condom facts

Where NOT to store your condoms long term:

So where should you store condoms? In a cool, dry place where it’s not likely to get punctured or mangled. Keep that wrapper safe and intact. It’s okay to keep a condom in your purse or wallet for the night as long as there’s nothing in there that might puncture it. Just don’t store it there long term.

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

—  Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” 

Characters: AJ Styles x OFC

Warnings: NSFW, cheating, adultery, influence of alcohol, age gap. If you don’t like this sort of thing don’t read.

Summary: The recent events in AJ’s life have been causing a great amount of stress and he feels like he has nobody to turn to. He also finds something inappropriate that the babysitter left behind and fed up with everything, has to have a little talk with her.

Keep reading

  • Except for your specialist, none of your doctors will know exactly what to expect. Unless you’re EXTREMELY lucky and go to a doctor with multiple trans patients, you’re going to be the one teaching them about the changes transitioning causes. Keep this in mind.
  • One of the first, if not THE first thing to change will be your clit, which will grow larger, and become a LOT more sensitive.
  • Of course, because T is the hormone that makes both males AND females horny, your libido will increase. I went from not wanting sex at all/being completely unphased by porn to actually being able to get horny from porn, and gaining a healthy libido.
  • Because your hormones levels are different, your vaginal chemistry will be different. This can mean a number of things: you can dry up, you can get yeast infections more often, OR, if you’re me, you can start having more frequent and more liquidy discharge. Be prepared for anything.
  • On the note of washing, your hair will get a LOT greasier, as will the rest of you. Your frequent washing won’t JUST be for your junk.
  • If you were lucky to not get acne (or get fairly mild acne) as a teenager, you WILL get more acne once on T. Especially on your back.
  • Your voice will deepen, yes, and guess what? This means you’ll have trouble hearing yourself over loud music. You’re being JUST as loud as you were before, your voice is just mixing in with the bass.
  • Your fat is going to move. If you have perky breasts, they’ll get saggy, and if you have large breasts, they’ll get floppy. That fat will move to your STOMACH, and your BUTT. But hey, goodbye cellulite!
  • EVEN IF YOUR PERIOD HAS STOPPED, YOU CAN STILL OVULATE. Yes, there is less risk of pregnancy because the T makes your womb less hospitable, but YOU CAN STILL GET PREGNANT IF YOU DON’T USE PROTECTION. You can’t take hormonal birth control either. You’re going to want to get your tubes tied/ovaries removed/a copper IUD put in ASAP, or just accept the fact that condoms BREAK and that’s a risk you’re willing to take.
  • (And yes, you CAN get pregnant if he pulls out. Or if he just cums on your labia. Or if he cums in your butt and it drips down onto your labia. AND NO, DOUCHING ISN’T GOING TO WASH THE SPERM OUT, IT’LL HELP THEM GET THERE. This is basic sex-ed.)
  • And ONE OF THE WORST THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN: Because your female sex organs have literally shut down, they can ATROPHY. Meaning THEY CAN LITERALLY DIE AND ROT INSIDE OF YOU. If you intend on keeping your female reproductive organs (not vagina) in-tact, REGULAR GYNO APPOINTMENTS ARE A MUST! Your Gyno will be able to warn you if something IS going seriously wrong, so please please PLEASE don’t avoid going just because of your dysphoria. Being embarrassed and upset is better than being DEAD.

Please please PLEASE do your research, and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! There are a lot of risks and changes that aren’t actively talked about, but they are HUGE ones! YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO LEARN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN BEFORE YOU TRANSITION, and I learned as much as *I* could before I did, but I was still taken by surprise!


Victorian Condoms!

This book I’m reading about Victorian society has some of the most interesting stuff.

So, apparently London had two condom shops.

And, so, they sold condoms made out of sheep guts. 

This is my favorite part: they came with a ribbon; the ribbon was to be tied around the base to fasten it securely. 

Oh, and these condoms were reusable. When the act was over, they could be washed out and hung up to dry like a sock.

There were two types of condoms available in the early 20th century: one made from animal intestines and the other from molded natural latex. Harriet and Cleary manufacture the former, but both were illegal. The punishment for using a contraceptive involved heavy fines and, sometimes, incarceration with hard labor. The law banning contraception wasn’t overturned until 1918.

sugoi-condoms  asked:



  1. I recover from fevers pretty quickly! 
  2. I don’t have a favorite color!
  3. I think about john legend lip syncing “slow motion” like every week
  4. I’m emo about fictional friendships
  5. I love dessert foods
  6. I was almost suspended in 2nd grade bc I kicked this poor kid in the crotch..IM SORRY
  7. I never eat out 
  8. I love mornings but I’m not an early riser
  9. I asked my teacher what a threesome was in 7th grade bc no one would tell me
  10. I suck at making anything
  11. I can’t do a single pushup
Hate || Joe

Joe masterpost found here

Word count - 1,378

Summary - The one where lust wins out.



