Our members (Super Junior) keep telling me “Stop it already, stop it! we understand, but stop it already, you got the concept wrong” but guys, this isn’t my concept… I really like giraffes. I get so many gifts related to giraffes. It’s confusing if my room is a room of a singer or a zoo, ranging from dolls, spoons, cups… I have so many stuff related to giraffes. You can stop sending me presents.
Look at this Craigslist add I just found on the Bham site. I have a few questions for this person, whoever they are. How many times have you rented a Giraffe? How many times has someone tried to rent you a zebra? Is that really a rip-off? Why exactly do you need a giraffe and why would a zebra not work?
I have hit a new level of fluffy ridiculousness, but it seems to be one of the fandom's favorite headcanons...so I present to you - Nygmobblepot at the zoo (I'm so so sorry I'm such a sap)
“First stop on the agenda today?” Oswald asked over breakfast, drinking in the sight of Ed moistening his fingers to flip through a large stack of papers.
“Only one stop today, actually,” Ed replied, handing Oswald one of the reports, “There is a zoo opening up on 55th and Chestnut. The press is very excited to have the mayor there for the Grand Opening.”
“A zoo?” Oswald queried, his voice high with incredulity, “Why would someone open a zoo in Gotham? If you want to see animals here, just take a trip downtown.”
“Your guess is as good as mine,” Ed chuckled, “But it might be an enjoyable day.”
Oswald merely muttered differentially.
As morning turned to afternoon, the pair arrived at the newly minted structure amid a dizzying array of camera flashes and the cacophonous cries of the press trying to get a comment from the mayor. Oswald allowed them their pictures and smiled and waved in response, but after a moment he glanced in Ed’s direction, all the instruction his Chief of Staff needed. At once, Ed stepped in to shelter the smaller man with his tall frame, shielding Oswald from view and ushering him inside. Oswald couldn’t help but smile. It was one of those many moments that had populated his life since he and Ed had become a couple - simple moments that became charged with a secret heat they tried so desperately to hide from the prying eyes of the public.
“Vultures.” Oswald scoffed once he and Ed were safely inside.
“Unfortunately, there are more vultures in here, and not just the ones behind the glass in the aviary,” Ed grinned, “I’ve set up an interview with Channel Eleven.”
“Fabulous," Oswald sighed sarcastically, before peering around the large space, "Where exactly is this interview?”
“Let me see…” Ed consulted his schedule, “Ah yes. I set it up to be in the arctic room.”
“The arctic room?” Oswald repeated, setting his tongue in his cheek.
“And nothing seemed off to you about that plan at all?”
Ed wrenched open the door leading to said room and took a glance around, his mouth dropping open at once.
“Oh, I understand now,” he responded as Oswald levelled him with a glare, “Oh dear.”
For all his brilliance and careful planning, it clearly had not occurred to Edward Nygma that this particular zoo may have penguins, nor that it might create some uncomfortable parallels to have Oswald doing his interview in front of them.
“I am so sorry, Oswald, I’m an idiot. I didn’t even-” Ed began, but Oswald merely held a hand up to stop him midsentence.
“We’ll talk about it later,” he said through gritted teeth and entered the cold space.
For the entire interview, Oswald forced a smile and answered the media’s questions with as much patience as possible while the penguins in the display behind him chattered and Ed shuffled nervously. It was easily the most awkward interview Oswald had ever done and as he spoke, he could feel his lips curling into an uncomfortable, annoyed sneer.
When at last the interview ended and he had shaken hands with the board of directors responsible for the zoo and the zookeeper and stood for various photo ops, Oswald was free to escape to the quite of a bench in one of the zoo’s many covered outdoor promenades. He sat there for a while in silence, tapping his good leg in irritated thought. After several minutes, Ed arrived and sat on the other end of the bench awkwardly, something clutched gingerly in his fist. A beat passed during which neither man looked at each other, then Ed relinquished the item in his hand, setting it in the space between himself and Oswald and giving it a push forward. Oswald looked down to find the object in question was some sort of small rock.
“What’s this?” he asked listlessly.
“A pebble…” Ed said, looking straight ahead, “Penguins show their love by presenting their mates with them.”
Oswald couldn’t help but smile in spite of himself, reaching down to take the rock in his gloved hand.
“You’re an idiot…" he said, glancing over at Ed, "But you’re MY idiot, and that’s all that matters.”
Ed sighed in relief and returned the smile as Oswald pocketed the offering. He glanced around to make sure they were well and truly alone before planting a quick kiss on the mayor’s lips.
“I know. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you…” he whispered.
“It’s alright…” Oswald replied, sliding closer to Ed and patting his leg, “I just need to learn how to reconcile all these new parts of myself together, that’s all. I can be Penguin the king of the underworld and Mayor Oswald Cobblepot all at once. I can be anything as long as I’m with you. You’re forgiven.”
They sat like that for a moment, both men smiling in bliss, before Oswald suddenly got to his feet.
“Now come on, we have the rest of the afternoon if you wanted to take a look around,” he said, “I personally would like to go see where they house the giraffes.”
Ed got to his feet as well, dusting off his jacket with an air of confusion, “The giraffes? Why?”
“No reason…” Oswald said with a grin, glancing up at the taller man as they walked off.