually be more afraid

I feel like they know the story

I saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat

Twelve years ago, I stood on the shore

Jumped in and grabbed the coat

And the river is rushing toward a waterfall

And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat

And swim back to land

I let go of the coat but the coat won’t let go of me

In any case please let me know if there’s more I can give you

If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful.

EDIT: cd booklet lyrics

First evidence for higher state of consciousness found

Scientific evidence of a ‘higher’ state of consciousness has been found in a study led by the University of Sussex.

(Image caption: Image created using brain imaging technology, showing changes in neural signal diversity while under the influence of LSD)

Neuroscientists observed a sustained increase in neural signal diversity – a measure of the complexity of brain activity - of people under the influence of psychedelic drugs, compared with when they were in a normal waking state.

The diversity of brain signals provides a mathematical index of the level of consciousness. For example, people who are awake have been shown to have more diverse neural activity using this scale than those who are asleep.

This, however, is the first study to show brain-signal diversity that is higher than baseline, that is higher than in someone who is simply ‘awake and aware’. Previous studies have tended to focus on lowered states of consciousness, such as sleep, anaesthesia, or the so-called ‘vegetative’ state.

The team say that more research is needed using more sophisticated and varied models to confirm the results but they are cautiously excited.

Professor Anil Seth, Co-Director of the Sackler Centre for Consciousness Science at the University of Sussex, said: “This finding shows that the brain-on-psychedelics behaves very differently from normal.  

“During the psychedelic state, the electrical activity of the brain is less predictable and less ‘integrated’ than during normal conscious wakefulness – as measured by ‘global signal diversity’.  

“Since this measure has already shown its value as a measure of ‘conscious level’, we can say that the psychedelic state appears as a higher ‘level’ of consciousness than normal – but only with respect to this specific mathematical measure.”

For the study, Michael Schartner, Dr Adam Barrett and Professor Seth of the Sackler Centre reanalysed data that had previously been collected by Imperial College London and the University of Cardiff in which healthy volunteers were given one of three drugs known to induce a psychedelic state: psilocybin, ketamine and LSD.

Using brain imaging technology, they measured the tiny magnetic fields produced in the brain and found that, across all three drugs, this measure of conscious level – the neural signal diversity – was reliably higher.

This does not mean that the psychedelic state is a ‘better’ or more desirable state of consciousness, the researchers stress; instead, it shows that the psychedelic brain state is distinctive and can be related to other global changes in conscious level (e.g. sleep, anaesthesia) by application of a simple mathematical measure of signal diversity. Dr Muthukumaraswamy who was involved in all three initial studies commented: “That similar changes in signal diversity were found for all three drugs, despite their quite different pharmacology, is both very striking and also reassuring that the results are robust and repeatable.”

The findings could help inform discussions gathering momentum about the carefully-controlled medical use of such drugs, for example in treating severe depression.

Dr Robin Cahart-Harris of Imperial College London said: “Rigorous research into psychedelics is gaining increasing attention, not least because of the therapeutic potential that these drugs may have when used sensibly and under medical supervision.  

“The present study’s findings help us understand what happens in people’s brains when they experience an expansion of their consciousness under psychedelics. People often say they experience insight under these drugs – and when this occurs in a therapeutic context, it can predict positive outcomes. The present findings may help us understand how this can happen.”

As well as helping to inform possible medical applications, the study adds to a growing scientific understanding of how conscious level (how conscious one is) and conscious content (what one is conscious of) are related to each other.

Professor Seth said: “We found correlations between the intensity of the psychedelic experience, as reported by volunteers, and changes in signal diversity. This suggests that our measure has close links not only to global brain changes induced by the drugs, but to those aspects of brain dynamics that underlie specific aspects of conscious experience.”  

The research team are now working hard to identify how specific changes in information flow in the brain underlie specific aspects of psychedelic experience, like hallucinations.

I was thinking the other day about Solas and what it might be like to be a Dreamer Mage - someone who is completely aware and cognizant during the dreams they have, exactly as if they were still awake - and it sounds like it would have advantages, but overall it sounds pretty miserable to me.

