confused companion

We are trying to rescue a hostage taken by Goblins. 

Elven Wizard OOC: I cast Light on a crossbow bolt and fire it into the cave so we can see. [rolls a nat 1]
DM: You know, I wasn’t even gonna make you roll for that. But, since you did… well, the bolt goes wide. You hear a pained screech and a thud as the passing bird you just speared hits the ground. 
Elven Wizard OOC: I pick up the bird and put it in my pack.
It’s a bloody, mangled-
Elven Wizard OOC
: I pick up. The bird. And I put it in my pack.
DM: …its blood soaks through your belongings.


Elven Cleric OOC: I’m going to try and see if the Goblin leader intends to keep his word [rolls a nat 1]
DM: You suddenly realize that the one you have been staring at isn’t even the one your party is talking to. Your companions seem confused by your intent stare at a random Goblin. Said Goblin picks its nose.
Half-Orc Monk OOC: I try to intimidate the guy we are actually talking to. I pull a scary orc face and snarl at him to surrender in a matching voice! [rolls a nat 1]
DM: You grimace like you shat yourself and your voice breaks. He is not impressed.

A Nautical Serial Killer

“Agent Gibbs!” You can hear the aid trying to get his attention from across the bullpen. Probably trying to warn him of your presence before he gets to his desk where you’ve been waiting for nearly an hour. Hotch is not going to be happy. “Agent Gibbs!” He’s still talking to the brunette man whose not only keeping up with the older man’s quick gait but taking notes at the same time. Agent Gibbs finally glances up and seeing you at his desk stops in his tracks.
“Agent Miller?”
“Yes sir?” The aid says sounding nervous.
“Who is this?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you sir. She’s FBI.”
“Thank you Agent Miller. I can handle this from here.” You say with a smile. “Agent Gibbs, I’m SSA Leah Snow with the BAU.” His companion looks confused. “Supervisory Special Agent, with the Behavioral Analysis Unit. FBI.” You reach out a hand which Gibbs looks pointedly at but doesn’t shake.
“I know what your letters meant.”
“I was clarifying for him Agent Gibbs.” You give him a small smile as you gesture to the other man.
“Agent Anthony DiNozzo.” He shoots you a flirty smile.
“Engaged Agent.” You hold up your left hand showing off the ring Hotch had given you.
“What can I do for you SSA Snow?” Agent Gibbs asks sounding bored.
“BAU thinks you have a serial killer and we want to help.”
“No thanks.”
“Agent Gibbs, we are the most qualified in the FBI to step in on this case and Unit Chief SSA Hotchner doesn’t want to take over. He wants to join forces.”
“Why should we?”
“Because we have a serial killer.”
“Two murders isn’t a serial killer.” Agent DiNozzo says with a small smirk.
“You’re right. But four is.”
“We only have two.” A third man says as he walks up. “Who’s this?”
“SSA Leah Snow, FBI. There have been four murders, two civilians in Delaware.” Your phone rings and pulling it from your pocket you see that it’s Hotch. “Sorry excuse me.” You answer the phone, “Yea?”
“We’ve got another body.”
“Understood. ETA?”
“See you then.” You hang up and look at Agent Gibbs. “Make that five victims.”

You know, one of the first things people usually talk about in the spirit work/companion community is how long they’ve been working with spirits but like. I genuinely have no clue… On one hand, the spirits who I am currently with who have been with me longest I’ve known for about a year and a half, but like… Once I discovered the community I realized “oh woah, all those experiences I had when I was younger probably weren’t as imaginary as I thought back then” because like. I know when I was little I was afraid of the dark, so I consciously made the decision to make “imaginary friends” of the things that scared me about the dark to protect me while I slept (I know there was a ghost, a monster, a vampire, and a mosquito, but I con’t remember if there were more) and they were pretty basic, but given how eventually I wasn’t “controlling” them or imagining everything they did anymore, those… probably could be classified as servitors. 

And when I was a bit older, I stg I was a pop-culture warrior cats pagan. And I would talk to all my favorite characters and they would respond and I always dismissed it as me having an overactive imagination but… it’s so similar to what I’m doing with my spirit family now. 

And I barely remember her, but I had another “imaginary friend” who was a unicorn, but no memory of creating her, she just showed up, and eventually she left and I couldn’t just imagine her back and I was super sad. And another “imaginary friend” named Marvelous that I don’t remember at all, I only know about him because my mother told me and I just???

