condom safety

Safety First

ENTP: So I was reading this blog written by an INFP, and she was saying that her marrige was falling apart. She just discovered what MBTI is and she was saying that her husband is an ESTJ.
INFP: Oh, no.
ENTP: And the comments were very sarcastic and said things like “Hm, I wonder what went wrong there” and “MBTI is right again”.
INFP: Oh but imagine how awful that would be! You’re in love with this person! And your MARRIGE is falling apart! She could be questioning her entire life and every decision she ever made!
ENTP: *tries to say something but INFP already started one of those inexplicable INFP things and she will finish this*
INFP: See, this is why I will always make sure to type everyone around me. Now and in the future. It is to protect myself from a bad decision. It is to stay safe. Omg. ENTP. MBTI is my condom!!
ENTP: *dies of laughter*

What sex item is your sign?

Aries: Vibrator- Intense and direct

Taurus: Massage oil- Soothing and very hands on

Gemini: Double ended dildo- Two faced? Two times the fun!

Cancer: Nipple clamps- Sensitive and private

Leo: Handcuffs- Controlling and dominant

Virgo: Flavoured condoms- Safety first, but still kinky

Libra: The feather- Very gentle and delicate

Scorpio: The whip- Powerful and passionate

Sagittarius: The choker- Exciting and playful

Capricorn: Lube- Initiates and straight to business

Aquarius: Role play outfits- Weird but extremely erotic!

Pisces: The paddle- Submissive and fragile

Tama Tonga NSFW Alphabet

Originally posted by frentique

Because he’s a shithead. I still love him though

This was inspired by @roman-reigns-princess and @running-ropes (I can’t seem to tag that blog though)


Tag List: 

@sammiielli @geektastic1100 @fuckyeahtamatonga @theelitevillian @wwesavedme @dorkyvillain @imaginarydreamz @imnobodiesbitch @kazuchika @spot-of-bother  @edgeoffire @tvrnbvckle @wrasslesmut @wwesmutdonedirtcheap @wwesmutandstuff @lavitabella87 @sailoralderaan @lexis-the-stick-figure @leakees @leelakoiwolff @balorsomega @baleesi @balthazarstardis @spine-buster @nahmooste


A: (Aftercare - what they’re like after sex)

He’s a total cuddlebug. After he’s got a chance to come down from the high a bit, he’ll (gently, of course), pull out then go get a washcloth to wipe you off then make sure you’re okay (he’ll do so by asking repeatedly if you’re alright.) He’ll also wrap his arms around you and pull you close so you can rest your head on his chest. Some nights, though, he’ll probably fall asleep right after.

B: (Body Part - their favorite part and their favorite part on their partner’s body)

He actually loves his entire body. Man doesn’t spend 5 days a week in the gym for nothing. His favorite part on you is your legs. You might hate them but he loves them, especially when they’re wrapped around his waist in bed.

C: (Cum)

He loves seeing his cum on you, especially on your tits and stomach. He also loves to cum inside you (only if you let him - the rest of the time, he’ll wear a condom (safety first, kiddos!)) He really, really likes seeing your cum on his fingers and if he gets you really excited, it gets in his beard - that drives him crazy in the best way.

D: (Dirty Little Secret)

He would never admit this out loud and if you tell anyone, he’ll be pissed, but he would totally be down for a three way between you, him, and Finn. Hell, he’d probably get off watching Finn fuck you.

E: (Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

This wild Tongan is definitely experienced. Remember when he first got to Japan and was pretty much partying all night, every night? He wasn’t just drinking and having a good time with Karl and the Good Brothers of the Club, if you know what I mean. 

F: (Favorite Position)

He looooveeesss doggy style. Mostly so he can smack your ass and pull your hair while he’s fucking you from behind. He also loves you on top so he can grip your waist as you ride him.

G: (Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc))

He’s kinda silly at times - I mean, have you seen his comedy matches? He’ll have your sides splitting with laughter at times. Other times, he’s rough and dominant but he’ll always make sure you get off first.

H: (Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.))

His hair may be a bit wild and fluffy when it’s dry (hey, curly hair is a bitch at times - I speak from experience) and he keeps his beard trimmed. He also shaves everything else.

