What people hear:
I can resolve any tech issue you have ever or will ever have on any machine that exists in this universe. I am jacked into the Matrix at all times. I am the IT god. Look upon me and despair.
What I mean:
Sometimes I try to tell the computer to do something and I cry when it doesn't work.
Genre: Expecting Parents AU / Fluff and Non-explicit smut.
Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.
Count: 9,656 words.
The second is a little faint, but it is there, undeniably there, growing stronger by the second as your heart sinks deeper into the pit of your stomach and suddenly you are keeling over the sink, throwing up a combination of panic and regret. You wipe your mouth, sit back on the closed lid of the toilet, shut your eyes and take a deep breath, holding it until your lungs burn and your lashes fly back apart to look at the test still shaking between your fingertips.
There, right before your eyes, two fucking blue lines protruding like two middle fingers, poking up at you and saying – Congratulations sucker, you are pregnant!
Twenty-three years old and pregnant.
You throw up again.
This has got to be the biggest mistake of your life.
I woke up at 5:30am. Worked out. Showered. Ate a decent breakfast. Meditated. And was on-time to my 8:00am Computational Physics class. Revised notes and commented my code immediately after lecture. I even had time to ask my professor minor (but still important) questions I wanted to clarify. Great start to the day.
I am always too excited for classes on the first day. And it probably showed. When my Instrumental Analysis professor mentioned she had to explain some general QM I said, “Woo!” and pumped my fist. I was basically vibrating during my Science and Religion class because my professor is an astrophysicist and was talking about cool physics stuff. I laughed too loudly at something my QM professor said (and no one else laughed).
I know no one cares but me, most likely. But it’s still awkward to be that embarrassingly excited about the start of the semester when pretty much no one else is. Thanks, hypomania. But at least it’s predictable.
That somewhat annoying slog of necessary administrative work has definitely begun. I’ve spent more time than I’d prefer on things like email and organization today, but it will be worth it later. Getting good use out of my planner already! I’m very excited to use it this semester. I’ll be sure to post pictures and whatnot.
Other than that, my mom and sister came up this past weekend to help me clean and organize my apartment. It got pretty bad as a result of my mental health. So I’m glad they were willing to help. I’m doing a good job of keeping it clean. Putting things back where they belong. Etc. It feels good.
Well, back to studying! I want to finish some more revising before I go to bed.
I was going to wait until after finals to officially post this, but screw it right?
In the same vein as the rest of the Script family, this blog is a resource for writers. The Script Hacker can help with questions pertaining to data retrieval, steganography, cryptography (both making and breaking), hacking (both white and black hat), and general purpose computing. Any technology question is welcome, cutting-edge included, and I’ll do my best, but the aforementioned specialties are my bread and jam.
As for me, I am a student currently working on a Computer Forensics and Computer Science double major, with dabblings in Computer Engineering. I have many years of experience with coding, tinkering, and playing tech support for my less informed family members.
Yes, my current theme is under construction. I plan to bootstrap it when I don’t have finals sucking up my free time.
Real quick disclaimer: This is a writing advice blog, and not meant for real-life application. I will not teach you how to hack into something in the real world. I do not advocate black hat hacking, any kind of cybercrime, or breaking the law in general.
That said, the ask box is open.
We’re multiplying, @scriptmedic, you’ve started a movement of knowledge!
I am a girl majoring in computer science/engineering, does that kind of give me an advantage in admissions since there is not a diversity of girls in those major?
There’s actually a huge movement right now to get more girls and women interested in computer science. The main organization behind it is called Girls Who Code, and it’s pretty awesome. You should check it out.
It’s ok if you think you’re not good at coding right now because you shouldn’t be good at coding yet. You’re just getting started. Writing code is sort of like speaking another language. You wouldn’t expect to walk into a French class and immediately start speaking French.
I’m not super nervous but I’m still nervous. >.< I’m mostly nervous for what may come after it - a series of face-to-face interviews. o_O I don’t have much practice with them and since I’m a computer science major they will probably be technical which is one thing I really really struggle with.