How much of this was actually real? How much more am I forgetting about because I thought it was “just my imagination?” How long have I been part of this practice without knowing what I was doing?????

For Sale: The Wanderer 🔫

SO daddy let someone pay for a car with magic gun- as in he let complete stranger, trade a magical magnum, for a usable vehicle, because he thought I’d want this thing.  

Whenever you take it out of it’s holster it plays The Wanderer and it’s the most annoying piece of shit in the world. I haven’t got a clue how the music emanates from of the weapon. It seems like the gun itself radiates the sound when it’s unholstered and continues playin’ it as long as you keep it out, and it repeats. 

I’m sellin’ the gun for 40 dollars or one gold bar. If you want the holster it’s 300 dollars or three gold bars.  Picture is under the read more ↓↓↓↓↓

Keep reading


Elf Egg Daddy shushes Human Mage Mommy and shit goes bad.

Don’t worry, Varian totally succeeded and landed unscathed in a pile of fluffy snow, just in time to pop out and stop Solas from strangling the Human Mage.

Varric was then yelled at by Solas about ‘not controlling his wife’. Everyone was confused.

Also notice, party companion Chelle is very different from Inquisitor Chelle, in the sense that she simply doesn’t give a fuck.

Based on @coffeependulum Faust Hawke comic.

When confusion’s my companion and despair holds me for ransom, I will feel no fear. I know that You are near. When I’m caught deep in the valley, with chaos for my company, I’ll find my comfort here. ‘Cause I know that You are near.
—  Shoulders // for KING & COUNTRY

Rose Tyler: Normal girl, yet strong and kind and unique. Has extraordinary experiences. She evolves but doesn’t twist her personality. Because of the Doctor she briefly becames extraordinary (Bad Wolf).

Martha Jones: Normal girl, yet strong and kind and unique (in a different way from Rose). Has extraordinary experiences. Because of the Doctor she changes, going from normal doctor to military Doctor, but doesn’t twist her personality.

Donna Noble: Normal girl, yet strong and kind and unique (in a different way from precedent companions). Has extraordinary experiences. She evolves but doesn’t twist her personality. Because of the Doctor she briefly becames extraordinary (human-timelady).

Amy Pond: Normal girl, yet strong and kind and unique (in a different way from precedent companions). Has extraordinary experiences. Because of the Doctor she changes, experience different jobs and became a mature different person (in more than 10 years), but doesn’t twist her personality.

Rory Pond: Normal guy, yet strong and kind and unique (in a different way from precedent companions). Has extraordinary experiences. Because of the Doctor matures and becames more confident person. but doesn’t twist his personality. 

Clara Oswald: Normal girl, yet strong and kind and unique (in a different way from precedent companions). Has extraordinary experiences. She evolves but doesn’t twist her personality. Because of the Doctor she becames extraordinary (sacrificing herself, entering his timeline and creating copies all over the universe). Because of timetravel, the Doctor/we discover her extraordinary side before her real personality.

Moffat Haters: Remember when companions were NORMAL PEOPLE and not MYSTERIES TO BE SOLVED??? When their strenght came from themself and not from time traveling nonsense and supernatural events? Wao i really can’t take this new direction that the show has taken.

Just a few more stories to write, good luck, me!

Genres: romance, comedy

Pairing: Gruvia

Prompt no. 22 - Giggly kiss

Word count: 987


“Stop laughing, it’s not funny!”

“Stop laughing, it’s not funny!”, Gray said, red from embarrassment, as he and Juvia were returning from a mission. The girl tried to stifle her laughter, but she ended up laughing even louder, and Gray groaned as he buried his face in his hands.

“Aw, Gray-sama! But Juvia thought Gray-sama was adorable!”, Juvia cooed, still giggling. Gray peeked through his hands and looked at her from the corner of his eye, then pouted and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He mumbled something incoherently, which prompted Juvia to stop laughing (after several long minutes), and look at Gray with a slightly worried expression.