Like, you need to sleep and just not be conscious sometimes. Sleeping and dreaming gives you a reset where you have to forget and let go of everything you’re worrying about, at least while you’re asleep.

But if you’re an accomplished Dreamer, sleeping is a lot like being consciously awake, so you get this picture of Solas (who is weighed down with guilt and the weight of several worlds) going to sleep, dreaming… but not really. Because there’s never a moment where he’s not “awake” and aware of everything. If we accept these assumptions, Solas apparently goes from working and researching and studying during the day to searching and discussing heavy things with friends in the Fade at night. He’s not only overwhelmed with regret and horrifying responsibilities, there’s also no good way to turn the full comprehension of all of that off for even a little while.

apparently he doesn’t drink often, either (word of god from twitter a long time ago, iirc, is that he avoids tea, coffee and alcohol, anything that interferes with sleep) so there’s few times where he’d forget through drunkenness.

So, my understanding, as far as I can extrapolate, is that this tightly-coiled, guarded man has spent thousands of years sober, awake, fully aware. Goes to sleep, but still remains fully aware while sleeping. No breaks from himself, no real escape.

I feel like it could explain some things about the way the character is presented - he just seems tired to me. Master of dreams, but never well-rested. Suspicious, guarded, on-edge, no way to work unconsciously through his many traumas, too prepared for 1000 different eventualities, too much conscious time on his hands. I love this character.

anonymous asked:

Okay maybe some comfort and angst, where Peter has horrible nightmares about everything he's seen and the reader is his best friend who doesn't know he's Spiderman. So the reader has no idea why Peter keeps showing up her their window asking to sleep with them. I mean what would you do if your crush was asking to comfort them? Also just chubby! Reader would be fantastic and maybe a cute confession at the end?

You groaned as you opened your eyes to your dark bedroom, squinting at the ceiling in confusion as to why you were awake. A buzzing sound from your right caught your attention, and you rolled over to see your phone lighting up.

You smiled sleepily at the photo of you and your best friend which was displayed on the screen, before realising that if he was calling you late at night something was probably wrong.

“Pete?” you whispered, conscious of your sleeping family on the other side of the wall. “You okay?”

You heard him sniffling before he replied. “Can I come round?” he asked, his voice shaking with poorly hidden tears. “Please, I need to see you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at his words, and you reminded yourself that your best friend was clearly very upset, now was not the right time to be having a meltdown over your crush on him.

“Of course,” you told him. “You’ll have to come up the fire escape and through my window though, I can’t wake my family up.”

“Thank you,” he mumbled. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

You frowned slightly; that was a bold claim, considering it usually took half an hour to get to Peter’s apartment from yours. Shaking your head, you bit your lip nervously.

“Just be careful, okay? It’s still really dark outside,” you told him. You could hear him moving around in his room, presumably getting dressed in order to come to your apartment.

“I’ll stay on the phone, don’t worry about me,” he said quietly. An easy silence fell between the two of you, and you could hear a strange whistling sound.

“Are you on the tube or something?” you asked in confusion. “You got to the station quickly.”

“I’d already l-left when I called you,” he stuttered, and you bit your lip as his voice shook.

“I’ll see you soon,” you told him, trying to reassure him. “Do you want me to come meet-”

“No! No,” he repeated, in a calmer voice. “Just stay in your apartment, I’ll be there in a minute.”

You frowned slightly. “Pete, what’s going on?”

You heard a quiet rattling from outside your window, gradually getting louder.

“Hang on, I’m almost at yours.”

“So I hear,” you reply with a soft smile, hanging up and putting your phone back on your bedside table.

“Hey,” you said softly as Peter climbed in the window you’d left half-open. In the dim light from the moon, you could see that his hair was wind-swept and his clothes were ruffled.

Without a word, he crossed the room and took you in his arms. Caught by surprise, you hugged him back as he clung to you, hiding his face against your shoulder as sobs wracked his body.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I had a nightmare and you were hurt and I had to see you.”