I miss tumblr. :’( I haven’t played sims in weeks.
Edit: Thanks for all your words of encouragement. <33
10:12 AM // May 26, 2016 | Already into my second week of interning and lots of programming and learning has been going on. I am so grateful for this opportunity to learn at such an amazing company and to gain this experience this summer and hopefully into the fall semester as well.
some mentally ill CS major problems, and some thoughts about them
trying to fix pesky bugs and feeling like A Failure with every new thing you try that doesn’t immediately work
coding often involves repeated small failures until you get something you’re satisfied with, and when your mental illness makes small failures excruciatingly painful, coding becomes excruciatingly painful even if you normally enjoy it
“it’s always in the last place you look”
most time is spent looking for solutions. it feels really good when you find a solution, but then you’ve found that one and you have to move on to looking for the next one. most of your actual time is spent on frustrating puzzles, not on paying attention to accomplishments you feel good about
because CS is a “smart” STEM major thing, it’s very easy to feel like you don’t actually belong in it
again, because it involves constant small failures, it’s easy for even very skilled/talented people to feel like they’re bad at it
again, because it involves frequent frustration, it’s easy to do it once in a bad mood and feel like you don’t actually enjoy it and therefore your participation in it is illegitimate
*has one bad day* god I never liked this in the first place why am I doing this when I’m clearly a fake and I shouldn’t even be here
idk if everyone has this, but the fear of doing it just for the money–
of being a bad/unpleasant/incompetent programmer because you’re not Really A Programmer At Heart, and all your coworkers somehow knowing this and hating it about you
of becoming a programmer because it’ll Get You A Job In The Real World and then somehow discovering you hate it after spending your entire undergraduate career doing it without noticing this
pet peeves re: marginalization (esp. misogyny, which often intersects with MI):
a man seems very confident about something you don’t feel that way about. you assume he knows more than you do, because he’s acting like it. based on this perception of competence, you defer to him and give him authority. you later find out he doesn’t deserve that authority; he was just really cocky. you could have, and maybe should have, been in charge all along.
a man suggests something. it doesn’t work. he shrugs it off and suggests something else. you suggest something. it doesn’t work. maybe people give you looks, which vary from disappointed to indifferent to downright dirty. you are humiliated. the earth swallows you whole and you do not suggest any more things. if you do, maybe people listen to you less. you aren’t sure if you’re imagining it. you don’t know how to tell.
Are These Men Ignoring Me or Am I Just Too Sensitive?
Will These Men I’m About to Meet Immediately Disrespect Me or Am I Just Too Sensitive?
when a man repeats your idea and gets all the credit for it
when a man repeats your joke and gets all the credit for it
when a man is saying something that doesn’t make any sense and you assume you’re just dumb and incompetent and that’s why you don’t understand it, but later you find out that no, what he was saying was just bullshit
WHEN YOU NEVER FIND THESE THINGS OUT AND SPEND YEARS SHORT-SELLING YOURSELF BECAUSE THE ATMOSPHERE OF OVERCONFIDENCE MADE YOU FEEL WORTHLESS, UNCOMFORTABLE, AND UNWELCOME
and your growth as a programmer is stunted because you’re too alienated and anxious to fully participate, ask for help or clarification, or even interact with other programmers without constantly monitoring and second-guessing yourself
this list is both stuff I think applies to everyone and a lot of my own personal shit, so it’s pretty anxiety-disorder-centric. I’m also white, so my experiences don’t reflect personal harm from racism in STEM. if you’re also a mentally ill CS/STEM major, feel free to add to this with your own experiences/pet peeves! I encourage it! also if you’re an older CS person and have advice for dealing with these things
I bought some flashcards from Target to help with my studying for finals. I have two finals one in “Automata Theory & Formal Languages” and the other in “Design & Analysis of Algorithms”. After creating my flashcards I’ll post them here!
Here are some awesome flashcards study tips and resources other studyblrs have created.