Joycelyn Elders was the first African American and second woman appointed as Surgeon General of the United States. She was removed from her position because she was an outspoken advocate for contraception and sex ed and believed that masturbation should be promoted as an alternative to sex.
My partner doesn’t think we need to use a condom because neither of us has ever had sex. Is that true?
Someone asked us:
Hello I was wondering if you could help me. My partner and I are in high school and are talking about sex. We both never had it before. I am terrified about getting a STD. My partner claims you don’t need to use protection if you never had sex before and are a 100% you have no std. Is this true?
Here’s the deal: you still need to think about using a condom even if neither you nor your partner has ever “had sex” with anyone before. Why? Because some STDs (like HIV, herpes, and scabies) can also be passed in non-sexual ways. And different people have different definitions of “having sex,” which could mean the difference between having an STD or not.
Example: some people think oral sex counts as sex, and some other people don’t. So someone who has had oral sex before might say they’ve never had sex and were never at risk for STDs. But you actually can get an STD from oral sex.
So talk with your partner about what they mean when they say they’ve never had sex. And keep in mind that the only way to know for sure if either of you has an STD is to get tested.
Remember that condoms prevent pregnancy, too, so if that’s a concern for you, condoms come in real handy. In fact, most people use a condom the first time they have sex. (And FYI: Condoms + regular birth control? Ultra protection.)
also please stop saying they should stop giving away free condoms if they’re not going to give away free tampons/pads/etc. because like, yeah they should provide people with tampons/pads/etc. for sure, it’s a necessity, and many people can’t afford them, which is horrible, but people also need condoms, major horrible things happened, including the devastating aids crisis because of the lack of access to condoms, sex workers need safe access to condoms, especially if theyre on a tight budget, and so on, it’s safer for everyone that condoms are free and accessible.
Yall don’t have to make weird comparisons to shit to say that we should be provided with other shit.
You don’t have to take away from other people because you want something, yall both can have it. This is what you should work towards? The government actually giving a shit about the people? Not fighting over who deserves what, and who we should take away from to give to someone else. Both are deserving causes.
Your sexual network is everyone you have sex with, everyone they have sex with, and so on, and so on.
The larger your sexual network, the more likely you are to come into contact with STIs, including HIV. So if you like going wider, consider talking to your doctor about safer sex, prevention options, and getting tested.
My teacher told me only women get HPV and not men; I don’t think that’s right or true. Could I get some clarification?
You’re right on this one. Anyone can get HPV— which is why it’s so important for everyone to get the HPV vaccine. There are a lot of different types of HPV, and most of them go away on their own and don’t cause cancer — but sometimes HPV can lead to cancer of the cervix, vagina, vulva, anus, penis, mouth or throat. The type of cancer that’s most often caused by HPV is cervical cancer, which is why some people associate HPV with people who have a cervix.
Unfortunately there’s no HPV test for people who are packing a penis. Those of us with a cervix can go to a doctor for an HPV or Pap test to look for HPV or any HPV-caused abnormal cells. HPV is super common, but the problems it can cause are easily treated when caught early.