“It’s okay,” you mumbled. “It’s okay, I’m here, I’m safe.”

You guided him over to your bed, lying down and letting him cuddle into your side. He nestled his head in the crook of your neck.

“Never leave me?” he whispered, lifting his head to look into your eyes with his own, which were still shiny with unshed tears. Your lips parted slightly, and you lowered your head to nuzzle his nose with yours.

“Never,” you promised, resting your forehead against his. You could feel his warm breath tickling your cheek, and your skin erupted in goosebumps where his hand rested on your hip.

Your breath caught in your throat as Peter closed the minuscule gap between the two of you and pressed his soft lips to yours. You moved your lips against his tentatively, not quite believing that you were actually kissing him.

“I love you,” he murmured as he pulled away just enough to be able to talk. “You’re my world, I love you.”

You kissed his forehead gently, your fingers threading through his hair soothingly.

“I love you too, Peter.”

Broken Promises

Peter Parker x Reader In which Peter ditches his girlfriend for his “Stark Internship” one too many times and she can’t take it anymore.


Word Count: 1012

Warnings: None, pretty angsty but not violent or anything.

Note: I’m actually pretty happy with this one. Still unsure about whether I want to make a happy ending part 2 or just leave it as an angsty stand-alone, though. Sorry for any grammatical errors that I make

Before the two of you had started dating, you and Peter were the best of friends. You had become friends quickly when he moved in with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben during second grade. He was the first person to sign your cast when you broke your arm in the fifth grade and you held his hand while he cried at his Uncle Ben’s funeral. The two of you were inseparable and only became closer when Peter admitted his feelings for you halfway through freshman year. 

The first six months or so of your relationship had been paradise, but ever since Peter accepted that Stark Internship, things had gotten sort of weird with him. He was hiding something from you. You just didn’t know what.

“Ned, I don’t care how strong the Hulk is! He isn’t winning in a fight against Thor, who is literally a god!” you said exasperatedly.

“A god? Are you talking about me again, darling?” Peter asked cheekily from behind you.

“Always, lover boy,” you replied sarcastically, “Hey, did you do last night’s chem homework? I didn’t get number 13.”

“Yeah, I’ll give it to you when we get to study, which is where we should be headed right now. We’ll see you later, Ned!” Peter grabbed your hand and guided you towards your next class as you waved a departure to Ned over your shoulder.

“Hey, so, what are you doing tonight, Pete? You should come over. We can rent a movie and order a pizza or something,” you suggested hopefully. Peter had been so busy with his internship lately and it had been so long since you had last seen each other outside of school.

“I would love to, y/n, but I really can’t tonight. I’m sorry. I’ve got the Stark Internship.”

Again?” you whined, “Doesn’t Tony Stark know that you have a life? I miss you!”

“I know, babe, and I’m sorry, but homecoming is in six days. I want to make sure that I get all of my work done so we can have a good time together. In six days I’m all yours, I promise.”

“Okay,” you said happily, “I’ll be counting the days, Parker. I can’t wait.”

Keep reading

Chubby Cheeks | Hoshi Fluff

Anon: Hello :D can i request a scenario where you just cant stop kissing svt’s soonyoung’s cheeks bc theyre just the most precious and softest thing in the world? Thank you!!(:

Character: Kwon Soonyoung
Word count: 807

He giggled, trying to push your head away. “Stop, it tickles!” The laughter bubbled up in his throat, that he tried to hide, but struggled to. Soonyoung was conscious of Seokmin’s sleeping form, in the bed just three feet away. Yet he couldn’t stop the giggles that shook his shoulders and rippled through his body, from head to toe.

Keep reading

Two Weeks

“Two weeks?” Jack blinked over at his brother.

“Two weeks.” Conor nodded, his eyes darting between the two sat across from him, “Think you can handle it?”

“You make it seem like we can’t live without each other,” Joe responded, crossing his arms.

“You two are sat so close together you’re practically in each other’s laps.” Josh casually pointed out, smirking as Joe and Jack blushed and inched away from each other.

