connected instrumentals

Each time we get a new live-action Batman, I’m perplexed as to why we never get a Robin. No, I don’t mean Chris O’Donnell reluctantly moving to Wayne Manor when it looks like he’s already 21 or older. I don’t mean Joseph Gordon Levitt inexplicably being referred to as Robin during the very last minutes of a trilogy. And I certainly don’t mean hints of a long-dead Robin, sacrificed as additional kindling to toss upon the pyre that is Bruce Wayne’s grief.

Why don’t we ever get eight-year-old Dick Grayson? Why can multiple animated series and comic book arcs introduce a young, vulnerable child into Batman’s life, can give him purpose and gravity in the narrative and allow him to develop into a partner and then a hero in his own right, while movies either avoid him entirely or warp him into something unrecognizable? People more familiar with Batman as a pop culture icon than a character with a long, established comic history tend to be those who dismiss Robin by claiming that Batman is an eternal loner. That we’re tarnishing his character by burdening him with a child sidekick, and that he must prowl the night in solitude or we’re denying the most essential parts of his persona.

Are you kidding me? Batman independently paid for the floating space clubhouse that his Justice League buddies meet in. He is instrumental in connecting the entire database of heroes that make up the DC universe. You’re threatened by the potential presence of Dick Grayson? Bruce—in precious canon!– has no less than five adopted/biological children: Dick, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Cassandra Cain, and Damian Wayne (and sometimes Helena Bertinelli). That’s not to mention the multiple young people he mentors: Barbara Gordon, Stephanie Brown, and Carrie Kelley in some continuities (and these same people will defend The Dark Knight Returns until their bitter deaths, so don’t you dare object to Carrie Kelley in the same damn breath).

I don’t think any other DC hero builds as large of an extended family as Batman constructs for himself. The Batfamily is legendary among the fanbase. Bruce loses his parents and he’s devastated and has obsessive and antisocial tendencies, sure. His gruffness is charming, even, but it’s a calculated presentation to conceal the brokenness at his heart. He seeks out troubled children to protect and guide again and again, because he doesn’t want them to develop his own self-destructive qualities. Everything that certain sectors of fandom glorify about Bruce, Bruce himself actively fights against seeing take root in any other vulnerable child. He trains them to serve Gotham City, but more importantly, he provides them with the stability to recover themselves from the brand of tragedy that shaped his own life. If you ask Bruce his greatest accomplishment, he’d say without hesitation, “Nightwing.”

If you think of Robin as a quippy sprite of a boy in bright colors and pixie boots, you’ve barely scratched the surface of what makes this character so important to the Batman mythos. He provides levity against Batman’s darkness, and it’s refreshing, sure. But he’s so essential to Bruce confronting his own trauma and development in being able to function as a team player—as an eventual member of the Justice League, which is a cornerstone of the upcoming films—that I honestly can’t wrap my brain around universes that exclude him. Dick’s presence forces Bruce to focus outside himself, and outside the single-mindedness of his mission. Batman needs Robin a lot more than Robin needs him, and the films consistently rob Bruce of one of the most significant bonds in his life.  

We have a new universe on the horizon, and the herald of a dead Robin before we even get started. I hope the DC films are satisfying and successful—truly, I do. But it makes me ask the same question I’ve had each time a Batman film has released during the last few decades: why are cinematic universes so threatened by the premise of a living child being a part of Batman’s world?

Di piano e forte 01

Originally posted by sugasuite

pt. 1 ↠ pt. 2

↠Summary: Piano; A keyboard of cypress, played with soft and loud. Was it the ivory and onyx keys that let you escape from your reality…Or was it the man with sable hair and ivory skin.

↠Genre: Angst, fluff.

↠Warnings: This fic contains themes of depression, domestic and verbal abuse as well as mature things.

author’s note: Updates for this series on Thursday or Friday, enjoy! Check my m.list for status.

“I’ll be home around 6, lock up before you leave, bye!” You shouted loudly, rushing out the door with a bag heavy on your shoulders. Hopping frantically, trying to slip on a shoe yet keep down your dress, like a kid late to school (which you were). You threw the bag in the passenger seat, put the key in the ignition and stomped on the gas. You arrived at the university in the nick of time.

Having grown up taking music lessons here and there, you’d think it would’ve stuck with you. But that wasn’t the case, you hadn’t played since you were a little girl but you still had a deep connection with instrument. You’ve been looking for a teacher and finally found one who didn’t live far from the school. He had one opening left so you called him immediately. A music student at the college was giving lessons and you were far too excited for someone your age but you couldn’t help it. He asked you to meet him at practice room 2B at the school. With a backpack slack on your shoulders you went up the stairs in a hurry. You weren’t late, you were actually a few minutes early. You just wanted to make a good impression, you didn’t actually know much about him, only his name. Min Yoongi. 

You knocked lightly on the door, no response. You knocked again, still no response. Propping yourself up on your tippy toes you peeked through the small glass window on the top of the door. He’s in there. His fingers danced on the keys and there were ear buds in his ears. Slowly you pushed down on the knob and were met with your proposed piano teacher stalling the movement of his fingers. 

“Oh, hi, you’re early.” Steadily he got up from his seat, he held his hand out shook mine. “What was your name again?” His cold fingers grasped yours briefly and you squeezed your fists instinctively.

“Y/N, it’s nice to finally meet you. Thank you so much for taking me so last minute. I left class early just so I wouldn’t be late.” You smiled nervously, he grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and sat it aside the piano. Hesitantly, you sat down your bag and stood awaiting his instructions. 

“That’s thoughtful of you- I’m Yoongi by the way.” He said pulling out the stool, “You can have a seat.” He gestured to the stool, you flattened your skirt against your thighs before you taking a seat. “Have you ever played before, at all?” 

“I played around when I was little, that’s about it. I do play the guitar.” Pressing your hands in your lap you awkwardly nodded your head, agreeing with yourself.

“Well, the first thing I’ll teach you is posture. Sit up straight.” His hand pressed against your lower back to straighten you up. This small fraction of the lesson was making you more excited than it probably should have. For years you dreamed of learning the art of this flawless instrument and here you are. You were finally doing it. You looked to him for approval. “Is this good?”

“You’re a bit stiff, relax, just don’t slouch. As you get better, it’ll be natural.” he laughed breathily, demonstrating by stretching his arms and shoulders. You did the same, shaking off your nerves and taking a deep breath. “Now put your hands on the keys like you would if I wasn’t here, go on.”

“Ok…” Your fingers steadily approached the ivory keys and you looked at his expressionless gaze. It was hard to tell if I was doing it right.

