concern-troll

I’m not even going to address anon directly, because seriously, fuck that guy. 

For the rest of you who may be wondering how I POSSIBLY manage living as a fat person, let me explain how I do it: 

I do it by making time for fun things as often as possible. Like riding carousels while morbidly obese. I  have the gall to do this in front of children. 

I do it by making sure my skin is always moisturized and cleansed. I know it’s shocking, but my glowing, fat face feels great after a seaweed-based exfoliant mask. 

I do it by finding time for my interests and hobbies. I’m an amateur mycologist. You may think it’s frightening for a fat forager to find fungi, but I think it’s fantastic.    

I do it by surrounding myself with wholesome, non-judgmental people. A fat person with friends and family?!? It’s more likely than you think. 

I do it by wearing bright colors and taking any opportunity for a photo shoot. Surprisingly, my fatness hasn’t broken a camera yet. 

I do it by singing loudly and flamboyantly. Much as you’ve been told fat people spend 99% of our time gasping for air, I actually have pretty solid breath control. 

I do it by pursuing my education. Don’t worry, they let me skip the part of the bar exam that asks for your BMI.

I do it by having an adorable, supportive partner. We even make out with the lights ON most of the time! 

I do it by creating safe spaces in my home. I love decorating for holidays and dinner parties. The tinsel really compliments my back rolls! 

I do it by adopting fluffy animal friends. Mr. Fluff here may always have a look of existential dread on his face, but he’s not once had a problem with my weight. 

I do it by spending time in nature. Trees and green spaces are very healing! Yes, even for a fatty like me. 

I do it by making this face at people who tell me that since I’m fat I can’t have all the things I already have. I have the audacity to believe that I will one day accomplish all the important goals I have set out for myself!

I’m a fat person and I have value. 
I’m a fat person and I can realize my dreams. 
I’m a fat person and I have a happy, fulfilling life. 

That’s not going to change no matter how many anons send me hateful messages. 

To all my fat family out there, you deserve a support network of caring people who don’t care about your weight. You deserve to achieve your goals. You deserve respect. You deserve happiness. 

Don’t let anyone tell you differently. 

The Three Laws of Fandom

If you wish to take part in any fandom, you need to accept and respect these three laws.

If you aren’t able to do that, then you need to realise that your actions are making fandom unsafe for creators. That you are stifling creativity.

Like vaccination, fandom only works if everyone respects these rules. Creators need to be free to make their fanart, fanfics and all other content without fear of being harassed or concern-trolled for their creative choices, no matter whether you happen to like that content or not.

The First Law of Fandom

Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR)

It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical.

There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

The Second Law of Fandom

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK)

Simply put, this means that everyone likes different things. It’s not up to you to determine what creators are allowed to create. It’s not up to you to police fandom

If you don’t like something, you can post meta about it or create contrarian content yourself, seek to convert other fans to your way of thinking.  

But you have no right to say to any creator “I do not like this, therefore you should not create it. Nobody should like this. It should not exist.”

It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create. That’s censorship. Don’t do it.

The Third Law of Fandom

Ship And Let Ship (SALS)

Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.

It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.

You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.

It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.

These three laws add up to the following:

You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.

Be courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.

anonymous asked:

You took my ask down a different route. Females get specific illnesses different from males vise versa. So if you do not say you are a male or female but became a different GENDER then, you are putting your health at risk. Gender is not biological sex. Sex is anatomy. Different anatomys get different health issues and illnesses. So, you calling me a terf is uncalled for considering I'm actually speaking up facts that need to be brought up to all trans people.

I think I explained plenty that trans people don’t lie about their body, and get health care they need  for  it.


And that the problem lays not with trans people, but with healt care providers and insurances who won’t treat trans people for their specific bodyparts because they are hung up on  -man  can not have vaginas and  women can not have dicks-nonsense.

That you have the chuzpe to not only imply that trans people lie  to their health care provider about their body parts, but also that trans people don’t know the health risks  that come with their bodyparts… and you think they need your fake concern and  half washed wisdom!


There are dozens of trans sites  where  their specific health needs are spoken about.
If you really were concerned, you would have looked at those, asked,or asked here..hey..what about trans health.

No, you asked us if we think it is okay when trans people lie to their health care provider.

You come here to us and say trans people lie about their health and have no knowledge about their body or health needs. How dare you!


If you had an ounce of true knowledge about trans health, for example you would know about trans women on hrt having the same, or even higher risk for breast cancer as cis women.

But you don’t really care about trans women, do you?
And you and your ‘concern’ is infantilizing trans men as 'women who have no idea about their body-uwu’

If you had any true concern for trans people, you would have checked trans specific sites and asked, instead of coming here and saying that trans people lie and  have no idea about health as if that was a fact.

Your fake concern about 'poor confused women who don’t get pap smears and breast exams because they think they are men, a real, true womyn has to save them and lead them back to the light!’  can go where the sun does not shine.