Your friend, Caspar, decided to have a house party. You never turned down a good party, so you were eager to go. You knew all of your friends would be there, so it was bound to be a good time. You also knew Joe would be there, and you still weren’t quite sure if that was a good thing or not.

You and Joe were the definition of a love-hate relationship. When you weren’t screaming at each other, you were blatantly flirting. He made you so sexually frustrated that you often went home after nights out with him and the others and had to take care of yourself. You always fought over stupid things and your arguing became so frequent that seeing him mad became a turn on. Not knowing what he was thinking made being around him miserable, but hell, you didn’t really know what you were thinking either.

You arrived to Caspar’s flat wearing a short black dress with a plunge v neckline and a mesh insert. You were feeling especially sexy and in the mood to party until you couldn’t party anymore.

Caspar’s flat was already flooded with people when you arrived. Not only were the buttercream boys there, but so was practically everyone he knew in London who was up for a party. There were YouTubers as well as people you had never seen before. There was music, alcohol, and dimmed lights in every room. It was exactly what you had come for.

After greeting Caspar, you headed over to the drinks to pour yourself something. Naturally, as you grabbed a cup, you ran into Joe. He was slightly intoxicated already and he was staring at you with dark eyes. “Caspar didn’t say he invited you,” he said angrily, pouring himself a drink.

“Yeah well, what a grand fucking surprise for you,” you muttered, snatching the alcohol from him and pouring it into your cup. One second with him and you were already frustrated. How did he manage to look hot in black skinny jeans and a white t shirt? How did he manage to turn you on while also making you want to rip your hair out?

“Take a picture, it lasts longer,” Joe almost spat at you, snapping you out of your trance.

You clenched your jaw, “You know what? Fuck you.”

You took your drink and walked over to a group of strangers who were dancing. There were a couple of hot guys in the mix, so you decided to use them to forget about Joe and enjoy yourself. You held your drink up in the air and danced along to the blaring music. A while later, you let out a cheer as a good dancing song came on. You quickly found yourself grinding up against a stranger, his hands gripped tightly to your hips. “You sure know how to get a guy hard,” the stranger muttered in your ear.

“One of my many talents,” you said back, turning around to place kisses to his neck. He quickly grabbed your chin and smashed his lips against yours. You pressed yourself close to him wrapping your arms around his neck.

Suddenly, you were being pulled away from the stranger and through the crowd of people. It didn’t take long for you to realize it was Joe who had snatched you away. Suddenly, the two of you were in Caspar’s guest bedroom. Joe pushed you into the room and locked the door behind him. “What the hell are you doing?” you asked him angrily.

“What the hell are you doing?” he almost growled back.

“I was enjoying the party and making some new friends,” you spat.

“New friends my ass,” Joe laughed darkly. “That guy was just gonna fuck you and leave you in the morning.”

“Maybe that’s what I wanted,” you said, your hands on your hips. “You do not get to control me. I-”

You didn’t get to finish your sentence because Joe took one step towards you and pressed his lips against yours. There was no time to be slow or romantic in the kiss. It was full of lust and force, and you hardly minded at all. Joe was hastily removing your dress. You heard it rip slightly, but you didn’t care. You threw the dress on the ground and went to remove Joe’s clothes. You pulled his trousers down to his ankles, revealing his boner pressing against his boxers. Grinning up at him, you got on your knees and pulled the boxers off of him. Joe, knowing you were going to tease him, grabbed the back of your head and forced his dick into your mouth instead. You gagged slightly, causing Joe to throw his head back and groan. “Fuck yeah, you like that don’t you?” he groaned to you, his hands gripping your hair. “You like sucking me off. I bet you’re so wet for me right now.”

Joe pulled you away from him before he could finish and pushed you over to the bed. Because of your dress, you already weren’t wearing a bra, so Joe only had to remove your underwear. He did so quickly, then let his fingers trace up your thighs. “You’re mine, you understand that?” he told you, letting his fingers barely touch your entrance.

“Joe,” you groaned out, bucking your hips up to meet his hand.

“No,” he said sternly, holding you down and continuing to stroke you teasingly. “Whose are you?”

“Fuck, I’m yours Joe,” you said, your running up your body to pinch your nipples. With no warning, Joe shoved his fingers into you. He started with one but quickly added another. You moaned out his name, your hands still on your chest.

“You think you can take three fingers, baby?” he said, almost laughing at the state you were in. You shook your head.

“It’s too much,” you managed to say.

“Oh, I bet you can handle it princess,” he said tauntingly. He slowly eased another finger into you and you groaned out at the fullness. He paused for a minute before slowly moving his fingers in and out of you again. “How does that feel?” You could only moan. “No, use your words,” he said, nearly pulling his fingers out of you.