“That’s good.” He praised. You couldn’t help the smile that tugged on your lips. The whole hour was exciting to you. All you did was go over scales, pretty basic stuff you already knew. “You know your scale patterns.” He commented, somewhat taken aback by what you knew. The thirty minute lesson consisted of you going over every scale you knew and some of the ones he showed you. 

“I think we’ve covered enough for today, you did good.” He stood to his feet and you did as well. You maneuvered your legs between the piano stool and his chair before reaching down to grab your bag. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, "Oh! I have something for you.” You reached in your backpack and pulled out a little box.

“What’s this?” He was a bit surprised, he’s never really received a gift from his students, not on the first day at least.

“It’s rice cake, I make it to sell as sets sometimes but I made this one for you, I hope you like strawberry.” When he untied the thin pink string and opened it he smirked to himself, bringing a smile to your face.

“I do, thank you.” When he smiled a weight was somewhat lifted from your shoulders, but at the same time you had the thought that he might think you’re overbearing or too excited. “Well…I’ll see you next week then.” You waved. “Bye.”

When you closed the door he sat on the stool with the little box in hand. He could already tell that teaching you would be more than interesting. In a good way. Most people your age came to him for maybe a month lesson and they’d give up but you didn’t seem like that. You were just as eager as a little girl, it was cute.

Keep reading

Spoonie Life #47

When chronic fatigue results in a four hour nap.

Originally posted by isabellelightwoodwannabe

Torah’s purity rules were rules of access and welcome. Over time, Israel turned the good laws of purity into instruments to bar the way not only to Gentiles but also to other Jews… Purity laws designed to provide access to God for people in the flesh, designed to regulate social connections within Israel, designed to prepare Israel for her mission to the nations, become instruments of exclusion and brute marginalization. At its worst, Pharisaical oral tradition is the law turned back to flesh - turned into a means for reinforcing fleshly distinctions, restrictions and enhancing fleshly boasting - which is why Jesus so ferociously attacks the Pharisees.
Earth Magic Master Post

Earth Stones

  • Salt
  • Heavy/opaque stones
  • Coal
  • Obsidian
  • Malachite
  • Jet
  • Agate
  • Green stones for its color

Earth Signs

  • Taurus
  • Virgo
  • Capricorn

Earth Colors

  • Citrine
  • Olive
  • Russet
  • Black
  • Black flecked with yellow
  • Dark brown
  • Amber
  • Green (physical aspects)
  • Brown (mental aspects)
  • Black (spiritual aspects)

Earth Deities

  • Adonis
  • Akka
  • Anath
  • Bona Dea
  • Ceres
  • Cerridwen
  • Cerunnos
  • Dagda
  • Demeter
  • Enlil
  • Fauna
  • Gaea
  • Gerd
  • Hu Tu
  • Jord
  • Maeve
  • Nana
  • Nikkal
  • Pan
  • Persephone
  • Rhea
  • Tammuz
  • Yolkai Estan

Earth Planets

  • Earth
  • Venus
  • Saturn

Earth Metal

  • Lead

Earth Plants

  • Adonis
  • Amaranth
  • Barley
  • Black cornflower
  • Buckthorne
  • Clary sage
  • Comfrey
  • Corn
  • Corn poppy
  • Costus root
  • Flanders poppy 
  • Grain
  • Horehound
  • Ivy
  • Kava kava
  • Licorice 
  • Maize
  • Mugwort 
  • Millet
  • Norway spruce
  • Oak
  • Oak Moss
  • Oats
  • Patchouli
  • Poppy Petals
  • Reishi
  • Rice
  • Root crops
  • Rye
  • Sage (herb, seeds)
  • Spikenard
  • Vetiver
  • Verbain 
  • Wheat
  • Earth-smelling plants
  • Mosses, lichens
  • Nuts
  • Dry, stiff plants
  • Low-growing plants (Earth hugging)
  • Acorns

Earth Angles

  • Cherub of the Earth

Earth Animals

  • Owl
  • Dog
  • Horse
  • Earthworm
  • Gopher
  • Ant
  • Cow
  • Burrowing Animals
  • Stag
  • Bison
  • Moose

Earth Qualities

  • Slow
  • Receptive
  • Fertile
  • Moist
  • Nurturing
  • Stabilizing
  • Grounding
  • Strength
  • Endurance
  • Commitment
  • Responsibility
  • Thoroughness
  • Practicality
  • Wisdom
  • Patience
  • Timing
  • Dullness
  • Melancholy
  • Boredom
  • Inertia
  • Stagnation
  • Hoarding

Earth beings

  • Dweller of the Threshold
  • Gnomes
  • Trolls

Personal Aspects of Earth

  • Law, Wisdom, Stability, Foundation, Humility
  • Melancholic
  • Perceptive
  • Cold & Dry
  • Determined
  • Discriminating
  • Dependable
  • Excess: Heaviness, lack of energy, inertia
  • Insufficiency: Spaciness, Hyperactivity, Instability

Helpful little notes…….

  • Acts of burying, hiding, planting, rooting, digging out/up; accessing hidden depths (mining), growing, nurturing, is great with earth magic.
  • The magic of gardening is a amazing way to connect with the earth and become more acquainted with its magic.
  • Drums and percussion instruments connect you with the earth, just beat the drum to the rhythm of your own body.
The Mer Music List

Originally posted by witchlakes

Recently I was checking my inbox and I’ve gotten questions inquiring what music I find connects me to my kintype. I find a variety of music helps me connect, but I find instrumentals and Celtic is the most prominent among the types.

Took a little bit to compile, there seems to be a bit more music for other major kintypes ( I’m looking at you fairies and vampires, you beautiful mythical beings) but not much in the way for Mermaids/Merpeople. But nevertheless I found some and without further ado, here they are in no particular order. 

*Beyond the Sea - Bobby Darin
*Orinoco Flow - Enya
*Caribbean Blue - Enya
*Sailing - Celtic Women
*The Call - Celtic Women
*Sirens of the Sea - Oceanlab
*Siren’s Song - Jon Foreman
*Come Undone -Duran Duran
*Atlantia - Secret Garden
*Under the Sea - The Little Mermaid
*Into the West - Annie Lennox ( from the LOTR Return of the King, by far my favorite on the list - I still cry when I listen to it 13 years later)
*Infinity Ocean - Era
*Return to Innocence - Engima
*Ocean - Azam Ali &  Loga Ramin Torkian
*Master of Tides - Lindsey Stirling
*The Ocean - Oxygene

jade puget is a fucking great guitar player. and i’m telling you this as a person who played for thirteen years, he is fantastic.

everything about his playing is such a precise structure that belongs solely to him and i cannot think of another guitarist in comparison. jade never relies on guitar solos to make a song extraordinary.  he’s melodic and hard at the same time (christ listen to “medicate” ffs), the way that he gets his guitar to match to davey’s voice and convey the emotion in their lyrics is pretty much drift compatible. just listen to how each of them gush about how they wrote “malleus maleficarum” together for the first time.

everything about AFI is drift compatible and it’s unfortunate that most people can’t hear that instrumental connection all four of them have. but jade is definitely a special creature who skyrocketed AFI into a particular sound and i love him dearly.