You might  pack your so called facts in fake concern.
But it is clear with your use of female, lack of concern for male, saying trans people have no idea about their 'true body’ and the whole sex vs gender thing that you are a terf.

No matter in how much sugar you roll your shit, it stays shit.

Here is the link to the old shit by the way.

anonymous asked:

Do you realize that being fat isn't always good? I mean if you're still healthy it's fine but once it gets to point it starts becoming a health problem. It's not good for that to happen right? Do you want people to slowly waste away and die of heart disease? They're basically killing themselves and it's not a perfect comparison but if you meet a self garner do you want them to stop?

HUZZAH! This is my first psuedo-intellectual anon hate. And my-oh-me, it’s a doozy. I love the condescending “gotchya” tone in this, as if anon is asking ground-breaking, mind-blowing questions and not the same bullshit concern-trolling that has been debunked over and over again. But I’ll indulge anon’s ignorance for the moment, if only so that I have a comprehensive response to link to other fatphobic assholes in the future. 

Put simply, my dear anon, your questions are silly, and you should feel bad about how ignorant, hateful, and fatphobic you come off in this ask.


1. Health is a complex concept that is dependent on many individualized factors. Similarly, weight is complex and depends on many factors completely out of an individual’s control, including genetics, poverty and food insecurity, and trauma history. Neither exercise nor a “healthy” diet result in long term weight loss. 

2. Weight is a really inaccurate, non-evidence based proxy for the concept of health. Hate to break it to you, but the BMI is bullshit, and overweight and obese people actually have lower mortality rates than people in the “normal” category. Yes, you read right, evidence shows that being fat can be good for your health. 

3. Heart disease has links to several risk factors, and “overweightness” by itself does not reliably predict heart disease. In fact, some evidence suggests fat people are better able to survive cardiac events than thin people. Correlation is not causation, yes, even with conditions such as type 2 diabetes mellitus, so it is incorrect to say that having a lot of adipose tissue directly causes illness of any type. Being fat is not per se unhealthy. Additionally, invisible disabilities and illnesses exist, which precludes you from knowing whether ANY given person, whether they are thin or fat, is “healthy”. 

4. Based on 1,2, and 3, it’s clear that you have no idea what someone’s health-status is simply by looking at them. You have no idea whether someone’s weight is “killing them” or causing them to “slowly waste away”, and all the evidence suggests that it’s simply inaccurate to say being fat is enough, by itself, to kill someone. 

5. Linking someone’s health to their moral goodness or worth is inherently ableist. If someone is fat and unhealthy they are still a human being worthy of love and respect. If someone is fat and disabled they are still a human being worthy of love and respect. If someone is fat and eats nothing but “junk food” and never exercises THEY ARE STILL A HUMAN BEING WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT.  

6. Shaming people into the weight loss you deem to be “appropriate” does not work and actually leads to increased weight gain and a myriad of negative outcomes (more discussed in 7 and 8). For example, the “War on Obesity” has been linked to increased disordered eating in pre-pubescent children.  Harm reduction and trauma-informed, client-centered care works better than the shaming, 12-step, crash-diet, “I know more about what’s better for your health than you do” bullshit. 

7. Mental illness kills tens of thousands of people in the United States every year, and shaming someone’s body size under the guise of “health concern” has empirically proven negative outcomes on mental health

8. Fat stigma in the medical establishment and society at large arguably kills more fat people than fat does. Attempts to “correct” fatness such as repeated dieting and “lifestyle changes” have been shown to have negative health outcomes.  

9. Of all the complex health and mortality risk factors that exist, fat seems to be the only one that you care about. Why aren’t you yelling at people you see driving cars or smoking? Probably because your “health concern” for fat people is just thinly veiled fatphobia.

10. THE HEALTH STATUS OF OTHER PEOPLE IS NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS ANYWAY. Right to privacy in personal medical concerns is like, one of those inherent human right things that we have all these laws protecting to the point that it’s a crime to share someone’s private medical information without their consent.  

In conclusion, this fat ass is off to eat some cake, cuddle my cats, kiss my partner, and love my fat body just the way it is. 

People like to pretend that society’s obsession with dieting and weight loss are about health, but it’s not healthy at all. 

There is absolutely nothing healthy about young girls learning that their worth comes from how small their waist is. So many girls (not just women, girls) have disordered eating thanks to our obsession with weight loss. There is nothing healthy about little girls hating their bodies. 

It has nothing to do with health, that’s just a way to hide our hatred of fat people. Diet culture kills people.

People arguing that the poor shouldn’t have kids and that benefits should be cut from kids in families with “too many kids” are being super obvious that they don’t think of poor people as fully human.  And also that they’re into genocide (it’s not like we live in a world where poverty, deprivation, and lack of access to resources is evenly distributed across all racial/ethnic groups and we all fucking know that).

