confused interns

5

Okay back to happier (?) topics - today’s prompts were firsts/future/tears !!!! and honestly that’s probably a happy set why did I go for this even we might just never know

I was talking to my mum once about why she thought homosexuality was wrong/a choice and she told me that it was partially because the bible says that “confusion comes from the devil” and that whenever she heard LGBTQ people talk about their experiences with figuring their sexuality out, they said they were confused at some point. 

At the time, I didn’t know what to say to that. I had only recently come out to her, and I was still trying to find the best way to explain everything. But now I realize just how fucked up that statement is, because the confusion doesn’t come from liking someone of the same gender, it comes from adults demonizing that attraction. 

If a kid grows up in a household where being gay/bi/pan/etc. is normalized, then if they ever feel attracted to the same gender, or more than one gender, there isn’t any reason to be confused, because they haven’t been told that it is wrong. When I figured out that I liked both boys and girls, I was confused because I had been lead to believe that only one of those attractions was valid and that I wasn’t supposed to feel the other one. And when the feelings wouldn’t go away, I felt lost because it was supposed to be a choice. 

LGBTQ kids feeling confused has nothing to do with the devil, it has to do with society telling us that who we are is a mistake and that our feelings are possible to ignore/avoid.

The picture displays two Romani women demonstrating the Romanian government’s proposal to change the official name of the Romani people from “Romani”/”Roma”, which means “man” and is a word from the official language of the Romani people, to “Tigan”, which is a racist slur meaning “Slave”. 

The government says the name change is necessary because of the possible confusion among the international community between the words “Romani”/”Roma”,  which refers to the Romani ethnic minority and Romanian, which refers to the people from the European country Romania.

The Roma women display signs that read, in Romani chib and Romanian, “I am a Roma”.

Bucharest, Romania. November, 2010.

Love spell scenario

-Akuma that’s opposite of Dark Cupid
-Makes victims fall in love with first person they see
-Oh dear god, mdme bustier and gorilla make a cute couple, kind of random
-Marinette gets hit with the dust/spell before she can transform
-Quickly covers her eyes and Chat takes her to safety
-Ladybug is MIA, so all can do for now is drive the Akuma into hiding
-that means everyone is still under its effects
-Marinette is home. Akuma targets Chat, so she tells him to hideout in her room while he figures out a next course of action
-MARINETTE YOU DIDN’T THINK THIS THROUGH
-Has to wear a blindfold, but honestly as this point, is too frustrated to do much besides pout and tell Chat he’s not the person she wants to fall for
-he laughs good naturedly, but is still worried because without ladybug he can’t do anything
-Marinette playfully shoves him, clumsily letting the blindfold slip
-they both scream, expecting her to fall head over heels for him
-turns out the love spell can’t make you fall in love with someone you’re already in love with
-CUE confusion and internal and external screaming

That Night

I had just come out the shower and was now chilling in my boxers. There I was laying in my bed watching the Justice League DVD on a Saturday night while my room mate was out having fun at the club on this rainy night. In my opinion, this was a better way to spend my night instead of going out in the rain to get sick. I am Derek, a slender light skinned black male with brown eyes. I’m not much of a party enthusiast as most in my age category of 18 are but I am human and my dick was starting to make me aware of that fact as it ascended from slumber. If you haven’t guessed already, I’m a virgin. I lowered the TV volume and just as I was about to give it some attention, there was a text notification sound on my phone .

Me (Derek Towers)

My friend AJ hit me up on whatsapp. Now AJ was an attractive guy with an amazing ass and what I had to guess was a pretty good size dick. I could only imagine as I saw the outline once while we were on the beach. AJ was an easygoing fellow about a year older than myself. We met at my job at the hotel where I was a waiter and he was a lifeguard. He was cool and we got along great but he was ridiculously homophobic and there was no way I was going to let him know that I played for both teams.

After our conversation, I still had my little problem. I opened the tumblr app on my phone and scrolled down looking at sexy guys for hours, occasionally watching some porn video. Eventually, I saw a new story by my favorite author @morrisondauthor​ entitled  “Freak by Night 7: Freaky Sneaky.” His stories are always so sexy that I find myself ejaculating before I get to the end. I get so upset when he takes a while to post his stories because they give me life and take me to a world I could never imagine. For some reason, the context usually gets me hornier than the images he uses. I got to the good part and it made me so close to my climax when my phone notification alarmed me. If you haven’t guessed, it was AJ letting me know he got home safely. He went on to tell me about his night and how he had four rounds of sex with his date in her car and she came all 4 times. I was so jealous, I was trying to come once to satisfy myself and he interrupted me boasting about his extravagant time. Now all I had in my mind were images of his sexy ass f***ing her sexy ass in the car and my vivid imagination made me ten times hornier. I had to get my nut so I told him the truth.

Me: You got your nut now I’m going to work on mine

Him: With Pamela? 😂😂😂 Night. Don’t forget the jergens.

