connor noon

CITY OF ASHES FANCAST: MAX LIGHTWOOD

Okay, how do we start with Max? Without crying, maybe?

THIS WAS HARD! I mean, I went from Troye Sivan to Chandler Canterbury. And all of them are 15+… it’s almost impossible to find an appropriate Max!

But, I’ve done my homework… here are two kids (twins!) that, those familiar with Broadwalk Empire can recognize easily…

Connor & Brady Noon!

They’re so cute… and talented. And don’t they resemble Kevin and Jemima a little bit? It’s awesome…

Let me hear your thoughts, people!

Definitely Not A Cliché High School Love Story - Chapter 19

2 chapters + 1 side story to go. Guess the side story?

Chapter 18


Chapter 19


With trembling hands, Connor turned the key and stepped inside his house. The blinds were still down, which was odd considering it was almost noon.

Connor swallowed hard before he called out, “Dad?” His voice was still a bit husky.

When he didn’t receive an answer, he repeated his question. A sigh came from the kitchen, followed by a clink. Connor clenched and unclenched his fists and took a deep breath before making his way there. He felt like he was heading straight into a lion’s den.

He found his father sitting by the kitchen table with an empty glass and a bottle of whiskey that was only half full. Fuck. Adam usually never drank liquor, only beer. This was bad, really fucking bad.

“Dad?” Connor asked again in a thin voice.

Not even looking up, Adam said, “Just go to your room.”

Utterly confused, Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “Wha-,“ He began but he was cut off by his father.

“Go to your room,” Adam repeated and poured himself another glass of alcohol.

Connor had no idea what was going on. His coming out would have explained his father’s drinking but Jordan had told him he kicked him out, so this whole ‘go to your room’ thing just wasn’t making any sense. “Dad, we need to talk,” Connor said quietly yet firmly.

Still not looking at his son, Adam waved him off and took a big gulp of his drink.

“I said we need to talk,” Connor raised his voice. Whatever this shit was that his dad was pulling, he’d had enough of it.

Hearing the anger in Connor’s voice finally made Adam look up. Just like Jordan, he also had dark circles under his eyes and he seemed exhausted. “About what? About you being gay? Or about your suicidal tendencies?”

Connor’s breath hitched. He could feel his heart pounding violently against his chest and his palms getting sweaty. He had no idea how his dad knew about that, he wasn’t supposed to find out, ever.

He was desperately trying to come up with a lie but his dad continued. “I had to find out about your breakdown from Jordan’s mom this morning. ’Hey, Adam, newsflash: your son wants to kill himself.’” Adam scoffed and shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt more humiliated in my entire life.”

Connor bit down on his lip so he wouldn’t start screaming. “Again, everything is about you. It’s about how it affects you,” Connor spat. His dad just fucking had to make everything about himself, but what had he expected?

Adam smashed his fist down on the table, which caused Connor to wince. He watched his dad slowly elevating from the chair and taking a few steps ahead. Now they were standing face to face, intensely staring at one another. “You’re damn right it’s about me!” Adam barked. “I’m the one who’s failed as a parent here! Me! ME, ME, ME!” His dad was yelling and violently poking at his chest. Connor would’ve sworn he could see his dad’s eyes glowing in the poorly lit house.

Connor had never seen his dad behave like this before and it frightened him. He wasn’t scared because Adam was being aggressive, that was just a part of his personality at this point. No, this was because it seemed like his dad genuinely cared. Like he actually gave a shit about him. Adam never showed any sign of weakness, not until now, and Connor had no clue how to handle seeing him like that.

“Dad…,” Connor began but he couldn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t want to lie but he didn’t want to tell the truth either. While it wasn’t entirely his dad’s fault that he was the way he was, he had played a part in it. A big part.

“I’ve always known, you know. I noticed how you looked at boys, the way you were supposed to look at girls,” Adam said, his voice breaking. “I’ve always known you were gay and I haven’t done anything about it. I’ve done nothing and now you’re depressed.”

“You couldn’t have done anything about it, it’s just the way I am,” Connor replied hanging his head, not looking at Adam because seeing him tearing up made him uncomfortable and guilty.

Adam folded his arms in front of his chest. “No, you wouldn’t be depressed about being gay if I got you some kind of help.” His voice was heavy with regret.