… anyway i love AFI, and jade puget is my insurance agent.

Can I just say how immensely PROUD I am of these four boys? They became crazy famous so quick and so young. They’ve been through so much shit and they must know all the good and all the bad this industry can have in store for you. They were often laughed at, treated like objects, being stalked, being treated disrespectfully, people easily underestimated them and their own team never really had their back. And yet? They are all such lovely, down to earth, easy going boys. Everyone who meets them is in awe of them. They are hard working, passionate and so so talented. They write their own material, play instruments, make connections with other great artists and industry personalities. And they are all so successful right now. And so loved by so many. They continue to amaze me and make me proud every day. Being this lovely, never complaining, always fighting and doing their best…with their history and all those obstacles…is just admirable and absolutely amazing! Much love ❤️

Originally posted by irinagudronchik

Anyone can be a Doctor.

A really, really late entry for Twelve Days of Twelve:
Day 7: Favourite Scene

[I know. This one should be a collection of gifs showing every single instance Missy and the Master are in the same scene. But after conducting careful calculations I’ve come to the conclusion humankind is not made to witness that level of awesomeness all at once. So, here have something else instead.]

Winning? Is that what you think it’s about? I’m not trying to win. I’m not doing this because I want to beat someone, or because I hate someone, or because I want to blame someone. It’s not because it’s fun and God knows it’s not because it’s easy. It’s not even because it works, because it hardly ever does. I do what I do because it’s right. Because it’s decent. And above all, it’s kind. It’s just that, just kind.

It’s not always the good guys who win. Not in real life, and also not on a TV show for kids even though the Doctor did have an impressive track record of 50 years for doing the thing™.

We like to turn the Doctor into a super hero, and forget that he doesn’t have any special powers, or instruments, or connections. He is a lot less like superman, and more like one of us. If the past two series had a message then it was that anyone can choose to be the Doctor. Clara, Osgood, Bill. Even Missy. Because yes - it is a choice. One, we’ve seen the Doctor make over, and over and over again.

What we hardly ever get to see in fiction is that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes life pits us against just too strong enemies. Sometimes being good, having the moral high ground is not enough.

And although the Doctor is outnumbered, even though he never stands a chance he still gets to choose sides. He knows it’s pointless, that it won’t stop his enemies, but what else could he do?

At the end of the day, fights are not about victories, but the choices one can live (or die) with,

Clean Slate Part 1 (Thomas Preference)

A/N - Hello everyone! Long time no see! I’m here with a Thomas preference for you all as requested by an Anon. The title may give it away but it is about the reader/OC losing her memory. There will be a part two to this one so please look forward to that. Enjoy my lovelies! :)

P.S - Also, just saw cover for James Dashner’s Fever Code and I’m so freaking excited!! September 2016 is too far away tho!!! :)

Originally posted by derrangedmurphy

You stirred awake after hearing soft beeping from beside your bed. When you tilted your head upward, you noticed it was a heart monitor. That was when you became aware of your surroundings. Was this an ER of some sort? Wires were attached to you and they were connected to different machinery, a small table beside you contained various scalpels and other instruments but what really caught your attention was the sign in front of your bed:

Property of WICKED

Subject A15

Clean Slate

WICKED? Clean Slate? What the heck does all this mean? Something seemed off. You quickly pushed yourself to a sitting position and pulled the wires from your hands and legs. Fear filled your veins causing your extremities to tremble violently. You swiftly tossed your legs over the bed, removing the last wires latched on your arm when the door slammed opened.

You looked up instantly. A man wearing a long white coat stepped inside accompanied by a woman who seemed to be taking vigorous notes on her notepad. “Good morning, glad to see you are awake,” the man stated with a crooked smile. He swiped his card on a keypad near the door and for a second you thought you saw lights flicker.  

“Clear,” an automated voice answered and that’s when the two stepped closer to your bed.

“I trust you had a good night sleep,” he stated calmly, “but why have you taken the wires off?

"What is this place? Why am I here?” you said with an edgy tone and the man began to take notice in your apprehension.

He placed his hands up and if you were an officer placing him under arrest. “Relax, I’m just trying to help you.”

“What are you talking about? Who are you?”

“AH! Sorry about that. My name is Jansen. This is my assistant, Beatrice. I know everything might seem confusing to you but trust me, we are here to help you. And these - he pointed to the wires thrown over the bed - are ways in which we can monitor your vital body functions and also get some nutrition in your body. You have become so frail.”

“Why? Is something wrong with me?”

Jansen raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know anything?”

“What?” you cried out in shock, “No! I don’t know anything! I don’t know why I’m here! I don’t even know who I am!”

“It’s ok, just calm down,” Jansen stated bringing his arms back up in defensive mode again. He checked the instruments once more to examine your health before nodding to his assistant, signaling her to leave. As soon as she exited the room, Jansen sat beside your bed while going through a few documents in his hand.

“I have a few questions, I just need a yes or no answer.”

“I’m not saying anything until you tell me why I am here.”

The man sighed before rubbing his forehead as if he was suffering from a severe headache. “We saved you from the Scorch, which is basically what our world has become today: a desolate wasteland with the Flare virus. Soon we will be transporting you to a safe haven where you will no longer be prone any danger and you can start anew.”

“The scorch … that’s outside?”

He nodded softly. “Do you remember anything?”

“Sometimes … I thought I heard things either in my head or  … Maybe from outside… Familiar voices, terrifying screams, and monstrous cries which can make you cringe. It’s all bits and pieces. What exactly is out there?”

“It’s all … bad memories.”

“Who’s WICKED?”

Jansen sighed lethargically, clearly annoyed by your constant questions. “Since you are part of the group who is immune to the Flare virus, you are also considered a target.”

“So WICKED wants something inside of me?”

“Yes, but don’t worry, you’re safe now. Now if we could just - ”

“Were there other people with me?” you asked abruptly, causing Jansen to stare at you surprisingly, “The voices in my head belonged to them … right?” You didn’t know why you just blurted that question out. Maybe you wanted to feel as if you weren’t alone. That there were others and maybe, just maybe you did have a family. “Why am I the only one here?”

Jansen leaned back on his chair. He stared at you long enough to nearly burn a hole through your skull. “Interesting,” he murmured, “On the contrary, we found you in the Scorch alone. So whoever these ‘people’ are must be from your- ”

“I am not making things up.”