I didn’t dignify him with a response. Instead I went to the living room and sat in the couch with nothing on but my boxer briefs. My dick stuck fully erect through the hole in my boxers and I jacked away once again replaying Morrison’s story in my head imagining it was me coming down the stairs to a sexy surprise. The sound of the thunderstorm outside with sprinkles of rain violently pelleting the window fueled my hormones and I could feel my balls ready to release the seed from their constraints. Suddenly there was a loud crash at my doorstep synonymous with a lightning bolt outside which ignited fear into my heart and caused me to forget that I was horny. Cautiously I approached the door and peered through the peep hole to notice nobody standing in the hallway. Still my curiosity wouldn’t let me rest so I opened the door ready to put my self defense skills to the test if I needed it. Imagine my disappointment when I viewed my roommate, Kevin wet from head to toe lying at our doorstep in the fetal position. He appeared to be highly intoxicated and since he doesn’t have a car, I can only assume that a Good Samaritan literally dropped him at the door. As the epinephrine wore off, I started to realize that I was once again disturbed from achieving my natural high.

Even though I was upset, I couldn’t leave him there like that so I dragged him inside. Like AJ, Kevin was straight, usually requesting that I keep the “gay shit” to myself. Yes, he knew about me. I’ve known him since we were kids because we were neighbors and grew up living in each other’s homes. When I found out that I had a taste for both girls and boys, I was around 13 and Kevin was the only person I told at the time. His reaction to the news could have been better. He called me a faggot and stormed out of my house. We didn’t speak for weeks afterward. Eventually he came to me randomly one day and apologized. I couldn’t forgive him and asked him to leave letting him know just how much he hurt me. He didn’t give up though and proved himself from that day forth that he wanted to be my best friend again. He fought off bullies, walked with me home from school and acted like the friend he was before I told him. I forgave him after a while and we were boys again. He constantly tries to get me to go out and drink with him but like I said before, I really don’t have a taste for it. We got this apartment when we moved to Florida for college and we get along well despite his occasional battles with alcoholism. Even so, it’s never been this bad.Kevin loved the gym and he worked out every weekday evening at 5 and went jogging every morning at 6. He took his physical health very seriously which is why I never understood why he drank alcohol. He also managed to maintain above average grades for his track and field scholarship at UCF.

Kevin Dill

I lifted Kevin off the floor and even though he was rather heavy, got him to the bathtub and removed the wet clothes from his barely responsive body. I haven’t seen him naked since we took baths together as kids but when I saw his naked body I had to step back and admire the marvelous muscular masterpiece. My eyes wandered to his dick which wasn’t even hard yet his uncircumcised attachment was 7 inches long and fatter towards the base. I finally snapped back into reality left to get a glass of warm water and an empty bucket in case he vomited. I ran some warm water in the bathtub and thoroughly bathed him. I couldn’t believe I was cleaning a grown man, but I didn’t want him to go into hypothermia. Not only was he drunk, but he was also wet from the cold rain. He started to gain a reasonable level of consciousness.

“Derek? What are you doing?”

“You’re drunk and cold just relax and drink this.”

I gave him an aspirin and the glass of warm water and watched him take it.

“I’m naked”

“I know”

“Why?”

“You were wet and unconscious”

“You couldn’t let me sleep it off?”

“I’m sorry would you rather get a cold or die from dehydration and hypothermia?”

He sucked his teeth, “you didn’t have to remove my boxers.”

“Hey if it’s wet it comes off.”

“Get out,” he said covering his private area.

“Nope, you could pass out at any minute. Look, I already lifted your heavy ass in here, removed your clothes by myself then took my bare hands and wiped your dirty ass. In fact it was my hands that peeled back your foreskin and cleaned your penis. It’s a little too late for modesty.”

He was speechless so I said, “What’s that on the floor? Pick it up you’re making a mess.”

He looked down, “What? What are you talking about?”

“Your bottom lip, now get out the tub and come dry off”

“Ha Ha…very funny,” he sarcastically mumbled as he stumbled out the bathtub.

I was right there to catch him with a towel and prevent him from falling. I began to dry his body when he smartly remarked, “I can do it myself you know”

I removed my body support and he dropped to the ground barely breaking his fall with his forearms.

“I thought you had it.”

“Help me up”

“Help me up what?”

“Help me up please”

“Help me up please what?”

“D’, I’m not saying that”

“Ok,” I began to leave the room.

“Fine, Please help me up Supreme Overlord Towers”

“No problem.” I helped him up and noticed he had an erection.

“Friend of yours?” I teased.

“Shut up!”

I assisted him to his bedside and helped him slide on his boxers.

“I feel so embarrassed,” he admitted

“Why? It’s just us here, chill.”

“This is not fair. You’ve seen me naked now and I even got hard,” he slapped his face in embarrassment.

“We used to bathe together all the time, washing each other’s backs and laughing at each other’s nakedness. What’s the big deal?”

He couldn’t make eye contact and stayed quiet so after sucking my teeth, I slid off my boxers, threw them to the side and danced around in a circle wagging my dick from left to right.

“Woah!” He exclaimed.

“Now I don’t have on anything. Are you happy now?”

He laughed hysterically, “that’s not what I meant.”

“Go to bed.” I helped him lay down and covered him with a warm blanket.

I turned around to leave but to my surprise, he grabbed my hand, “Please, don’t leave me again.”

“Again? I never left you.”

He burst into tears, “yes you did. When I called you by that word and you got upset with me, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I never wanted to lose my best friend. Those were the hardest months of my life, I never even cried over a girl like that.”

Confused, all I could say was, “This must be the alcohol talking.” I turned to leave again.

“Please!” He shouted.

“Okay, okay, just don’t yell like that again. The neighbors are sleeping.”

“Sleep here tonight.”

“If that would make you feel better, fine, but don’t vomit on me please.” I went to the corner to get my boxers.