“Two weeks. No touching.” Conor repeated, “If you can manage it, all of us will do one thing each for the both of you. Anything you ask.”

“It shouldn’t be difficult,” Jack said, turning his head to look over at Joe, who shrugged in response.

“I think we can manage it easily.”

“Yeah,” Josh scoffed, “I think you’ll make it a day.”

“Oh shut up.” Jack said, throwing a pillow at his former roommate.

The boys had all decided to challenge Joe and Jack to absolutely no touching for two weeks.

Not that either thought they touched each other that much, but their friends claimed they were the most touchy feely best friends they’d ever met.

Joe had always brushed off the comments, because he just felt comfortable around Jack, that was all. And Jack was just a naturally touchy person, so he didn’t think anything different of it, even though when he did stop and think about it, he touched Joe more than anyone in their group. But it was all innocent little touches. A hand to the knee to get his attention, grabbing Joe’s hand to lead him somewhere, or leaning close together while watching a movie, because Joe tended to get tired and apparently Jack was comfy.

That was all.

Purely innocent.

And so both figured two weeks of no touching should be easy. Simple. They’d win no problem.

Three days in and Jack was regretting agreeing to the challenge.

It wasn’t until now that he realized just how much he had grown used to having physical contact with Joe.

There were many times where he had to catch himself before his hand landed on Joe. Like earlier that night while they were sitting together watching a YouTube video, Jack’s arm slung across the back of the couch, and Joe’s body had naturally moved closer, so Jack’s fingers were close to brushing through the soft locks, something he knew helped Joe relax, but then Jack saw Caspar watching him closely, a little smirk on his face.

Jack quickly removed his arm, and sat on both of his hands.

Maybe this challenge would be more difficult than he thought.

Or maybe he just needed to be more aware of his limbs.

A couple days after that, Joe began to realize how much he was struggling.

He couldn’t even be on the same side of the room as Jack, because his body seemed naturally drawn to the other man.

He also hadn’t noticed how much he relied on Jack’s touches to relax him, meaning Joe was constantly fidgeting; his knee would bounce, his fingers tapping against his knee, or he’d constantly shift in his position to get comfortable.

All the while, he would feel Jack’s eyes on him, that small frown surely on the younger man’s face, because he knew he could stop the fidgeting that everyone was getting annoyed with. But both Jack and Joe were determined to prove that they were able to go without touching for two weeks. They could do it.

Surely they could.

A week into the challenge, Joe and Jack decided that they needed to stop hanging out. At least alone.

Because there were a few close calls when it was just the two of them, and while they knew they probably could have gotten away with it, since there was no one to witness it, they were both stubborn in completing the challenge properly.

And so, they stopped hanging out alone. And if they could avoid being around each other at all, even better. Although neither really liked that option, because they were still best friends and wanted to see each other.

Joe felt like he had lost a part of him, not being able to be how he usually was with Jack. It felt odd to see Jack on the other side of the room, or glance at him from a completely different room, when normally they were always side by side.

Jack was feeling the absence just as strong, trying to busy himself with other activities to distract himself from the weird empty feeling of not having Joe around.

The challenge was opening both of their eyes to something they hadn’t expected to find.

Perhaps this was the boys plans all along.

When the two weeks were nearly up, Joe was very much ready to throw the challenge out the window.

He didn’t think he’d slept properly since the challenge started, tossing and turning in bed as he tried to force his body to relax. It felt constantly on edge, leaving his mind exhausted, but at night unable to sleep. The conscious effort to not touch Jack was wearing down on him heavily, and his muddled mind was greatly confused.

Because it shouldn’t be this difficult to go such a short time with not touching your best friend.

Jack on the other hand, while also feeling the effects of the challenge, had come to a realization just past the halfway point. And that realization had actually made it a little easier to avoid Joe, because he wasn’t entirely sure how the other man would react.

But Jack’s tired mind finally revealed why he touched Joe so much, more than what best friends should do.

And although he hadn’t told anyone yet, Conor had that smug look on his face, meaning he knew what Jack had come to accept. And Jack really hated that his older brother knew how to read him so bloody well.