Rights like being able to have a family, to raise children, to continue our families and cultures are basic parts of human rights that people should be able to choose to engage in (or not, if that’s their preference, but they shouldn’t be coerced not to).

Banning someone from having kids or starting a family or coercing them not to is an incredibly cruel thing to do to someone.  And that’s what people are doing when they suggest poor people shouldn’t have kids.  Rich people and classist assholes act like the choice is between having kids in poverty or having kids not in poverty and that’s just not how things go in reality.  Most people born in poverty will remain in poverty or close to it.  The choice to have kids and start a family outside of poverty is one denied to most people.

And don’t concern troll about the welfare of poor kids if you’re trying to cut their food, housing, education, etc. and if you see them as garbage drains on society.  Concern for poor children is totally fucking unrelated to ruling class desires to control poor people and to victim blame poor people for poverty.

Poor people having kids isn’t what creates poverty, poverty is the result of systematic exploitation and a fucked up inhumane system.  Kids born to the poor are as valuable and human as any other child, and poor people have as much rights to things like having a family as any other human being.

my problem with the whole ‘mogai hell’ thing is the faux-caring attitude people employ when they talk about it. like they’ll talk about how the 'mogai community’ is damaging to questioning gay people, or lesbians, or bi people, because it might convince them they’re, like, 'abroromantic sapphoaesthetic womasexual’ instead of just being a lesbian.

so they’re worried that mogai might cause young lgb people to have internalized homophobia. ok. but then, how do they approach these young people who are identifying as whatever identity they’ve determined is 'mogai hell’ today? do they show these young people understanding or compassion?

no. they screenshot their blogs to make fun of them, they participate in 'cringe culture’, they make troll blogs where they jokingly adopt these 'mogai hell’ identities, and they make frequent mean-spirited jokes about 'cringey’ 14 year olds calling themselves autochorissexual. so they clearly don’t actually care about young people with internalized homophobia, or they wouldn’t be loudly mocking them like this. they just want to bully people. it’s concern trolling at its finest, and it’s pretty transparent.

anonymous asked:

How old do you reckon you'll live to? Considering your death fat status and all. I'd be amazed if you made it to old age, you certainly wouldn't deserve it. So many young healthy people die for reasons out of their control, and yet idiots like you who destroy their body are allowed to live. Shame.

I appreciate how you start out as a regular concern troll, yet prove you’re just an angry, endlessly sad individual by the end.

The shame isn’t in my being “allowed” to live. The shame is that you’re wasting your life attempting to justify your bitter, small-minded hatred by sending vitriol to people online. To what end? How’s this working for you?

Since in some circles I am considered “old” now, let me grant you some sage advice. Take of it what you will, discard the rest.

You are given a finite time on this planet. You may have been mistreated by the people who raised you, your love may have left, your community may have turned its back on you, or maybe even your best friend betrayed you. In fact, you may be living the worst that any country song could provide. Hell, even your dog doesn’t like the smell of your feet. All disappointing situations, right?

Yet, each day you awake, you are given opportunities to change the world, to do the right thing – to treat others with respect, compassion, understanding, and love. It takes no more effort to do these than all of the misdeeds that have been done to you.

Writing what you sent to me took no more effort than writing a sweet message to someone who you appreciate. So why did you spread your anger my way? Why not attempt to flip the switch and send a message to someone free of vitriolic pus?

Every day, you can produce positive energy to make someone smile. Why not do it?? You could pick out any number of Tumblr’s blogs that you appreciate. Send them a message of support. Bring your neighbor a peck of apples. Send a friend a note about a dream you had about them. Make a funny face at the kid who made a funny face at you from the back window of a car.

So many simple ways to bring happiness or even just a little positivity to the world. You can change that country song around! Baby steps, my friend, I know you can do it.

I want to know why people who think that sex work is bad think that sex work, the act of exchanging sex for something of concrete value, is so much worse than casual hookups, people having sex to procreate, drunk sex, breakup sex, sex you have because you want to feel closer, and all the other weird reasons people have sex–sex to just get losing your virginity over with!–so much worse than all these reasons and ways of having sex.

Talking to other sex workers and people in harm reduction, we keep encountering the idea that sex work is more “high risk” than any other kind of sex except gay sex.

This is demonstrably untrue, however. When sex workers are given the tools to have safer sex, we have exponentially lower rates of sti infection that the surrounding population of civilians of pretty much any age.

Sex workers need protections from civilians, not the other way around.

I understand that a lot of people think sex should ONLY be had in the context of a loving and committed monogamous romantic relationship, but relationships end. At a certain point (say, 2017) divorce rates and breakup rates and hookup culture all combine to make the censure of sex work seem truly hypocritical and ludicrous. So many people are having so many kinds of meaningless sex for stupid reasons, but it’s adult women, trying to leverage the one thing society agrees that we have of value, that need to be protected from themselves.

But take it to the logical legislative conclusions.