“You don’t need those.”

Once again, confused but internally contented. I happily obliged, turned off the light went on the other side of his queen sized bed, pulling the covers over my exposed body.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

The sound of rain pattering on the window echoed in the room and I was falling asleep. Unexpectedly, I felt a warm gentle touch on my dick that slammed the emergency brake of the train to dreamland. My dick was being massaged by none other than my best friend. I silently protested in my head not wanting to disturb the amazing sensation I was feeling which caused me to leak pre-ejaculation fluid. My brain finally gained control and I managed to stop him.

“Wait, what are you doing?”

“Shh. Just let it happen.”

“Now you sound like a rapist. This has to be the alcohol affecting you. You are not in your right frame of mind.” I got up and as I was standing up to leave, he pulled my hand and I landed supine right on the side of him. He lay against me leaning on his side I could see the shadow of his head in front of me and I could feel he was staring at me. Lightning flashed and I saw the look in his eyes that paralyzed me for that moment. I felt the heat radiating from his head increasing in intensity as he slowly approached my face. I felt like Chris from Get Out in the hypnosis scene, helplessly watching this happen through the windows of my eyes. When the eternity passed and he connected with my lips, the curtains closed but I could sense the brightest flashes of lightning outside. I regained control and participated in the best kiss of my life. Opening our eyes and pulling apart met us with nature’s fireworks applauding our performance.

“Wow,” we chorused.

He grabbed my body and brought me into a passionate make out session, rubbing his well toned body against mine allowing me to once again feel it’s shape, this time against my own. He went down to the left side of my neck and started sucking on it while rubbing his hands all over my back down to my bare ass. I hate hickeys but the euphoria was too intense to stop. I felt electricity flowing through my body as he continued. He kissed his way down to my left nipple and I expressed a soft moan. It felt like there was a string directly attached to the pleasure nerves in my dickhead. He continued kissing down my abs until he got to my pubic hairs and he got up. My eyes opened reacting to the sudden pause. We breathed deeply and synchronized.

“I never did anything with a dude before,” he admitted

“I’m still a virgin,” I countered.

“I know.”

I felt my face blush with embarrassment only to be aroused with pleasure at the immediate moist warm sensation that came from the head of my dick. Did he really just put my dick in his mouth? I looked down and he continued down the nine and a half inch solid shaft managing to get half of it in his mouth. That was the most mind blowing feeling in my life.

“You sure you never did this before?”

He chuckled and continued up and down repetitively sending me to a new level of heaven. He paused again and I couldn’t handle any more suspense. I reversed our positions and did exactly as he did to me in the same sequence. I thought my reaction was intense but as I sucked his neck his hands went all over my body and their favorite place was my ass. I worked my way to his nipples and he let out the sexiest deep moan that I couldn’t compare to all my years of watching porn. It send jolts through my body causing me to be extra turned on. I couldn’t take it anymore, I had to know what that dick tasted like. I skipped his abs and went straight to his pubic hairs which like mine were short lavishing in the musk they produced. I licked his dick from the base along the underside to the tip where I licked around the head tasting the pheromones produced. I experimented sticking my tongue in the entrance and he jumped.

“That was intense!” he smiled

I continued taking his head in my throat and he rewarded me with another deep moan. I continued my assault down the shaft attempting to go as far as I could. I made it as far as about 3 inches when ii felt my teeth hit his skin and I pulled back thinking about how much that hurt.

“Easy with the teeth baby”

Baby? If I wasn’t black I’m sure my face would be an apple right now. I tried again, this time opening my mouth as wide as I could and I made it down 5 inches of his eleven before I started to choke and retreat for air. He moaned again and that made me determined to get to the base. I went for it again this time holding my breath and swallowing as I went down fighting hard to resist the urge to cough. I think I made it as far as 9 inches that time but it was as far as I could possibly go. He let out another deep moan lasting longer than any of the predecessors.

“Damn baby no girl ever committed to going that far down.”

I was happy to satisfy him but after that I went up and down taking in only what I could manage, slobbering all over that sexy tool of his. After a few minutes, he pulled my head up and lead me in another intense kiss.

“I want to make love to you baby.” He stared intimately at me.

“How?”

“I want to fuck you.”

“You gotta let me fuck you too”

“No way I’m letting you anywhere near my ass with that thing.” He protested

“And I’m supposed to let you in mine?”

“Yeah but I love you and I want to prove it to you by taking your virginity.”

“I love you too and you can prove your love by letting me fuck you and take your virginity as well”

“I’m not a virgin.”

“Your ass is.”

“You always did have a smart mouth. It’s one of your most attractive qualities.”

“Well, the ball is in your court”

“Ugh….Okay, just go easy on me please.”

“I could say the same.”

“Okay turn over.”

“Umm no. We need to do a couple things to prepare first”

“We? Things like what?”

“Yes we! Come on, I’ll show you”

I went in my bedroom and grabbed my fleet. It’s a good thing I got two new bottles just in case a miracle happened. Didn’t think I’d get to use them so soon. I researched online how to prepare a long time ago and even practiced a couple of times. I taught Kevin what to do and after a while we were ready. We returned to his bedroom and turned his desk lamp on dimly. The patter of the rain was the only sound for a brief moment.

“That felt wierd,” he complained.

“Well there’s one more step we have to take,” I handed him the tube of lube.

