Just because I post a lot of selfies/post workout pics does not mean I’m conceited or even confident.
Every day is a struggle for me to find things about my body that I like. Every selfie I post feels like a lie. I look at these pictures and feel like it’s someone else’s body, because the body I see when I look in the mirror is gross. I literally have to tell myself that I’m not fat… I see small love handles and instantly my hips are biggest part of my body. Not only am I dealing with dysphoria but I’m also dealing with dysmorphia… My selfies are my little triumphs. It’s a snapshot of the tiny moment in which I felt comfortable enough in my body to take an actual picture rather than tell myself I’m fat and leave the room.
Mirrors make me uncomfortable. I’m convinced that I’m fat. That no matter how much I workout or run its all for nothing.
That’s why I post so many selfies/post workout pics. To remind myself that I AM making progress. That eventually maybe I won’t have such a distorted view of my body.
This day always makes me so happy! It’s not about the notes man. For the most part I get “conceited” on this day because I see everyone posting their selfies and I feel like I get the OK to do that too! I have real appearance issues probably 90% of the time. I don’t look like the girls & women that get thousands of likes but on days like today I feel comfortable posting a bunch of my selfies. I love these days on tumblr. I know a lot of people feel it’s all about the notes, but I legitimately get happy just seeing all my beautiful black people. ✊🏾