“Only one more day, boys!” Josh announced as they were all hanging out one night outside at Joe’s.

Joe and Jack were sat on opposite sides of the couch, as to avoid losing the challenge, although Joe was ready to curl up against Jack’s side so his body would finally relax for once.

“And you thought we wouldn’t make it,” Jack said, running a hand through his hair as he glanced over at Joe. He wanted to pull Joe close as well, although for entirely different reasons than before.

“Nope,” Josh shook his head, “Honestly didn’t think you’d make it this long.”

“You two haven’t been cheating, have you?” Caspar asked, studying each in turn.

“No.” Joe sighed, “We haven’t laid a single finger on each other since you idiots issued this stupid challenge.”

“Thought it would be easy?” Conor smirked, sending Jack a silent look who rolled his eyes in response. Just one more day to get through.

“It has been!” Joe protested, although it sounded weak to everyone’s ears.

“Mate, you haven’t stopped moving since last week.” Oli casually pointed out, nodding towards Joe’s bouncing knee.

“I’m fine.” Joe snapped, forcing his knee to stop. One more day.

Jack decided he couldn’t handle watching Joe fidget any longer, not when he knew what could help, and so he pushed himself off of the couch, announcing he needed another drink before slipping inside.

He was stood at the worktop, hands braced against the counter as he tried to think of anything but touching Joe when he heard a warm and familiar voice wash over him.

“You okay?”

Turning around, Jack smiled over at Joe, who’s blue eyes were shining with worry.

“I’m fine. Just had to get away from them for a moment.”

“I get that,” Joe nodded, his eyes locked on to Jack’s.

“How’re you doing?” The younger man asked softly, noticing the way Joe twisted the hem of his shirt around and around his finger.

“M’fine. We probably touched each other too much for best friends anyways,” Joe answered, a nervous chuckle following his words.

Had he realized what Jack had?

“Yeah, probably.”

The two stared at each other for a moment, the sound of their friends laughter filtering in from outside.

“Jack…” Joe started, a new emotion flashing through his eyes as he worried at his bottom lip.


“Are we….do we….I mean….”

“You gotta use your words, Joe.” Jack smiled gently over at the nervous man.

Yup, Joe had the same realization as him. But now one of them needed the courage to do something about it.

“Did you ever think about why we always have so much physical contact?” Joe finally blurted out, his body still for the first time in almost two weeks.

“I did,” Jack nodded, stepping closer, “But then about a week ago I figured it out.”

“You did?”

“Mhm,” Jack’s fingers hovered around Joe’s, only a hair’s width of distance between them, “Have you figured it out yet?”

“I think so…”

“Do you want to wait until tomorrow?”

“No.” Joe breathed out before his one hand moved to the back of Jack’s neck, pulling him down into a long overdue kiss.

Jack’s arm wound around Joe’s waist, their bodies flush together, both relaxing instantly at the familiar touch as their fingers laced together at their side.

“Fucking finally!” Conor’s exclamation caused the two to break apart, even as their hands remained joined together, neither wanting to let each other go now that they’d finally been reunited.

“I’m actually surprised it took this long,” Oli said, shaking his head, “I figured they’d give up within the first week.”

“We should have done this ages ago.” Caspar commented as he headed for the fridge.

“I’m impressed,” Josh said to Conor, “Didn’t think they’d make it almost the two weeks.”

“I thought two weeks was going to be too much for them,” The older Maynard replied, “And that they’d give up a lot sooner and just get together.”

“Wait,” Joe shook his head, “What?”

“They planned this,” Jack laughed, “They knew how we felt before we did.”

“You knew?” Joe looked over at Jack.

“No, I figured it out a couple days ago though. Because Conor was giving me smug looks.”

“Because you finally figured out what we all knew!” Conor said to his brother, “And I knew it was only a matter of time before you caved and did something.”

“But I wasn’t the one to break it!” Jack protested, “Joe did!”

“You initiated it!” Joe fired back.

“I did no such thing!”