Jansen chuckled. “I didn’t mean any offense. I am just trying to do my job. Part of which involves helping you get in touch with reality. Whoever you were before, she doesn’t exist anymore. Your only choice now, is letting me help you. Are you willing to do that?”

You sighed. Do you have any other choice? Before you could answer, a blaring alarm roared through the facility causing you to shiver in shock.

“Oh shit,” Jansen murmured.

“What’s going on?”

“Looks like we have company.”

“Who? Those things from outside?”

Jansen scoffed. “Please, cranks are easier to deal with than this.”

“Who is it?”

Before he could answer, the door slammed open. There you saw Beatrice accompanied by a few officers dressed in black. However, it wasn’t the officers which caught your attention but the people who they were dragging in by the collar. They took a few steps into the room before throwing them onto the floor.

“If that shank ever touches me again,” a rough voice came from one of the bodies. The muscular Asian boy who spoke stood up accompanied by a few other tall males who seemed to be of similar age with you. One of them stepped to the front who you thought to be their leader. Similar to the others, his skin was slightly sunburned and a bit tan and he looked exhausted as if he had been running for hours. Within seconds of scanning the room, his eyes landed on you. He seemed worried yet also relieved. His eyes followed your arms to the wires connected to the various instruments in the room.

“Hello Thomas. You have a lot of guts coming back here,” Jansen stated.

Back here?

“Let her go, Jansen,” the boy stated in firm tone, “I’m not let leaving without her.”

“I don’t think that’s up to you to decide,” Jansen replied with a smirk.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Thomas asked, “Y/N! Come on!”

You assumed this strange boy was talking to you. The only problem was you had no idea who he is.


You cringed back, a bit confused at your current predicament. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”

It only took those few words to wreak havoc among the boys. They immediately grew just as shocked as you were, only there was a glint of grief in their eyes, almost as if your words had physically wounded them. Some of them exchanged looks with one another and others continued to stare at you. But only of them had your attention. Thomas.

He looked more wounded than the rest of them. He stepped forward. “W-what did y-you do to her?” he stammered.

Jansen scoffed. “Do to her? You’re making it seem like I’m the bad guy here. Thomas, have you completely forgotten why she ended up in the scorch alone? Who was responsible for abandoning her? You Thomas.”

A silence filled the room. You looked back at the boy in shock. He was the reason you were alone? Anger filled his eyes. He looked as if he was about to explode any second.

“That was a mistake,” he stated furiously.

“Mistakes which you seem to make so often.”

“Enough! I’m done with your shit. Give her back!” he exclaimed and ran forward. He didn’t even make it past two steps when he crashed and fell hard on the ground.

Jansen chuckled. “You really think I’d make it this easy for you?” You squinted hard and noticed a tiny shimmer in the area before you. A force field or an invisible barrier of some sort blocked you from the other boys. That’s when you remembered when Jansen and Beatrice first walked in, they had to slide their access card on the keypad before traveling further into the room. The keypad was to remove the barrier. Were you really that important that they would need to go to such extremes to protect you? What was going on here?

The other boys helped Thomas up but he didn’t last long in their arms since he ran forward and banged his fists against the barrier. “Damn you Jansen! I’m not going to let you take her from me.” He continued to crazily hit the clear wall that you were afraid his fists would end up bleeding.

“I had enough of this nonsense,” Jansen replied, removing the wires from your body and pulled you off the bed. He lead you to a door in the back. You glanced back at the boys who were frantically calling you. They seemed to look like they care for you, yet Jansen revealed they were the ones who left you alone. You were too confused to be making any final decisions.

“Y/N! Don’t do this!” Thomas yelled as if his life depended on it, “It’s me! Its Thomas! Your Thomas! Please, Y/N! YOU CANT FORGET ME!”

Your felt a slight twinge in your chest as Jansen closed the doors behind you drowning out the screams from the other room. Those cries didn’t seem crazy but so desperate and full of pain and anguish. It nearly splintered your heart. You slithered your arms away from Jansen and turned to face him.

“Who were they? Do I know them?”

Jansen smiled in a way that sent a shiver through your spine. “I don’t want to confuse you with that info. The only thing left to do now is get you to our farm, or the safe haven. The only condition is that we run a few tests for WICKED.”


“Yes, I guess you can say we have a … mutual agreement.”

“I thought you said WICKED is harming people.”

“On the contrary my dear” Jansen replied while cornering you, “WICKED IS GOOD.”

Connect (Instrumental)
Connect (Instrumental)

I will not forget the promise that we made
On that day we were torn apart long ago
If I forever must return to that darkness
I’ll do it for you

Once the future was bright and large as the blue sky
But it clouded over in deep darkness as time passed on by

Countless times I’ve pushed on despite my growing fears
Marching on and on against the many trials and pain and tears

But the memories of your smiling face
Give me hope to one day fly away from this place
As the days go by
As the clock ticks away
I regain the strength to make it through the day

My awoken heart is racing, running towards the future
That again is looking bright
And even if that darkness looms overhead
I won’t lose this fight

When I see that sky, so blue and so bright up ahead
I start to feel my doubts and fears melt away
No matter what I may face
I won’t give up

In such a twisted world, one with nowhere to go
I look back and remember all the friends who I used to know

If I’d stumbled they would reach out and take my hand
Having someone there beside me gave me strength to rise and stand

I am filled with joy that you and I’d shared
Out of all, you were the one who I’d most cared
I call out to you, and I hope and I pray
That by some miracle that this will be the day

Always on my mind, the promise that we made
I will somehow find a way to fulfill it
If I forever must return to that darkness
I’ll do it for you

Any obstacle that I may face I’ll overcome
If it means even a chance at saving you
No matter what might happen
I won’t give up

Here we stand in a land consumed by this labyrinth
Even though this wasn’t what I had intended
There you are

Our awoken hearts are racing, our feelings leading us
Into that future so bright
And even if that darkness still looms there
I will not lose this fight

I leap in the sky and reach out to you
Hoping that I can somehow connect and see you again
No matter what I may face
I won’t give up

Tomorrow I fight on

A Chance at the Hidden Power. Pt.8

Words: 4.8k

Warning: Swearing and mentions of sex

Summary: Calum in Y/N body goes on a date and Calum teaches Y/N bass.


