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  • dorothy: okay, we have suntan lotion, chapstick, and half a dozen cheap tawdry romance novels.
  • rose: well, then we're all set. we have everything we need for the cruise.
  • blanche: girls, listen, maybe we don't have everything we need.
  • dorothy: what? what are we missing?
  • blanche: well, we are going away for a romantic weekend to the bahamas with jeff and rich and randy. in this day and age, it might be a good idea to take along some... protection.
  • rose: what kind of protection?
  • dorothy: two armed pinkerton guards! no, blanche is talking about, uh... *gestures*
  • rose: a nestlé's crunch?
  • dorothy: one over.
  • rose: an enema bag?
  • dorothy: to the right.
  • rose: dentu-grip?
  • dorothy: condoms, rose! condoms condoms condoms!
  • pharmacist: calm down, lady! you just get out of prison?
Comfortable ?

Dimitri had ran us a hot bath, to sooth the pain coming from the very painful, yet very lovable bundle of joy, we were soon to have in our lives.

“Are you comfortable Roza” he asked as I lay back on his chest

“Yes but the real question is are you? I am putting all the weight of my eight month pregnant body on your chest.” I said shifting took look up in his dark brown eyes

“Roza, I don’t mind having you so close and yes I’m comfortable” Dimitri said as he nuzzled his face into my shoulder

We sat in silence just enjoying the warm water together until I started to feel little butterfly kisses on my neck

“Do you remember when you first realized you loved me, because I remember when I realized I was in love with you”. I said leaning into his touch

“When was that” He said with a slight laugh in his voice “and yes I remember when I started to fall for you”

“Well we both know it wasn’t at first sight” I said remembering the first night we meet, causing us both to laugh.

“I don’t know Roza, I was pretty awe struck by you, I think I loved you before, I had time to process the feelings” He said as he wrapped his arms around me and our soon to be baby. 

“I remember, when you said you believed in me, I hadn’t really had that before. It made me realize that I felt something for you.” I moved to kiss his lips, as they parted slightly leaving my neck.

“I will always believe in you Roza” 

“Ouch, Shit. I guess getting knocked up by someone who is 6′2 comes with its ups and downs″ I said as I laughed off the pain. As I looked up to Dimitri, I noticed his face had that pensive look he gets

“Dimitri, are you okay” He looked me in the eyes as if we were worlds away, as he moved his hands to my stomach

“Are you ever afraid we don’t know how to be parents”

 I was the only one who knew this side of him. The side that was unsure, and afraid of a past that haunts him more than he would like to admit.

“Dimitri, look at me” waiting for our eyes to meet “ You are going to be an amazing father, you love more deeply than anyone I know” I put my hands over his that are resting on my large baby bump “ and the only thing this baby will know is love, form both parents and the people we let surround her” 

“Thank you, Roza” He moved to kiss me “ I love you”

“I love you too, forever” 

BLANCHE: Girls, listen, maybe we don’t have everything.

DOROTHY: What? What are we missing?

BLANCHE: Well, we are goin’ away for a romantic weekend in the Bahamas with Jeff, Rich, and Randy. In this day and age it might be a good idea to take along some … protection.

ROSE: What kind of protection?

DOROTHY: Two armed Pinkerton guards. No, Blanche is talking about - (points to shelf)

ROSE: A Nestle’s Crunch?

DOROTHY: One over.

ROSE: An enema bag?

DOROTHY: To the right.

ROSE: Dentu-Grip?!


CASHIER: Calm down, lady! You just get out of prison?

BLANCHE: Girls, what do you think?

DOROTHY: Well, it’s not a bad idea, but I’m a little embarrassed!

ROSE: Me too!

BLANCHE: Embarrassed? There’s no reason to be embarrassed. These are discreet professionals. This is a private matter. Whatever we buy is nobody’s business but our own. (places package of condoms on counter) I’d like a package of these please.

DOROTHY: (places package of condoms on counter) And, um, I’d like these.

ROSE: (places package of condoms on counter) And I’ll take these.

BLANCHE: Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?

CASHIER: (via loudspeaker) Joe, I need a price check on some condoms. These three ladies here want a couple of boxes of the King George prophylactics.

JOE: (via loudspeaker) Lambskins or the ultra-sensitive?

CASHIER: Two of them have the lambskins and the blonde has the ultra-sensitive. In black.