“Oh my god!” Caspar called out, slamming his water bottle down on the counter, “Shut up! You both lost, that’s the point! We knew you couldn’t go two weeks without bloody touching!”

“Did they lose though?” Oli chuckled, nodding towards the new couple who were talking softly, standing very close together.

“I think we’re the ones that lost,” Josh rolled his eyes, spinning on his heel and heading back outside.

“Oh well,” Conor shrugged, following after the taller man, “At least we don’t have to watch them send each other pathetic looks now.”

“Thank god for that,” Oli muttered, him and Caspar heading outside as well, leaving Joe and Jack to make up for the lack of touching from the past two weeks.

Sleepy Kisses - boyf riends

Title: Sleepy Kisses

Word count: 575

Pairing: Jeremy Heere x Michael Mell (boyf riends/Meremy)

Warnings: Kissing? Fluff?

A/N: Well, this is the small thing I talked about that I would post when I had no other things to post. Also, I’m posting this right before school, as opposed to right before I fall asleep, so there might be lesser mistakes (there’s always mistakes that I’m probably the only one who notices, but I go back and fix them).



It had been a long day. Jeremy and Michael had first eaten breakfast with Jeremy’s dad, at seven o’clock before he had to work. Since they had summer break, they didn’t need to go anywhere. 

Then, he and Jeremy and all of their friends had gone to an amusement park. Half of the day they had spent on rollercoasters and eating popcorn, the other halves was spent in the small waterpark. They didn’t leave until the park closed down for the night, and by then everyone was exhausted.

Michael’s house was quiet when they entered. His parents were away on some business trip, so he had the whole for himself, which was why they were sleeping over at his place. Michael’s parents were nice enough, it was just that they were very homophobic… and very open about it. Every time Jeremy slept over, he had to sleep in a different bed than Michael, usually in the guest room. They didn’t have to worry about now though.

Jeremy was the first one to hop in the shower when they came home. He hadn’t wanted to shower at the park with lots of other stranger guys around him, and neither had Michael, so they had just decided on showering when they came home. Michael had joked about joining him in the shower, which made Jeremy’s face completely red and made his words come out in a jumbled mess. 

When he came out, Michael had made dinner. And by dinner he meant pouring some of Jeremy’s favourite cereal and milk in his Player 1 bowl. Jeremy still loved it, and he ate it up before Michael even had a chance to get out of the shower. 

When he put the spoon down, he felt the exhaustion settle in his body. He barely made it to Michael’s bed without collapsing on the floor. When he could finally slither into the half warm sheets that smelled like his boyfriend, he let out a sigh of pleasure, before his eyes closed involuntarily. 

The next thing he knows is that Michael gets in the bed on the right side of him (Michael was always on Jeremy’s right hand) and wrap his arms around his half-asleep boyfriend’s waist. 

“Good night, my player one.” Michael murmured into Jeremy’s ear before softly kissing it.

Jeremy shuffled closer to Michael, and pushed his head so that his lips were a few inches away from his boyfriend’s. “Mmmmh, ‘isses.” He mumbled, his eyes still closed.

Michael chuckled, and the action made the whole bed shake. “Jer, you’re barely conscious. You should sleep.”

Jeremy’s only response was to shuffle even closer, so his lips were hovering over Michael’s lips. Michael couldn’t help but smile adoringly at his boyfriend. “So stubborn.” He mumbled right before he put his lips on Jeremy’s. 

The kiss was slow and lazy, and Michael was doing almost all of the work, but they both enjoyed. Jeremy gripped Michael’s T-shirt between his hands. Although Jeremy was in some kind of dream state. Not fully dreaming but not fully awake either.

Soon Jeremy’s whole body went limp and he stopped kissing, and it was clear to Michael that he had fallen asleep. He mumbled something in his sleep and curled up even closer to Michael, which made his heart skip a beat.

“I love you.” He whispered, before he kissed Jeremy’s forehead and fell asleep with his head on top of Jeremy’s.

Creaks and Groans.