“Hold on no need to rush just yet, I want to taste that ass first,” He kissed me intently then moved both of my legs up and attacking my asshole like it was his last meal. I don’t know which was better, that blowjob or the other level he was sending me to while he ate me. I felt his tongue go places that I didn’t know anything could. All of a sudden, I had this epileptic episode I couldn’t control. I was so weak after he finally finished with me. He grabbed the lube and inserted a finger inside my hole to open me up. He worked his second finger in there. and was about to enter.

“You better go up to 4 fingers, that thing is huge”

The third finger hurt like pins and needles. and the fourth was even worse. I really thought I was bleeding. He waited until I was comfortable, somehow managing to remain hard during the entire exercise. I guess he was as horny as I was. He entered me in the missionary position and I felt a sudden sharp pain as he passed my sphincter that sent kilojoules of electricity through my body. I cried and wanted to stop but he held me down and comforted me,

“Relax baby, just relax.”

I took slow deep breaths until the pain eased and he did not move. He waited until I was comfortable before he continued penetrating me at a steady pace. He didn’t go all the way in but he started a slow rhythm with about three inches of his massive meat. He only went further when I was in agreement. I stopped the rhythm and pushed him on his back without severing our connection. Gently I lowered myself onto his rod taking inch by inch until to my surprise, I fit the whole thing in there. I was so proud I almost didn’t notice the euphoric look on Kevin’s face.

“Damn baby, you sexy as f***,” he complimented.

I began a steady rhythm on him and I could feel him hitting my spot every time. Our session went on for a while. We went in every position we could imagine possible until he had me on my belly leaning against the edge of the bed drilling me.

“Hold on baby, you’re going to make me come,” I warned.

“That’s the plan baby,” he smirked.

I realized what he was trying to do and used every will power I had to stop myself from coming and resist him, ending that part of our session.

“You think you’re slick. I’m f***ing your ass tonight.” I retaliated.

He had a look of disappointment on his face but he lie back, removed his condom and succumbed to my wishes. He lie on his back rolling his eyes and pulled his leg up to reveal the prettiest pink spot I’ve ever seen in my life (only one I saw in person but it didn’t compare to anything in porn). I had to treat something so precious with the utmost care. I gently licked it for a few minutes before I let my tongue explore every delicious crevice of his ass it could reach. I imagine his ass would taste like ass but his was surprisingly sweet. I stuck my tongue inside and was shocked when I heard a deep moan escape his lips. I guess he was enjoying this as much as I was. I continued until I tasted something extra sweet and when I looked at it, it was a white fluid. I think he came from his ass. Damn I made him cream from eating him. I couldn’t believe it. His ass was moister than my tongue and I tasted as much as I could before grabbing the bottle of lube. I didn’t think I’d need it but I did not want to hurt him nor did I want him to chicken out. I inserted 2 of my fingers and they went in without a struggle. I had to fight with the third and fourth because his ass had a constant death grip on them. I positioned myself for entry and took it slow with him, exercising as much care as he did me. Like myself, he seemed to experience discomfort with the infiltration of the head. So I repeated the process and let him get used to it. After a while, he told me to go ahead. I started a slow rhythm  and carefully eased inch by inch into him until i was working 5 inches inside him. Without warning, he reversed the situation and put himself on top like I did. He started riding me. I was speechless but it felt so good when he slammed all the way down onto my dick taking all of it. He looked so sexy, I watched as his pecks vibrated and his ass jiggled moving up and down on me. He was so sexy I wanted to cry at the beauty I was beholding. His mouth was wide open and his eyes closed with his head tilted back moaning. He was enjoying this as much as I was. Once again we had another session with multiple positions until I was backshotting him. He creamed on my dick again throughout the experience. It felt so good, I knew I would climax soon.  He tried to run but I managed to pull him back every time. He said it was too intense and he couldn’t take much more, begging me to cum.

“What’s my name?”

“Derek”

“Wrong!” I violently pounded him.

“What’s my name?”

“I don’t know.” He cried.

“Yea you do,” I pounded harder, “what’s my name?”

“Supreme (moan) Overlord (moan) Towers,” he cried out in pleasure. With those words, 2 weeks of tension building erupted into the condom flooding it with life fluid. I came for a minute straight. I didn’t even know that was possible. The condom had the most cum I’ve ever seen in my life inside and I have know idea how all that fit in there. I looked down to see that Kevin came too. His sheets were soaked in his liquid release. There was so much I was sure he produced more than I did. We struggled to catch our breaths for bout five minutes. It was still raining and we took a shower together and had another make out session. We dried off and went to my room in our birthday suits. He spooned me and we had a long intense discussion even though it was now 3 in the morning.

“I wanted to do that for a long time,” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid.”

“Of what? I’m your best friend.”

“I don’t know. I panicked that day you told me and the reason I freaked out is because I didn’t know how to react. I developed feelings for you and didn’t know how to express myself.”

“All these years and you wait until now to tell me. So what now?”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..


Disclaimer: Persons in the images used are not necessarily as the story describes do not reflect their character or sexuality. They are a mere depiction of each character’s features. However if there is a problem, please write me and they will be replaced by similar entities

© I. Black 2017

3

Donald Trump made up a terror attack in Sweden. Sweden replies, “What are you talking about?”

Last Week Tonight host John Oliver was baffled by the latest news cycle surrounding President Donald Trump. “Trump dominates the news cycle the way a fart dominates the interior of a Volkswagen Beetle,” Oliver said. “There is simply no escape from him.”