I:  Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

There are some nights when all he wants to do is “take it slow just as fast as he can” (thank you, Sam Hunt for that lyric) and he’s very romantic and intimate with you. Other nights, he’s ready to rumble and that means being a little rough and dominant with you, so don’t wear anything you’re gonna have to replace later.

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He’s the type that will jack off if he absolutely has to (meaning if you’re not around or can’t answer the phone when he’s in Japan), but most of the time he’s fine if he doesn’t do it.

K:  Kink (One or more of their kinks)

As mentioned earlier, he would be down for a three way but won’t act on it. But he does love seeing you tied to his bed with a blindfold on. Definitely is into spanking, especially if you decide to be a brat in bed. If you tell him yes, he’ll also choke you a little - not enough to make it unbearable, but enough to make it good. He’s also the type that will edge you while in public; just enough so that you’re raring to go as soon you get some alone time.

L:  Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Heh heh. He loves fucking you in his bed but his favorite place to do it is in the living room - the danger of someone walking in at any moment is enough to turn him on. He, and don’t tell his brother this, actually fucked you in his brother’s bed once and he giggles like a maniac sometimes when he thinks about it.

M:  Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You, basically. He loves seeing you in anything, everything and nothing. When you’re at the gym and you’ve got those black yoga pants on, when you’ve got a little red dress on for a night out, that yellow polka dot bikini at the beach, just his tshirt (that’s his absolute favorite thing to see you in, especially when you’re wearing absolutely nothing underneath), and of course, when you’re naked in his bed.

N: NO  (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s not going to be overly rough with you and certainly won’t degrade you in any manner - his mother (and pretty much his entire family) would kill him; so he won’t leave any bruises and stuff on you - quite a few hickeys though if the mood strikes.

O:  Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He loves receiving, but he really, really, really likes giving. It’s like his third favorite thing to do to you in bed. He’s super skilled at it, as well - all that time in Japan has certainly taught him a few things.

P:  Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Both. He’s into the slow and sensual route some nights, and definitely up for a rough and tumble session.

Q:  Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is down for a quickie or two. There was that one time in the locker room in Japan when he was supposed to be painting his face - his brother couldn’t look either of you in the eye for like three weeks after that.

R:  Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Again, the quickie in his locker room that one time. Most of the time, if he’s feeling particularly devious (he’s not named the Bad Boy for nothing, after all), he’ll get you going in public and then when you two are alone, all bets are off.

S:  Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Boy, oh boy, does Tama have stamina. He can definitely go quite a few rounds and during his cool down periods, his time is spent with either his head between your legs or his fingers between them while he’s making out with you.

T:  Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He doesn’t own any for himself but he does have quite a few for when you come over. He likes using them on you, particularly a nice little vibrator when you’re tied up in his bed. Most of the time, he prefers using his hands and mouth on you.

U:  Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This motherfucker is a total fucking tease at times. When you two are on a date, he can’t help himself. He’ll slip his hand under your dress and tease you til you’re wet. When you’re just hanging out with his friends, he loves having you sit on his lap so he can grind against your ass a bit. When you’re in bed, he’ll tease you relentlessly til you’re begging for it.

V:  Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s got a dirty mouth and when he’s getting close to climaxing, he’ll for sure let out a string of “fuck’s.” Most of the time, though, he’s talking dirty and telling you how beautiful you are. On the slow nights, he’ll ask if you’re alright a lot.

W:  Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He loves waking up next to you in the mornings. The feel of you in his arms makes him feel a little tingly inside. He also adores taking you out dancing or watching you do anything - he’s a total sucker for you.

X:  X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

If those tight pants or those Sleefs he wore last year for G1 don’t tell you anything, idk then, bub. He’s a pretty good size - not too big and not too small, definitely not average though.

Y:  Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Boy got a sex drive like no other. When he gets home from Japan, he is allllll over you for days at a time. He’s got a decent cool down period, but once that time is up, he’s ready to go.

Z:  ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He tries to wait until you fall asleep before doing so himself, but if he’s just home from Japan, he’ll probably pass out right after. Same if he’s in the rough and tumble mode.

