concert band

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This kid: “I arranged this cool song for a full concert band”

Me: “Wow you’re pretty talented”

This kid: “also the entire concert band is me”

HE’S ACTUALLY GOOD AT EVERY INSTRUMENT, LIKE HE’S NOT JUST HALF-ASSING EVERY INSTRUMENT, HE REALLY KNOWS ALL OF THEM

Dear kids that are starting band for the first time.

Instruments don’t have gender. If you are a boy and you want to play flute. Do it. If you are a girl and you want to play tuba. Do it. No one can tell you that since you are a boy you have to play saxophone, trumpet or another instrument like that. Or since you are a girl you have to play flute, clarinet or some instrument like that. Play whatever you want to. No one can tell you other wise.

  • <p> <b>every talented musician ever:</b> warm up with low, long tones!<p/><b>me:</b> *stumbles through a 2 octave scale in 5 seconds, sneezes, hits head on a brick wall somewhere"<p/></p>
my favorite instrument stereotypes
  • tuba: either too tall or too small, pop culture nerds, enjoy old memes
  • trombone: at once amazingly competent and incompetent. no one else can play their trombone because it is broken in ways only they understand
  • euphonium: the teenaged equivalent of a bitter old man who actually has a heart of gold
  • trumpet: egotistical fucks who care a lot about playing louder than the flutes
  • french horn: the only labrosone above the sin of the brass section. everyone treats them like woodwinds because they essentially are
  • flutes: really want to be first chair, insecure about their musicianship, weep a lot
  • clarinet: like the flutes but better at emotional suppression, wants to make everyone proud
  • saxophone: awesome jazz
  • oboe: the only one who doesn't think their instrument sounds like a duck, nerds
  • bassoon: rich, pretentious, correct other people's grammar
  • percussion: first i bang the drum then i bang your mom, also anger issues probably
every sectional i've ever been in tag yourself
  • the idiot: forgot their music, looking off of someone else
  • the freshman: constantly playing pep tunes
  • the worrier: "guys can we please practice we have like two weeks"
  • the arts-credit: texting their friends in another class
  • the socialite: texting their friends in another section
  • the leader: manages to get the group focussed, only reason anything gets done. there is never more than one of these
  • the student: ignoring everyone else, practicing by them self. perfect
  • the tumblr: wont shut up, tries to convince everyone they're high
  • the bard: takes every opportunity for Story Time
  • person f: *absent*