The latest example came when Trump triggered minor international confusion over the weekend when, at a Saturday rally, he seemed to suggest there had been some sort of attack in Sweden: “We’ve got to keep our country safe. … You look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden? Who would believe this? Sweden. They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible.”

This confused everyone, including Sweden. There was no major attack in Sweden on Friday, as Trump implied. The confusion eventually led Trump to clarify that he was talking about crime and immigrants generally in Sweden, based on a report from Fox News. And this isn’t even the first time something like this has happened; Trump’s team has gotten into trouble repeatedly over making up fake terror attacks, like the nonexistent “Bowling Green massacre.”

“Here’s where we’re at right now,” Oliver said. “Trump can dominate the news merely by referencing something that didn’t happen in Sweden.”

The story, however, serves as a warning to other countries. Oliver explained, “Just a quick message to all other countries on Earth: In the future, you’re going to find yourself wanting to ask, ‘What is your president talking about?’ a great deal. And the answer is almost always going to be, ‘We have no fucking idea.’”

a post on some shit i’ve seen

“I have a male character, but they’re very feminine so I think they might be a trans woman.”

This is not how being trans works. Being gender non-conforming =/= trans. Here is a list of reasons why this is sexist and transphobic.

  • It implies that men and women must behave a certain way and that anyone who does not adhere to these gender roles must be a different gender.
  • It implies that gender non-conforming trans people do not exist.
  • It negates sex dyshoria.
  • It enforces gender roles.
  • It enforces stereotypes and misconceptions trans people have been fighting against for a long time.

Your male character can be feminine without being trans. They are still a man.

“It’s offensive to describe trans people as being ‘born in the wrong body’.”

No, it’s not.

This is a narrative that many trans people use because it is an easy and succinct way to describe sex dysphoria. Dysphoria is more complicated than this, but this narrative is not offensive.

Stop silencing dysphoric people. Your character can describe themselves like this if they so choose to.

“I have a male character, but I picture him as having little body hair and wide hips, so I think I might make him a trans man–”

This is offensive. If you make a character trans because they posses physical characteristics that are seen as “undesirable” or “not typical” on people of their sex, then you are sexist and transphobic. 

Cis men can have wide hips and little body hair. Trans men can have narrow hips and a strong jaw. Cis women can have lots of body hair and a deep voice. Trans women can be short and curvy.

“My character is androgynous and it’s difficult to tell their gender so I’m making them non binary.”

Okay…

  • By claiming that non binary people are always androgynous appearing, you are creating a new set of gender roles and expectations while simultaneously doing everything in the first thing I talked about.
  • “Non binary” and “gender non-conforming” are not synonyms, but this doesn’t mean non binary people can’t be/aren’t gender non-conforming.

“Cis people are boring so my characters are all trans.”

This is the wrong mindset when talking about representation for trans people and when writing trans characters. When you equate “cis” to “boring” and “trans” to “cool” and “interesting,”, you are fetishizing and dehumanizing trans people. 

We are not trendy accessories that will make your story better simply by being there.

BTW, boring trans people exist. Because, you know, we’re people and not this year’s most popular Christmas gift.

“Reveal that your character is trans by showing their scars/body.”

Allies and transphobes alike have a fascination with the bodies of trans people. It has gotten to the point where “allies” spread private information about the medical lives of trans people to the general public. This has turned into a “how to spot a trans person” game.

Your characters do not need to be half-naked to show that they are trans.

“Dysphoria is self-loathing and can end up bringing too much angst to your story.”

Dysphoria is not self-loathing. This is a huge misconception. Dysphoria is a disconnect between someone’s brain and their physical sex.

When people experience sex dysphoria, their sex characteristics feel foreign. It is not simply “hating your body.” That narrative should not be used in fiction. Ever. It is false. Body positive feminists (both lib and rad) use it to vilify sex dysphoric people.

Do not ignore dysphoria. A lot of people don’t know what it actually is and confuse it for internalized misogyny. Dysphoria needs to be a part of fiction featuring trans characters so that we can work to end the misconceptions about it.

Also, do not “cure” your character’s dypshoria with love or romance or sex or self-acceptance. That’s not how it works.

Virgo - Fragile Bird 

“If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” - Brenne Browne 

An emphasised focus of the Virgo’s journey is the purification process. Virgo is the sign of cleansing and detoxing. A proportionate part of the Virgo nature relentlessly and tirelessly attempts to erode their sense of shame. The ego finished construction in Leo, and it certainly wasn’t built to last. It faces its first conflict in Virgo. After the glare and applause of Leo the star was discarded. And Virgo is suddenly overwrought with guilt, like the lights have gone out and the whole time they didn’t hear anyone suffering. Now it seems to be all that the Virgo can hear. It becomes important for Virgo to develop awareness of the world beyond the ‘only me seeing eye’ produced in Leo. Instead of seeking the acclaim of centre stage, the individual takes a step back and retreats to the back of the show. Virgo can feel so consumed with shame and disgrace that she decides out of sight is out of mind, and attempt to remain invisible as possible. Virgo is a sign associated with responsibility, self discipline, and self regulation. The Virgo can feel intense and disproportionate shame for the most mundane of human activities like eating, sleeping in, or accidentally spilling something. There is an ego fighting wildly in Virgo, aware of its inevitable departure. And it resides with the heart and hands of a saint whose active will is pure altruism and entirely void of ego. It can create the confusing internal conflict confronted by Virgo as they endure the ego’s cracking whip and the heart’s seemingly inherent sense of strain and disgrace, desiring only to recognise and assist people that they feel deserve the rest and rectitude, that being anybody but themselves. The blinding image of perfectionism conceived by the Virgo mind flashes continuously, hauntingly, and only increases the sense of inadequacy and inferiority. 

