conceited post for the day

Just a casual reminder

Just because I post a lot of selfies/post workout pics does not mean I’m conceited or even confident.

Every day is a struggle for me to find things about my body that I like. Every selfie I post feels like a lie. I look at these pictures and feel like it’s someone else’s body, because the body I see when I look in the mirror is gross. I literally have to tell myself that I’m not fat… I see small love handles and instantly my hips are biggest part of my body. Not only am I dealing with dysphoria but I’m also dealing with dysmorphia… My selfies are my little triumphs. It’s a snapshot of the tiny moment in which I felt comfortable enough in my body to take an actual picture rather than tell myself I’m fat and leave the room.

Mirrors make me uncomfortable. I’m convinced that I’m fat. That no matter how much I workout or run its all for nothing.

That’s why I post so many selfies/post workout pics. To remind myself that I AM making progress. That eventually maybe I won’t have such a distorted view of my body.