“It feels so good,” you said quickly, almost begging him to continue. Joe laughed and you suddenly felt his lips against your clit. You nearly screamed at the state of pleasure you were in.

All too soon, Joe pulled away from you completely. You groaned and let your fingers trail down your body, moving to finish what he had left, but Joe quickly grabbed your hands and pinned them to the bed. “I’ve been waiting so long to fuck you, (Y/N),” he told you. “I’m not about to let you finish what I’ve been waiting for.” Joe managed to rummage in the drawer next to the bed and find a condom, smirking at the fact that Caspar probably left them everywhere.

After sliding the condom on, Joe slammed into you, causing you to scream out in ecstasy. “Tell me again,” Joe said in your ear. “Tell me again whose you are.”

“I’m yours, Joe,” you said, your nails digging into his back.

“Say my name again,” he groaned.

“Joe,” you moaned out.

His lips trailed down to your neck, sucking and biting in various places, leaving marks across your skin. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to your high. “Joe I-”

“Cum for me baby,” he groaned in your ear. “I’m so close.” After a few more thrusts, you reached your high, moaning out Joe’s name as you did so. Joe continued to pound into you until he finished as well. He pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed beside you. He discarded the condom and then looked over at you. 

Your eyes were shut and you were still trying to catch your breath. Joe reached out and ran his fingers over your still hard nipples, causing your breath to hitch in your throat. You opened your eyes to look at Joe who was smirking at you. “I hate you,” you breathed out, a small smirk on your face as well.

He let out a short laugh, “I hate you more.”

Arya and Gendry were looking at the closet full of their wedding gifts. Gendry let out a low whistle. Now those were a lot of condom boxes. In fact that was the only thing in the closet. The rest of the gifts were somewhere else. Arya was about to say something when she was interrupted by a text.

That pile should last you more than a year

 Arya and Gendry exchanged a look.

“Six months?” suggested Gendry

Arya snorted.

“Four months. Four months and half at most.” she grabbed one of the boxes and threw it at Gendry’s face. 

“We better start now.”

I live! + No Condom Herpes Sex

Hello to all,

Yes. It’s really me. 

First off, I’d like to apologize for my unannounced hiatus from Tumblr. 

For those of you who know, I recently (about 3 months ago) starting seeing a man that I was working with. It was my first time in over 6 months talking to somebody (in real life, not over the interwebs) who I had genuine feelings for & knew that disclosure would be necessary. It was my first time disclosing in person, and I was terrified. If you’re interested in the whole story, you can feel free to read my post about it here:

Now, here’s a little bit of wise words for those little herpeeps who, like me once upon a time, felt destined to a life of abstinence after diagnosis. I have been having sex with my S.O for almost 2 months now. I take two 400 mg tablets of Acyclovir daily for suppressive therapy & to reduce viral shedding, and I sometimes take 1,000 mg of lysine on top of that. Now, here’s the nitty gritty & an honest truth that I need no finger wagging about: while I do everything on my end to protect myself and my partner sexually (#1 way to do that is by COMMUNICATION), we both feel comfortable not using condoms. In fact, we’ve used a condom once, and that was the first time that we had sex. And want to know a cool little snippet? He doesn’t have herpes. I’m keeping my little herpes muggle 100% herpes free by knowing my body, understanding its signs & taking medication. 

While some of you may roll your eyes at my stupidity (did I not, and many of us, contract herpes in the first place by not using condoms?!) here is the reason that it is okay to have sex without a condom, herpes or no herpes: If you and your partner have an open and truthful conversation about each other’s status, what you’re comfortable with, hopes, dreams & aspirations in this world then you are 100% justified to make any decision in regards to your sexual health TOGETHER. If you have herpes & your partner is aware of this fact but only feels conformable engaging in sexual activity with a condom, then you use that condom! On the flipside, if you have herpes & your partner is aware of this fact and wants to NOT wear a condom, but you feel safer doing so– then wear that condom! Every sexual decision made in a relationship should be communicated from both ends, and when it comes down to it, I think that if a person in the relationship feels safer using some sort of barrier methods then that practice gives priority, because safety is more important than sensation.

To make a short story long, many people in this community are not only petrified to have sex after their diagnosis for fear of transmitting the virus, but the thought of having sex without a condom seems almost downright homicide. The reason I do not have anxiety about this choice that my S.O and I have made together is because we are both aware of each other’s status, & have enough information about each other and our thoughts to make decisions for ourselves. I would be completely fine using a condom each time if my S.O desired that, because I care about his safety (not only about not physically contracting HSV, but possible anxiety that it might have caused him worrying about catching it). So when it comes down to it, I do not feel bad about not using condoms because my partner is educated enough about my status to made decisions for himself. If it comes down to it & he does eventually contract HSV, while it would be tough for both of us to deal with, we made an open, honest decision and there is nobody at fault for that.

I love you all.