Virgo is being punished by the ego. Leo was already fatally wounded by her ego. In Leo the ego was crowned and grandiosity balloons into disproportion. It toyed with Leo by pumping her full of praise and compliments, then it suddenly switches off the bright lights and taunts its victim cruelly. Leo is at the ego’s its hostage and it wants to be recognised and appraised. It tells Leo she will be nothing without it. In Virgo, it’s the opposite assault occurring. The ego desires to dissolve any semblance of self worth and value until she becomes a shell of herself, trapped in the ego’s unrealistic demands and feeling to worthless to even put up a fight. The Virgo can undergo this punishment because it’s her obligation to begin the corroding process, the battle that she will begin and Scorpio will finish. She must recognise, understand, and integrate the conditions and needs of other people into their own personal experience. Despite all of this, the Virgo is also being reprimanded by the inner saint for the acknowledging the ego at all, and her supposed selfishness and self gratifying behaviours. Yes, even the divinely saint inside Virgo is a perfectionist. This is why the Virgo can become very self restricting and critical. She can view herself as contaminated or poison and sense body aches, pains, and diseases that don’t exist. Perceiving herself as inherently defiled, the individual feels alien and revolted in her own body. She can force herself through destructive conditions like hardline routine, famine, compulsive exercise, exhausting work scheduling, extremely high goals in schooling, basically wherever she can direct obsessive and anxious energy into the pursuit of unattainable images. Through all of this, Virgos will drop everything in a moment to help somebody in need. And sometimes the greatest act of service she could do for us would be taking a moment for herself to reflect on the qualities that endear and delight loved ones. The qualities like wit, proficiency, reliability, and intelligence and quirkiness that make her a real saint. She needs to realise that without her flaws she would cease to exist at all. In recognising her greatness she serves humanity. 

-C.

anonymous asked:

Hi. What planets in 12th house do you consider being fluid and planets more hard to deal with ? Thank you

This is a very deep and profound topic to discuss…the nature of the 12th house is so grand that the human mind can’t even begin to understand it’s lack of boundaries…in the 12th house there is no “best” or “worst” expression of any of these planets….Any of the planets here can be used for the good of all mankind or for the destruction and ending of the self….They all have equal potential in their own ways….

Venus, Jupiter, Neptune all have an ability to heal on a great lever due to their compassionate nature of being linked to the 12th house.  Neptune is the higher octave of Venus and it rules over the 12th house naturally.  Neptune is of course naturally at home in the 12th and really stresses the good and the bad. Jupiter is anciently ruled by Pisces which is at home in the 12th due to it’s link to spirituality, religion and faith in general.

Sun, Moon, Mercury, Mars, Uranus and Pluto tend to struggle more, especially the inner planets.  If you ever wondered how a 12th house planet manifests just think of the sign that rules that planet…..those are the traits that are confused and lost in the 12th house and struggle to come outward in the behavior.

Sun in 12 for instance is like a virgo ascendant with leo in 12….Struggles with having fun, confused about the sense of self.  In a sense it causes the person to work, work, work but for what reason it feels always lost to them.  Moon in 12 is like Like a Leo ascendant with cancer in 12…Troubles showing the emotions outward, recognizing their importance and place….Leo is king and needs to stand tall no matter what over the kingdom…..Mercury in 12 is like having either a Cancer Ascendant or Libra Ascendant.  In terms of cancer ascendant the thoughts are reserved for the end of the day when they have nurtured everyone else.  In similarity to libra ascendant, taking care of the self is reserved for alone time after they are done mingling out in the world and experiencing life through others.

Mars in 12….is like a taurus ascendant.  Anger is confusing, aggression is withheld internally.  Sometimes there is abuse in life in the early years that restricts the vital energy from flowing outward.  Uranus in 12 is like Pisces Ascendant.  Confusion and struggles with the individuality lead to a sense of dissolving with everything.  The subconscious here is riddled with the need to change or give the individuality away towards the benefit of all.  This is why pisces ascendant has a chameleon like appearance.  

Saturn in 12 is a bit more confusing as it outs like a pisces ascendant too. There is a larger overwhelming guilt complex floating around the subconscious where a person has trouble showing their ambitious and focused sides in life. You can see it act out like both capricorn and aquarius in 12; as it also has a bit of the flavoring of uranus in 12.  There is a desire to help underprivileged people due to feeling the guilt of the suffering of the masses;  Afterall classically Saturn classically rules over the impoverished (depressed) masses.  Finally pluto in 12….Quite a tough one.  Like a Sagittarius Ascendant, pluto in 12 shows traits of scorpio in 12.  The willful and intense side is internalized, sometimes confusing.  The need to understand the self and others is given way to the need for freedom and not being held back by the thought of being tied down (by the process of death and intimacy.)