One of my first ever fics, first published on AO3 in October 2015 set around MOBY/Bees. I’m starting to properly move my library over onto Tumblr though I will still post new stories to both sites. Anyway this is some proper Fun Fraser Fluff so please do enjoy and happy Thursday :) xxx

Claire set down the book and removed her spectacles. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, trying to rub away the exhaustion. She had never and would never regret coming back to Jamie, but certain conveniences, like electric lighting, would be very welcome.

The small oil lamp Claire had been using to read by glowed defiantly on the desk, its flame flickering as though aware of her discontent.

“I know, I know, you do your best.”
She muttered and heard a low chuckle in response. For a moment she squinted at the lamp and then as a movement caught her eye she swung round to see her husband leaning against the door-frame, grinning at her.

“Bloody hell! You could have announced yourself! How long have you been there?”

She whispered, conscious of the children sleeping in the next room.

“Long enough to witness my wife speakin’ to a lamp.”
Jamie stretched up the length of the doorframe, bracing his hands against the ceiling, his back popping loudly.

“Come to bed Sassenach. Whatever it is can wait for sunlight, ye look like a wee owl hunched there in the gloom.”

Claire straightened her own back indignantly and resisted the urge to groan as her spine straightened. Apparently she really had been hunching.

“In a little while, I need to finish this chapter on …”

“Dinna tell me,”
Jamie interrupted, holding up a cautionary hand.

“it’ll either be a herb I dinna ken or a ‘procedure’ I dinna wish to think of before bed and neither should you.”

Jamie pronounced the word procedure with exaggerated care, it was his preferred way of referring to anything bloody and medically gruesome that Claire might be interested in telling him about.

“Afraid I might try to examine you in your sleep?”

Claire teased, pushing the chair back from the desk.

Jamie snorted and moved into the little room holding out his hand to help her up. Claire’s heart fluttered at the sight of his battered and scarred fingers closing around and her own. The skin was still firm but the wrinkles around his knuckles were deeper with age and he had a trio of delicate freckles across the smooth skin of his wrist that had not been there when he was a younger man.

“How many times have I held your wee hand in mine do ye think?”
Jamie asked quietly and Claire shook her head.

“I couldn’t begin to tell you, but it could never be enough.”

Jamie’s chest swelled with a deep breath and Claire was shocked to see tears glinting in his eyes the dim lamp light.

“Oh! Oh Jamie!”
Claire was on her feet in moments, aching back forgotten as she reached for her husband.

“Dinna pay me any mind a leannnan. I seem to be becoming an emotional auld fool these days.”

Claire placed her hands along either side of his face, threading through his beard to run her fingertips over his cheekbones.

“What’s on your mind?”

Jamie turned his head and kissed the inside of her wrist, just below the tiny, faded ‘J’ he had placed there over thirty years before. When he spoke his voice was thick with emotion and his eyes fixed on hers with an intensity that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.

“I dinna ken how much longer I have left to live in this world Sassenach but I truly hope I ne'er need spend another day of it wi'out holding your hand at least once.”

Claire began, closing her eyes as he pressed his forehead to hers, but the words of comfort that she wanted to speak died in her throat and she stopped, heart pounding. 

The enormity of their mortality flashed across her mind in a way it had not for a long time. Without warning the memory of thinking Jamie dead, lost at sea on a doomed ship, was upon her and with it came a terror and a desperate, almost painful want of him.

“Jamie, I need you. Now.”
She demanded, eyes wide and focussed entirely on her husband, their amber iris’ darkening to the colour of fresh honey viewed through tinted glass.

Jamie’s own eyes flew open, he had been lost in the warmth of his feeling for Claire and not thinking of ravaging her in the cramped little study.

“Here? I dinna think …”

Her hands slid under his shirt and he felt his body begin to stir, his own hands settled in Claire’s mass of salt and pepper hair, a thousand shades of brown, gold and silver.
She arched her spine, pressing herself into his touch and her back creaked loudly
“Jesus! Sassenach! Are ye…”

“I’m fine … just …”
Claire was fumbling with his breeks as Jamie tried to navigate them back towards the sofa. The buttons popped open and Jamie felt his cock spring free, pressing into Claire’s skirts. He gasped and his hands dropped to her arse, gripping her hard, his want beginning to match the frenzy of hers.