Connor’s head shot up. “I’m not depressed because I’m gay, dad. I’m depressed because I had to keep it a secret. It had been slowly eating me alive and no one would have fucking noticed it and I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone,” he said sharply.

“Last night it seemed like Jordan knew,” Adam retorted.

Connor scoffed and threw his hands in the air, “You did too, you literally just admitted it!” He burst. “And yes, Jordan figured it out. I guess it’s not that hard if you actually spend some time with me.”

Completely ignoring Connor’s outburst, Adam mumbled, “I should’ve gotten you help.”

YOU SHOULD HAVE HELPED ME!” Connor cried out, stressing the word ‘you’, making Adam jump. Unable to stop his tears from falling, Connor continued yelling, “You are my dad, you should have helped me, you should have been there for me! You should have made sure that I was okay and comfortable with myself but I never was, not until I met Jude! He jumped into a relationship with me even though he knew we couldn’t go public. Despite all the shit that had happened to him before, despite he’d sworn he would never do it again, he did it anyway and I hated myself for it. I hated myself because he’s actually the most amazing person ever and I knew I was hurting him in a way. I still hate myself for it and I don’t blame him for breaking up with me. I don’t deserve him, I never did.” At that point Connor’s face was soaking wet and he was panting. He wasn’t sure why he just told his father all about that but he felt like he was going to explode if he couldn’t get it off his chest.

Adam’s expression was a mixture of shock and pain. His own son going off on him twice in less than 24 hours started to make him feel like he was the worst parent on the planet. “I’m sorry.” That was all he could say because the ugly truth was he didn’t know how to comfort Connor and that was the reason why they were in this awful situation at the moment.

Adam took a shaky breath, “I don’t know how to make this better, Connor, I really don’t. I didn’t mean to kick you out last night, I’m so fucking sorry, please forgive me.” Now he wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that he was crying too. “Just…just tell me what to do and I will try my best, I promise. I don’t want you to do to something stupid.” Something stupid like killing yourself, Adam thought. He couldn’t say those words out loud but Connor was able to read between the lines and it made his stomach shift.

“I just need you to be there for me and actually listen to me, dad,” Connor sniffed.

Adam silently nodded as he wiped his tears away. “Okay, okay,” he replied in a muffled voice. “So, uh, this Jude kid, do you really like him that much?”

Although he was still crying a little, Connor softly chuckled. “This would be much easier if I just liked him, dad.”

Adam’s eyes widened and he’d hesitated for a second before he just nodded again. “Listen, I’m gonna be honest, I need time to adjust but I will try. If he means that much to you, you shouldn’t give up. Go and get him back, I won’t stop you.”

“Funny, that’s what Jordan said. Without the adjusting part. He seems to be completely down with me being gay,” Connor said in a slightly lighter tone.

“I could tell last night.”

“About last night – I’m sorry, too. I was wasted and I acted like an asshole,” Connor said apologetically. Although he couldn’t remember, he felt shitty about the way he came out to his dad, it was probably the worst coming out of all time.

“Apology accepted but you’re grounded for two weeks,” Adam replied sternly.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Connor grimaced. “When does it start, though? I kinda have to take Jordan’s car back to him.”

“And you will take it back and come straight home, got it?” Adam asked.

“Got it,” Connor answered, then turned around and started making his way to the front door.

When he was just a few steps away, he suddenly stopped. He could have sworn he heard voices coming from outside, so he listened.

“No, I can’t hear anything. I think we should go in,” he heard the familiar voice. Jordan.

“This is stupid, let’s just go before they discover the idiot and his sidekick,” said someone else sharply. Connor’s heart did a flip. It was Jude.

“Oh, and I’m the idiot, right?” Judging by his tone, Jordan was clearly irritated.

“You said it,” Jude replied sassily. Connor snorted. Jude’s attitude was back, and he managed to torture Jordan with it.

“What was that?” Jude asked warily.

Without waiting for Jordan’s response, Connor walked to the door and swung it open, causing his best friend and ex-boyfriend to fall on the wooden floor with a dull thud. Both boys had their ears pressed to the door so when Connor decided to open it, they lost their balance.

“Ouch!” Jordan cried out as he turned to his back and grabbed his elbow. Jude just groaned and murmured a ‘fuck’ under his breath.

Connor just shook his head at the sight. “What the hell are you two doing?” He asked incredulously.