Lips -Start of sex.
Nipples ⚫-Bite of Sex.
Boobs 💲-Shape of sex.
Penis 🍌-Length 📏 of sex.
Pusy 🍑-Depth of sex.
Ass -Back door 🚪 entry of sex.
Nudity-Invitation of sex.
Fuck-Xperience of sex.
Suck-Taste of sex.
Masturbation -Substitute of sex.
Condom- Safety of sex.
Sperm - Cream of sex.
Ejaculation 💧- End of sex.
Prostitute - Machine of sex.
Marriage 🎊- License 🔖 of sex.
Periods- Having Rest from sex.
Pregnancy- Proof of sex.
Child 👪- Result of Sex.
HAVE A SEXY WEEKEND
GOOD MORNING

Regards
Archu

93. Involving a Hooker

Hook up

Word Count: 1,985
Written by: @dragonsrequiem
A/N: Well, no. 90 is about a hooker, so I sort of included it? But I couldn’t resist throwing in a bit of praise kink, because the thought of Bucky singing your praises while you’re in the sack just sounded too good to pass up. Warnings: Smut. Duh

Originally posted by loveviral

When the night began, you expected another night undercover, helping Natasha. You’d been told that a familiar face would be approaching you, and no matter what you were not to drop the prostitute persona this evening; if you dropped the act, the mission would be a failure. Well, you’d spent enough time with the Avengers to know that mission failure could be a major problem for the world, so you guessed you were stuck helping.

So now you stood on this stupid street corner, wearing a dress that left little to the imagination while you wished you could be back in your nice quiet room, curled up in front of the fake fireplace in comfy pjs with the latest book you couldn’t put down. There was a character who rather reminded you of Steve’s friend, Bucky, and unlike you the character was fixing to get some from the guy she liked. Your mind started wondering, but your “Wanna play?” smile flashed absently at any guy who approached. After all, how could they know that the twinkle in your eyes was because you were thinking of the things you’d like to do to your longtime crush?

Keep reading

It’s Not What It Looks Like!

Originally posted by ilvyl

Request:  can i have a tim drake x reader where the reader is bruce wayne’s biological daughter and she’s around tim and damian’s age, they both have a secret relationship no one knows about until bruce finds out while they’re both making out on the couch or whatever. i know you have a prompt list so if you wanna add any of those it’s fine, i just couldn’t find the right ones! please and thank you!!

Pairing: Tim Drake x reader

Summary: You and Tim decide to get frisky in the living room when you think no one is home, sadly you are mistaken 

Words Count: 1,292

Genre: Fluffy

Notes: I LOVE THIS GIF IT MATCHES TIM PERFECTLY ps this is like a lil smutty but nothing super crazy


For having the world’s greatest detective, it was surprisingly easy to keep your relationship with Tim a secret. The boy genius was adopted by your father Bruce when both of you were 16 and since the day he walked through the manor’s doors there had been a thick layer of romantic tension between the two of you. It took a year of loving side glances and small brushes of skin before you finally broke through the lovesick fog and kissed him. Tim wasn’t used to someone else making the first move but he wasn’t complaining, he was just glad it finally happened. Since that day you and Tim had found ways to keep your relationship quiet from your father. Bruce might not have been the most attentive father but just like many other fathers, he was protective as hell of his only little girl. You had no doubt that if Bruce knew about your relationship that he would put Tim through the wringer.  

Today you and Tim had the entire mansion to yourselves. Damian and Alfred were at a vet appointment for Titus, Jason and Dick had their own apartments and Bruce was doing things with the League for the day. You two sat along the couch in the living room, you laid between Tim’s legs and propped yourself up on his muscular chest. He had an arm on you and was surfing through TV channels with the other. A warm blanket laid on top of you two, keeping the constant cold atmosphere from the large mansion out. You loved days like these where you could just be lazy with Tim, you didn’t have to worry about someone being around the corner when you kissed him. You didn’t have to hide how much you cared for him, you were completely free to be a normal teenage couple.  

Keep reading

Sailor Moon wants YOU to be safe!

Japan’s Ministry of Health is enlisting Sailor Moon to help contain the spread of chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV/AIDS, among other STIs.

In recent years, sexually transmitted infection cases have spiked in Japan. During the 1990s, Sankei News reports that the number never got over a thousand, but as of this October, there were 3,284 people with reported STIs. 