I sighed for what was probably the 50th time today, looking at Calum across the room stuffing crisps in his mouth then picking the crumbs out from between his boobs and eating them. He was slouching on the sofa with one leg spread open over the arm rest and the other one stretched out in front of him. He had Michaels shirt on but he had tucked it under his bra because he was ‘getting hotter than hell’ in it, but he didn’t want to go through the effort of taking it off. Basically the way he was sat made me look ridiculously fat and I was starting to grow anxious of what the boys might think if suddenly they came into the room. When Calum stopped eating the Jumbo Bag of Cheetos, he wiped his hands all over the shorts I had just bought then started to squish his belly together then let it go, making it. That was breaking point.

“Calum!” I whined,  hurrying over to him and yanking the shirt out of his bra and pulling it down, making sure it covered his belly. He looked at me as if I was crazy and tried to pull the shirt back up but I kept it pinned to his hips and laid on top of him so he couldn’t move.

“What the fuck are you taking,” Calum mumbled before watching the TV and running his hands through my hair, wrapping his fingers around my short curls. I relaxed on top of him, moving my hands so I could rest my head on them but even that was uncomfortable so I threw my arms over the sofa arm and rested my head on Calums thigh.

It had been a couple of days since Amy’s phone call and the only words she said that played over and over again in my mind were that Calum and I would have to get along. I’m not complaining about that as so far we truly have been getting along but what if suddenly it was too end?

What if i’m always going to be Calum? Always stuck in the body of a famous rock star, but not being able to play the fucking instrument he’s connected with.

I wouldn’t dare giving up his dream. I’d have to learn the ropes of his job and so would he with mine. I kissed then bit Calum’s thigh before standing up abruptly, getting a harsh slap on the back of my thigh from Calum.

“That was rude.” Calum mumbled, rubbing his thigh then looking up at me with a frown and a pout. I nearly cried at the sight but I smiled at him cheekily and winked before grabbing his hands and pulling him to his feet.

“If we’re going to be trapped in each others body we have to learn each others ways,” I said walking up the stairs pulling Calum with me by his hand, he nearly tripped up but grabbed onto my hip to steady himself. I walked into his room and grabbed his bass sitting down on the bed with it in the correct way (see! I’m not that dumb!). Calum raised his eyebrow at me and crossed his arms under his boobs, popping his hip out to the side but I just kept looking at him as if what I was doing was the right thing to do. Which it bloody well was.

“For god sake. How hard can photography be?” Calum said with a roll of his eyes and biting his lip in frustration.

“Well since it took me a whole 3 years to get a diploma, pretty fucking hard-”

“What? Harder than your dick every morning you wake up next to me?” Calum cut me off before doubling over with laughter, snorts coming from him which made me look and sound attractive. Not.

“Let me fucking finish you twat.” I kicked out at him making him yelp out, “First teach me how to play.” Calum’s face lit up at what I said and stopped is temper tantrum before it could get any worse. He sat in front of me on his knees and plucked a few strings, turning the bobby bits probably tuning it. Ever since the boys formed the band I was always fascinated when they, well Michael Luke and Calum, tuned their instruments.

Luke would always do it hunched over in the corner or on the edge of his seat, his eyebrows furrowing together in concentration, groaning and swearing loudly when he tuned it incorrectly. Michael would always sit next to me whilst doing it, making silly jokes about being surprised his fingers even reached the strings but finishing tuning it within a matter of minutes. But Calum would always sit in silence, only the smallest chuckle coming from him whenever someone said something funny. His tongue would peak out the side of his mouth, the deep pink contrasting beautifully with his dark caramel skin.

“Ok so lets get started,” he said plucking a string and looking up at me with a small smile and bright eyes. I nodded and smiled back at him, waiting for him to continue.

“This is the G chord” He let it ring and moved down to the next chord “This is D, A and E. And these are the chords I write most of the songs off.”

“Ok and what do they mean?” I asked him, watching as he retracted his hands away from the bass. He looked at me, questioning where this conversation would go to.

“Well they’re the chords Y/N.”

“And?” I really wasn’t sure what he wanted me to understand but for starts, it wasn’t going well.

“They make different sounds..” Calum said stupidly, giving me a dumbfounded look.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that. I’ve never touched a bass guitar in my life. I haven’t even touched Michaels guitar for crying out loud!” I was getting frustrated and Calum could tell, his eyes wide and his hands up in fake surrender.

“Fine sorry! Let me explain.” He mumbled before gesturing at the bass, “These are the tuning pegs, this is the head, neck body and the bridge. This is nut, fret and finger board. And these switches here are the controls, this one controls volume, this one controls bass tone, this one the treble tone and this one is the balancer. Got it?”

“Kind of.” I shrugged, taping my feet on the ground.

“Ok which song would you like to learn first?” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face and pulling at his hair slightly.

“Beside you, it’s my favourite.” I spoke grinning at Calum. He looked up at me and smiled, crinkles forming by his eyes.

“You mean that?” He whispered, putting his hands down on my thighs.

“Yeah. It’s one of the best songs you’ve ever wrote.” I said confidently. Calum chuckled before moving my fingers along the fret board.

“It starts of like this, pluck D A D G B E..”

“You know what I can’t fucking do this! Bass is too hard. I can’t feeling my fingers, my head hurts and I think I have a boner.” I panted after two hours of Calum teaching me the chords. Usually I was good at learning quickly, but every time we went from the chorus onwards I kept fucking up.

“Why and how the fuck do you have a boner? Plus, you’re actually doing really well.” Calum beamed up at me a look of confusion still in his eyes when he saw the boner.

“Ok but for today I think I’ve learnt enough and I don’t know.” I shrugged. We stared at it for a little longer before Calum spoke up.

“No, one more time! We’ll just ignore your little problem and sing the song, yeah?”

“NO! God no” I gasped, glaring at Calum.

“What can you not sing? You’re a world rock star.” Calum raised his eyebrows at me, a smirk on his face.

“1. You’re not a 'world’ rockstar 2. No I can’t sing.” I rolled my eyes, pushing Calums face away.

“But you’re in my body and you have my voice so you can,” Calum laughed, slapping my hand away from his face. “You can sing the last bit of it if you want too.”

“O-ok” I said exhaling deeply

“When we both fall asleep underneath the sam-” I stated to sing, but Calum’s laughter cut me off.

“Y/N, you got to play the bass as-well” he laughed “You got to sing and play, aren’t girls supposed to be good at multi-tasking?”

“Yeah but this is hard” I whined, lolling my head back for a minute before looking back at him.

“Start again” He said leaning back and watching me intently.

“When we both fall asleep underneath the same sky, to the beat of our hearts at the same time. So close but so far away.” I stopped playing bass quickly moving my fingers to the next chord and gave Calum a appoagetic look but carried on.

“Can you hear me?” Calum sang awfully and when I looked over at him, he was smiling up at me looking memorised. I laughed softly before singing again.

