connor connor connor

revolutionarywarlock  asked:

Would you want to write about a Evan/Connor friendship from when they were younger, like middle school? We need more cuteness and less angst in the fandom I mean

Yes fluff is needed, enjoy some fluff.

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Eight grade sucked. That’s what Connor decided about half way through the year. He didn’t have any friends and he definitely wasn’t normal. He would hear boys talk about girls while he thought about other boys. He was gay, he knew it. He didn’t mind but he would never dare tell anyone. 

“Um-m-may I jo-join you?”

Connor glanced up from his bangs, he was currently growing out his hair, which only added to the teasing. Connor squinted and in the sunlight made out the silhouette of Evan Hansen. Connor didn’t really know Evan, aside from the fact the boy sat in the corner away from everyone. “I mean if you’re prepared to be teased for being in my presence go ahead,” Connor gestured to the spot beside him.

Evan joined him in the shade underneath the oak tree. “I-I don’t m-mind i-if peo-people tease me,” Evan smiled lightly at the boy beside him. Connor simply shrugged, he didn’t have friends so he didn’t really know how to interact with people. 

The two sat in awkward silence before Connor finally spoke up. “Why are you here? Sitting with the freak who threw a printer at Mrs. G?” Connor questioned as he shot Evan a look. Evan shrugged as he pointed up at the oak tree. “Oak tr-trees liv-live a lo-long ti-time you kno-know,” Evan managed to stutter out.

“You’re avoiding the question,” Connor pointed out as he turned towards the other boy. Evan turned towards Connor and gave him a small, shy smile. “You looked kind of lonely,” Evan admitted, not stuttering for once.

Connor got an angry blush on his face. “I-I’m not!” Connor said harshly, why was he still blushing, why did Evan Hansen make his heart race faster when he sat down. Connor’s eyes almost widened, he had a crush on Evan Hansen. No this was not happening. “Are you-you okay?” Evan questioned, reaching out for Connor.

Connor pushed Evan’s hand away. “I-I’m fine,” Connor lied. Evan shook his head and moved closer to Connor. “A-Are you sick or something?” Evan questioned as he inspected Connor’s face. He usually wouldn’t get too close to people but Connor seemed ill. 

On impulse Connor leaned in and touched their lips together in a soft kiss, he couldn’t believe he was actually kissing a boy. When he pulled away he saw Evan’s eyes wide and shocked. Connor couldn’t believe he done this, he had his first kiss and probably stole Evan’s.

“I-I should go,” Connor blurted. He stood up as quick as possible and took off running. He wouldn’t turn around and he ignored Evan’s cries of ‘Wait’ he just kept running. By the time he got home he was sweating, and embarrassed at what he had done.

That was a moment neither spoke of. As they aged through high school, they didn’t speak about what happened under the tree but they both remembered the feeling of each other’s lips and the sun beating down on them. The kiss meant a lot to both Connor and Evan, it had been their first kisses, even if it was just two eight grade boys. 

Sometimes Connor found himself still sitting under the oak tree, it held a happy memory. “Um…hey,” Connor glanced up and it was like he was transported back in time. There stood Evan Hansen in his blue striped shirt and khaki pants, his arm adorned with a cast. “Can I sit?” Evan asked.

“I mean if you’re prepared to be ridiculed by some assholes,” Connor shrugged. Evan gave the long haired teen a soft smile as he sat down beside him, the suns rays warming both of them.

“I don’t mind,”

You Will Be Found

Connor crunched up the fucking letter and tossed it across his room. Of course Evan Hansen was just like everyone else, why wouldn’t he want to run and tell people Connor was freak. Connor thought that maybe Evan wasn’t like everyone else, maybe he was different. Connor was wrong.

All my hope is pinned on Zoe…

Of course the guy he was in love with loved Zoe, who didn’t love Zoe. Zoe was perfect, Connor wasn’t. Connor knew he was a fucking lost cause, everyone knew it. He just had to accept the fact, if he disappeared no one would miss him, not his family, no one. 

God fucking damn it, why was he relating to everything Evan wrote in that letter. That poor fucking kid felt they way he did, Jesus he should’ve stuck around and talked to him. Connor hated himself right.

If I just disappeared tomorrow would anyone even notice or care?

There was a light knock on Connor’s door followed by his mother’s voice. “Connor honey, a boy is here to see you,” Connor pulled himself off the floor, limbs heavy, he made his way over to the door and swung it open. “Who is-” Connor’s eyes drifted past his mother and saw Evan Hansen.

“I-I didn’t know you had a friend honey,” Cynthia smiled at her son and grasped his arm lightly. Connor cringed, god she made him sound lonely and sad.But she seemed happy at the prospect of Connor even talking to someone. “Yeah,” Connor muttered, not looking at Evan or his mother. Cynthia ushered the boy in the striped into the room and closed the door behind them.

“What the fuck are you doing here Hansen,” Connor snapped, he wasn’t in the mood to deal with Evan. He was being a dick to him though, and while it made Connor feel guilty, he was never good with feelings anyways. “I-I um wanted to apologize for the le-letter, I-I didn’t m-mean fo-for you to see it,” Evan whispered. Connor rolled his eyes.

“It doesn’t fucking matter anyways Hansen, you wanna write creepy shit about my sister, go ahead,” Connor glared. “But don’t fucking use it to make fun of me,” Connor said, nastily as he crossed his room to his bed. 

“I-I didn’t m-make it to-to anger y-you,” Evan answered. Connor snorted as he chewed on his thumb, why wouldn’t Evan want to make fun of him? Everyone else did, so why was Evan any different “It’s true,” Evan insisted. His eye caught the crumpled up piece of paper in the corner. “It-it’s just something I-I have to do okay…for th-this thing,” Evan tried to allude towards that he too had issues like Connor.

“Look Hansen I don’t fucking care what you meant in that letter can you just…leave,” Connor sighed, the anger fading from his voice. Evan glanced at the long haired teen. “I know what it’s like to feel alone Connor,” Evan said, eyes never straying from the other boy. Connor lifted his head up from his knees and tilted his head, what was Evan getting at. 

“And you’re not alone, no matter how hard it seems, someone will come running Connor, someone will find you, so stay safe okay?” Evan told him “And if you need me,” Evan grabbed a slip of paper from his pocket as well as a sharpie, he quickly jotted down his number. “Call me okay?” Connor couldn’t seem to form any words.

“You will be found Connor Murphy,” Evan smiled as he retrieved the crumpled up piece of paper from the floor. Evan exited the room and left Connor with his thoughts and the slip of paper with Evan Hansen’s number on it. If Connor did even try to call him would Evan answer? Was this just pity? Connor didn’t have the answers but what Evan told him struck a chord within Connor.

You will be found Connor Murphy…

Maybe Evan was right, maybe he would be found and maybe Evan was the one who was going to find him.

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So I wrote this earlier for my 400+ follower celebration, so thanks you guys for following my blog and liking my writing :)