“Pull ye skirts up lass.”
He growled softly

Claire fumbled for a moment, the room was small enough in its own right but with Jamie stood in it, the space felt unconscionably tight. Finally she managed to get a hold of the hems and hauled them up. 

Jamie ran his hand up her bare thigh, settling his palm just above her backside, ready to guide her to the settee but in a moment of recklessness, Claire launched herself up at him and wrapped her legs around his waist. 

For a blissful and breathtaking moment, they joined as one flesh. Then Jamie felt a shooting pain in his hip and a twinge in his lower back and without warning his legs buckled and he flopped backwards over the sofa arm, Claire still pressed on top of him.

Jamie landed awkwardly across the cushions, tipping the entire thing alarmingly backwards, before it crashed back into place with a bang that shook the window. Claire, unable to keep her balance, slid onto the floor with a much smaller but considerably more painful thump that she knew would leave a beautiful bruise by morning.

They lay frozen for a moment, waiting for Mandy or Jem to cry out to Brianna, or the dogs to start barking, but the house remained mercifully silent.
Claire looked up at Jamie from under her mass of curls and saw his entire frame quivering with suppressed laughter. Claire felt it flutter in her own stomach and crawled into her husbands arms, burying her face in the hollow of his neck, doing her best to remain silent as the waves of hilarity washed over her.

After what felt like an age they pulled themselves together and sat up, hiccuping and wiping their eyes, grinning at each other like loons.

“Oh God,”
Jamie shook his head and dabbed his shirt tail against his streaming eyes before running his hand down Claire’s flank gently.
“Is your arse alright Sassenach? The sound of it, ye’ve cracked the floorboards!”

Claire nodded and grimaced,
“Yes. Luckily I still have a fair amount of padding on that particular region of my anatomy.”

Jamie snorted and took a firmer grip in answer.

“How’s your hip?”

“It’s twinging a wee bit but no doubt it’ll sort itself by morning.”
Jamie shrugged. 

Claire struggled to her feet, more hunched than ever, one hand pressed to her lower back, the other stretched out to her husband.

This time it was Jamie who placed his hand firmly into hers and together they manoeuvred him up with only a couple of muttered curses when his hips protested the movement.

“I’m sorry Jamie, that was completely my fault.”
Claire said, blushing at the memory of her foolish leap but Jamie only smiled at her.
“Dinna apologise mo chridhe. The day ye dinna wish to leap into my arms will be a verra sad day for me indeed.”

Hand in hand they limped toward their bedroom, the occasional snort or giggle escaping between them, feeling a strange mix of youthful joy and old bones.

Honestly, I’m fascinated by Robert’s guilt. It’s so very obvious The Incident™ is tearing him up inside and making him want to claw his skin off.

This is not cheater!Robert. We’ve seen cheater!Robert. Cheater!Robert lies, schemes, and literally kills to keep his affairs a secret. Cheater!Robert is about power and the danger and excitement an affair gives him in his life. Cheater!Robert makes the conscious decision to sleep with someone who isn’t his SO, and go back for more, consequences be damned.

This Robert is a very deeply broken Robert who was upset and destroyed and thought he had nothing left to lose. Dubious consent issues aside, The Incident™ was not about excitement.
This was about trying to reclaim some control over a life that had spun so quickly and vastly out of his control. The only way Robert knew how to do that was to fall back into his sleazy old habits.

But in the cold light of day and soberness, he realized. He realized what a shitty mistake he’d made and it’s eating him up from the inside out. That, above everything, shows me this is actually not regression but another step in his character growth and development. Because cheater!Robert would never admit his mistake immediately - certainly not to his SO - and would never take responsibility for what he’s done. Here, I see a man who is fully willing to accept that Aaron may very well never want to be with him again - but he needs him to know nevertheless.

This is not cheater!Robert. This is Robert Sugden who is working through and accepting the consequences of what he’s done, no matter where the chips may fall.