confession

Confession #230

I used to be part of the community but left after I saw how much of class system it actually is. Unless you get noticed by a bigger blog, no one cares for you. It’s gotten to the point where people idolize an rp’er so much that they refuse to see they have faults. I get that we are all nerds dressing up but it isn’t fair when the playing field isn’t equal (like bigger blogs putting out ko-fis and patreons asking for money) it’s all fun and games until your being bashed for speaking out about very problematic things in the community. Why should we have to keep quiet about obvious problems in the community (like RPers who are a lot older playing on minors sexual requests instead of not engaging/calling them out or fake apologies about things that have upset others) this used to be a fun community but it’s not anymore.

CONFESSION:

It’s a shame the desk scene in Cullen’s romance is often only seen as “sexy” (which IT IS, but…). It’s more than that. Cullen is all about duty, and his desk is a symbol of that. His romance, on the other hand, is all about duty evolving into more tender feelings. Cullen sweeping everything off his desk is representative of him learning that his second chance isn’t just about duty, but about who he is as a person and that he is indeed worthy of love. It’s more than just sexy, it’s symbolic!            

CONFESSION:

The first time I played Origins, I played a circle mage. I remember being so in awe of Morrigan for the way she so easily dismissed and brushed off the spirits and demons we encountered throughout the game, because the templars and senior enchanter had made it out to be as though all mages outside of the circle will fall prey to demons and become horrible abominations.

It made me initially think that was inevitable if you lived outside the circle, and I worried for my warden, thinking it was going to happen to her. It was then and there that I realized just how indoctrinated the circle keeps the mages under its roof, and how they manipulate them into believing every word they say about how dangerous and cursed they are. I wonder how many abominations became the evil bogey men they were taught to fear, all because that’s what they’ve been told.

Maybe better equipping young mages with the knowledge on how to deal with any personal dangers would have worked better than just confining them inside a circle to instill fear and wait until their Harrowing.

Confession #203

I’ve been in in this community for more than a year. No one is obliged to ship a particular ship. But thinking specifically about the history of the HP RP community, this originated as a space with a lot of gender-fuckery: a place where people of all different gender identities/presentations could draw on beards, put on wigs, experiment with makeup, and explore relationships (platonic and romantic) that aligned with their experiences and hopes. Which is to say: this a queer space. For folks who don’t identify on the LGBTQIA spectrum, I can see how that might feel alienating, like you aren’t being represented or your view of characters isn’t being respected. But please remember: the rest of the world is not like this community. We fought to carve out this home where we can feel seen+represented. I ask that you be careful about the space you take up and the way you present your views, so that it can continue to feel like a safe & loving home for those who need it.

CONFESSION:

I makes me extremely mad how I see a lot of male players talking shit about how Cassandra is not femenine enough or how much of buff toughy she is, that she is not “woman enough”, especially when I’m browsing through nexus mods and find mods giving her a long hair, no scars and things like that. Meanwhile me and a lot of other female players would romance her in a heartbeat if we could. Such a waste, Bioware, they don’t deserve the seeker’s soft heart.

CONFESSION:

I remember being blown away on DA:O when i had my m/m  romance with Zev it was the first time i felt genuinely included in a game as a gay man (after years of playing women in games). I actually cried during the romance scene because it touched me so much that this life long hobby of gaming was finally including queer culture. But its a sad fact that being included is still a privilege not a right i hope that changes sooner rather than later and other folk can feel what i did that day.