The poster campaign features Sailor Moon and a reworked version of her original “On behalf of the moon, I will punish you!” catchphrase. Instead, the STI poster reads, “If you don’t get checked out, I will punish you!” 

According to Sankei, the campaign is aimed at young women in their teens, 20s, and 30s, but it’s also a good reminder for all. 

They’re even giving away condoms!.

YASSSS GET THAT SAFETY SIS!.

THANK YOU MOM!!.

First she defeated Goku now she’s defeating STI!

World hunger you’re next!

Day Seventy-Three

-The holidays have ended. The store is silent, empty to an extent I had forgotten was possible. I feel a deep sense of tranquility at the presence of short lines and easy shifts.

-My ability to wear jeans to work for the holidays is gone, and with it, my zest for life.

-Today we are on the lookout due to a potential possible stalker-ish type situation. Years of hyper-attentiveness due to extreme anxiety have prepared me for this exact situation. I am ready.

-I find myself covered in an endless coat of glitter from all of the discounted Christmas decorations. I believe I have found the definition of “zen”.

-A woman became angry after having her check denied. She was certain that the stamp on her check had caused it. The stamp was, though, our system denying the check. The jury is still out on this case of Chicken v. Egg, but I hope she will find the truth soon.

-I passed a woman wearing a shirt that read, “Love Is L'Amour.” I am appreciative of such a helpful Rosetta Stone of a shirt.

-I am endlessly baffled by diapers being so expensive when they are little more than disposable poop bags. Some have Disney characters on them. These are the only ones I would be willing to pay full price for. All other lines of diapers have a great deal of explaining to do.

-A woman in her late fifties or early sixties purchased a large bottle of lube and a larger box of condoms. I respect her safety and am proud of her lifestyle.

-I handed a screaming girl a strip of stickers, instantly stopping the screams. The next guess complimented me on my knowledge of children, and how I knew exactly what to do to stop her cries. I am always willing to take compliments from any sources, but I do feel guilty for not explaining to her that the child had been screaming about how badly she wanted stickers.

-A child encountered her reflection in the lane’s mirror and immediately carried out the natural reaction: dancing wildly at herself while cackling maniacally.

-A woman came through my lane wearing a sweatshirt with the phrase, “God Is Good, Y'all” on it. Usually I am not one to pay attention to gospel given to me by strangers, but from such a casual and laid-back hoodie, I think I might give it a shot.

Pro Hoe Tip #12: Inside My Purse (Going Out Edition)

Okay, so I’m going to start with a disclaimer: I’m like the mother of my group. None of them are SUPER experienced with drinking or even just dressing to go out, and do I try to plan with this in mind. 

 This is just a basic list of the things I always keep in my bag when I go out! I tend to overplan, so some of these things may seem excessive but you can feel free to pick and choose what you think you need! 

 -My school ID/Drivers License

-At least $25 cash; $5 should be in singles 

-My credit debit card 

-A condom 

 Those are just the basics for ANY night of going out, I can always keep them in my bag or even my bra if need be. I also try to have: 

 - 2-3 Band-Aids 

- Chapstick or Lip Gloss 

- Lotion (can be used to stop your hair from frizzing up too!) 

- Perfume Roller 

- More than one condom (Safety First!!) 

- Mascara

- Eyeliner

 - Mouthwash/Floss 

 - Tampons oc

 - Gum 

 - If it fits, the charger cord for my phone 

 - A little pill box with advil/tylenol, an allergy pill, etc. 

 I’ll probably try to add to this list as I think of more things, but hopefully this will be helpful if you forget to pack your purse until AFTER you’ve pregamed!! 😂

anonymous asked:

So you have time to spit out the exact same response you always do to that question? I 100% understand you have a life, I just don’t get why you’re still running this blog when you very clearly don’t have the time for it??

Can you not?

Every once in awhile we have a few minutes or the desire to answer something. So we do.

Even if we go months between posts, it’s still our blog and quite frankly you can go fuck yourself.

But use a condom. Safety first.

