Recently I have been embroiled in an inner battle - stealth.
It’s difficult for me to articulate as I know beyond measure that I will stay stealth; it’s just how it is here. It’s safer for not only me, but most importantly my family.
I just can’t shake that fucking nagging, tugging… I think it’s because we are finally finding kindred people. Friends. It’s lovely and reassuring and beautiful but I constantly find myself building a wall around myself. Just in case.
It’s exhausting, tiring and I am sick of feeling like I am not living authentically, despite me knowing entirely otherwise.
There’s a job going, I’m not only qualified for it but it’s a substantial pay increase from my current position with room to move up in the company.
I am not applying as the role is centred around working with GLBTIQ/CALD/People with Disabilities and I feel like I couldn’t do that job and not be out, to some degree at least.