Imagine Wash constructing the most beautiful sandwiches ever (of all time). Imagine him thoroughly sick of being the victim of distraction theft, or finding stealthy bites have been taken out of his sandwiches in the mere seconds he takes his eyes off them. Imagine him constructing a decoy sandwich, leaving it on a mess hall table and leaving to “get a drink”. He returns to find Connie retching next to the table, while North carefully pulls apart lettuce, slices of tomato and salami to find a thick layer of black pepper, cinnamon and slices of ghost peppers. No one ever touches Wash’s sandwiches again.