“She sleeps alone, my heart wants to come home. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you.
She lies awake, I’m trying to find the words to say. I wish I was, I wish I was beside you.”
I locked eyes with Calum who was lip syncing with me, his eyes closed and hands clasped together, pressed to his chest.

“She lies awake.. beside you..I wish I was, I wish I was…
She sleeps alone; my heart wants to come home, I wish I was, I wish I was…”
I finished strumming up and down the bass and smiling in victory at Calum

“Well done,” he clapped. I stood up leaning Calum’s bass against the wall and flopping back down onto the bed. “Even though you skipped a lot of the end but oh well, you still did it!”

“My fingers hurt now,” I whined, ignoring the part about missing some of the song.

“Aww bub,” Calum giggled throwing himself on me and laying on my chest. “They will hurt but I use this cream that makes them more calloused and also the way your fingers move you get used to it, it makes you good at fingering too. That’s why girls love me so much.” He winked at me, drawing patterns on my chest.

I scoffed at him playfully before grabbing his hips and pulling the lower half of his body over my hips, his legs on either side. He smiled at me sweetly, kissing me on the forehead quickly before grabbing a hold of my camera, which was on the bedside table and turned it on.

“So whats your inspiration?” he asked, pointing the camera down at me. I heard of the shutter and saw Calum smile at the screen. Calum rolled off my body to the space next to me, his back against the headboard, sitting on the pillows. I moved over and laid my head in his lap so I could see what he was doing with my camera.

“I find something beautiful and I take a picture of it.” Calum rolled his eyes and gagged, clicking onto the photo gallery scrolling through the photographs.

“Theres a lot of Michael. So you truly do find him beautiful, ay.” Calum asked, his voice a little bit more deflated then before.

“Michael is a beautiful human, not going to lie. Probably one of the most beautiful things ever to grace this planet. But most of the time you ignore me on stage and Luke interacts with the fans and its hard to capture ones of Ashton.” I tried to shrug but I ended up jabbing myself in the face.

“You don’t have any of me.” he said sadly scrolling through the Japan concert photo’s, clearing not listening to what I just said. I rolled my eyes and huffed.

“I tend not to go near you or I delete them after I’ve posted them, in fear you might embarrass me on stage.” I mumbled into his leg but he could still hear me.

“What about this one?” he says showing me the camera, it was the picture of him smiling at the ground, looking absolutely hypnotising as the sun radiated off of him, his curls unruly and sunglasses halfway down his nose.

“I’ve never seen this one., Y/N..” He said almost questioning me. He looked at me for a sign of disgust but all I did was look right back at him. He narrowed his eyes at me before looking back at the photo and smiling.

“I didn’t realise I took it until we got back, but I kept it because you looked.. uh.. You looked something, I just don’t know what.” I lied quickly, not wanting to make his ego any bigger than it was.

“Thanks I guess?” He chuckled, running his hands quickly through my hair, “You’re pretty fucking amazing at photography.”

“Did THE Calum Hood just compliment me!?” I sat bolt up, playfully staring at him in a shocked state. He smiled before it turned into a scowl, quickly looking at the camera and turning it off.

“Yeah well- don’t get fucking used to it.” I sat shocked as his behaviour completely changed, his demeanour becoming hostile and nasty. He jumped away from me and sat at the end of the bed, placing the camera down rather sharply.

“Remember Calum, you have the date tonight which I’m pretty excited for please don’t ruin it.” I spat, “Like you do with most things.” I grabbed my phone and walked out of the room, slamming the door as loud as I possibly could.

*Calum’s POV*

I grabbed a hold the 'ELF - liquid eyeliner’ screwing off the lid and grabbing a hold of the thin brush, wiping off any excess liquid. I had managed to do the foundation and contour baking it just like Y/N had showed me a few hours ago.  Y/N wasn’t here as the boys grabbed a hold of her for a boys night and I was left by myself no matter how hard Y/N protests. She had told me the basics and I remembered how she did her make-up from the party a few days ago. Well apart from eyeliner.

Why do I have to go on a date? Its so gay. I’ve got to sit through a guy, who is probably gonna show his fuckboy side, talking about 'how beautiful I look’ and all those other cheesy pick-up lines. I don’t even know what Y/N saw in this Mason guy. Sure he was tall, had a perfect quiff and bright blue eyes. Almost like a dark haired version of Luke but more punk with tattoos and a nose ring.

I dipped the brush into the black eyeliner practising on my hand the flick. I closed my eye drawing a wing and colouring it in. It looked alright I guessed. I closed the other eye doing exactly the same, apart from a small cock-up. I put down the eyeliner and gave a deep breath looking at myself in the mirror.

I was sat in a red lace pair of underwear and a matching bra which pushed Y/N’s boobs up a lot, making them mouth wateringly delicious. I grabbed the mascara applying it to my lashes and trying not to poke myself in the eye with the brush. I screwed the brush back into the rest of the pot and put it in the make-up bag. I stood up fluttering my eyelashes at the mirror and smiling.

Oh damn! I made Y/N look good. I turned around smacking my own ass giggling as I watched it bounce, then giggling more when I could feel it jiggle as I walked to the other side of the wardrobe.

Y/N had such an amazing body and had an even more amazing ass but I just don’t know why she gets self conscious. However, I swear when I’m back in my own body I’m going to fuck her doggy style and watch her perfect ass bounce off my cock. I miss my cock. I looked down putting my hand down my pants and stroking over my newly shaven vagina. I haven’t yet masturbated, I’ve always wondered what it would be like. Maybe Ill do it when I get back from this stupid fucking date. But it would be even better if I watched Y/N do it to herself when she’s back in this temple she has as a body.

I pulled out Y/N’s little black dress and threw it over. At the front it had some sort of lacy material which went as far down as the middle of my breasts. I untucked my straightened hair from the dress flicking it over my shoulders. I heard a knock on the door and looked at the time, it was 7pm and he was here. Great time to put on Y/N’s heels, which hurt my feet so much. I put them on grabbing my bag and Y/N’s white cardigan.

I opened the door and Mason was stood there in a black shirt and blazer with very tight skinny jeans. The shirt was rolled up over his elbows showing off his tattoo’s. He had a black nose ring in and his hair was in a quiff, curls escaping around his neck though. I must admit, if I were born a girl I’d let Mason fuck me but there was something about him I didn’t like.

“Hey,” I said smiling as best as I could at him even though right now he was making me want to crawl back in my bed and call Y/N to come home.

“Wow, you’re-you breath taking..” He stuttered, his eyes straight straight at my chest.

“Jesus fuck,” I sighed rolling my eyes, letting the fake smile I had on fall.

“What? Please tell me you know how good you look right now.” Mason said, moving out my way as I closed and locked the front door.