Can we really be sure that drunk co-eds can be trusted to make good decisions about who to have sex with? what if in two weeks they find out the person they were sleeping with was LYING to them and sleeping with other people? what if he was doing it without condoms? That’s pretty fucking rude and unethical, shouldn’t we protect young women from this all too common scenario? CAN we? what does that look like?

What about a couple having sex to get pregnant when neither of them is really feeling it but they both want a baby?

Under Oregon law, a stay at home housewife having sex with her husband who pays her bills and mortgage, is trafficked.

And it’s frankly shameful that people criminalise adults under the guise of concern trolling about sexually exploited children when they aren’t lobbying even close to as hard to a total reboot of the child welfare system–Texas’s CPS system recently made international headlines after human rights abuses so bad they make Minnesota’s or Oregon’s look fine. (I’m being bitterly hilarious, the abuses of different cps systems are never fine).
People are willing to support misogynist and racist abuses overseas and at home (TPP, H&M, Goodwill) and they’re willing to close their eyes to child abuse in the the very system made to protect them, but they love to jerk off to the idea of exploited people and being the magical white saviours of fragile exploited women and children. it’s this ONE SPECIFIC CONTEXT they love to circle jerk about.

They don’t give a damn about other kinds of slavery, they don’t publicise instances of it, they don’t organise against it, they don’t support sex workers trying to organise to aid vulnerable people. they genuinely JUST care about this one aspect of sexuality, regardless of how interconnected all misogynist and racist abuses are and the realities of survival under global capitalism.

I think it’s amazing. Just amazing. In one hundred years, nothing has changed except to become worse for poor people around the world, but the middle class is still more concerned about legislating adult women’s sexuality than real change that would protect vulnerable people.

There’s this dude on Twitter who asked Wendy’s how many retweets for a lifetime supply of chicken nuggets, and they were like 18 million, and there are people actually helping him, talking about “Help this man get his nuggets”, which is interesting.

I can’t help but to think if a fat person did that, they’d be attacked and sent lectures of false health concern about fast food being the reason they’re fat, so they don’t need it.

Matter of fact, most of the people celebrating fast food that I come across are thin people. And for one I don’t do the “ Lets condemn fast food” thing. If people want a burger and fries for whatever reason, let them enjoy it.

But it’s interesting to me how people’s view of food and who consumes what is also fat phobic. It’s the outdated unscientific belief that small automatically= good, and big automatically= bad. So in fatphobic’s minds they’re thinking “Oh he or she isn’t big or that big, so they can’t possibly eat like that every day” opposed to when they see a bigger person and immediately assume that since they’re big, they must eat that all the time.

A thin or smaller person person talking about eating a whole pizza is cute, a fat person talking about enjoying a vanilla cone is met with condemnation and fat shaming, with and abundance of concern trolling.

alright Shiro fans listen up

i know season 3 was something of a sucker punch for a lot of us. Shiro was completely gone, and when he did come back he was… wrong. i think most of us can agree that the Shiro we got back wasn’t the Real Shiro - not the Shiro we’ve known and loved for two seasons. however you feel about Clone-Shiro or Kuron or The Winter Paladin (whatever you want to call him), he’s not our Shiro. Our Shiro is still out there somewhere, and we still don’t know where he is and what happened to him, and that’s really tough and i miss our adorable confused dork a whole heck of a lot.

it doesn’t help that the run-up to this season was marked by a lot of fans arguing for such-and-such a character to permanently take over as Black Paladin. as if Shiro was only ever a stop-gap Paladin, or a placeholder for someone else. Shiro disappeared and whilst Shiro stans spent the hiatus desperately wondering if he was okay and coming back, other fans spent their time arguing for their own fave to take Shiro’s spot on the team. i had to endure a lot of meta explaining how Shiro was a “bad leader” and why some other character (usually Keith, let’s be honest) was actually much better suited to be Black Paladin and leader of Voltron. i had to endure a lot of concern-trolling along the lines of “Shiro will be much happier if he doesn’t have to lead! being a Paladin hurts him! he needs to step down so he can rest!”

and then season 3 dropped and it seemed to play out exactly as those people wanted. Keith got to lead Voltron and pilot the Black Lion. “Shiro” came back and named Keith as the “true Paladin” of Black. Team Voltron got a reshuffle, and there was no room in the new line-up for Shiro.

that hurt a lot. i’m not gonna lie about that. after all the build-up and development we got for Shiro and the Black Lion over the first two seasons, the pain of seeing her reject Shiro - even as a fake clone version of him - is very real and very raw.

however.

i stand by the meta i have written about Shiro and the Black Lion. i stand by all of it. there are multiple signs and clear pointers across the first two seasons of Voltron that confirm, very clearly, that Shiro is the Black Lion’s true Paladin and the rightful leader of Voltron. and there are plenty of signs in season 3 that Keith is not the rightful Paladin of the Black Lion.

look at how much Keith struggled with piloting Black the first time he flew her, and how hard he found it to form Voltron. Shiro didn’t have that problem. he could fly the Black Lion straight away - just like Keith could fly the Red Lion straight away. because Keith is made for Red, and Shiro is made for Black, and Shiro is made to lead Voltron - which is why he was able to rally the team and form Voltron the first time he ever flew his Lion.

he’s a natural. a natural for Black Paladin and a natural for leader of Voltron.