Xoxo,
Dani

Hetalia Characters - Should you drink with them?
  • Italy: If you go out drinking with Italy, bring some food with you, or else he will force you to go out and get some then eat it. Also he falls a lot. Go drinking with him, please.
  • Germany: Once he's drunk, he laughs at everything. Go out drinking with him and tell him a knock knock joke. I dare you.
  • Japan: He falls asleep when he's drunk. Bummer, don't drink with him.
  • Romano: Romano gets awkwardly horny when he's drunk, and he'll have his pants off by the end of the night. You CAN drink with him, but bring condoms for safety measures.
  • Prussia: Take his regular personality, and multiply it by ten. Also known as hell. Don't drink with him.
  • America: Surprisingly, he keeps his alcohol down, but he gets very talkative. You can drink with him, but expect to be bored by his constant rambling.
  • England: Please don't drink with him. He will end up crying on your floor and then yell about America the entire time.
  • France: Like America, he doesn't really get drunk, but when he does he gets SMASHED. Then he pulls pranks on everyone. It's a fun time. Go drinking with France.
  • China: China is probably the worst out of everyone here when he's drunk. He somehow finds a dress and dances around to shitty Chinese pop songs. Then he bitches about everyone. Go drinking with China.
  • Russia: Russia sees things when hes drunk, and he ends up crying in the corner about the talking cactus outside. Don't go drinking with Russia.
  • Spain: Are you trying to die? Spain is a fucking savage when he's drunk, and he WILL fight anything in front of him. Please, save yourself and don't drink with Spain.
  • Canada: He acts like America when he's drunk, and you can often see him twerking on top of the bar on Saturday night. Go drinking with him.
things my friends claim i’ve said sentence starters

“ i am literally going to fight everyone right now. “
“ wrap yourself in a condom of safety. “
“ watch out for aliens and lions. they run rampant in public bathrooms. “
“ shots fired from the d. “
“ you literally sicken me. if there was someone who sickens me, it’s you. you make me sick. get away from me you cretin. “
“ i am the saltine cracker of love. “
“ he showed me a dead bird, and i got sad so i wanted you to see the dead bird too. “
“ you fucking crying bro? you being a nerd– oh you’re not. okay. false alarm. “
“ i am a burrito filled with anxiety. “
“ drive me to throw rocks at the sun. “
“ how do you feel about sea lions? “
“ duuuuude, what do you think it would be like to be a cactus. “
“ what the fuck is math? take it away. “
“ i am allergic to you specifically. “
“ it’s broken? well poke a lot of eye holes in the curtain and we can just stare at the audience screaming for like three hours. we’ll call it live art. “
“ get the fuck away from me you, extra long tadpole. “
“ you’re what a flat tire would act like if it were a person. “
“ we can be pirates! “
“ sorry, i can’t do that. i’m busy being an opium pirate. “
“ marry me for the tax benefits, bro. “
“ oh no. everyone stop what they are doing. get the camera. i’m going to reproduce asexually. my spawn is budding off of me. capture the birth. “
“ i have been to the nurse six times in five days, fight me. “
“ towels make me uncomfortable. it’s like rubbing carpet on your body. “
“ do these pomegranate seeds smell like bourbon to you? “

Parenthood

[Part 1: “Family”]

content: Dean freaks out because his little daughter wants to know where babies come from. But little does he know why she asked in the first place …
word count: 2117


“We have a serious emergency!”

“Dean …?”

“C'mon, Cas!”

Dean grabs Castiel’s hand when the former angel just walks through the door and pulls him into a spare room before he even gets a chance to say a word.

“Dean, what is it?” His husband seems highly alarmed now, looking around as if he expects a supernatural monster to pop out of nowhere right next to the closet or the nightstand.

“No demons or shit like that,” Dean hastily assures. “It’s worse!”

Castiel’s eyes widen. “Worse? Leviathans?”

What? No, Cas, no one’s gonna die, okay? Jeez!”

Castiel folds his arms, his face serious. “What did you expect? You look agitated and told me about an emergency worse than demons! That sounds life threatening to me!” He sighs exasperated. “So, what is worse than demons or Leviathans?”

“Our daughter …,” Dean begins and Castiel starts to stiffen at the mention of Hope. “She … she wants to know where babies come from.”

Castiel blinks, a strange expression on his face.

Frowns.

And obviously waits for Dean to continue.

But when his husband stays quiet he finally asks, “That’s your emergency?”

Keep reading