condom olympics

goldcaught  asked:

kc + OLYMPIAN AU caroline is a gymnast (if nastia liukin can be skinny and leggy and medal SO CAN CAROLINE), klaus is a swimmer hello long and lean swimmer's body NICE TO MEET YOU and something something free condoms all over the olympic village but ust first and a certain tweet that's super flirty that catches everyone's attention

fifteen (h a h) minute drabble prompt for @thetourguidebarbie and @cupcakemolotov too 

The party was in full swing when Caroline finally arrived, the satisfying weight of the medal around her neck still fresh from the podium ceremony she’d just finished. Her gaze scanned the crowd for a minute before landing on a familiar crop of blonde curls that reminded her of an entirely different weight she’d been hoping to have pressed against her tonight.

As if he could feel the intensity of her gaze, Klaus’ eyes landed on her, immediately alert with far more interest than he’d shown in the conversation around him. He broke into one of those slow grins that had utterly captured her attention that first night when he saw her making her way towards him, barely pausing to brush off the woman who’d been trying to speak with him.

He met her halfway, letting out an appreciative hum as he gave her a thorough once-over.

“Congratulations, love. I knew gold would suit you, but you’ve far exceeded my expectations as to how much.” He was so cheesy, but Caroline couldn’t stop grinning, the adrenaline of the past few hours combined with the fact that she’d seen that he’d somehow snuck his way down close to the floor when she’d taken the podium making the past few weeks all worth the wait.

Only one thing could possibly make tonight more perfect, and she hadn’t exactly gotten this far by settling.

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Copacabana Dreams (1/2)

I had to break this into two parts, it was getting ridiculous. I had several prompts that I could fill with this one, an anon wanting Killian to worship Emma’s legs and two anons wanting female ejaculation/squirting. The latter doesn’t happen here, but the first is teased a bit.

Two people taking part in the most elite competition in the world. Emma wants to prove that she and her teammate Elsa deserve to be here. Killian wants a second chance after being unable to compete in the 2012 games. Both just want to find a quiet moment to make use of some of those 450,000 condoms the Rio Olympic committee provided.

Part 1 is rated T for Tension. Part 2 will be rated X for Xxxxxxxxxxxxxcellent, I’m Finally Writing Smut Again.

part 2, part 3, AO3, FF.Net

The first time he saw her was on the monitors in the arena adjacent to Maracanã. Will was busy griping in his ear about the order of entry while Robin made sympathetic noises to try and shut him up – not their fault that Brazilian Portuguese put the Americans before Team GB – but a flash of blonde hair and an overwhelmed (but brilliant smile) on the broadcast distracted Killian from Will’s language woes. This, naturally, did not go unnoticed, and Will’s own attention was diverted from the Parade of Nations to taking the piss out of Killian.

Killian had to remind himself several time that an Olympic-level rugby player could kick his sorry arse up and down the beachfront several times without breaking a sweat, and took the abuse with grace and no fisticuffs.

“He’s just looking for a friendly face to keep him company when we take our leave,” Robin said at one point, valiantly trying to save Killian from Will’s teasing.

At this point they’d started to move across the grounds towards Maracanã, to take their place in line for the grand show. Robin did have a point – both he was competing in the morning and Will had practice; both had chosen to walk in the parade under the condition of leaving immediately after to be well-rested. Killian, on the other hand, had several days before competing and hadn’t gotten to know many of the others on Team GB well. Will merely shrugged. “Don’t matter, bloody dog’s been here four days and already trying to bed the competition.”

“If they didn’t want us to bed each other, as you so chastely put it,” Killian said, undoing another button on his shirt – didn’t this country know it was supposed to be winter here? – and wishing he could completely remove the blazer, “the planning committee wouldn’t have provided us with so many means to do so safely.”

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Will You Still Medal in the Morning?

Home to more than 10,000 athletes at the Summer Games and 2,700 at the Winter, the Olympic Village is one of the world’s most exclusive clubs. To join, prospective members need only have spectacular talent and – we long assumed – a chaste devotion to the most intense competition of their lives. But the image of a celibate Games began to flicker in ‘92 when it was reported that the Games’ organizers had ordered in prophylactics like pizza. Then, at the 2000 Sydney Games, 70,000 condoms wasn’t enough, prompting a second order of 20,000 and a new standing order of 100,000 condoms per Olympics. 

Many Olympians, past and present, abide by what Summer Sanders, a swimmer who won two gold medals, a silver and a bronze in Barcelona, calls the second Olympic motto: “What happens in the village stays in the village.” Yet if you ask enough active and retired athletes often enough to spill their secrets, the village gates will fly open. It quickly becomes clear that, summer or winter, the games go on long after the medal ceremony. “There’s a lot of sex going on,” says women’s soccer goalkeeper Hope Solo, a gold medalist in 2008. How much sex? “I’d say it’s 70 percent to 75 percent of Olympians,” offers world-record-holding swimmer Ryan Lochte, who will be in London for his third Games. “Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do." 

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ft. quotes from Hope Solo, Brandi Chastain, and Julie Foudy


Australia Creates Special Condoms to Prep for Olympics

Fearing the possibility of Australian athletes contracting the Zika virus, two Aussie companies have partnered to create special Zika-proof condoms ahead of the Rio Olympics. The line of prophylactics come in male and female versions and feature and antiviral lubricant that is touted to “inactivate” certain viral STIs such as HIV and HPV. The Australian Olympic Committee says it will provide the condoms for use in vending machines at the Olympic Village. However, the zika virus can be spread more ways than through sexual contact. The most common source of infection is mosquito bite.