Shiro and the Black Lion did not go through all the bonding and heartache and struggle they did over the first two seasons just so Shiro could step aside for someone else. Keith has not bonded with Black the way Shiro has. he never will - because he can’t. she’s not his Lion. his true Lion is Red, and eventually he will end up piloting the Red Lion again - and he’ll be much happier for it, because Red actually suits him and works well with him and gets him.

i know in my bones that Shiro is the only true Black Paladin and the only rightful leader of Voltron. i’m confident that he will be back on the show eventually, and that when he’s back he’ll once again be the Black Paladin and leader. that scene where he retrieves his bayard from Zarkon doesn’t lie. it’s powerful and meaningful and it illustrates very clearly that Shiro is the one true Paladin of the Black Lion. there is no debate about this. 

Shiro is the only true Black Paladin. i’ll say it as many times as it takes. i’ll scream it into the void if i have to. 

Shiro is gone for now, and in his absence a lot of people are going to argue that he’s a terrible leader and Keith is doing a much better job of it, or that Not Shiro is somehow “better” than the Shiro we know and love because he stood aside for Keith, or that Shiro when he comes back will be “happier” and “better suited” to flying a different Lion or not flying a Lion at all.

those people are wrong. we know they’re wrong. Shiro’s rightful place on the team is in the Black Lion, leading Voltron. again: i’ll say it as many times as it takes.

but Shiro isn’t around right now to prove that it’s true. we only have Not Shiro, and the memory of Shiro from seasons 1 and 2. people can say what they like about him right now and can’t defend himself because he’s not in the show and the team seems to be very much going along without him.

but i’m not going to let people slander Shiro in his absence. i’m not going to let people drag him down and criticise him and sideline him and call him useless and worthless and a spare wheel.

Shiro needs us right now. he’s been a source of comfort and validation and reassurance and healing for a lot of us in the two seasons we’ve had him on the show - and now he’s gone and people are coming for him hard in his absence and he needs us. he needs us to step up and push back and not let people slander his character whilst they hand his role to someone else. we need to defend him and praise him and name him for what he is: the Black Paladin, the decisive head of Voltron, the leader of the team and the only true pilot of the Black Lion.

he’d do the same for any one of us. now we have to do the same for him. we can’t give up on him. we have to keep fighting, just like Shiro would.

so until the new season drops in October, i will defend Shiro with my life. i will post as much positive Shiro content as i can, and i’ll be tagging everything as ‘black paladin shiro’ - because that’s who Shiro is. and anyone who wants to come at me and tell me that Shiro isn’t the real leader and he’s not the real Black Paladin is gonna get hit with every single word of meta i’ve ever written about Shiro and the Black Lion and Shiro’s importance to the team and the show and the fans.

i’m not gonna sit here and take it. Shiro would want us to fight, and that’s what i’m going to do.

Shiro is the only true Black Paladin, and anyone who wants to argue otherwise can meet me in the pit

anonymous asked:

hi! this is a bit of a strange question but i was wondering: how do you deal with fandom frustration? when you love fandom content but frequently feel frustrated by a large portion of the fan base? i'm a fandom baby in a lot of ways and sometimes though i feel like a jerk, it's so hard not to let other people overpower my experience. i love hearing your thoughts on everything in general, but. if you have the time i'd love to hear your thoughts on this as well. hope you have a nice day. :)

hmm! this is a great question and one I’m not 100% sure of how to answer, because for the most part I have had very positive fandom experiences. but when it comes to making your fandom experience as relaxed & fun as possible, here are my tips:

1) accept right now and forever that everyone does fandom differently, and everyone is in fandom for different reasons and to get different things out of it. it doesn’t matter if people don’t ship what you ship. it doesn’t matter if they write stories of which the summary makes you recoil in horror. they are not doing this at you. accept that you are going to do you, and everyone else is going to do themselves, and unless their shit spills over into your personal space (see point 3)) then there is literally no point in trying to control the fannish experience that anyone else is having. fandom’s a large space! there’s room for everyone! 

so the thing to do is:

2) CURATE YOUR FANNISH EXPERIENCE. I’ve been doing this since ye olde days of livejournal and do it even more intensely now. essentially: find the people you like, and the parts of fandom you like, and carve out your own corners where you can hang with like-minded people. you don’t have to be right in the thick of it, reading everything, interacting with everything and everyone. you don’t have to track all the tags which are crammed full of stuff that annoys you. you can take it slowly, and be discerning.

if you want to read meta, find the people who write it and follow them. ditto art. learn to embrace ao3’s excellent search function, and to use a tumblr blacklist. if you want to read fic and are bemoaning the fact that none of it is quite what you want: write your own! enthuse about your ideas on tumblr! leave prompts on kinkmemes! befriend some writers! I have to admit I am still pretty lost when it comes making friends on tumblr because the etiquette is bizarre and variable, but hey: the messaging system exists, askboxes exist, comments on ao3 exist. sure, different people have different levels of openness to making new bosom friends, but nobody minds being engaged. we’re in fandom to be fannish, together. 