The trick for the planets that struggle in the 12th house listed above is to realize their true potential by connecting with the source.  By researching astrology you see the confusion is only a shield created by the fog of neptune in the 12th house.  Former renowned psychic Edward Cayce shared that all of the planets have souls….by getting in touch with the soul traits of these hidden planets and understanding them we can give them to the greater good of everyone. 

Believe it or not the 12th house is without a doubt the most blessed gift in the entire horoscope…the only problem is you have to see past your own suffering and ego and merge with the ideas suffering is necessary for a great connection to everything.  Since the 12th house is the last house below the horizon before you were born, the souls of these planets were the last ones you took in with you before you were born.  You were given a gift by the universe to be something greater then the physical plane has to offer…you just have to grow into the spiritual mold and understand this through time.

One must remember the 12th house teaches us the most important lessons of all.  Life is not just us, it is everyone and everything.  Letting go of self and ego and understanding all of the struggles on the physical plane are just that…struggles and temporary.

How it must have gone...
  • Shiro: Alright Keith, you're next. What animal would you want in the cryo-pod with you?
  • Keith: A hippo
  • Everyone: ...
  • Shiro: What?
  • Keith: A hippo?
  • Hunk: Why?
  • Keith: Well, they're semi-aquatic, right? And big and strong. And have you seen their mouths?
  • Shiro: Yeah, but... A hippo? That doesn't exactly seem like your style.
  • Keith: Exactly. We'd compliment each other in a fight. Brute strength matched with speed.
  • Pidge: And you don't see any problems with this scenario? None?
  • Keith: No. Why?
  • Lance: *slapping his hand over Pidge's mouth* Nothing. Absolutely nothing! Shiro, write down his answer!
  • Keith: *is confused*
  • Lance: *is internally laughing his head off*

Me: -looking into reading the Mortal Instrument books-

Alec in the books: Magnus is a slut! Magnus is a big fat bisexual slut who fucks everything that moves!

Me: hwaht the fuck ?

For those with a large combination of polar opposite influence (like Libra Sun Aries Moon), I’d be lying if I said you won’t have a lot of internal conflict in life.  But with maturity and conscientious decision making you could theoretically take on both traits of the polar opposites quickly. For those with polar opposite Sun and Moon think of it in terms of ego fighting with emotions. Those with polar opposite Sun and Rising will have the way they view the world and their outer self battle with their basic personality and core. With Moon + Rising polar opposite this is intensified with outer self battling against inner self. The Moon is your inner self and emotions. Sun, Moon, and Rising polar opposite influences create frustrating energy but in moments of self-reflection there can be understanding. Those with incompatible Sun,Moon, or Rising face more confusing internal conflicts and the struggle can be relentless.

3

A cool breeze blew through the city, making you cross your arms a bit to stay warm. The weather was changing from Summer to Fall and there you were, cold and wondering where the time had gone. By the time you got back to the apartment, you were eager to change into a long sleeve and chat with your uncle about buying school supplies.

As you entered the room, you could already hear your uncle’s voice. You assumed that he was on the phone, but your assumption proved itself wrong when you heard a second voice clearly in the living room. You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to place the voice. It sounded awfully familiar.

The door closing attracted your uncle’s attention. “Y/N? Is that you?” He called. Your uncle, since he worked for Tony Stark, knew his job might attract a few enemies of Stark so he was more cautious than other guardians. You didn’t mind, though.

You walked to the living room and peaked your head in. “Yeah, it’s just me,” you replied. He was sitting in his usual seat while the owner of the familiar voice sat on the couch. There were papers spread across the coffee table, mostly concerning your uncle’s job. When you actually saw the boy, you were shocked to see Peter Parker. He was in a couple of your classes. Why was he talking to your uncle about his job?

“Y/N, this is Peter Parker,” your uncle mentioned, noticing your confusion, “He’s the newest intern at Stark Industries. This is my niece, Y/N Y/L/N.” The name sparked a memory in Peter’s memory. He’s never met you before, but he recalled an acquaintance talking about you.

Nate wasn’t his friend. He was a friend of a friend and, while Peter was hanging out with his friend, he talked about you and how attractive you were. He even had plans to ask you out, solely because of your appearance. Peter wasn’t particularly interested in the conversation and shifted it to another.

Looking at you, Peter could see what Nate was talking about. He wondered if he ever actually asked you to be his. Dismissing the thought, Peter stood up and shook your hand. “It’s nice to properly meet you, Y/N,” he stated politely.

You shook his hand with only a smile. His eyes were amazing, you noticed as his glance met yours. There was never a reason to look into his eyes, but you were worried that you wouldn’t be able to look away. You forced yourself to before turning to your uncle. “I’m going to be in my room, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” he stated, gesturing to the papers on the table, “Peter and I were just talking about work. Dinner will get here soon.” Your uncle turned to Peter. “That reminds me. Peter, would you like to stay for dinner? We’re going to have more than we can eat.”

Nodding, Peter smiled graciously. “That sounds nice. As long as it’s not too much trouble.” With that, you went to your room, trying to forget about his eyes. They were brown, not particularly special. It was the kindness that was held in them. Peter seemed like a genuine person, which was a rarity those days.

Since you were still slightly chilly, you threw on your Midtown sweatshirt and picked up a book that you were required to read that summer. School was starting in a few weeks and you heard that you’d be tested on the book, so you were reading it again. In about fifteen minutes, your uncle was calling you down for dinner.

