Peterick Theory #7: Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet
As I’ve said before, this is going to be less of a theory and more of an explanation, as a lot of people seemed to be confused as to what this song’s definition is, and it isn’t really based upon Peterick.
Most areas of confusion are based upon the first and second verse, so I’ll give out my own interpretation of it the best I can. This one will be a little longer, so brace yourself.
“Mr. Sandman’s showing his beam,
When he walks into the room the walls lean into listen.”
Now as we all know, in the entirety of Folie à Deux (especially as mentioned in the music video for America’s Suitehearts, and song 20 Dollar Nosebleed) Pete is known as Mr. Sandman whereas Patrick is known as Mr. Benzedrine. (for an explanation as to what Patrick’s identification as Mr. Benzedrine means, I suggest you refer back to our theory for 20 Dollar Nose Bleed)
It is believed Pete’s role as “Mr. Sandman” is a reference to the very widely known song Mr. Sandman by The Chordettes.
give me a dream,
Make him the cutest that I’ve ever seen”,
And referencing back toward old Fall Out Boy lyrics, this seems to fall into place, such as the line “If you are the dreamer, and we are the dream”, from Hum Hallelujah.
As to what “showing his beam” means, the likely assumption is that this line is referring to Pete’s (let’s call them what they are) dick pics.
In the time that photos of Pete’s dick were publicized for all eyeliner emos to see, Patrick talked about how it annoyed him how interviewers were discussing the photos rather than asking them about what mattered- the music. Pete possibly causing all this to resort to the line-
“Mr. Sandman’s showing his beam, when he walks into the room the walls lean into listen”.
“Surfed out brain waves flick back and forth,
Like old headlights sniffing model glue again”
Now what I take this as is, much like old headlights that flicker, he can’t keep his attention or creativity grounded onto one thing, and as a resort come this realization, he is “sniffing glue”. And for those who don’t know, is a way to get high.
Like he was trying to revive such creativity that was “flicking back and forth”.
Now, the second verse.
“Tempest in a teacup,
Peroxide princess, shine like shark teeth.”
Now, peroxide is used to whiten teeth, and teacups are known to be feminine and delicate, whereas storms (or tempests) and shark teeth and are known to be vicious… Dangerous.
It is easy to perceive him describing a two-faced person, one that acts innocent and is likely beautiful, and judging off the chorus describing adultery, this even furthers that.
The chorus is evidently describing the way he is cheating with a woman, referring back to her husband, and her wedding ring (or the absence of it), as if he were claiming to know more about her and her ideas toward her husband more than her husband himself.
Then, the bridge,
“But I will never end up like him, behind my back, I already am, keep a calendar this way you will always know”,
Now this line is also in the song What a Catch, Donnie (to hear about the significance of this line in What a Catch, I recommend you refer to theory #1, because it has a completely different definition there), but in the song Headfirst Slide it is one of the most depressing, and prideful, well thought out lines of all.
It is saying he’ll never end up like his mistress’s husband, cheated on… Lied to. But behind his back, he is already cheated on… Lied to, just like the husband mentioned.
Anyway, I hope this let people have a better idea of this song, because it is undoubtedly one of my favorite on the album Folie à Deux, and when interpreted is deeper than one might’ve thought.
I’ll be back with more theories soon.