3) if people are being jerks in your space, block ‘em. ignore ‘em. delete ‘em. I am not even remotely internet famous enough to be at risk of being deluged by trolls, but on the rare occasions that I’ve engaged in good faith and subsequently decided that I was being concern-trolled, I’ve noped cheerfully out of there. the few accusatory or unpleasant anon (because they’re always anon!) messages that have landed in my inbox, I’ve deleted without batting an eye. sometimes I share it with a friend via chat or email and we have a laugh about it, and that helps settle any residual hurt or irritation that I might feel. I’m a grown fucking woman. I keep a calm sympathetic face while being shouted at, cried on, confided in, manipulated, and projected onto, for a living. and I have zero qualms about policing the boundaries of the spaces I’ve carved out for myself–the fun, creative, relaxing, incredible places–in fandom.

4) manage your entitlement. just remind yourself every so often that nobody owes you the next chapter of that story, or the exact piece of art you want to see, or the paragraph-long comment, or the attention you crave, or the whole-hearted agreement you seek. remember that everyone has their own lives, and you’re never seeing the full picture. be gracious. be kind. try to resist the urge to snipe and snark and finger-point and complain in public; I enjoy a bit of fandom bitching as much as the next person, but I inflict it all on my friends, in chat.

5) the flipside of this is: show appreciation of the things you like. comment on that story. reblog that art with a furious tag spiral of capslock (creators LOVE tag spirals). put together a rec list–this is also a great way to show people what kind of things you like, so people who share your tastes know who to gravitate towards.

if you are frequently frustrated by a large portion of the fanbase, anon, then ask yourself: are you reading the comments? ie. are you making yourself engage with parts of fandom where people have THE WRONG OPINIONS and are writing your beloved characters THE WRONG WAY? if so: just scroll past. don’t read it. unless you really enjoy an argument, don’t feel obliged to reblog it with a detailed explanation of why they’re wrong: you’re gonna frustrate yourself and, yes, maybe end up looking like a jerk. just shrug and move on. maybe this isn’t the corner for you.

I have been following my own advice in this regard for almost 14 years. I’ve kept a handful of enduring and awesome friends from most of the major fandoms I’ve been part of, and I’m still making new ones, and I’ve (mostly) managed to avoid wank. I write what I like, and I read what I like, and I try to communicate generously and enthusiastically with people who are creating the things that I enjoy.

tl;dr - seek out the things that make you feel good, and follow them. weed out the things that make you feel bad, and ignore them. it’s fandom. it can be as serious or unserious as you like, but it IS supposed to be fun.

neoliberals: I don’t know why black people are so outraged about the latest outrageous racist thing against black people, when we should obviously be more concerned with the thing that white people are outraged about. Really, don’t we have more important things to be concerned with right now?

me: Why do they always try to concern troll us, and imply that our valid grievances are divisive, minor distractions? Unless it’s another black person being murdered by cops, why are we always expected to put our issues on the back burner to rally around whatever white people decide is “more” important? Black people are perfectly capable of being concerned with multiple issues simultaneously. We can be concerned with Bill Maher’s casual racism, and “allies” who used prison slave labor, and lack of media representation, and Donald Trump, all at the same time. It’s dismissive and paternalistic when people suggest otherwise

anonymous asked:

Did Bucky really train Natasha as a child in the Red Room? Is their relationship bad because they were brainwashed and couldn't consent?

Short answer: No and no.

Long answer: In the comic books (also known as the MU or as Earth-616), Natasha was born in either 1927 or 1928, making her only 2-3 years younger than Bucky, who was born in 1925.

Black Widow: Deadly Origin #1

Captain America #50

So when they trained together in the Red Room in 1956/1957, Natasha was 29 years old. This is Natasha when they trained together - not a child, but a full-grown adult woman:

Captain America & Bucky #624

As to your second question, that has been a long-running lie turned fandom myth that is based on a deliberate and purposefully misreading of the text. Yes, Bucky and possibly Natasha had already undergone Comic Book Science™ brain tapering prior to the start of their unauthorized romantic relationship in the Red Room. 

But here’s the thing - they both knew that a romantic relationship would be unauthorized and forbidden by Department X and that if they were to engage in a romantic relationship with the other, they would both be severely punished for it. 