As much as you wished you could say that you and Peter connected during the dinner, the reality was that he was too invested with his conversation about his internship. You don’t know if he was just very passionate about his job at Stark Industries or if he was self centered, but, because of the conversation topic, you rarely talked during the dinner. You didn’t have much to say about their shared workplace, even if you had become acquainted with the Tony Stark because of your uncle.

Despite the poor first impression, you found yourself subconsciously looking for Peter in the hallways once school started. He didn’t share as many classes with you as he had last year so you only caught fleeting glances in the hallway from time to time. You had no idea what about Peter Parker had interested you, but you knew you were intrigued. 

By the time Homecoming was coming up, you were still as infatuated with Peter as you were when you first met him. Michelle found it the tiniest pathetic after hearing you talk about what little interactions you’ve had with him. She convinced you that he wouldn’t be the person you had built him up to be. It made sense, since you’ve only talked to him once. So you were planning on attending Homecoming with your friends, instead of practically pining over Peter Parker.

During the dance, you were with Liz Allan, a senior who didn’t actually know about your kind of feelings, when she spotted a familiar person from the Mathletes team. “Peter!” she greeted with her dazzling smile. He turned around and you felt yourself grow nervous when you saw his eyes again. You could feel yourself almost getting lost in them before you realized that they were focused on Liz. She turned to you and brought you next to her. “This is Y/N. She and I went to the same elementary school.”

“Hello, Y/N,” he replied politely, “I’m Peter.” Your heart dropped a bit, but you refused to acknowledge it.

Hiding your disappointment with laughter, you mentioned, “I believe I’ve met you before.” His eyes held confusion before recognition flooded his features. Peter cringed a bit while closing his eyes at his own ineptness. He opened his eyes slightly and flashed an apologetic smile. You swallowed your true thought and smiled back. “It’s fine. I wasn’t the best hostess that night.”

“No,” Peter corrected, “I was way too excited to talk with your uncle. It probably made you bored.” He laughed a bit. “Tell me. Do you tend to forgive bumbling idiots?”

“I can make an exception this once,” you responded, before letting your feelings overcome your judgement, “It would be easier if the bumbling idiot would like to dance.” Liz looked between the two with excitement in her eyes before excusing herself and running to your friends to see what they had to say about it. 

Peter smirked to himself for a second before nodding. “I’m not promising I’m any good,” he added as the two of you walked unto the dance floor.

What you had hoped for was some sort of closure. Something about Peter Parker that made him seem less appealing in your eyes. Instead, you spent the next twenty minutes dancing horribly together and talking. You actually got along with him rather well, which was not what you wanted, but you didn’t really mind at the moment.

Something on his wrist flashed, making him look down at the watch. His eyes seemed tense, but when he looked back up, he remembered where he was and who he was with. Peter casually excused himself with the reason that his aunt needed him. You only nodded and thanked him for the dancing. He didn’t ask for your number or anyway to contact you at all, which left you dejected. Nevertheless, you spent the rest of your night laughing and having a good time with your friends, who were teasing you for a bit about Peter before letting off.

A few days had passed since Homecoming and Peter was actually experiencing some peace in his life, despite his nightly escapades as Spiderman. During lunch on Monday, Ned decided to bring up Liz Allan. “Did anything happen at Homecoming?” he asked, knowing how much Peter liked Liz.

He shrugged. “No.”

“And you don’t seem very upset,” Ned remarked, utterly confused.

“I don’t know. I guess I just don’t see myself with her,” Peter admitted before stating what had been plaguing his mind since the dance, “You know, Y/N Y/L/N is pretty. Easy to talk to, as well.” He glanced around the cafeteria before he spotted you among your friends. “I know Nate ‘really likes her’,” Peter added sarcastically, “But he’s had months to ask her out and if he really liked her, he would have done it already.” Nate doesn’t have you in his thoughts constantly, though. Peter realized that he was staring and quickly looked away.

Ned nodded thoughtfully. Peter was right, since Nate was talking about you last spring, but he did nothing about it. “Well, do you have her number?”

“No, but I can just go ask-” He looked up to see the previously full table empty. You were no where in sight, but Peter wasn’t particularly distraught. He would just ask the next time he saw you.

As the week went by, you had concluded that since Peter had not made any attempt to contact you, despite knowing Liz and Michelle, he was not interested. It was fine, if not a little disheartening. You hadn’t really known him. He had probably forgotten you again. By Saturday, you found yourself at Stark Industries, waiting for your uncle. You weren’t paying much attention so you were surprised when you heard a familiar voice. “Hello, Y/N,” Peter, who was looking slightly out of breath for some reason, greeted. “I just saw your uncle. He should be right out.” 

You nodded. “Thanks.” The brief one-worded response probably hinted to your disappointment more than you attended it to.

To your surprise, he took a seat next to you in the waiting area and smiled nervously. “Your uncle actually invited me over again,” he mention in what he hoped was a casual tone. “Maybe you can give me your phone number so we can plan a day before dinner?”

His eyes held such hope in them, making them even more beautiful in your mind. You knew that you were absolutely done for. Maybe it was dumb to hold such high expectations for someone, but Peter seemed practically flawless to you. Maybe your feelings somehow overtook your judgement again when you replied, “That sounds like a good idea.” Seconds after you gave him your phone number, your uncle strolled out of the elevator and spotted the two of you. He smiled at Peter before the two of you started to head home.

Before you shut your eyes, a text, the first of many, appeared on your screen. Goodnight - Peter Parker.