“Is Gray-sama angry?”, she asked, but before her confused companion could ask her why would he be angry, she entered her imaginary world and started panicking. “Oh god, Juvia made Gray-sama angry! What should she do? How could she apologize? Juvia never meant to make Gray-sama angry, Juvia just really thought that Gray-sama was cute and that’s why she was laughing, but that obviously made him angry, oh no, now Gray-sama won’t ever talk to Juvia again, even worse he won’t want to see her, and…”, she kept blabbering, not even listening to Gray anymore, who was desperately trying to return her to the real world.

“Oy, Juvia, it’s not like that, c’mon, listen to me, hey!”, he tried to call out to her, but she was too deeply engrossed into her imagination, so Gray had to find a different approach. He stood in front of her, grabbed her shoulders and lightly shook her, which finally snapped Juvia out of her daydream (or in this case, nightmare).

“Juvia! Listen! I’m not mad at you, okay? So stop whichever films you’re playing in your head!”, Gray said, and Juvia blinked several times. She slowly raised her eyes towards Gray’s, and he felt a bit of warmth creep up his neck and ears.

“Gray-sama… isn’t mad?”, she asked, tentatively, as if she was a bit confused, but also very relieved.

“No, well, I’m not really-”, Gray tried to say, but Juvia jumped on him before he could finish his sentence, effectively bringing both of them to the ground. Gray struggled beneath her, trying to get up and peel her off of him, but Juvia’s grip was too tight and she refused to let go. She snuggled into him, and after moments of fighting, Gray gave up moving. Juvia was like quick sand – the more you struggled, the more she’d take a hold of you. So Gray just lay there, waiting for Juvia to calm down before he could finally get up and regain his freedom.

Juvia started sobbing out of relief, and even though Gray knew those weren’t sad tears, he didn’t know how to deal with them. Or that was how it used to be, but now, after spending so much time with Juvia, the mage whose body was literally made out of water, and whose tear reservoir never seemed to dry out, Gray learned that the best solution was to let the woman cry herself out. As Juvia’s sniffling subsided, Gray slowly raised himself and the water woman up.

“Ju-Juvia’s s-so happy that G-Gray-sama isn’t angry! Juvia d-doesn’t know what she would d-do if Gray-sama was a-angry!”, she said, honestly glad, and Gray sighed before offering a small smile to the woman in his arms and ruffling her hair.

“Like I would get mad for something that stupid! Sheesh!”

“B-but, Gray-sama muttered something under his breath…”, Juvia murmured, and Gray stiffened a bit. He relaxed a moment later, though, and with a tint of pink on his cheeks he told her what he had said that time.

“I said that it was your fault…”, Gray said but regretted that right away when he saw Juvia’s eyes starting to water again.

“S-So, Gray-sama really is angry!”, she said, starting to sob again, and Gray frantically waved his hands around.

“No, no, I was just p-pouting a bit, I wasn’t angry! I was just a bit… cross that you were laughing, but nothing serious!”, he tried to convince her, but Juvia eyed him skeptically.

“But you said it was Juvia’s fault. What exactly was Juvia’s fault?”, she asked, and Gray sweated a bit, but after a long sigh and a big blush, he decided to tell her.

“…’S ‘cause you looked like you were flirting with him…”, he said quietly while rubbing his neck, and Juvia blinked a few times before she processed what Gray said, and then burst into laughter once again, while Gray looked a bit hurt.

“H-hey!”, he complained, but Juvia threw herself at him (once again) while giggling, and Gray shut up.

“Gray-sama thought Juvia was flirting? That was why he embarrassed himself like that? No, no, no”, she shook her head, “Juvia was just chatting with our client. But it’s nice to know that Juvia isn’t the only one to get jealous.”, she teased, and Gray averted his eyes while clicking his tongue, prompting Juvia to giggle some more. She took a hold of his face and turned it around, then started planting sloppy kisses all over him, too busy giggling. Gray weakly struggled and complained, before he finally gave in and started chuckling as well, and so the two started a silly battle of sloppily kissing one another while laughing. Eventually they started kissing on the lips, but as neither could stop giggling, chuckling and smiling, that turned out to be quite silly as well.

After they finally remembered that they should get up from the ground, they stopped kissing and Juvia got up, helping Gray up as well. She then immediately seized his arm, but instead of complaining, Gray fondly shook his head and let her hold onto him.

“Damn, you’re turning me into an idiot.”

Juvia just giggled at that, leaning her head onto his shoulder and they continued walking with smiles on their faces.