So despite knowing all of this, they both still decided it was worth risking it to be together:

Captain America #27

Captain America & Bucky #624

The Winter Soldier even went as far as lying to his handler when directly confronted about the relationship:

Captain America & Bucky #624

They both chose to be in that relationship. The concern trolls that try to claim otherwise do so by ignoring the fact that they both actively made a choice here and that choice was each other. And since most of those concern trolls care more about Bucky than Natasha, it should be noted that they are actually denying him the agency of the only real choice he made for himself as the Winter Soldier. 

anonymous asked:

hi. i don't know what to do. in 2014, i had a severe bout of gastroparesis that in less than 9 months took me down from 290lbs to 175lbs. eventually after another 3-5 months i hit 145lbs. i felt awful generally from the illness and complications but looked amazing. people looked at me and in a positive manner. even my mom complimented me every day but now i weigh 260 again. i gain 10 or so pounds every month. i feel terrible. i don't want to feel terrible but people only like me skinny :(

People are assholes. That’s all I can say! I know exactly how you feel and it sucks. I had a similar condition in 2015.

I’ll tell you what I was told when I was gaining weight during recovery from my own persistent illness – focus on your true indicators of health. How is your energy now? Your pain? How is your sleeping and stamina? How is your eating? How is your digestion? If these things are all getting better each month, then your body is healing. Your weight will do what it needs to  do to support your return to health. Your job is to be kind and compassionate to yourself during this process.

As for the nasty comments, preparing a scripted response may help. Your mileage may vary but I would say: “I’m not actually interested in your opinion on my appearance. I am feeling stronger and healthier every day, maybe you can appreciate that instead?”

anonymous asked:

I never said fat was unhealthy. All I said was that obesity was an epidemic. Since I can't include links in asks, I could just tell you to google it yourself. But I know you won't since it goes against your agenda of disregarding science and medicine because it hurts your feelings.

The obesity ‘crisis’ is a myth

The big fat myths of our ‘obesity epidemic’

An Epidemic of Obesity Myths

5 Reasons Why Everything You Think You Know About Obesity Is Wrong

Overblown rhetoric about the “obesity epidemic” has itself reached epidemic proportions. 

6 Must-Read Expert Perspectives That Destroy the War on Obesity

Researchers urge rethink over anti-obesity efforts

You’re right. Google was very helpful.

-Mod Bella 

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about people claiming that in marrying Bruce, Selina's character will be ruined? I of course see that argument as odd, seeing that she's said numerous times in the past that she wants to be happy, and with that, settling down and having a family. Do you truly think that would waver who Selina is?

You already know that I don’t. I wrote about my thoughts on Selina and family and marriage awhile ago and you can read about it here. Linking it seems like such a cop out but it’s pretty long. On that note I will say this: when people have brought up the idea that getting married would ruin her character I had no idea what they were talking about until I read this. Warning: do not read unless you can afford a spike in blood pressure.

Most notably this critic is says this:

She is a thief.  She is a thrill seeker.  For her, it’s all about the hunt.

And this little gem right here:

I see so many people on social media saying how romantic this is.  It makes me wonder.  Is this just a knee jerk reaction to seeing two long time lovers finally getting together?  Have people really even taken the time to analyze this relationship?  Or, are the ones shipping this the kind of people that value need over want?

Eye roll to the fullest. As a Batcat blogger I take that as a personal challenge. Yes, we have taken the time to analyze this relationship and we have almost 80 years of material to go on and I’ve come with the receipts. 

I suppose this is what most people are referring to when they say that Catwoman’s character would be “ruined” if she got married. Those who are saying that are grossly oversimplifying her character and missing an important part of Catwoman’s development as a character. It reduces Catwoman to just a thief and that does her such a huge disservice. It has been true across multiple versions and media that, Catwoman does not always want to be defined as a thief. That thrill of thievery that they’re referring to, and Selina has said this herself multiple times, wears off. Thieving and other criminal activity has gotten her thrown in prison, almost killed, and she’s had to fake her death a couple of times because of it (as recently as Future’s End). The criminal lifestyle has almost ruined her life and eventually it ends up making her feel empty and trapped. 

Going back to the Bronze Age after Selina spends some time in prison for her crimes as Catwoman once she’s paroled she wants to move on and distance herself from her past. (Batman #308)

Later on during a meeting with Bruce she tries to disguise herself because she worries that being seen in public with her will hurt his reputation and cause a scandal. (Batman #313) 

Skipping ahead to the Pre-Flashpoint era Catwoman’s second on-going series was all about her reforming and becoming the defender of Gotham’s east end. In the very first issue of her series we get a lot from Selina’s perspective on why she does it. To really understand you’ll have to read her first on-going series because a lot of stuff went down towards the end of it that makes Selina disenchanted by the criminal lifestyle. At the beginning of her second series she can’t even bring herself to put on the costume because it’s brought her so much suffering and she feels defined by what she considers to be past mistakes. (Catwoman [v3] #1)

I don’t think that Selina thinks that marriage is the end all be all, but I definitely don’t think that it’s something that she’d completely rule out either. In fact I think that Selina hasn’t seriously considered it because she just never thought that it was an option for her. It’s funny to me that so many people think that Selina is strictly anti-marriage when 1) she’s never said that before and there’s nothing in canon to indicate that she feels that way and 2) some versions of her have expressed a desire to have a family. 