“I always look good.” I smirked running my hands over Y/N’s incredible body, staring straight at Mason as I licked my lips.

“C'mon then, lets g-go..” Mason stuttered, following me like a lost puppy to his own car.

We had gotten to the fancy restaurant and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’d never taken anyone on a date, usually it would just be a one night stand. Also I’m not even classing this as a date, Im classing this as getting information, seeing if Mason was a fuckboy and free food. The overly uptight waitress took us to our table and we sat down and she handed us the menus.

“So tell me about yourself.” Mason said placing his menu down and smiling at me, taking a sip from the fresh water that was already on the table.

“I’m a world famous bassist and I’ve been on a lot of magazine covers along with touring with one direction” I said bashfully, Mason snorted wiping his eyes.

“Y/N you are funny, but really what do you do?” Fuck.

“Oh-h” I coughed “I love taking photos. Well i’m touring with my brothers band doing their photography and putting them online.” I smoothly recovered. “I’m also basically in charge of two out of four of them as well.”

“Oh, how cute.” He said, not sounding bothered. “What do you take pictures of?” I looked at him dumbfounded but he was staring at my tits, which is why he didn’t listen. I thought of all the things to say before I remembered what Y/N said earlier today.

“I take photos of beautiful things; things that inspire me.” I spoke, drinking some of my water.

“Oh sweet, so you take a lot of selfies.” He flirted with a wink, so I gave him a sarcastic laugh at how cheesy he was being and looked back down at the menu. The rest of the night went on like this and I was getting so freaked out about it I couldn’t finish my food. However to be polite I still went home with him, much to my gut feeling of something being of I did it for Y/N.

Once we’d gotten back to Mason’s house, I didn’t really think that much of it. It’s the first date and if he really was portraying himself as a gentleman then its not like he’s going to come onto me that fast. I put Y/N purse down on the counter top and looked around. It was a nice small flat and had a large TV with X-box in the middle.

“Do you have Fifa?” I asked

“Yeah, but you’re a girl.” Mason scoffed.

“Don’t underestimate me.” I smiled. Mason laughed walking over to the xbox and turning it on. He handed me a controller setting up the teams and the players. I sat down onto his lime green sofa, still wearing these heels but I’ve gotten used to them. I leant back as Mason joined me on the sofa.

“Ready to get your ass beat?”

“By you? Not a chance” He giggled. I just smiled, since I was in Y/N’s body I hadn’t had the chance to actually play fifa and when I play against the boys its to easy.

“Game on babe.”

We had managed to get through 2 whole games and I had won both of them laughing at Mason because for a dude he’s really shit at Fifa. I stood up going over to the kitchen and grabbing a beer doing my magic trick with the bottles. I heard a gasp come from behind me and Mason was smirking. ,

“I know this is super inappropriate from the first date, but fuck you’re so fucking sexy. Wearing this dress and you’re beautiful body and beating me at Fifa, like fuck Y/N.” Mason groaned walking up to me. He got super close pushing me up against the counter, running his hand over my legs and under the dress rubbing circles. I tried pushing him away but he gripped onto tighter and it was starting to scare me.

“I know you’re attracted to me Y/N.” he moaned pushing his crotch into me. WHOA NO. I used all my strength to push him off me before grabbing my purse and running out of his house making sure to slam the door. I ran as far as I could in these heels, stopping in a park. I sighed deeply before running my hands through my hair. Where the fuck was I? This was the worst part of touring, I had no idea where to go. The only thing I knew what to do was call Y/N.

*Y/N’s POV*

I laughed at something Michael said as we sat at the bowling ally. Luke grabbed a hold of the green bowling ball slotting his fingers into the hole and walking towards the lane. I looked at the time it was coming 11pm and that means the date with Mason for sure was over by now. I’m just hoping things went smoothly. Knowing Calum he probably sassed him too much and went home to sleep and eat.

When it was my turn I stood up and went to grab a ball but stopped as my phone started vibrating in my pocket. Caller ID Calum. I excused myself from the boys, saying that one of them could take my go and walked over to the bar. I picked up the phone pushing it straight to my ear.

“How’d it go? Is Mason a good guy? Isn’t he just so dreamy..what did you talk about? Did you make me look good?” I asked quickly, anxious to find out.

“Y/N,” I heard a whimper then a sob, I immediately tensed up, my fists clenching.

“Calum, are you ok?” I asked sternly.

“Please come get me.. I don’t know where I am and I’m actually really scared. Mason came on to me and I didn’t know what to do. I t-tried pushing him away but h-” He burst out crying, not being able to finish his sentence.

“Calum where are you?” I spoke softly in to the phone.

“I have no idea, I’m near a park and a restaurant called Bills burgers.” He hiccupped.

“I know where you are, we’re literally 5 minutes away, I’ll come get you Cal stay put,” I hung up the phone and started walking back over to the boys. Ashton was sipping on his coke and Luke was re-tying his bowling shoes.

“Whats up, everything ok?” Ashton asked, looking at me expectantly.

“Yeah, Y/N needs picking up I don’t think the date went well…” I scratched the back of my neck.

“And she called you?” Michael asked looking at me suspiciously, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, so I’m going to go pick her up.” I shrugged, sitting down and taking off my bowling shoes and replacing them with my trainers.

“Wait she called you” Luke looked dumbfounded, looking at me as if i were crazy. I nodded and looked at them all with a 'jesus calm down guys’ type of look.

“I’m coming with you then.” Michael said sitting down and going to take off his shoes.

“No Michael, I’ll go by myself.” I said sternly, looking down at him.

“What so you can try kill her again?” He snarled, jumping to his feet and getting in my face.

“Michael..” I whispered “I’m so fucking sorry for doing that you know I am, but Y/N and I have gotten closer and I just want to go get her by myself, to make sure she’s okay. Please trust me as all I’m going to do is pick her up and take her home.” Ashton nodded at Michael, who then sat back down into the chair glaring at me. I never knew how much Michael actually wanted to protect me. He was such an amazing human and I miss him so much just looking at him. I turned around walking out the double doors and towards my car, quickly getting in and sticking the key into the ignition and listening to the car come to life. I reversed out of the car park and drove down the road. I knew exactly where Calum was; it was where Ashton first took me on our first day in LA when we were hungry but to lazy too cook. I drove slowly down the LA streets that were  filled with creepy old men and a prostitutes.

I turned the corner where Bills burgers were and saw the park. I parked the car on the curb and got out, locking the doors. I then entered the park, instantly spotting that Calum was swinging on one of the cherry red sings, but as it was night it almost looked grey. As I got closer I heard the squeaking of the swing and Calum’s light sobs. I walked over the grass making a almost crunching sound as I climbed over the cold metal gate and over to the swings.

