In which nobody would stop talking about Akuze.

Garrus actually learned about it from Ashley after an incident on the Citadel required some explanation.

[Ed. Note: I know it’s easy to make fun of Jenkins for bringing up Akuze right away, but almost everyone on Normandy 1 mentions it. And, his thing is nothing compared to that Kaidan dialogue. That conversation must be an absolute train wreck if you’re a colonist sole survivor.]

so apparently Mass Effect: New Earth is gonna have live actors on stage sooo does that mean someone is gonna talk to you the whole ride like in Star Tours?

imagine you’re sitting in your seat totally psyched 

suddenly a guy comes out in a poorly handmade Alliance pilot uniform

“Hey everybody! I’m your pilot, Conrad Verner! Is this your first flight around the galaxy? Well it’s MINE TOO!!!”

Adventures of Conrad

I want a Conrad Verner game.

Where you derp around the galaxy (As Conrad) recruiting other failures to save the galaxy because you don’t know it was already “saved”.

  • Squadmates are: 
  • A volus who made a series of bad investments and is now being chased by tax collectors, but he convinces Conrad they are terrorists. 
  • A insane asari who has lived way past her own lifespan, and believes Conrad is the second coming of the Goddess. She keeps reffering to him as “The Goddess”
  • A cranky senile war vet turian who thinks Conrad is actually Shepard, and keeps making comments about the “good old days”
  • A hanar who cosplays.

Through your constant failures, you actually do uncover a threat and somehow stop it through a series of failed missions and horrific mistakes. 
Towards the end, you actually save Commander Shepard from the destroy ending of ME3.