I wrote about this in my previous post but from Catwoman’s second series while Selina steals an ancient dollhouse she talks about her childhood and mourns the loss of her family and the fact that she missed out on that stability growing up. I think that indicates that there is some kind desire to regain that. (Catwoman [v2] #39)

There it is–Everything I’ve always wanted. Everything I’ve never had…Preserved over millennia in perfect condition. Priceless miniature. Stable family.

Emphasis mine. I also can’t stress enough that Catwoman’s Earth-2 counterpart point blank said that she wanted a family and a new life badly enough that she came up with some ludicrous lie about having amnesia in order to obtain it, but she thought it was too late. Earth-2 Catwoman ends up marrying Batman and having a child. The Brave and the Bold #197 was all about Bruce and Selina’s desire to start a new life and finding happiness with each other. In the Bronze Age version Bruce and Selina both retire to raise their daughter together and in the latest version they raise her as a crime fighter. That proves that marriage doesn’t “trap” Selina by any means. She did however feel trapped being Catwoman.

Still not convinced? Okay. I know that The Dark Knight Rises isn’t everyone’s favorite version of Catwoman, but something Christopher Nolan got right… Selina Kyle is introduced as a thief but she’s working for Daggett with the promise that she’ll be compensated with a software that will allow her to erase her criminal record which she wants to use to start a new life. She tells Bruce:

I started out doing what I had to. Once you’ve done what you’ve had to they’ll never let you do what you want to…There’s no fresh start in today’s world. Any twelve year old with a cell phone can find out what you did. 

In Batman: The Telltale Series Selina has an excellent dialogue with Bruce about her criminal career where she lays it all out. She says:

You’re a good man, Bruce. But good men don’t lie with thieves.I know what I am. No noble intentions, just the thrill of breaking what they say can’t be broken. Knowing there’s no safe I can’t crack, no fortress I can’t infiltrate. Proving I can… I’ve stolen from corrupt jerks like Hill, but I’ve taken plenty from good people too. And for what? Some shiny new toys and a crappy apartment on the edge of town? The high is nice but it wears off. And you look around and see…nothing. So you get back out there. Try and chase that feeling down, but it never amounts to anything really.

What has remained true about Selina in the comic books and other media is that she begins her life as a thief, but eventually she wants out but she feels defined by it. She feels like she has no other choice but to keep going. People really look down on Catwoman because she’s a criminal. She gets really dismissed as just some thief. This is something that Selina internalizes and is insecure about. Selina doesn’t always think that she’s a good person and that she can’t be anything other than a thief and a criminal. The idea that all Catwoman wants to do is live a dangerous life of chaos and crime is exactly the type of label she very often tries to break away from. 

The argument that Selina shouldn’t get married because she’ll feel trapped is ironic considering that there’s a lot canonical evidence that she actually feels trapped by The Life™ and it just reeks of concern trolling. Somehow people think that risking imprisonment and death and being defined as a criminal is a more preferable outcome than marriage. 

Catwoman is a character that’s always reinventing herself and always looking for a second chance. I don’t think that that always means marriage and family, but I don’t see why it can’t especially since it’s never been done in the main continuity before. 

I’m not going to bother addressing an argument that Bruce and Selina have a one sided relationship, because it’s obvious nonsense and I’ve dedicated many a blog posts already refuting that. I suggest going through my tags if you really want to know, but I will say this because I think it’s crucial: in spite of everything that people say and think about Catwoman and what she often thinks of herself Batman never stops believing in her. 

Batman has been a constant presence in her life and more often than not it’s his unwavering belief that deep down she’s a good person that inspires her to see the good in herself and get the second chance she so desperately seeks. Whether it’s inspiring her to become the whip wielding defender for Gotham’s most disenfranchised, running off to France, or starting a family. Batman and Catwoman have found a lot of happiness in each other so I find the idea that marriage would “ruin” Catwoman’s character to be, quite frankly, absurd.

Batman and Catwoman have been together for 77 years. It’s just time.

“If fat people just ate less calories, then they’d lose weight.”

Oh honey. Let me explain to you a little thing called set point. The set point is the theory that our bodies weight is predetermined at birth by outside factors. Such as our genetics and environment. When your body becomes accustom to a certain weight it will do everything in it’s power to stay at that weight. Like changing your hormone levels to increase appetite. Not everyone is meant to be a size 2, an that’s ok. Instead of us forcing others to conform to our social standards by shaming them, lets learn to embrace everyone’s differences and understand them.