“Hey Cal,” I whispered trying not to startle Cal, he jumped up from the swings as if he was scared but saw it was me and ran into my arms, hugging him tightly.

“Y/N, I can’t do this anymore, I want my body back..” Calum sobbed into my chest, his cries getting louder and more heart breaking. I kissed the top of his head and held him tightly.

“I know Cal, I know” I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, quickly grabbing his phine and bag before making our way to the car, Calum looking up at me with glossy eyes and his head resting against my shoulder.

“I’m exhausted Y/N,” Calum mumbled so I picked him up bridal style, his arms wrapping around my neck and his face pressing against my shoulder. I carefully walked to the car, pressing the unlock button and opening the passenger door for Calum. I set calum down in the seat doing his seat belt for him, then taking off my jacket and laying it over his body. I closed the door and jogged to the other side of he car, spotting a few people poiting and staring at us. I glared at them before getting in and turning the car on again.

“How long do you think this will last?” Calum asked weakly from the passenger seat, his hand on my thigh.

“I have no idea, it could be another week, a month, a year or this could last forever…who knows” I replied, letting my hand interlace with his then driving back to the house. The place that we could truly be together without stress and anxiety of people being able to see us. Just me, Calum and our neediness.


Instagram @music’s Monthly Hashtag Project: #MHPmysounds

Monthly Hashtag Project is a series featuring designated themes and hashtags chosen by Instagram’s Community Team. For a chance to be featured on the Instagram blog, follow @music and look for a post announcing this month’s project

The goal of #MHPmysounds is to make creative images and videos inspired by the sounds you feel most connected to. From the instruments you play to your favorite type of dance to a musician whose style you emulate, show us the ways music helps shape your identity.

Our project takes inspiration from Camille and Kennerly Kitt (@camillekennerly), aka the Harp Twins. Camille and Kennerly have built their lives and careers around what they consider to be a magical instrument. “It wasn’t something we had been exposed to really early in life or anything like that. We don’t have any professional musicians in the family and neither of our parents play instruments,” say the twins. “But somehow the harp resonated in a way that no other instrument ever has for us.” Although Camille and Kennerly are classically trained harpists, they are most inspired by rock and metal music, which they often cover live. “If we don’t play our version of Iron Maiden’s ‘Fear of the Dark’ [at concerts], people are really upset,” they say.

Some tips to get you started on this month’s project:

  • Look for ways in which music has an effect on the details you see around you every day. Perhaps it’s your style of clothing or the worn posters on your wall that captures your musical identity best.
  • Take portraits of the people or groups you associate with your personal sound. It could be the friends you see concerts with, the band you play in at school or even fellow fans at your next live show.
  • This project is about how music shapes who you are, so think about the personal connections and memories you have with certain genres, artists or songs, and brainstorm ways to depict those relationships visually.

Project Rules: Please add the #MHPmysounds hashtag only to photos and videos taken this month and only submit your own. If you include music in your video submissions, please only use music to which you own the rights. Any tagged image or video taken this month is eligible to be featured. Finally, please respect an artist’s wishes if they ask not to be photographed or recorded.

zone my finals are here and i need gentle instrumentals to get in the zone but im also weeaboo trash

featuring tracks/covers from ghibli, evangelion, madoka etc

listen on 8trackscover

01. あの夏へ (one summer’s day) - sal | 02. hyadain no Kakakata☆Kataomoi-C (jazz cover) - nichijou OP | 03. connect solo guitar instrumental - rurouni1928 | 04. 人生のメリーゴーランド (howl’s moving castle) - rio divo | 05. psychopass OP1 - abnormalize - eddie van der meer | 06. いのちの名前 - jazzin for ghibli | 07. fullmetal alchemist OP 1 - again by yui - eddie van der meer | 08. 残酷な天使のテーゼ a cruel angel’s thesis - evening! anime that jazz | 09. moonlight densetsu [piano] - animenz piano sheets


An Interview with Junkie XL, the ‘Full-Contact’ Composer Behind ‘Deadpool’

To see more from Tom, check out @junkie_xl on Instagram. For more music stories, head to @music.

By his own standards, Tom Holkenborg (@junkie_xl) is reluctantly — and quite successfully — a composer.

“More than anything else, I see myself as a musician,” says the 48-year-old artist. “But if you end up making music for a whole movie, then I guess you can call yourself a composer.”

Tom’s scores have set the tone of dystopia for Divergent, breathed humanity into the criminal mind in Black Mass, drummed up the fight or flight instinct in Mad Max: Fury Road and, most recently, beat expectations and topped charts as the musical sidekick to Ryan Reynolds’ hilariously disturbed superhero in Deadpool.

“We worked so hard on that movie, and it’s just really mind blowing how good it’s doing,” Tom says, about the soundtrack’s debut at 30 on the Billboard 200 chart.

For Tom, that reward is even better than working with Britney Spears or being the first artist in history granted the right to remix an Elvis Presley song (“A Little Less Conversation,” which hit No. 1 in over 20 countries under Tom’s moniker Junkie XL), both of which he did before jumping into film scoring.

“I tried a lot of things, and I never felt really happy,” he says. “I felt like I had to move around and do something else — until I went into film scoring. Out of the blue, all that creative fire that I had started burning inside. I felt way more let out than I was as an artist. I’ve been able to create music for films that, if I would have made as an artist, nobody would even wanted to have listen to.”

Despite Tom’s early success as an electronic artist and pop producer, it didn’t mean squat in the film world. He started at the bottom like anyone else, taking entry-level positions as an unpaid assistant. He soon became an apprentice to some of the most respected names in the business, including Hans Zimmer, whom he credits with giving him the confidence and know-how to finally strike out on his own.

“I call myself a full-contact composer,” Tom says. “I need to touch something and have a physical connection with the instruments, whether it’s synthesizers, drum computers, guitars, bass, drum kits, Indian percussion, whatever.”

When he joins a project, the film is usually about 60 or 70 percent done. The next step is to mull it over until the inspiration of sound emerges. Then, Tom grabs every instrument he’s got to fit that sound.

“[For Deadpool], I looked around the studio and was like, ‘I’ve got all these ‘80s synthesizers and drum computers, maybe I can put these puppies to use for the film,’” he says. “I went off on this creative spree creating all kinds of ideas, and then finally, after two weeks I called the director, Tim Miller, and I said, ‘Tim, I found the mix between Michael Jackson, Miami Vice and Frankie Goes to Hollywood on acid!”

That’s a hard sound to imagine, but once the director heard it himself, he knew it was the right fit. Considering the soundtrack’s current spot on the Billboard charts, audiences seem to agree.

—Kat Bein for Instagram @music